Shift Happens (A Carus Novel Book 1) (21 page)

I shifted into a wolf and waited, watching her every move and looking for weaknesses. Without the advantage of my mountain lion’s strength and quickness, I’d have to outsmart her.

Christine frowned. I hoped my quick shift intimidated her. Not enough to stop her though. She stripped off her dress and held it out. When no one took it from her, she looked around with pursed lips. After a few awkward seconds, a nameless woman stepped up and snatched it from her hand. Christine nodded and quickly slipped out of her undergarments before handing them over.

I waited, taking delight in knowing my breasts were larger than hers.

Meeeoow.
I could shift out of the mountain lion, but I couldn’t take the cattiness out of the woman.

She started the process of transforming. I cleaned the fur on my front legs as I waited. Mel walked over to stand behind me. She reached out and scratched behind my ears. I relaxed under her ministrations, taking the time to enjoy the support. She knew this wasn’t the first challenge I’d faced. If I’d been in my mountain lion it would probably have been the easiest. I wondered if Mel tried to warn Christine. Maybe that’s why Christine insisted I use my wolf form. I glanced up to see Mel smile, a sad twinkle in her eye. She mouthed our mantra to me, “Survive.”

No. Mel wouldn’t have said a thing.

Christine growled and my attention snapped back to her while she completed the final stages of the transition.
Thank the beast goddess I’m a Shifter and not a Were.
That looked downright painful.

Small for a Werewolf, the force of her mental attitude alone must’ve been her dominating strength. Bonus, for me. Instead of taking time to orient her body after the shift, Christine lunged. I jumped out of her path, but she must’ve anticipated the move, changing direction at the last minute and slamming her body into mine.
Oomph.

We rolled over one another claws and fangs flashing, skin and fur ripping—a chick fight hopped up on methamphetamine. But she was stronger, much stronger than me.

“Be better with mud,” someone commented. It sounded like Steve.

Christine aimed low, getting her head and front body under mine. Then she surged up, flinging me a few feet in the air. I smacked into someone’s legs.

“Get in there,” John said. He pushed me back into the cleared circle with his foot. Asshole. I saw red. I tried to turn and snap at his foot, but Christine tackled me, trying to pin me down. With a front leg across my back, she bit into my neck, hard. The scent of my blood filled my nose. Pain lanced down my body, leaving it cold and shaky. My breath came in short huffs. I couldn’t get enough. Not enough! I couldn’t breathe. The room narrowed and my vision shook. With weakened knees, an overpowering urge to just lie down and submit consumed me.

No!

The beast rose up with a surge of adrenalin. My chest fluttered and my lungs relaxed, letting in a large whoosh of air. My muscles tightened in response, ready for action. I pushed with all my strength against the ground and flung myself back. Christine yipped. Her teeth still imbedded in my loose neck fur, I arched over her, bringing her with me. My heart raced, nearly exploding, as I landed hard against her stomach.

Now on her back, Christine released my neck and started thrashing. She kicked me off. We both scrambled to our feet and once again, we stared at each other, face to face, assessing. I knew she’d try to take out my legs again, or throw her body against mine. She’d use her strength. She’d aim low.

As she lunged, I leapt up and twisted, landing on her back. I wound my legs around her in a feline move and clamped my jaws tight against her neck. She tried to buck me off, romping and flailing around the room like a bronco. When she staggered and toppled over onto her side, I quickly freed her neck and flipped her onto her back, using all my weight as leverage. I locked my mouth over her throat again and growled. Christine wiggled and fought against my hold. I clamped down more. Her skin gave way and my teeth sank in. Blood poured into my mouth and out onto the carpet.

Christine whined and stopped struggling.

Warmth radiated through my body. I’d won! And as a wolf. It had been a long time since I’d trusted this form to do anything besides act as a bloodhound. Dominance asserted, I shifted back to human and stood up. I felt ultra-awake, rejuvenated. Pumped.

Mel smiled and punched me in the arm. Her throwing form was horrible and it must’ve hurt her hand, because she shook it out by her side. A few others, like Jess smiled. The others viewed me with blank expressions, withholding judgment. I’d take that over open hostility.

John had a black eye. When our eyes met, he grimaced. How’d he get that? I’d hit his legs, not his face.

I clambered back into my clothes and then found Wick in the crowd. He smiled, rubbing red knuckles. “We need to talk,” I said to him.

He nodded and turned to the pack. “Meeting’s over. Help Christine and clean up.”

Wick’s feet hit the steps hard as he stalked after me.

****

Not waiting for Wick to enter his room completely, I spun around and flung my hands up. “I’m not your alpha female!”

Wick took his time shutting the door behind him. Probably hoping I would calm down by the time he turned to face me. “Your success at dominating Christine would suggest otherwise.”

“I didn’t exactly have a choice.”

“You could have submitted.”

I gave Wick a flat stare so he’d understand how unlikely that was. “I don’t want the position. Christine can go on being the alpha female for all I care.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Usually the alpha female and the alpha male mate, Andy. Are you saying you don’t care if that happens? It wouldn’t bother you if I took Christine to my bed?”

A sudden pain stabbed my heart and robbed me of breath. I couldn’t speak. Wick stepped closer.

“If I put my hands on her like this.” He ran his palms up my arms to cradle my face. “Or kissed her, like this?” His lips were soft and supple. Gently he worked his mouth on mine. I moaned and opened to him. His tongue slipped inside. Lost in his sensual kiss, I twined my arms around his neck, clutched his hair and drew him closer.

Sucking my bottom lip, Wick withdrew as gently as he started. “You wouldn’t care?”

“Ugh,” I managed. “Shut up. More kissing.” I drew his head back down to mine.

Silently, Wick went back to his task of kissing me as if he possessed an owner’s manual I never knew existed. My lips were already swollen and my skin ached for his touch. Wick hoisted me up and I wrapped my legs around him. His hands grasped my ass as he dragged his teeth across my bottom lip and moved his mouth like a caress down my neck.

My wolf rose up to meet his and I beat her down. I didn’t want her to interrupt the wondrous sensations zinging throughout my body. Wick lay me down on his bed and smiled. “This is where I want you,” he said. “This is how I see you in my dreams.”

Before I could comment or move, he lunged onto the bed and caged me in with his forearms. I wanted to feel the weight of him on me. I pulled him down, or at least tried to. He smiled against my skin, kissed down to my shirt collar and refused to lower his body. He held his weight off me in a super plank and I hated it. I wanted his warmth.

He did something exquisite with his tongue on the sensitive skin at the base of my neck. My head snapped back to revel in the feeling as I gripped his back. A sharp ripping sound marked the end of my shirt—I didn’t like it anyway. The scent of musky coconut filled the air, from me, from Wick. Wow. I
wanted
him. Wick flung something out of his way. When his hot mouth enclosed my nipple I realized he’d ripped off my bra. I didn’t like that article of clothing either.

Wanting his lips back on mine, I grabbed Wick’s head and pulled him up. His eyes were yellow. His wolf was at the surface—the sight intoxicating. A soft moan escaped my lips when Wick lowered his body onto mine and the hard ridge of his erection dug into me through his pants. He readjusted for a better alignment and slowly rubbed against my moist panties. Hang on. Where did my sweats go?

His tongue plunged into my mouth and he drove it in with the same timing as he ground against me. Wait. What was the question? Mmm. Who cares?

“Andrea.” Wick’s whiskey and cream voice vibrated down my body.

My hand snaked down to unzip his jeans. He went back to the plank position so I could push his pants down using my feet. I shivered at the sudden cold. As soon as his pants were off, he dropped back down on top of me, enveloping me back into his wolf. His hands went into my hair and clasped hard. His mouth became more insistent, his wolf driving him.

My lungs closed up. I tried to draw more air in, but couldn’t breathe. And then the memory took hold and consumed me.

Yellow eyes tracked every subtle shift of my body. His powerful frame built for intimidation hovered over me. He savored the air, my scent laced with trepidation and terror, his aphrodisiac. I’d loved this man. I chose him.

Wick’s head snapped back and his eyes narrowed. “Andy.” This time my name came out more like a question than a caress. “Come back to me.”

Unable to speak, I shook my head. His hands released my hair and he ran a finger down my cheek. “Please?”

My head fell against the pillow. A deep sigh escaped my lips. My crotch throbbed with unfulfilled need.

Wick rolled onto his elbow beside me, still close and hovering half on top of my body, but somehow the move gave me the space to breathe, or flee, if I needed to. His eyes flared with emotion and a war of scents radiated off his skin: affection, sympathy, lust, confusion, anger, frustration, but his pain cut me deepest. I needed to erase that look.

I took a deep breath. “You said you wanted
all of me
. Then you have to accept all of me. You have to accept that I can’t give you everything right away. Not yet. Not after you hear why I hold back. Maybe then you’ll understand. Maybe then, you’ll accept what I offer and not push me too hard, too fast.”

“Not after I hear what happened?” Wick growled. “I don’t need to hear how that dog forced a union on you. His actions…” Wick squeezed his eyes shut. “If he was alive, I’d tear him apart.”

“We can dance on his grave later, but it wasn’t forced. Not at first.”

Wick frowned. “Explain.”

“Umm…maybe we could put some clothes on?”

Wick shook his head. “Tell me now.” He held his body rigid, with every muscle taut and contracted. His eyes still blazed yellow as he fought his wolf for control. He’d never hurt me, but he might rip everything around us to shreds. So I told him, reliving the events as if they occurred all over again.

“I met him when I was twenty. I’d just discovered Krav Maga and went to a convention as any new enthusiast would. Dylan was an instructor and seemed so strong and knowledgeable. My wolf liked him instantly, but looking back, it might’ve been because Dylan was the first Werewolf I’d ever met. I was infatuated with him—obsessed. He treated me like a princess, doting on me, buying me lavish gifts, taking me to expensive restaurants, and spending every moment he could with me. He told me we were mates. I didn’t notice any of his manipulative comments; the ones that made me doubt my friends or myself. After a year, we moved in together and I started to meet his pack. That’s when I realized not everything was rainbows and donuts.”

I took a deep breath and continued. “I started asking questions, like why hadn’t I met his pack earlier, and why did all the female Werewolves act like deranged Stepford wives.” I met Wick’s yellow eyes. “He’d been prepping me for the mating bond the whole time, to be his personal minion to do his bidding, and I hadn’t seen it. Not right away. I was alone except for him, having alienated my friends and family long before because of his needling advice. My feras saved me. They held back a part of me, the essential part of my essence so even when I thought I was willing something prevented me from completing the bond.

“Dylan still had a hold on my wolf to a certain extent, and though it prevented me from running, it frustrated him the bond wasn’t whole. Near the end, after eleven years of being trapped with him, he became truly desperate in his attempt to break me. I won’t go into the details, but it was humiliating, painful and terrifying.” I took in a big gulp of air. “But no matter how bad the stuff he did to me was, it couldn’t erase the knowledge that
I chose him
.”

I kept my voice calm using an even and clinical tone. It seemed to calm Wick and his wolf. The yellow of his wolf receded so his soft chocolate eyes gazed at me instead.

“That wasn’t your fault, Andy.”

“But it was. I fell for his act. I thought I was in love and he was my match. I allowed my wolf to mate with his.”

Another growl escaped Wick’s lips.

“But I didn’t finish it.” I blushed, knowing Wick would understand what that meant. Completing the mating bond involved a strategically timed bite—the one wound that would scar instead of heal on a Were or Shifter. The mark of a mate.

“You need to trust your instincts.”

“What if I’m wrong again? It
broke
me, Wick. It took me thirty-three years living as an animal in the woods to find my humanity again. Barely. That’s why I’ve been working for the SRD for the last fifteen years. Even now, I’m not whole. I don’t know you. I don’t care if my wolf wants to hump your leg. I can’t go into a mating bond blind. I don’t think I have it in me to break a bond like that again and survive it.”

Wick’s chest rumbled. “When we mate, it will be for life. There’ll be no breaking it.”

“Exactly my point,” I huffed. “Shouldn’t we get to know each other a bit better first? It’s not too late to walk away.”

“Weres don’t have a shitload of potential mates running around, Andy. It will not be easy for me to
walk
away. It will be impossible.”

“Easier than if we’re wrong about this match.”

“Not wrong.” He leaned down and bit my jaw. “We are meant to be together. How did you react when you first took in my scent? I felt the same overwhelming thing. You are just scared.”

He’d felt that, too? “Maybe I am. Why can’t you give me time? What’s a few months in respect to a lifetime?”