Shifted Perceptions (Alpha Division) (8 page)

Chapter 14

Awake for some time now, I stared up at the ceiling, thinking about the night before. I had no confusion when my eyes first opened. I knew where I was, knew who was beside me, and I knew exactly what had happened the night before. And I was pissed as hell. Not at Paul, really. More with myself for allowing it all to happen.

The night
had gone on long into the early hours of the morning, and each minute made me feel more alive than even the most dangerous mission. And it never should have happened.

Sighing, I rolled
out of bed. “Where are you going?” Paul’s sleepy voice called from behind me. Without turning around, I answered, “Shower.”

“Want some company?” I could picture the wicked grin on his face. Or maybe the se
rious, dark, intense expression he loved to use, but I refused to look. If I had, I would have crawled right back into bed.

“No,” I said and began to step away. A hand grabbed my wrist and
my eyelids fluttered shut in frustration. Why did he have to be so difficult?

“What’s the problem,
Terry?” Ooh, my real name? He must be pissed, I thought. That was just too damn bad. He’d have to deal.

“No problem,” I snapped. “
Just going to get cleaned up. I have stuff to do today.”

There was
a moment of silence, as I tried to tug my hand from his, but he refused to let go. “Look at me,” he demanded, in that same hard voice he used with me the night before. The shiver that voice elicited only added an additional layer of annoyance.

Snarling, I turned abr
uptly, loosening his hand in the process. It fell to the bed as I glared down at him. It was hard keeping up the attitude with the way his dark hair stood on end in that just fucked look. It didn’t help that the sheet had slid down, showing off firm abdominals and a dark trail of hair that lead to... I swallowed and lifted my eyes to meet his, making sure he knew how unhappy I was.

“Listen, Paul, I had fun last night and all, but
–”

“You did?” h
e interrupted with a tone that sounded like he was uncertain.
Paul unsure? Right!

“Yes, but it can’t happen again,” I
firmly told him.

“Why not? You obviously enjoyed it.” All
insecurities I thought I saw just seconds ago, were gone. His gaze challenged me to deny it. He knew I couldn’t. That shit head!

My expression must have matched my thoughts
, because he held up a hand, his face softening just a tad. “I’m not saying that out of ego,” he chuckled, when I snorted my disbelief. “Okay, maybe a little bit out of ego. But you just said you had fun and I’m no dummy. You loved every minute of last night.” His voice deepened at the end of the sentence, as he raked his eyes over my naked body.

“You loved the way I dominated you. You craved each punishing slap to your ass. Don’t deny it, sweetheart."

My nostrils flared, as I caught the scent of his arousal. It made mine elevate and I couldn’t hide it from him either. His words were infuriating, yet true.

Sighing, I
ran my fingers through my tangled hair. “It doesn’t matter how much fun we had, or how spectacular the orgasms were.” He smirked at that and I rolled my eyes. Though with a deep breath, I got serious. “But we can’t do it again. Ever.”

“
Because?”

“It would mess up everything!
” I almost shouted, throwing my hands in the air. “We’re part of the same team and getting involved could screw up missions. And I don’t date. I don’t want a relationship, Paul. Not now, not ever. I love my job and that’s the only thing I have room for in my life.” And I promised I would never get involved with a traitor, I reminded myself silently.

He picked up on my thoughts, “And you hate me.” It was a statement, not a question, and I didn’t know how to respond. I thought I hated him, but that wasn’t true. The night before proved that. I could never allow just anyone, especially someone I hated
, to do all those things to me. I had submitted to him in every way.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t hate you
, Paul, but...”

“But you think I’m a traitor.”

“I don't think, Paul, I
know
.”

“You don’t.” His lips were pressed
into a tight white line and his body tensed in anger.

After a moment, Paul rolled over
, putting his back to me. I stared at that back, at the pink lines that were healing. I tore his skin up in the midst of such sinful pleasure and he hadn’t complained, not once.

I thought about what he said. That I don’t know. What was it that I didn’t know? I knew he betrayed us. I knew he drugged Bear and kidnapped Sam. But obviously there was more to it. Especially since he changed sides in the end and helped us. Even T
eij allowed him to stay. Why? If I was anything, I was curious. It was one of my weaknesses.

Hesitantly, I sat on the bed and reached one hand out. My palm hovered
, as I stared at the tattoo decorating his shoulder. As if ripping through his skin, the black jaguar snarled, showing off sharp teeth. It was the most unique and beautiful panther tat I’d ever seen.

Laying my palm on his warm skin, I traced the tattoo, petting the cat as I had wanted to do t
he night before, but never had the chance. Paul had other ideas for my hands at the time. Most of the time they had been tied down, or held behind my back. I shivered just thinking about it.

I stilled my fingers
, though, I couldn’t bring myself to remove them from his soft skin, as I licked my lips and whispered, “Tell me what I don’t know, Paul. Why did you do it? Why did you betray us?”

He stiffened under my palm before turning over suddenly, dislodging my hand. His eyes were full of fire
, as he glared at me. “I didn’t betray you,” he growled.

I shook my head in disbelief. “Yes, you did. You changed your mind in the end, which is admirable, Paul, but you still turned in Alex and Jordan. You still gave Alexander information. How is that not betraying us?”

“Because I was never part of the Division in the first place,” he said simply.

“Huh?” That made no sense.

“I came into the Alpha Division on my father’s orders. I was there to infiltrate you, not be a part of the team. So, technically, I didn’t betray you or the Division. The only person I betrayed was my father. In the end.”

“Paul, you trained with us. That training was
n’t a walk in the park either. You bonded with us. We saved your ass. Multiple times. And you did the same for us. How can you say that you didn’t betray us? To us...” I swallowed down the knot that was forming in the back of my throat. “To me, you were my teammate, more than family, and you shit on that.” Tears prickled behind my eyes, but I held them back by sheer will.

“I’m sorry,
” he whispered. “You’re right and I’m sorry.” Running his hand over my hair, he wrapped some strands in his fingers before letting go with a sigh.

Laying here with him like this was so strange. Our relationship had always been a battle. About annoyance and sarcastic come backs. This gentler side of Paul was odd, to say the least
, and terrifyingly, it was making my chest hurt.

“I didn’t feel like
a part of the team,” he continued. “I saw it as my own mission. You have no idea what it was like growing up with a parent you thought hated you. Trying anything and everything to make him proud of you.”

“I have an idea,” I said, thinking of my own fucked up family.

Paul’s gaze searched mine for a moment before he nodded. “I want to know more about that. About you and your life before you joined the Division.”

I sighed and shook my head. “Maybe one day, but right now, this is about you. So finish talking.”

He smiled for a second, before it dropped and a glazed look came into his eyes. He wasn’t seeing me anymore.

“Alexander was a cruel father.
That’s not a surprise, I’m sure. Alex may not have known about me, but I knew all about him. According to my father, Alex was the better son. He was proud of him, stayed with him and his mom, while my mom and I had to hide in the shadows like a dirty little secret.” His chuckle held no humor. “That’s exactly what we were. It wasn’t until later, after talking with Alex, that I realized our father was even worse to his other family.

“
When I was eighteen, Alexander came to me, asking me to join his plans. All of a sudden, I was the good child. I was the one he needed and wanted. At the time, I would have done anything to keep him thinking that way.” Paul looked away, shame reflected in his eyes.

“So you did what he asked,” I
whispered, understanding now. But... “But what made you change your mind? What made you go to Teij and pull that gun on Alexander?”

“You,” he stated.

Surprised, I stared at him, trying to figure out what that meant. His eyes were their usual dark brown, almost black, but behind the intensity they always held, was a vulnerability I’d never seen before.

“Me?”
I asked incrediously.

“Yes, you. The rest of the team, too, but it was
you, mostly. From the moment I met you, I wanted to know you better. You are so loyal to those men. To you, they were your family and I could see that you would do anything to protect them. And they you. All of you had each other’s back.” He shook his head and shifted, bringing our faces closer together.

“You were so pr
oud, so tough,” he whispered, “yet there was something else there. Something you hid behind your strength, and I wanted to see it. I wanted to be the one you let in. And then, when it came down to the team or my father, I realized that the Division – you – were more family to me than anyone had ever been.

“
My father was a nasty man and I didn’t want to be associated with him any longer. I wanted to be a man that you deserved in your life. Whether it was for watching your back, or as a friend you confided in, or as your lover. I wanted to deserve you.”

I sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. That was a bit more than I expected. “I-I don’t know what to say.”

He chuckled, a sparkle lighting his eyes for the first time ever. The man was too serious for his own good at times. “That’s a first,” he said and I laughed with him.

Our laughter died down and my brows drew together
, as I thought about everything Paul had confessed to me. I understood his reasons, and I forgave him. Just like that. I couldn’t hold it against him any longer. And as much as his words made me want to melt, I just could not go there with him.

“Paul...”
I began, choosing my words carefully. “Thank you, for confiding in me...”

“But?”

“I don't know what you want from me, Paul, but we can’t be lovers.”

“We already are,” he pointed out, lift
ing an eyebrow.

“Okay, let me rephrase. We can’t be together again. I have to focus on the mission, on all of the missions, and having a significant other, won’t work.
Not for me.

Nodding, he sucked in
his bottom lip as he thought. My eyes focused on that lip, on the white teeth that peeked out, and it instantly brought back memories of those sharp teeth nibbling down my body. My belly clenched and I took a shuddering breath before looking him in the eye.

He saw my reaction and for an instant I thought he would respond with an innuendo or an invitation. Maybe even act on it by pushing me backwards and taking me all over again, but he pulled back, breath
ing out his own shaky breath.

“I understand,” he said
, and at first, his resignation threw me. It usually wasn’t so easy with Paul.

“You do?”

“Yes, the mission comes first, and I know Stone is a part of that. So, no commitment.” I nodded, glad he understood. “For now,” he added, his face full of wicked promise.

I could have protested more, but I wasn’t sure I really wanted to. And until I knew
what I wanted, what I really, truly wanted, I’d surrender.

“For now,” I ag
reed.

Paul took that to mean right now,
flipping me on my back and sealing our agreement with a scorching kiss that quickly turned into a repeat of the night before. I was ruined.

Chapter 15

“Paul?” I called as I
knocked on the connecting door. I frowned when there was no answer and knocked again.

After a few more sessions in bed, Paul explained he had a few things to get done and
went to his room. He hadn’t offered any other explanation and I didn’t ask. One, it was none of my business, and two, playing the part of the clingy girlfriend wasn’t my style.

However, I was getting a bit annoyed.
Standard issue for me, I know, but I had a good reason. Bear had called my cell phone earlier, explaining that he believed something was going down. He witnessed more men coming and going from that hidden door, but couldn’t get past his babysitters just yet. I needed to follow up. Only, Paul was MIA.

He made me promise not to go off half cocked without giving him the run down first, but if he wouldn’t answer his damn phone, what the hell was I suppose to do? This mission was bigger than him
, and time was of the essence.

Trying one more time, I got no answer on the phone and the room next door was dead silent. Forget this shit! I huffed and slammed out of the room. There was no time to waste waiting around for his ass.

Remembering the location from the night before, I found
The Pit easily. The parking lot looked deserted, but as I rounded the corner of the building, I saw a few cars parked in the back, including Stone’s Mustang. Being daylight, it was harder to hide, though I did my best by crouching behind some empty liquor crates, as I glanced around my surroundings. I soon realized there was no one keeping watch and made my way inside.

Again, it looked deserted, but I couldn’t take the chance. Moving stealthily
, I made my way around the arena. Though there was no one there, the emptiness had a life to it, as if the building held on to the memory of the things it had seen. If you listened close enough, you could hear the echo of screaming fans, the slap of flesh as fighters made violent contact with their opponents and the sound of the bell ringing as the battle was won. I imagined most sporting arenas had the same feeling. So much excitement and disappointment enclosed in such a small amount of space was bound to hang around.

I shook my head to rid myself of fanciful thoughts,
focusing back on the task at hand.

Just as I reached the hallway, I heard them. Stone and another man came out his office just as I stepped o
ut of sight.

“We’ve tried, but he isn’t talking,” the other man said. “The bastards got balls, I’ll give him that.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Stone replied stiffly.

“Sure, but boss said if he doesn’t break soon, we’re to get rid of him.”

There was a thump just as the wall shook against my back. I froze. “I said I’d take care of it. You answer to me, Chris. I talk to the boss, not you.” I could hear the menace in Stone voice and my eyebrow raised, remembering who Chris was.

“Yes, sir.” I almost smiled at
puckered lips’ tiny breathless voice. I could imagine what Stone was doing. His hand around the guy's throat, as he growled in his face... It suddenly made me think of Paul and I shivered. Man, who knew a little violence could be such a turn on?

Hearing them walking again, I peeked around the corner just as the two
went into the fighter’s quarters. I followed quietly, keeping to the walls, as I glanced into the room. Stone unlocked a door that had been hidden behind a rolling rack of towels. After the two disappeared inside, I rushed to catch the door before it closed and locked me out. Though once I was there, I held it just before it shut and waited a minute before following.

It was only an extension
of the warehouse, a large open stockroom, with wide span storage racks filled with boxes and crates lining the walls. Nothing unusual about it, except for the smell of drugs coming from inside those crates. Looked like I found their shipments.

Grunts drew my attention away from the boxes and I stepped forward. O
ne of those big metal shelves stood to my left, not only hiding me, but also keeping my view hindered. There was a another punch, then the sound of breaking bone followed by a curse echoing through the space. The familiar voice made me reckless and I stepped out of my hiding spot. Luckily no one noticed, too busy with their captor.

Th
e steel chair he was chained to was bolted to the cement floor, making it damn hard for the shifter to escape. Covered in blood and bruises, one of his eyes was swollen shut and his mouth was so deformed, I was surprised I had even recognized his voice.

“Go to hell,” R
ed growled, then spit at the man that had just beat him, which earned him another hit to the face. The man’s face turned a fraction of an inch toward me and my vision saw red. Smiley was so going down.

“Enough!” Stone shouted and I began to relax
, knowing he wouldn’t let this continue.

He stood in front of R
ed, looking down at him with his hands clasped behind his back. “Now, Mr. Johnson,” he said, using Red’s undercover name. “This could be a lot easier, you know. Tell us what you did, and I’ll let you go. Simple as that.” His voice sounded easy, soft and cajoling and I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

R
ed refused to answer. “What did you do to Emma?” Stone suddenly yelled, surprising me.  My head shook, not understanding. Who was Emma?

Then he did it. He punch
ed Red in the face, followed quickly with a jab to the ribs. Red came close to screaming with the contact to his ribs, meaning they were most likely broken. I stood shocked, watching, not able to move, as Stone continued to land blow after blow. I should have known he was capable of this, but he hadn’t shown any signs of violence. I was just stupid. My hormones were just stupid.

A growl rose
up in my throat and Stone twisted around, his eyes full of surprise mixed with hate, as he caught sight me. “Get her the fuck out of here!”

The sight of Batman and Robin walking briskly towards me, their smiles full of painful promise f
inally had something snapping inside me and I launched myself forward, pushing them aside to get to Stone. I was grabbed before I got to him and began fighting, landing solid punches and kicks to anyone that got in my way.

Someone
else tried to grab me, but I elbowed them in the nose. I was lost in my fury. These men were hurting my family! I couldn’t let it happen. I had to get Red out of there.

The problem with th
at type of rage, was that all common sense vanishes. All I could think about was kicking these guys’ asses, hoping to kill them in the process. I didn’t hear Stone calling out orders and I didn’t notice the woman walking calmly towards me. The prick of the needle in my neck made me pause. My hands stilled, as I turned my head. The blonde human that I’d seen in the diner, then later hanging all over Stone at the bar was staring back at me, a smug smile gracing her pretty face, as she held up the empty syringe.

My vision blurred and I instinctively gripped
the woman’s shoulders to stop from falling. My head felt heavy and in seconds, I couldn’t feel my limbs. Blinking, I tried to stay focused, but it was impossible. Black spots were dancing around and muffled words echoed in my head. My neck rotated oddly, as every movement went into slow motion.

“
What did you do?” I tried to ask, but it came out garbled.

The woman’s blue eyes sparkled
, as she leaned in close to my face and whispered, “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

With a last burst of adrenaline, I swiped my shifted
paw at her smug face, drawing deep, bloody scratches across her cheek. She screamed, as she backed away from me, her hand covering her newly scarred face. Though the sight brought me immense pleasure, my lips refused to even twitch into a smile as I began to drop to the floor.

Blondie’s
rage filled eyes staring down at me was the last thing I remembered, before everything went dark.