Shifting Fates (9 page)

I feel nothing.

The numbness flows through me and out, and a wash of sorrow takes its place and floods over into self-pity. How could I not pity myself? I am twenty years old today, and this is how I will die.

I could shift, of course. Try to kill this soldier standing in front of me. Try to run away. But I don’t want to be a killer, and I am tired of running.

Yes, tired. That’s it. I’m tired of all of this.

I look up at the brick buildings which seem to curve cavernous above us, although it’s well past dawn and the sky is a light gray; the clouds look like they’re glowing in the sky. The wind is blowing through the tunnel and I think of Kit and Nim, of the twins, of our den scraped out of a tunnel sitting under a pile of trash. I think of going home, and I am too tired. Nim can take care of them as well as I can. He will have to.

I find the soldier’s face in the blurred and dizzy world, and I fix my sight on his face, his eyes. Deep mines of gold. Summoning all my energy and will, I take a short step forward. He’s watching me intently, and I see the clockwork in his mind turning.

I reach out and touch his lips with my hand. The shock that runs between us when we touch is as thin and sharp as a knife’s edge. It subsides, but only into a heightened state of tension that keeps me on my tiptoes.

He breathes in, and I feel the rush of the chilly air come through my fingers.

My claws ridge the skin on the back of my hand as the energy flows through our bodies. It’s an electric hum, like one of Logan’s experiments strung across the tunnel, something that takes my body and pulls, stretches every nerve so that I am nearly vibrating with the strain of it.

I could do it now. He’s vulnerable. But I want him to know what’s about to happen. I want him to understand.

His eyes meet mine and I see the light dawning in the flecks of his eyes. The clouds have broken and the sun is shining gold in two perfect circles. His lips relax and he breathes out.

The warmth, oh, the sweet warmth of his breath on my fingertips. Tingling shivers fly through my fingers, my arms, my body. His body under my hand.

I push myself up on my tiptoes and let my hand drop from his lips, steadying myself instead against his chest.

Do it now. Don’t think. Don’t breathe. Do it.

Tears are running down my cheeks as I tilt my head back and press my lips softly to his. The earth trembles, or maybe it is the electric arc pulsing as we touch, and I press against him and - do I imagine it? - he leans into the kiss, and desire runs wild and hot through every fiber of my being.

The world is flying around us as he deepens the kiss and I close my eyes, seeing nothing but brightness. My mind is gone, erased with light. My thoughts whirl too fast to catch. The ache to touch him is so strong that I almost cannot will myself to hold back. I think that maybe I will kill him with this desire.

Then it is over and he has stepped back, and all that are left are the ghost traces of something alive but hidden, hidden deep down in the dark gap of what used to be my soul, maybe. I touch my lips in astonishment. This is a part of me that I did not know existed. I am elated, thrilled, ready for death and aching to live. My heart! It pulses in my chest so large and loud that I think I will die already here, before the bullets pierce me. Die of this ache. Let this desire within me swell and take me under the waves of it. Let me drown in this ecstasy!

My first kiss. My last kiss.

He raises his gun.

Chapter Ten

Cage

My hands shake as I raise my gun.

This is wrong. Everything’s wrong. It’s as if she flipped my entire world upside down with one kiss—one soft, beautiful kiss that left me neither breathless nor speechless, but instead did something far more dangerous.

It left a thought behind… one little thought, the most dangerous of all to an officer.

...the thought that maybe, just
maybe
, I’m wrong.

I have to obey the Major’s orders. There’s nothing left without order, and I can’t be the one to break file. She won’t relocate to Central Park quietly,won’t
ever
submit to the military’s demands—I can tell that in an instant—so I have to kill her.

My gun levels at her head as she kneels before me, eyes closed, awaiting the inevitable. Just pull the trigger and be done with it. Pull the trigger, Cage. Pull it and you’re done here. It’s so easy… you’ve done it plenty of times in training.

Plenty of times in training against monsters, not against gorgeous young women who just kissed me…

That’s why I have to do it. I have to shoot her because if I don’t, order is shattered and I’ll have ruined everything. I can’t let my confused emotions decide my actions.

I close my eyes, my teeth grinding as I try to pull the trigger. Just
pull it!

I raise the gun above my head and fire straight up into the air, breaking a good ten gun laws in the process.

Her whole body convulses as the gunfire echoes deafeningly through the alley, and then her eyes fly open. She stares up at me in terrified incomprehension, and I drink in her gorgeous aquamarine eyes as I lift the radio to my lips.

“It’s done, sir,” I tell the Major. “Civilian’s down. Commencing cleanup.”

Lying may be a sin, but I bet God will understand this time. Even if he doesn’t… well, I bet it ranks a hell of a lot lower on the charts than the summary execution of an innocent woman.

“Okay, let’s get you somewhere safe. I ain’t gonna take you to Park Sector North, but the military’s reclaiming Harlem, so you won’t be able to stay here anymore.”

“No. I’m not going anywhere with you.” She shakes her head and looks away as she climbs to her feet.

Damnit.

“Look… just come with me, will you?” I ask as exasperation builds up inside me. “By this time tomorrow, Harlem’ll be
crawling
with grunts. It’s either relocation today on your own terms or relocation tomorrow on theirs.”

“I’ll take my chances,” she says, taking a step back from me.

“Are you crazy? They’ll shoot you!”

Just like I almost did before your eyes broke me…

“So shoot me first,” she says. She lifts her chin and stares up at me, her deep blue eyes boring holes straight through me as if they’re digging deep into the darkest recess of my mind. “We’re all dead here, anyway. Nobody escapes from this city. Not me… not you.”

She takes another step back, and somehow that second step finally gets the message through my head.

She’s not coming with me. She really means it. She’d rather take her chances out here with a damned shifter on the loose than end up corralled with the other civilians.

Either I shoot her or she goes free… and I can’t shoot her.

Sounds like she’s made up my mind for me.

I turn away and start walking toward the end of the alley, but then turn back to her again.

“Hey… before I go, do me one favor, okay?” I ask.

“What?” She raises an eyebrow inquisitively.

“Tell me your name.” I’ve wondered since the first time I saw her, and I’m not leaving without it this time.

The corner of her mouth turns up in the faintest hint of a smile, and then she pulls her hood down so that her face is masked in shadows.

“Bindi,” she finally answers.

“Good luck, Bindi. This is twice now I’ve let you go. I can’t do it a third time.”

She says nothing, and I quickly turn away and start walking.

She’s on her own now,
I tell myself.
She doesn’t need my help, doesn’t want it anyway.

How’s she going to make it in this sector? The military’s moving in tomorrow, and who knows what the grunts would do to her if they found her. Central Command ain’t exactly sent the best and brightest out here to Ground Zero.

She’s got a little girl, Cage.

I shake my head and keep walking. It’s not my problem anymore. I tried to get her to leave and she refused. Her problem now.

Right.

I keep walking. I’m almost to the end of the alley now. A few more steps and she’s out of my life… just like she’d have been out of my life if I’d pulled the trigger.

Ben would’ve knocked my teeth out twice by now for pretending this is her problem, for acting like this is her fault. She’s not the one evicting people at gunpoint.

Don’t look back at her. Don’t you dare turn around. She’s on her own now and...

I turn around.

I halfway expected her to be gone just like on Christmas Eve, but she’s standing tall, motionless, in the middle of the alley. Between her oversized, hooded brown coat and the shadows cast by the buildings, she looks like she stepped straight out of either a nightmare or a fairy tale, simultaneously both terrifying and beautiful.

A gust of wind blows through the alley and kicks up a thick cloud of ash, and I spin on my heels and hurry out back onto Amsterdam Avenue.

She’ll be fine on her own. I don’t know what’s got me so convinced, but I’m sure of it.

Chapter Eleven

Bindi

The soldier leaves, and I am alone in the alleyway. At my feet the puddle of blood is already clotting into a dark red.

I’m alive.

A noise shakes me from my stupor and I fall into a crouch. The rat jumps from the trash onto the cold asphalt and scurries away through a hole in the brick wall. Was it a shifter or not? I don’t know.

“You’d better be careful, little guy,” I say to the dark hole. Those unfortunate enough to shift into small animals get killed sooner rather than later.

Then I think of how close I came to death, and I laugh hoarsely.

I slink back to the subway entrance and walk up the dark tunnel, stepping along the train ties. I pass by the den and look in, but there is nobody there.

I walk on.

Down near the last stop before the tunnel splits off, I see the sewer drain just under a thin beam of light from above. The grate has been welded on, and the silver flashes bright in the light, the rays reflecting off of the watery ground here.

“Good work, Logan
,” I whisper.

The dim light is surprisingly bright after the pure black of the tunnel. The beams of light take any chance they can to bounce, reflect, stay alive, before being eaten by the darkness.

I knock the special pattern on the grate. The sound echoes through the sewer. From inside the darkness I hear a low squeal, followed by hushes. Then the eyes peer out from the dark and Kit runs forward. I kneel down into the dampness.

“Bindi!” she cries. “You’re back! You’re back!” She flings her small arms through the sewer grate and I clutch her hands, kissing her tiny fingers.

“Thank god!” Lily says. Logan follows her forward with a huge smile on his face, and Nim follows silently.

“No, don’t cry, don’t cry,” I say, when I notice Kit’s sobbing. “We’re okay. It’s fine. Everything is okay.”

“I missed—I thought—” she whimpered.

“Are they gone?” Logan asks. He has a welding torch ready to go, and I nod.

“Yes, the sweep is over. We’re safe.”

“Come on, Kit,” he said, putting a hand to her shoulder and guiding her out of the way of the grate. “Let’s get out of here and back to the den, okay?”

“Okay,” Kit says quietly. Logan tousles her hair before setting to work, but her eyes never leave me.

“It’s disgusting in here,” Lily says. “Down at the bottom, it’s completely flooded. With shit.”

“Don’t say
shit
, Lily.” My admonishment is weak, and I can’t even pretend to care about her cussing. “Or else Logan will weld you back in for the night.”

“No!” Lily cries out, but a smile is cracking through her face already.

“I totally will,” Logan said. “You’ll have to sleep here. And your pillow will be a pile of poop!”

“Ewww!” Kit says, laughing. I’m glad he can make her laugh. It’s more than I can do right now. I feel so tired.

“We’ll be out soon,” Logan says, lowering his torch. “Like, maybe five or ten minutes.”

I look at Nim through the bars. He’s the only one who isn’t smiling, not even a bit. His mouth is pinched at the edges. He coughs, and swallows, and meets my gaze.

“How’s the guy?” Nim asks. His eyes flicker down to Kit, who’s sucking on her pinky finger. “The one I... the one I fought.”

My eyelashes flutter against my cheeks, and I can’t look at him. I press my tongue against the top of my mouth and take a deep breath.

“He’s fine,” I say. I can’t say anything more. My throat is closed tightly shut and I think I might cry.

***

Back in our den, in bed, I am lying back against the rough pillow. Kit is curled up against my side, her soft snout nestled in the crook of my elbow. She kicks in her sleep, and I pat her head absentmindedly.

Thoughts swim through my mind in the darkness, but when I close my eyes the only thing that I see is the face of the soldier, his light hair and golden eyes. I feel the press of his lips on mine, the hot taste of his breath, the electric ache that sent my body reverberating with desire.

I don’t know his name, and that’s for the best. I shouldn’t have told him mine. Dangerous, too dangerous. I promise myself to do everything I can to forget him. He is a soldier, and a human, and nothing but a threat to me and to my family.

But as I drift to sleep, my control weakens, and there is only one thought running through my mind:

I wonder if I will ever know his touch again.

***

Did you like Shifting Fates?

If so, please consider leaving a review at your favorite bookseller or on Goodreads. Independent authors desperately need our readers' support since we can't advertise the way that big publishing houses do, and every little bit helps. Thanks so much for reading Shifting Fates, and we hope you love what's coming next!

Sign up for our mailing lists and be the first to know about the hottest new releases, giveaways, advance review copies and much more!