Shine On (31 page)

“I searched your house. When you were out there that day, crying on your Mama’s grave, I was in here going through your things, which is why your pathetic guard dog has been barking at me… at this room. He’s trying to tell you what kind of person I am. Is that the kind of man you want? Is that kind, funny, or handsome?” He shook his head like he was disgusted.

“Why would you do that?” She looked horrified.

“I was looking for the moonshine or money,” he answered levelly.

“Why?” she asked.

He pointed at her and nodded his head. “That’s it. That’s the question you needed to ask. Why do I care so much? See that’s why I cannot trust you about this other guy. You’re judgment is off. You see the world through lenses of good. You think I’m the good guy here. But, I’m not.”

“Why?” she repeated, laying the box on the table and walking over to him. “Why were you looking for moonshine or money at my house?”

Silas pulled out another cigarette and lit it. “Ronnie was selling to the pig. James, I think you met him,” he gave her a pointed look that said he knew she’d been in his office, “fronted your step-father a large sum of money for ’shine. We never saw any payback or moonshine for months. When Pop sent me down here, he said I couldn’t come back to Chicago until I helped Uncle Al with that Johnson case and I found our money or moonshine. I was on my way to see Ronnie the night he died. That’s when things got more complicated.”

“It wasn’t a car crash was it?” she asked.

“No,” he shook his head looking down at the ground.

“It wasn’t you, please tell me it wasn’t you.” She put her hand over her mouth.

“Oh, God no, Emmie… I mean, I’m not going to lie to you, I was mad enough too. I don’t like cheats but it wasn’t me. Gabe, Trick, Sheriff Drake, and I found him. He was already gone.”

“So why the fire lie? Why can’t we investigate it? He may have owed you something but he deserved better than a fiery lie,” she said.

He smiled but his eyes were sad. “See, there’s my smart girl. That’s a good question. The answer will tell ya about me. I didn’t want it to mess up our investigation. I wanted to find that money and get home as quick as possible. I didn’t want the police around here messing things up. Figured if this guy was lying and cheating people out of ’shine and cash, like he did us, he got what was coming to him. We were doing our own investigation. I thought we could bring justice better than any court.”

Emmie closed her eyes and covered her face as she sat at the table. She actually cried. She’d always suspected Ronnie may have been killed but to have it confirmed and to hear Silas tell her these things about himself, it broke her heart. She had been used as a pawn in an investigation.

She didn’t want to leave with him but now that she knew the truth about everything she was afraid to stay, also. Emmie looked out the window to the car.

“If you want me to call Gabe or Ava or somebody else to come get you, I’ll understand,” he said.

She wanted to take him up on the offer but that would have been petty. “No, its fine. We’ve both been liars. Let’s just get out of here.” She shook her head to clear it, ready to move on and get some sleep. “Spotty’s coming with us. I’m not leaving him here.” Silas nodded and patted his leg. Emmie was surprised when the dog followed him to the car.

The drive back to Ava’s was awful. Her heart was broken and she felt like an idiot. She drummed her fingers on the box impatiently. When they finally pulled into the house she reached in the back and grabbed her bag. When he tried to help her she shot daggers out of her eyes at him, daring him to touch it.

She went to the mudroom that led to the pool and grabbed an armful of several white towels. She carried them out to the front porch and made a pallet for Spotty. He’d been trying to tell her all this time that something was wrong and she didn’t see it. He licked her arm as she patted the towels. She scratched his ears and he rolled back his lips in what looked like a smile.

Emmie went back through the large entry and carried her suitcase upstairs. Out of habit she went to open the door to Ava’s bedroom but she heard her laughing and talking to someone else. Of course, Gabe was there. It was probably better that she was alone anyway. She went to the first guest room and opened the door to find Trick lying in the bed.

“Oh, gosh. Trick.” She held her suitcase up over her eyes. “I’m sorry. I thought it was empty.”

He laughed. “Emmie it’s fine.”

She turned her back to him and spoke, “Is Silas in the other guest room?”

“Mmm hum,” he answered.

“Goodnight,” she called, closing the door.

“Night, Emmie,” he said, rolling back over on his side.

So that left Vince’s room for her. But she couldn’t bring herself to sleep in there. Instead, she went to his chest and searched, pulling out a few afghans and a quilt. She slipped into her nightgown and padded down the long hall until she reached the sleeping porch. It had started to rain, so it was damp and cool out here. And the rhythmic sound on the roof overhead was soothing. She propped up on one of the small twin beds, folded back the covers and tucked herself in. She wrapped an afghan around her shoulders and pulled out the box Silas had found in her house. She couldn’t imagine what on earth it was that would be hidden under the floors.

She slid off the lid. Her mouth fell open in shock. Inside was the largest roll of cash she had ever seen in her life.

Chapter Forty-four

S
even hundred twenty-seven dollars. She counted the cash three times and had gotten the same number each time. Why did she have seven hundred twenty-seven dollars in a box in her house? She looked down at the box again and noticed a small envelope with her name on it. She tore it open.

Emma Rose,

Since your mother passed your stepfather has returned your envelopes unopened, so I didn’t get to help out much these last few years. He said he’d give you this one when you were ready for it though. I’ve heard through the grapevine that you want to go to college to be a teacher. I hope this money helps with that dream. I hear you are a lot like your ma, so if that’s true, I know you can do it. I know $1000 doesn’t make up for the fact that I missed your childhood but I hope it helps you better your life. I know that’s what she wanted for you.

Love,

M.V.D.

Emmie was surprised to find another letter scrawled on the back.

Emmie,

If you’re reading this letter, things are probably not going good. I’m sorry I had to use some of your cash from your father. I wasn’t always able to make ends meet, so I just borrow a little from time to time. I do try and replace it though. I know I ain’t been the best stepfather but I did more than that guy who sent ya the money. I hope you’ll think a little of me that at least I’m not using your money to pay off my debts. They’re getting a little hefty right now and folks might come around looking for some cash. So I wanted to hide this for ya in case that happened. So… hope you never find this letter, but if ya do… Use the money good.

Ronnie

P.S. I know your Mama really never talked to ya about your real dad. There’s some pictures of them in a box in the barn, near the rafters. Your mama thought I didn’t know she kept them but I did. Thought you may be curious someday.

Emmie’s mouth fell open as she read the letters once, twice, one thousand times. Her father’s letter was dated three years ago, on her eighteenth birthday, but Ronnie’s wasn’t dated. She laughed when she reread his. It sounded just like his voice. Tears sprang to her eyes. She could hear him saying those words in her mind. He could have used that money to pay off his debts or a big portion of it anyway but he didn’t want to steal from her. Her heart swelled that her last memory of him was not of him shouting at her about making coffee… it was this. He cared for her as best as he knew how. That’s all she could ask of him. It may sound weird but a part of her felt more at peace with Ronnie’s death seeing this letter.

Her real father’s letter is what bothered her most. She knew nothing about her dad. She had assumed he’d died some horrible death and that’s why her mom had never discussed it with her. She felt so conflicted. How could her mama take a secret like this to her grave? She was going to have to spend a lot more time stewing over that one. A lot more time when her eyes weren’t quite so heavy. She carefully folded the letters and placed them in the box.

Then she sorted the bills and rolled the cash up neatly and put it back in the box on top of the letters. She lay down and pulled the covers up around her neck, closed her eyes, and waited for sleep to claim her.

But it didn’t. Her brain kept running through everything that had happened. The box. Her mama. Her two dads. The money. $727. Her eyes popped back open. Emmie threw back the covers, reached down, grabbed the cash, and ran to Silas’s bedroom. She threw open the door and he jerked straight up out of bed.

“Shit, Emmie, you scared me,” he said, putting down the book he was reading.

She frowned. “I didn’t take you for a reader.”

“Thanks,” he said, laughing.

“No, I didn’t mean… never mind,” she said.

She walked over to his bed trying hard to keep her eyes focused on his face. She pulled the afghan closer around her shoulders and laid the cash on the bed.

“Emmie, what’s this?” he asked confused.

“You’re still lying to me,” she said, looking at him at eye level.

“What do you mean, lying to you?”

“You found that box,” she said.

“Yeah.” He tried to follow.

“And you didn’t take the my money.” She smiled.

“Of course I didn’t take your money. It had your name on it,” he said sheepishly.

“Oh, come on, Silas. If you were as bad as you acted like at my house you would have taken that money and headed back to Chicago.” She hoped she was right.

He shook his head trying to decide what to say. “I did have it in my pocket you know. I made it all the way to the door. Then I turned around and put it back.” He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

“See, you didn’t take it,” she repeated pointedly.

“Emmie, I know what you’re doing. You can not talk me into a good guy,” he said.

“I’m not trying to talk you into a good guy. I just,” she tipped her head and thought before she spoke, “I don’t think you were just using me as a means to an end to all this. Tell me honestly, was I your pawn in this game?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I guess not.”

“So, you admit it then. You did have some feelings for me?” she asked.

He shook his head and opened his mouth to speak, “I don’t know Emmie. Just give it a rest for tonight, okay?”

She nodded. Picked up the money and turned back to him. “Are you really so eager to go home to Chicago?”

He closed his eyes and laughed without humor, “More than you know.”

“Then you can take it. I’ll pay off whatever Ronnie’s debt was to you and you can head home in good graces. It’s nothing to me anyway. It came from a man I don’t even know.” She left the money on his bed, turned, and walked out the door.

Emmie had no more than pulled the quilts around her when she heard bare feet padding out onto the wooden floor of the screened in porch.

“Why are you sleeping out here?” he asked, turning the corner.

“All the rooms are full but Vince’s. I’d rather be out here anyway. I like listening to the rain.” She propped herself up in the bed and got her first good look at him.

He’d put his brown pants back on but his feet were bare. There was something oddly intimate about that. She gazed up his body to his chest. The only man she had ever seen without a shirt was Ronnie. Silas’s body was totally different. Firm. Tight. Gorgeous. She quickly looked down at the quilt and started pulling at a loose thread.

She felt the bed sink as he sat down. She scooted her legs over to give him some space. He put his hands on hers to still her fidgeting. Her gaze went up his arms. It was like this man was cut from stone. He was like the marble statues she’d seen in art history books.

She felt her face flush.

“Emmie, look at me.” She pulled her eyes up to his.

His blue gaze was piercing. He swallowed. She saw all of the muscles in his neck flex and relax, “You asked ‘did I care’ about you. It’s not that I did care about you… it’s that I still do.”

Her heart leapt. He’d admitted it. He wasn’t only using her, she knew it.

“But I am who I am. I’m not sure it’s right to drag you into my world. Maybe in another world if I wasn’t me and you weren’t you,” he started.

“Silas, what are you saying. We’ve both made mistakes. But we’ve got no secrets left to keep. Don’t you see that? It’s all out, we’re free.” She smiled honestly.

“You’re still keeping one secret,” he reminded her, “the identity of the mysterious he.”

“Can you promise me you won’t hurt him? If I let you meet him with me tomorrow?”

“I don’t like making promises,” Silas said, looking down at her.

“If you want to meet him, you will,” she said.

“I promise you I will keep an open mind,” he said in compromise. The truth is he was already going to be able to figure out who she was working with tomorrow when he talked to the guy who ran the pig. James had met the guy to get the ’shine. He would have no problem telling Silas who it was. But, if he had a choice, he would rather hear the truth from Emmie’s mouth.