SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror (48 page)

Thomas’ eyes landed on my nipples, as they seemed intent on saying hello to him. Part of me wanted to cross my arms over them, the other side said stick out your chest. It’s not too easy to hide D-cup boobs, so my inner hussy won and I made my way down the stairs to meet him on the lawn. I’m pretty sure things bounced as I did too.

“We got a call that you were forked,” he said while sticking his hands in his pockets and shifting on his feet. Or was he shifting himself down there? I’ll go for Pecker land.

“Forked?” I looked closer at the white pieces of plastic sticking out of the ground. Sure enough, plastic forks were shoved into the dirt every few inches. I couldn’t even imagine how many of them there were.

“Yep. It looks like you’ve been thoroughly forked.” he chuckled and added a smirk that hit me between by legs.

“Ha, ha,” I said back to him. “You wish.” Thomas raised his brows as to confirm that he did indeed wish. Good God. I was a goner for this guy.

“You're the fourth fork I've had tonight.” He moved a little closer to me and I caught a whiff of his cologne. Yes. Completely gone.

“Don’t you get around? I thought that was wasn’t allowed on duty?” I teased him back and moved even closer still.

“Just drinking,” he answered. “Though I’ve never been told not to have sex while on duty, but I guess that’s implied.”

“You think?”

“I do.” He removed his hands from his pockets and rubbed them over my bare arms. I might’ve heard my camisole tearing as my nipples broke through when I felt his soft touch. “As much as I love seeing you out here in next to nothing. You need to change into something warmer. I’ll start cleaning this shit up.”

I nodded as he removed his hands from me. “I’ll be right back.” I turned and hurried inside. My mission. Find the sexiest hoodie known to man.

An hour later, most of the forks resided in trash bags. Thomas refused to let me pick up anything. So I used the hour to stare at his arms as they reached for each fork and pulled. Then there was that perfect ass of his on display as he bent over. I’m now a big fan of forking.

“You sure know how to clean up after a good forking.” I joked while he tossed the last bag into the trash bin.

“I’ve had a lot of practice this week,” he said as we stood in the dark by the side of the house.

“Just this week huh?” I couldn’t stop with the kidding. Forking was now my favorite form of vandalism.

“Funny,” he laughed. “It’s been a big problem this week and a sign that someone likes you.”

“What?” I asked. “They like me?”

“Most of the forking victims have been the pretty senior girls in town. A group of boys is going around forking them for a Halloween prank. Basically they really are saying, we want to fuck you.  I mean fork you.”

I leaned against the trash bin for support. Those words out of his mouth made me weak. “So someone wants to fork me?”

“I think there are more than a few someones, Trish.” He winked at me and I was speechless and soaking wet.

“Officer Brooks.” A voice came through his radio.

“Yes.” He turned his head and spoke into the contraption on his chest.

“There’s been another forking incident reported at thirteen-fifty five South Fort. We need you to respond. Officer Tillman is still on his last call. Damn forkers.”

Thomas and I both laughed at the dispatcher’s comments. He cleared his throat before responding. “On my way.”

“Looks like I have to go save another lawn.”

“Duty calls.” We started walking toward his squad car with neither one of us in a hurry.

“Heard you were going to Mel’s Peckers fundraiser tomorrow. Mel text me this afternoon.”

“Yes. I can’t pass up a night full of peckers.” I said with a giggle.

He placed his finger under my chin and lifted so he could stare into my eyes. “Wear something tight and skip the bra. I met a couple of friends tonight that I’d like to see more of tomorrow.”

Stunned, I watched him get into his car and pull away. My mouth still gaping open as his taillights faded in the distance.

The neon Peckers
sign blazed as I pulled into what was usually Mickey’s Bar. I took one last look into the car’s visor mirror to check the lipstick I’d applied ten times. Yep, it was still red.

I inspected my chest to see if my nipples were saluting. Bingo. I think my appearance will be Thomas approved.

My hands sweat as I walked across the parking lot in my stilettos. I opted for the pair that screamed, “do me” the loudest and these won. After seeing Thomas last night, I realized I had no shame where he was concerned. I wanted him and I knew he wanted me.

Smoothing my dress and blown out hair, I opened the door, walked inside and found the placed packed. Nothing said Girls Night Out like a room full of peckers supporting a hooters’ fundraiser.

I spotted Mel standing by a pub table. She was talking to what appeared to be a doctor. A hot, hot doctor I might add. He was undressed in just his scrub pants with a stethoscope wrapped around his neck. Something told me he’d like to have Mel’s legs wrapped around them instead.

“Hi Mel,” I broke into their conversation.

“Trish,” she shouted above the TV in the bar. The damn thing was blaring loud.

“Mel,” I hugged her back and helped her stand. “Looks like you starting the party early.”

“Dr. Talbot insisted I take shots off of his abs.” Dr. Talbot gave me a knowing smirk. The kind that says I’m getting lucky tonight.

“I bet he did.” I laughed. “Hi, I take it your Dr. Talbot.” I held my hand out to him, he took it in his, and kissed it.  The hot doctor appeared to have quite the bedside manner.

“Nice to meet you,” he replied to me. “Mel told me you were here. Welcome back.”

Dr. Talbot turned to Mel and held her hand in his. “I need to get back to being a Pecker. Remember I’m driving tonight.” He kissed her on the cheek and I swear she swooned.

I watched
her
watch him walk away. Yep, she was a goner like me.

“So Dr. Talbot,” I thought she could finish my sentence and fill in the blanks for me.

“Yes. He’s so dreamy.” I didn’t know who she was. Mel didn’t do swoony or dreamy. “He’s the one.”

“The one? As in china and linens?” I asked and wondered why I was just hearing about him now.

“Already picked them out and I’m wearing ivory,” Mel giggled. “Mrs. Jared Talbot. Sounds perfect.”

“Who are you and when did you meet this man?” I placed my hands on my hips and waited for her reply.

“This is our first date sort of. I stopped by work today and he told me he was driving me to the event. He also told me we are going out tomorrow night as we drove here. I have a date for Halloween!”

“Oh my God. I think you’re either drunk as hell or in lust. Likely both.” I started laughing. Amused at how bossy her hot doctor was. Must be a common trait found in the men here.

“I’ve had a crush on him for two years. Two long years!” I saw her looking over my shoulder and smiling at someone. The angle of her eyes meant they were likely tall and looming right behind me.

I felt a hand on the small of my back and knew in an instant who it was. A shiver ran through me before I turned. I glanced down at my chest and saw all systems were a go with his simple touch.

I turned around and his hand followed across my body as I did. “Hi, Thomas.”

“Hi,” he said in a low, sexy voice as his eyes found that I’d obeyed him in the bra department. “You look great. Nice dress.”

He took a strand of my hair between his fingers and twirled it around one. “Beautiful.”

“Thanks,” I could barely speak as I stood there in front of him. His shirt was missing and my brain seemed to have disappeared too.

He was perfect. The kind of man who makes Michelangelo’s David look like an out of shape sloth. A toned chest, led down to a distinct six-pack with hard ridges that needed exploring or licking. I bit my tongue to control myself.

Gathering all the will power in the world I could muster, I brought my eyes back up to his. I swear his eyes were laughing at me. I reached up to give him a teasing tap on his arm, but my traitor hand wouldn’t leave his body and my fingers tightened around his bulging bicep.

“Hey remember me?” I heard a voice calling from somewhere and realized it was Mel. I’d completely forgotten she was standing there with us. A lust trance perhaps?

“Hi Mel,” Thomas said. A smile busted across his face. “I wanted to tell you that the silent auction is swinging into gear.”

“Well, well, well.”  She glanced back and forth between Thomas and I. “There is definitely something major going on here between you two.”

“I agree,” said Thomas. I’d turned around to face Mel and felt Thomas backing into me. He wasn’t touching me but I knew he was super close. I was tempted to back into him fully… And I did. Why not?

“I agree too.” I said in a shaky voice.

“Trish, remember what we were talking about yesterday?” I knitted my brows confused. “Better start picking out the china and linens.”

A woman about forty came up to Mel and told her she was needed to help with something up by the front door. Mel followed behind the woman and I realized then that she
did
go as Kim Kardashian. She had to have been packing a couple pillows up the back of her dress.

“I can’t believe her,” I couldn’t stop laughing. “I thought she was kidding about going as Kim.”

“I think her doctor friend approved though. Who are you supposed to be?” Thomas asked.

“Me?” He nodded. “I’m Gretchen Rossi from the Real Housewives of Orange County.”

“You’re nothing like those gals because you’re definitely real in the areas that count.” I loved his blunt, bordering on dirty, talk.

“Been watching Housewives shows in your spare time?” I teased and he pointed to the TV screens above the bar. Real Housewives shows were playing on all of them.

“I came in earlier to help set the place up and suffered through about fifteen minutes. Like I said the real housewives aren’t that real.” He lowered his lips to my ear. “I prefer what you have baby.”

Damn. I wanted to find the coat closet and show him how real I was. His words and the way he spoke them were like Kryptonite to me, making me weak. This man had turned me from a streetwise city woman into a hussy on the street corner.

“You have to stop talking to me like that in public, or…”

“Or what?”

“Or I’ll drag you off somewhere in private. A girl can only take so much.” I teased with a wink. I didn’t want him to know I wasn’t kidding.

“Hold that thought. I need to help out the other Peckers. I am the master Pecker after all.”

“I bet you are.” I spit out a laugh and let my eyes travel downward to Pecker land.

He bent down and kissed me on the forehead. “Get a drink and have fun.”

“I want to try the Peckers Passion drink Mel told me about.” I waggled my brows.

“That can be arranged.”

He walked away to join the other Peckers and I looked over at Mel who smiled at me and shook her head. She knew I was a goner too.

I’ve had three
strong Peckers Passion drinks since I sat down. One after the other and I was very buzzed. The kind of buzz that was dangerous around a hot guy like Thomas.

He hasn’t spoken a word out loud to me since our encounter by the pub table. Instead he has talked to me with his eyes, finding me no matter where I was in the room. I wasn’t used to this kind of attention and I had a hard time processing it. I felt like a tightly wound-up spring that would come undone with the slightest touch, his touch to be specific.

I was sitting with a few girls that I knew from high school, and they couldn’t stop gushing over the changes in me and how “big city” I now looked. I had to laugh, because my turquoise dress, teased-to-within-an-inch-of-its-life hair, and heavy make-up were the furthest thing imaginable from my normal New York City attire. I’d strayed far from basic black, but my teased hair was the topper. No one wore hair like this in the city.

“Can I have your attention please?” Mel stood up before the crowd with a cordless microphone in her hand. “I’d like to thank you all for coming out tonight to support the hooters this Halloween. Can we have a big round of applause for all the helpful Peckers with us tonight?”

Everyone clapped while I laughed at the whole scenario. I worried I’d fallen into a bad romantic comedy movie. Peckers. Hooters. It was all Looney Tunes.

“So far this evening we have raised twenty thousand dollars. One of our own Peckers, Dr. Jared Talbot, has pledged to match every dollar we raise tonight. Please come up front Dr. Pecker, I mean, Dr. Talbot.” The room broke into applause and laughter.

Dr. Talbot scooted up next to Mel. “Thank you Dr. Talbot for your generous donation. How can we ever repay you?”

Mel’s face blushed as Dr. Talbot whispered something into her ear. As he pulled away a corner of her lip curled into a smile. I would wager Aunt Marge’s house on what I thought he said. I’m pretty sure it involved her hooters and his pecker.