SHIVER (32 page)

Whatever it took, whatever he had to do, he would keep them safe.

They ate dinner. Fox carrying on most of the conversation, leaving him free to steal glances across the table at Raven, who was more focused on stirring the food on her plate than eating any of it. The longer dinner went the more pleased Fox seemed to become. The talk was mostly about school, friends, a girl named Janette.

After dinner was cleaned up and put away, Fox suggested a movie. Raven agreed, as soon as his homework and chores were finished. He grumbled, but went upstairs to do as she’d said.

“He’s a great kid.” Aidan approached Raven in the kitchen where she was trying to rub off the surface of the counter. She’d already washed everything down once. She stopped her frantic cleaning and looked up at him, her eyes wide and dark.

“You’ve done a wonderful job raising him, Raven.” He set aside the scrubber and took her hands in his. “Thank you.”

“Uh…you’re welcome,” she softly returned.

He smoothed the hair away from her face, tracing the fine bones of her cheeks, before cupping her cheek and lightly placing a kiss on her full trembling lips.

“Oops,” Fox said, sliding to a flailing stop on socks that wanted to skate over the kitchen tile. A blush bloomed on his face along with a smile that spilt from ear to ear. He looked down and rushed through the kitchen. “Don’t mind me. Carry on with…whatever. I’m gonna feed the dogs.”

“Let me help,” Aidan offered.

“No!” Fox’s blush deepened. “I mean, you need to be careful with your arm.” He put his hands out in the form of stop signs. “Stay here. With Mom.” He was out of the room in a flash.

“Well…” Aidan smiled. “I think we just made his night.”

“Uh…yeah. I’d better go talk to him.” She made to leave and he pulled her back against him.

“Let him go. Stay here…with me,” he repeated Fox’s words.

“This isn’t right. There is still so much that we need to figure out. I don’t want to get his hopes up.”

“What about mine?” He held his breath.

“I’m sorry.” She disentangled herself from him and went after Fox.

Raven let herself outside into the bitterly cold night. Fox’s dogs were yipping excitedly over their dinner. Fox made sure he gave each one needed attention before moving to the next one. He sure was a great kid. What had she been thinking to insist Aidan stay with them? She should have thought about the message she was sending Fox. Or what her actions were telling Aidan. For that matter, what were they telling
her
?

What did she really want?

Dinner had given her a glimpse of what she could have. What she could give Fox.

What would it be like to share her life with both of them? But could she find it in her heart to share Fox? He’d been hers for so long. Her little man. Looking at him now though, he wasn’t her little man anymore. He was growing up fast. And not just physically.

“Hey, Fox.” She joined him and the dogs. He looked up, the joy on his face dimming.

“We’re not having a ‘talk,’ are we?” He frowned.

Yep, the boy was growing up way too fast.

“’Fraid so.”

“Dang it, Mom, have you ever heard the saying, ‘go with the flow?’”

She snorted. “Yeah.”

“Well, then you ought to apply it with Dad.” He absently rubbed the fur behind Senyea’s ears. “I know you want to tell me that kiss I interrupted didn’t mean anything, but we both know it did. I’ll promise to not see too much in it, if you don’t overanalyze everything. ‘Kay?”

“Whatever happened to having adult/child conversations with you?”

“One of us has to act the adult when the other doesn’t.”

“Hey.”

Fox looked at the snow-covered ground for a moment. “Sorry. It’s just…” He straightened his hat. “I’m frustrated, I guess. I know you love him. I just don’t understand why you won’t admit it.”

The kid was too observant. “It’s complicated.”

“So’s math, but I’m making an effort.”

She laughed. How did she argue with him? Did she even want to? “Come on. Let’s go watch that movie you wanted to.”

“So, I’m not going to get the ‘talk’?” He narrowed his eyes.

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“What? Disappointed? You want to have it now?”

“No. But why did you change your mind?”

“Maybe I want to try that ‘go with the flow’ thing you were talking about.”

He studied her for a moment. “You’re as confused as I am, aren’t you?”

“More so, I’m afraid.”

Aidan paced in front of the view in Raven’s living room. It was late. Fox and Raven had been in bed for hours. He’d given up tossing on the pull-out sofa and donned his jeans, leaving his shirt draped over the back of the couch.

More was keeping him awake than the thought of Raven a few feet down the hall. There needed to be a new plan, one that didn’t include members of the Maiski clan. This was Harte business, and a Harte would be the one who’d finish it.

One way or another.

“You’re going to wear a path in my wood floors.” Raven’s low voice drifted over the darkened living room.

He stopped and turned, his heart thudding hard in his chest at the outline of her in the dim room. The snow glowed out the window, reflecting the moonlight and the Northern Lights dancing across the midnight sky, but they weren’t strong enough to strip the shadows that hovered between them. “Did I wake you?”

“No.” She glided farther into the room, just on the fringes of the magical moonlight. He made out her soft shape wrapped in a robe, her bare feet. “I couldn’t sleep. I’m afraid of what you’re planning.”

“What makes you think I’m planning something?”

“You’re a man, aren’t you? Actions first, consequences later.”

He wondered what her consequences would be if he closed the space between them? “I don’t want anyone hurt because of me.”

“So you’ll go alone?”

He nodded. She’d find out eventually.

“You are many things, Aidan, but I never figured you for stupid.”

The stupid comment stung, but didn’t deter him. “If I can get Roland alone, I might be able to reason with him.”

“Since when are any of the Hartes reasonable?”

That stung deeper than the stupid remark. “You think I’m being unreasonable?”

“Yes.”

“You’d rather more of your family get hurt or killed because of mine?”

The silver moonlight reflected off her pale face, pain shown like slivers of ice in her eyes. Instead of retreating, she took another step forward. “I don’t want you hurt or killed either.”

“Don’t do this,” he growled, fisting his hands in order to keep from reaching for her. “Don’t come in here looking all soft and welcoming unless you want me to take you up on the invitation.”

“How’s the arm?” she asked changing the subject.

“Feeling less pain than my heart,” he ground out.

She swallowed. “Do you want me to leave?”

“What do you want, Raven?”

“I’m not sure.” She bit her lip. “Can we just…go with the flow?”

He gave a short, disbelieving laugh. “Go with the flow?”

“Uhm…yeah.”

“Last time we did that, you ended up pregnant.”

“Well, we could go with the flow…protectively.” Her blush bloomed like sweet, pink rosehips in the faint moonlight. He couldn’t help finding her irresistible.

“Are you asking me to share your bed, Raven Maiski?”

The roses in her cheeks deepened. “I’d rather you quit with the questions and sweep me up in your arms.”

“Not this time. I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“I’ve never regretted making love with you.”

“Don’t.” He swallowed. “I won’t survive if you tell me to leave again.”

“I don’t think I’d survive it either,” she whispered.

One long step and he hauled her into his arms, ignoring the pain the action caused his wound as he stretched his stitches. He pressed his face into her neck, breathing in her scent like a drowning man. The exotic mix of berries, ferns, and Mother Earth on her freshly washed skin brought a burning ache to his center. Tangling his hand in her hair, he pulled her head back, holding her still as he took in her beautiful face, the sharp cheekbones of her ancestry, the dark almond eyes lowered seductively, and the slightly parted full lips. Her pulse fluttering in her throat was the only movement she made as she waited wrapped in the tight circle of his arms.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he leaned down and gently brushed her lips with his. A rough, impatient sound escaped her, stealing his breath. Was she as desperate for him as he was for her? He deepened the kiss, pushing through the seal of her lips to stroke the inside of her mouth. Tightening his arms around her, he pressed her body flush against the hard, throbbing length of his.

A raw sound of pleasure mixed with pain broke from him. “God, Raven, how have I lived without you in my arms?”

Her chest rose and fell, and her pulse beat like hummingbird’s wings. “There’s been no one in my arms since you left.”

Her declaration stunned him. “No one?”
She’d been with no other man except him?

“Only you. There’s only been you.” She bit her lips as though she was scared of revealing so much.

“Raven.” He cupped her face in his hands and laid his forehead against hers, swallowing the lump of emotion threatening to strangle him. “I’ve never stopped loving you,” he whispered. “Lord knows I tried.” He pressed his lips against hers, overwhelmed with the feelings coursing through his system.

She broke the kiss and reached for his hands that still held her face. Then she led him down the hall and into her bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind them. The room also had a wall of windows that looked out to the frozen river, illuminating the bed in magical moonlight.

Could he be dreaming? She stood before the large queen size, roughly carved, log bed, looking magical herself with her long black hair shimmering with shots of silver and midnight. She slowly opened her robe, letting it fall to her shoulders, and then dropping to puddle at her feet. She wore a silky, flimsy piece of cloth that his trembling hands would tear off her if he wasn’t careful.

She reached out her hand, palm up, and he stepped closer taking her hand in his and lacing their fingers together.

“I don’t want to rush,” he said, his tone reverent. “We’ve never made love without having to hurry. For that matter, we’ve never made love in a bed. The other day didn’t count.”

“Oh, it counted. If anything, it released the pressure of the last twelve years.”

“Speak for yourself.” He smiled. “I’m feeling enough pressure to fuel a trip to the moon.”

Suddenly, she frowned. “What about your arm? Are you in a lot of pain?”

“The only pain I’m in will be relieved once I’m inside you.”

“Well, then,” she smiled a sexy grin, “I hate to see you hurting.” She scooted onto the bed, and Aidan placed a knee on the mattress next to her hip and followed her down.

This was the way it should be, the way it should have been from the very beginning. They’d lost so much time. He swore to himself, then and there, that he would spend the rest of his life making up for the lost time.