Shooting for the Stars (25 page)

Stella stood there alone, trying to take it all in. What, really, had just happened? She still didn’t know what Bear expected their relationship to be. She still hadn’t told him the truth about her infertility.

Except the sound of his “I love you. So fucking much,” echoed in her head. She took a deep breath and let it out again. That’s all that mattered, right? She’d never been the kind of girl who got hung up on planning and definitions. Stella went to her phone and texted Anya.
You will not BELIEVE what just went down with me
.

A minute or so later, she got a reply.
Please, baby Jesus, tell me this is about Bear
.

Stella: :D

Anya: WOOT!

Stella sat there a minute, grinning at her phone. Beyond the flimsy door she could hear men’s voices in discussion. She wondered if Bear had already moved on to focusing on logistics. Or if maybe his mind was still in this room with her, and the horny-teen-rabbit sex that had just occurred.

Maybe she didn’t have to wonder. With an evil grin, Stella removed her shirt and lay down on the bed.

Twenty-Five

B
EAR
SAT
AT
THE
lodge table feeling flushed and jumpy, trying to focus on Hank’s words.

“…if the other party doesn’t arrive until one, and they need an hour to clock out and refuel, that means we could get two runs, maybe even three.”

“That’s great,” Bear said, hopefully at the right moment. He was pretty sure Hank had just told him the party of people who were coming to displace them at the lodge tomorrow had been delayed by half a day. Therefore, the pilots could give them one more morning’s time. “If we, uh, don’t pick too tricky a shot, that will help,” he added.

“Exactly. And the weather is supposed to cooperate.”

“Awesome.” Across the room, Stella’s door opened, and she emerged, a sly little grin on her face.

Bear felt his neck get warm. But then his phone chimed with an incoming text, and he tapped the screen as a distraction. A close-up photo of a gorgeous pair of bare breasts filled the display.
Holy
… He pressed down so hard on the MENU button that his thumb knuckle cracked.

“Hi guys,” Stella said.

Hank spun his wheels to look at her. “Hey! Come here.” Stella went over to her brother and leaned down so he could hug her. “You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “I’m good. What’s the news, anyway?” She stood.

“They got the poor fool off the ledge and off to the hospital in Anchorage,” Hank said, slapping Stella on the rear.

“Good.”

“It gets better. Tomorrow we can have a couple more hours of copter time, first thing in the morning before the next set of people rolls in.”

Bear watched Stella’s eyes light up. “Wow! One more chance?”

“At a
different
location,” Bear said quickly. The ridge Stella had wanted to ride felt cursed to him now. When he got a moment alone with the guide, he was going to tell him that tomorrow they weren’t taking any chances.

Stella’s lips quirked. “A different location,” she repeated.

“Absolutely.” He held her eyes, trying to convey that this was nonnegotiable. He hadn’t come all this way simply to risk losing her a second time.

She crossed her arms. “We’ll see about that.”

His body tightened up. “Stella! The Chugach is nineteen thousand square miles. I’m sure there’s a better spot for tomorrow’s shoot in there somewhere.”

A slow grin spread across her face. “Stand down, tiger. I was just yanking your chain a little. You can choose the peak.”

Whiplashed, Bear forced himself to uncurl the fists he hadn’t realized he’d made. “Okay.”

“In fact,” Stella said, “I think maybe you’re going to have to learn to trust me a little more than you’ve been. Maybe it doesn’t have to be your permanent mission to save us all from ourselves. Not that we don’t appreciate you.”

Bear felt a little sting from her words. What she said was true. “Okay,” he said again. “I’ll try.”

Stella’s eyes sparkled, as if she wanted to say more. But it wasn’t really the time or the place.

“Well, I guess that’s settled,” Hank said, clearing his throat. Bear risked a look at his friend, who wore a bemused expression. “Is it dinnertime yet? Because I’m starved. It’s hungry work watching you two drama queens duke it out all day.”

“I’ll grab my jacket,” Stella said, turning back toward her little room.

Bear found his own jacket and pulled it on. Then he took a deep breath. He was going to have to learn not to rise to her bait every single time. There was nobody on the planet who could get Bear worked up like Stella could. With a private grin down at his boots, he gave his head a little shake. There was a
reason
Stella had such an effect on him. The best kind of reason. From now on, he was going to enjoy it, and try not to fuck it up.

His phone chimed with a text, and he pulled it out of his pocket automatically. The screen showed a profile shot this time — Stella’s breast, her hand supporting the underside, fingers splayed on the soft swell precisely where he would like to put his own hand. The effect on his body was immediate. His groin warmed, his dick growing heavy with anticipation.

Check, please
. Bear powered his phone all the way down for caution’s sake. He would have to have a little chat with Stella later about how awkward it would be if anyone was standing nearby when one of those texts showed up. Would she listen? Probably not. Because giving him a jolt was the whole point, right?

Go with it
, he coached himself.
Pick your battles
. It was a skill he’d need to learn. Stella was right.

He zipped his jacket, hoping to hide the lingering effects of Stella’s sexy selfie. Then he went next door to share a meal with his friends and his girl.

Twenty-Six

T
HE
FOLLOWING
NIGHT
, B
EAR
lay on his belly on a hotel room bed with Hank.

Sure, it wasn’t the Lazarus sibling that he wanted to be next to. But until Hank turned in for the night, Bear was stuck with him. And in the meantime, they were watching today’s footage on his laptop.

“That was a sweet peak,” Hank enthused. “Wish I could have ridden that.”

“Me too, man.” He watched Hank back the cursor up to replay a sick little jump that Duku had done off a cornice. Seconds later, Stella popped off the same jump. The two of them looked gorgeous scissoring down the mountain, one after the other, in the world’s most high-stakes game of tag.

Bear sneaked a look at his friend’s face, finding genuine joy on it. He’d said, “Wish I could have ridden it.” But he’d said it the way anyone would and not like a man who couldn’t stand the reality of his own life.

On the screen, Duku wiped out in a big puff of powder. “Whoops.” Hank chuckled. “Save that bit for the blooper reel.”

Bear’s heart swelled then. They’d racked up a hell of a blooper reel these past twenty years. But here they were, on a hotel bed in Alaska, finishing off a couple of beers from the minibar. And
happy
.

Somehow, he’d done a lot of what he’d set out to do. He was on his way to making a great film. He’d dragged Hank out of the house.
Way
out of the house. He’d brought Stella to Alaska, where she’d always wanted to go. He’d told her how he felt.

That last one mattered most.

Bear got up to brush his teeth. If Hank ever went to sleep, Bear could go down to Stella’s room and tell her again.

* * *

Two hours later, Bear let himself out of their darkened hotel room, closing the door as silently as he could. He took the elevator down one floor, then pulled a copy of Stella’s key out of his pocket. (One of the perks of being in charge of absofuckinglutely everything was having access to any hotel keys he needed.) He swiped the card and opened the door. “Hi buddy,” he whispered, to prevent her from worrying that a stranger had invaded.

There was only silence. She was asleep on her side, dark hair streaming over the sheet she’d pulled up to her neck. She’d left a lamp burning in the corner, probably for his sake. Bear tiptoed over to the light and extinguished it. He undressed, dropping his clothes on a chair. Lifting the covers, he climbed into bed with her.

Bear moved over until he felt the satin warmth of her skin against his. Like him, she wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. He smiled to himself as Stella stirred in her sleep, tucking her body closer to his.
 

Don’t touch
, he ordered himself. He would not to be selfish. Even though he ached to roll her into his arms and touch her everywhere, he would just let her rest. She’d ridden several thousand feet of vertical drop this morning, carving up those snow-covered descents like a woman on a mission. It was no surprise that she was worn out.

Still. Her hair smelled like citrus, and he couldn’t resist kissing her once on the temple. She was
right there
. Finally. This afternoon, he’d driven their van back to Anchorage. It had been hard to keep his eyes on the road when all he really wanted to do was sneak looks at her in the rearview mirror.
 

Now, he snuggled up as close as possible. He didn’t want to disturb her, but she was irresistible. Carefully, he tucked an arm around her waist.

Stella shifted, finding his hand and clasping it. “Sleepy,” she murmured.

He grinned in the dark. “I know. It’s okay. Sleep.”

Bear closed his eyes, too, although sleeping was pretty much hopeless. His body had not failed to measure his proximity to a very naked Stella. But no matter. He’d lie here awake, drinking in the scent of her hair and her clean skin. This was too good to sleep through. He could sleep tomorrow on the plane.

After a time, Stella’s feet curled back, clasping his. Even though he’d stayed still, she was waking up. Finally, she rolled over, her dark eyes glinting in the dim light. “Hey there, sailor.” One warm hand landed on the scruff of his cheek. He hadn’t shaved earlier, because Hank might notice and wonder why.

“Hey there, yourself.”

“How did the footage look?” she asked.

He pressed closer, pulling her hips toward his body. “What footage?”

Stella giggled. And then they were kissing, and it was glorious. Bear purposefully held himself back, sliding his lips across hers as lazily as he could manage. For once, they had time. He’d attacked her like such a beast yesterday. Tonight would be different.

Slowly — very slowly — he eased her onto her back. She dragged her fingernails up his spine, making him shudder. Bear dropped his face down, finding the sweet juncture of her neck and shoulder with his lips. He placed slow, open-mouthed kisses on her shoulder, and then the pulse-point fluttering at her neck. This was the girl he wanted in his bed forever. There was no one alive who challenged him the way Stella did. There was no one alive who
loved
him the way Stella did. He saw it in her eyes whenever she looked at him. It had been there his whole life, and he’d been too stupid to see it.

Gently, he traveled downward, kissing between her breasts. He nibbled the soft swells, chuckling into the skin. “You were
killing
me with those photos yesterday. You know the picture just pops up on the phone, right? For the whole world to see?”

She wiggled beneath him. “That’s a setting you can change on your phone.”

He snickered. “Am I going to have to change it?”

“If you know what’s good for you.” Stella arched, pressing more of her beautiful breast against his mouth. He opened up, taking as much of her nipple against his tongue as he could. And Stella gave a moan of approval.

It wasn’t long until they were both panting with desire.
God
. To be with Stella like this was even better than his fantasies. The way she gasped his name sent shivers down his spine. It was a struggle to break off their kisses, but it had to be done. “Buddy, I need to grab a condom.”

At that, Stella’s voice became low and serious. “You don’t, actually. Not for pregnancy, anyway.”

Her tone was so serious that Bear forced his libido back a few clicks on the dial and tried to concentrate. “I’m clean,” he said. “And the last person I was with was you.”

Her mouth quirked into a smile. “That was yesterday, Bear. Forgive me if I’m not impressed.”

He chuckled, his lips an inch off of hers. “I meant in Tahoe, dummy.”

Even in the dark, he could see her eyes widen. “Oh. The same is true for me.”

“What a waste, right?” He took her mouth in a bossy kiss. He’d been lonely for more than a year, and so had Stella. And all because he’d been stubborn and insecure.

“Mmm,” she said. But she broke off their kiss. “Bear, I have to tell you this now. Because if it’s a big deal, I need to know.”

Something in her tone made him snap to attention. “What’s the matter?”

She put a warm hand on the side of his face. “I can’t have children. And maybe it’s presumptuous of me to project so far ahead. But I know you want them. And if that’s going to be an issue for you…” She broke off, sounding sad. “Maybe we shouldn’t start something that’s going to end badly.”

“Buddy,
no
.” He gave her a quick kiss. “I’m not going to feel bad about that.
Christ
. The bigger risk is that we waste more time apart. I want you, whether you can pop out babies or not.” He rolled off of her and onto his side, pulling Stella into a hug.

“Think about it, though, before you say that. For some people it’s a big deal.”

He shook his head. “For some people I’m sure it is. But I don’t have my life planned out like that. We’re not planners, Stella.” He gave her a squeeze. “You and I, we take it as it comes.”

She burrowed into his chest. “That’s true, isn’t it? We’re not big on writing a five-year projection.”
 

The sexy mood was broken, but Bear didn’t really mind. He wanted this too — lying side by side, hearing all the things on Stella’s mind. “Boring people make plans,” he said, and Stella laughed. “Buddy, I’m sorry if you feel bad about the baby thing. But there’s always adoption. That could be an adventure. And we’re good with adventure.”