13
Everybody knows that almost doesn't count ...
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âBRANDY, “ALMOST DOESN'T COUNT”
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he teachers had an in-service day, which meant one thing: Newark Tech got out at noon and we were home chillin'. I purposely didn't tell my mother that I had a half day because I didn't want her sweatin' me about what to do around the house since I was home early, what to take out the refrigerator, and so forth. The best thing that could've happened to me was that no one was here but me and Shae. My mother was working double shift, Man-Man was in school, and Cousin Shake was chillin' with his fifty-year-old tender.
In between eating Chinese crabsticks and French fries, Shae and I danced over and over again to Brandy's remix of “I Wanna Be Down.” This jam mighta been old but it was poppin' and the CD player in my living room was working Lyte and Latifah's part all the way out. I felt like we were at a throwback party. We were doing every move you could think of from the Chicken Noodle Soup to the Wu-tang to the revitalized Electric Slide. Both of us felt like we were partying on cloud nine. After all, we were on a high. We both had boos and not just any ole boos, but boos that chilled together and were friends. The only way to describe this feeling was to call it fiyah!
For the last few weeks I was doing my best to ignore Josiah's not so subtle hints about wantin' some. Heck, in my mind I had a wedding to plan, even if it couldn't happen for at least another ten years.
When Brandy sang “I could be wrong but I feel like something could be going on,” Shae lost her mind and started doing dances that I had never seen before. I stopped dancing, stood back, and looked at her like she was crazy. “Has Big Country ran away with your mind?”
She laughed. “Girl, you just don't know. There ain't no other for me!” She started doing the snake and then she broke it down and started break dancing on the floor.
I couldn't stop laughing at Shae's dancing and just as she broke out into a spin, the phone rang. “Hello?”
“Wassup, ma?”
It was Josiah and immediately all the butterflies in my stomach started groovin'. “You, that's wassup.”
“Your mother home?”
“No.” Now I know I'm not supposed to have no company when nobody's home, but dang that would sound so corny.
“Your mom's gon' bug if me and my boy Big Country come chill over there? I know Shae is there.”
I turned around and looked at Shae who was break dancing on the floor. “Yeah, she here. And please”âI liedâ“my moms is cool.”
“Straight, then we gon' come through.”
“Ai'ight, do that.”
“Give me a kiss.”
I gave him a kiss through the phone. “That's what I'm talking about,” he said as he hung up.
I turned the music down. “Get off the floor. We need to fix our hair and retouch our makeup. We got some future baby daddies comin' over.”
Before we could bum-rush the bathroom, the doorbell rang. Toi must've lost her keys again. My mother is gon' get sick of changing these locks. I opened the door and oh ... my ... God, it wasn't Toi, it was Dollah. I looked at him like he was crazy. What the heck was he doing at my door?!
“Somethin' we need to talk about?” I asked Dollah as he stood in my doorway. I was blocking his path like I lived in Ft. Knox or something because there was no way he was coming up in here.
“Yo, what's good?” he asked, smiling at me.
“It ain't you.” I frowned. “Now what is it?”
“Fall back, Seven, dag. I came by for two reasonsâ”
“Well, one of them need to be to apologize,” Shae said. “Ain't nobody forgot about you, Clyde.”
“It's Dollah,” he snapped. “Anyway, Seven, let's just try and get over what happened between us. My fault for not treating you the way I should've.”
“Whatever.”
“Ai'ight, Seven, whatever.”
“I just came by to get my ring,” he said.
“Just wait a minute.” I went in my room, grabbed his ring from my jewelry box, came back out, and handed it to him.
“Thank you, ma.” He stepped in a little too close to me.
“Let me see your hand.” Before I could say no, he lifted my right hand and slid his ring on my married finger. “That's lookin' real fly, ma. Now how you gon' take that off?”
“I don't see where it would be that hard,” Josiah said as he stepped into my living room. I could've peed on myself. My heart was thundering like it was about to be World War III up in my mother's living room and Lawd knows I could'nt have no bombs go off, especially since I'm not supposed to have nobody over here.
“Here,” I said to Dollah, practically pulling my finger off and shoving the ring into his hand. “Now, bye.”
“Ai'ight, ma.” He gave Josiah a smirk. “It's always a pleasure.”
The veins on the side of Josiah's neck jumped as he clenched his jaw tightly. He watched Dollah walk out the door and then he turned to me. “Let me hollah at you for a minute, Shortie.”
“Shortie?” I joked. “You been hanging around Melvin too long.” I guess it wasn't funny because no one laughed but me ... and even that wasn't genuine.
I followed Josiah to my room where I closed the door and then looked out my window. “Was it cold outside?”
“Peep this, and peep it real quick. You got two seconds to tell me the deal with ole dude or I'ma step off.”
“What?” Was he about to break up with me over Dollah? “What do you mean you gon' step off?” I gave him the magical look. “You breaking up with me?”
“The look ain't gon' work.”
“So what you sayin'?”
“I'ma sayin', I'ma bounceâme and youâabout to be through. Now I'ma ask you again, wassup with you and this dude?”
“Remember”âI sighedâ“I told you about my boyfriend last year ...”
“Yeah.”
“It was”âI stalled a littleâ“Dollah.”
“Dollah? Dollah was your boyfriend? The one that lied on you?”
“Yeah.”
“So you still feeling this dude?”
“No! Heck, no! He was over here to get his ring. I didn't invite him over here, he just showed up.”
“I can't believe this, you and Dollah? You know I can't stand that dude and this is what you do? You play me for him? So what, you wanna bounce and be with him, 'cause I'm not about to battle Dollah for no chick!”
My feelings were hurt but I knew I had to come back. “Battle for me?” I couldn't believe he said that. “You ain't gotta battle for me. As a matter-fact, we ain't even gotta be together.” I swear I hope he didn't call my bluff. “ 'Cause right about now you actin' real ridiculous. I swear to you I'm not even checkin' for that dude.”
“Then why you lie to me, when I asked you were you checking for him?”
“Because I didn't wanna take the chance of you not wanting to be with me, but I was going to tell you. I almost did.”
“Yeah, and my brother almost didn't get in that car.”
“What?”
“Seven, ma, look, I'm out.”
“I'm not with him! I'm with you.”
He stared at me for a moment. “You wifey?”
“Yeah,” I said, doing my best to suppress a smile. “You know that.”
“Well, let me tell you the first rule to staying wifeyâdon't lie to me. Now, I'll hollah,” Josiah said as he walked out of my room.
“Josiah,” I called behind him but he ignored me.
“Yo, Big Country,” Josiah said. “I'm 'bout to bounce. You comin'?”
“Yeah, I need to help my moms with something anyway.” He gave Shae a peck on her forehead. “Stay pretty.”
Shae couldn't stop cheesing long enough to notice the tears in my eyes.
Once Melvin and Josiah left, I broke down and cried. “What happened?” Shae said in a panic.
“He said”âI shivered and my chest heavedâ“ âI'll hollah'.”
“What does that mean?” Shae asked.
“I don't know,” I cried. “I really don't know.”
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For the first time ever on a school morning I didn't need my alarm clock to wake up, because I'd been up all night crying. My eyes were puffy and I had a headache. And since I was depressed I wanted to dress the opposite of how I felt, so I threw on a fitted cream thermal, a brown corduroy miniskirt, multicolored tights decorated with flowers and stripes, and a pair of brown suede boots. My hair was hanging down, flat-ironed straight, with a cream silk scarf tied around the front like a headband.
I decided not to eat breakfast but instead take the early bus to school. I figured Shae would get the hint when she didn't see me. So I grabbed my off-white goose down coat and pulled the drawstrings tight to my waist, picked up my backpack and was on my way.
“Dang, retardo,” Man-Man said on my way out the door. “What, the special ed kids testing early today?”
I felt so sad I didn't even respond.
“Bubble Butt, you're not gon' say nothin'? Oh man, what's wrong?” He ran up and hugged me from behind. “Come sit down and talk to me.”
I looked at him, gritted my teeth, and said, “Move! Get yo' stinkin' self away from me and go put on some deodorant.”
“Maaaaa!” he cried, running toward my mother who'd just come in the house from work. “Did you tell them I was stinking the other day?”
“What are you talking about, Man-Man?” my mother snapped. “Why would I tell somebody that?”
“Then why she say to put on some deodorant? I take the best wash-up I can in the morning,” he cried.
I turned to him and said, “And that's why you stink!”
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As soon as I arrived at the bus stop, the bus had just pulled up and was loading with passengers. After I paid my fare, I would've usually gone straight to the back, but today I took the first seat I found.
I really couldn't believe this was happening to me. My relationship with Josiah had gone by so fast and the hurt that I thought I could cry away still stung in my chest like lightning. The invisible fist in my throat pressed against my tonsils like a migraine and for a moment I wondered if I would ever recuperate.
I pressed the buzzer so I could get off at my stop and as the doors opened, Josiah was sitting on the hood of his parked car. I rolled my eyes up to the sky.
“Come 'mere,” he said as I attempted to pass by. There was no way I could let him know he'd hurt my feelings. He pulled slightly on my arm. “Where you going?”
I put up a little resistance but not much.
“What?” I wiggled my neck and sucked my teeth as he pulled me close. “I thought you were hollerin'.”
“And I did.” He held me around the waist. “How long did you think I was gon' stay away? A night was enough for you to get the point.”
“So what, I was on punishment?”
“Yep, but I ended up punishing myself because I picked up the phone like a hundred times to call you. You missed me?”
“Uhmm hmmm.” I sucked my teeth. I was doing my all not to laugh, but he looked so cute, dressed in his red North Face bubble jacket, red baseball cap, black jeans, and matching Tims.
“You know you wanna smile.”
I could tell my dimples gave it away, so I turned my face.
“Don't lie to me no more. I hate lies. The last time my brother lied and said he was only going to the store, he never came back.”
“I'ma always come back.”
“You better.” He reached in his pocket and took out a gold box with a white bow on top.
I reached for the box.
“Naw.” He waved the box in front of me. “These for wifey.”
“So I ain't wifey no more?”
“I don't know, you tell me.” He handed me the box and when I took off the top, there were two heart-shaped bamboo earrings with “Wifey” written in big script letters in the center of each of them. I held the box to my chest with my arms crossed and before I could get a hold of myself, I was hugging the box as if it were a long lost cousin.
“Can I get some of that?” Josiah asked.
“Ohhhhh.” I opened my arms and he moved into my embrace.