Shrinking Violet (26 page)

"That means a lot." I sniff. "Now go have fun," Rob says.

"We will." I take Gavin's hand. "Don't wait up for me, guys-- the limo will bring me home." Oh, I love saying that! Even if it turns into a pumpkin after midnight, I'm happy to be Cinderella for one night.

I don't wait for Mom's answer. I don't need one. I leave her and Rob standing there while Gavin leads me onto the dance floor. The chance to be alone with Gavin is what I've been waiting for. I'm not letting anyone ruin our night. The song playing is a fast-paced Maltese hit, "Random Night," from a couple of years ago, so we both try to keep the beat. Gavin doesn't seem to mind that all my dancing lessons consist of me

"shaking what my mama gave me" around my room with my iPod.

Toward the end of the song we lace our fingers together. I imagine being this close to your crush is how true bliss feels.

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You don't care about anyone else around you. You don't care if you dance like an android. Okay, maybe just a little.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spy something that looks like a flying object. I do a double take. Stacy's charging toward us. Hasn't she bothered me enough for one night?

One lifetime?

"What is it?" Gavin asks.

I eyeball Stacy, and Gavin glances to his left. "Don't worry. I'll deal with her."

I let go of his hands. "No, I've got this one." The flames are bursting from me like a grease fire on a gas stove.

When Stacy's less than a foot away, I put my hand up to her face. "I've had enough of your crap. I don't know what you've got up your butt, but it's old." At this point I have no idea what I'm saying, but I don't let that stop me. "And another thing, your attitude sucks. I don't know what I did to deserve your abuse, but get over it!"

Stacy's jaw drops and she takes a step back.

I cross my arms and let my eyes burn holes in her skin. She's not escaping.

She blinks. "I just wanted to tell you that you've got balls. To go on the radio and all."

"Huh?" Is that a compliment? An attempt at an apology? Is she that wasted?

"That's all I wanted to say. Have fun, beyotch!" Stacy stumbles off, nearly tripping over her three-inch heels.

Gavin and I are so dumbstruck that we stand on the dance

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floor like statues for a few seconds. Could Stacy possibly have a conscience?

"What was that?" Gavin finally asks.

"I don't know. Is there a full moon tonight?"

"You bet." He grins.

It takes a Shrinking Violet tune, "Freeze-dried Love," for us to start moving again. This time Gavin draws me closer until our bodies touch. The heat of his chest soars through me like a rocket. We are fused together and sway back and forth for the entire song.

He whispers in my ear, "That was incredible how you handled Stacy. I'm impressed."

"Me, too." Maybe I do have a little of my mom in me. Scary thought.

I look up at Gavin. At his rich, cherry lips. He pulls me in even closer, slipping his hands around my waist. Our lips touch, and I open my mouth slightly. He slides his soft tongue inside and warms up my whole body. I try not to wonder if I'm kissing right and just wrap my arms around his broad shoulders.

I've never tasted anything so good. I am in heaven.

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chapter TWENTY-SEVEN

Good morning, Miami, this is my first early bird broadcast. I feel like I've been running all
weekend, but this tune couldn't wait. It was just released and is already number one on
the Billboard charts, "The Moon Stops for You" by Gavin Tarn. It's the kind of song that
melts in your mouth and lingers on your tongue, leaving you wanting more ...forever.

***

Prom was two days ago, but I'm still walking on air. As soon as I wake up, I pull the photo out from under my pillow. Me and Gavin, bleary-eyed, dancing to the last song, Juice Box's "Spill

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Proof." I'm glad I have evidence that the night existed, that and the SLAM webcast.

Otherwise I still might think it was all a dream.

I check the call list on my cell. Gavin's name is listed between Domino's Pizza and Mom.

We're two and a half weeks away from Graduation Day. I'm not sure if I want it all to end. It's funny; in the beginning of the year, I was terrified about being the third person to walk onstage to receive my diploma. Now even if Allison Abel and Phillip Abraham were absent, I wouldn't mind going first.

I'm finally getting used to being in high school. Maybe this yearning for more leaves me at a good starting place for college, even though Gavin and I will be three hours away from each other. I know we'll see each other on weekends, talk on the phone . . but I'll still miss him.

Mom's not up when I get to the kitchen. She went out with an old friend from high school last night, one she hasn't seen in ten years. I wonder if ten years from now everyone at Ridgeland will only be a distant memory. Not Audrey and Gavin, of course.

It's weird. You see certain people practically every day for four years and then, just in an instant, you never see them again. Then and now is only separated by one day.

I make a couple slices of toast and grab my bag. I've got some unfinished business to take care of at SLAM.

"Take my car; I don't need it today," Mom calls from the top of the stairs.

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I grab the keys from the kitchen. "Thanks. I'm off to the station. See you later."

She waves good-bye. I really hope she comes through with her promise to buy me a car for graduation. I don't care if it's an old clunker; I just want my own ride.

I listen to SLAM the whole trip. I'm so glad I'll be able to keep working there while I'm at University of Miami. The station is like family now.

It's much quieter on the weekends. There are no bodies rushing around the sales office and no Pop-Tart up front answering the phones. I find Derek in the production room working on a commercial.

"Hey, babe." He slides a CD into the player. "How did you know I'd be here?"

"I've got my sources." And Jason's phone number.

"I thought you were too hot for Dynamite Derek." He brings his finger to his lips, wets it with his tongue, and makes a sizzling sound.

I stand in front of him. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Really?" He drops his feet from the edge of the console and sits up straight.

"Yeah, you're a sleaze, but with some redeeming qualities." Something about my confrontation with Stacy has left me feeling liberated.

"Gee, thanks." He lets out a fast laugh.

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"All I'm saying is, if I never went through with the contest, I would've never--"

"I know, you would've never met your Romeo."

"Well, that's up for debate because I already had a crush on him, but without the contest, I wouldn't have truly broken free from my mask."

"Now you've lost me." He puts up his hand.

"Just wanted to thank you, that's all."

Derek slaps the label of the commercial onto the CD cover. When he sees me looking, he flips it over.

"You're welcome." He smiles a real smile, no sleaze. "See you tomorrow, Dynamite Derek."

I leave him to finish cutting the Viagra commercial. No comment.

Gavin answers the door in a black Shrinking Violet tee with raised bubbly letters.

"Hey, where did you snag that?" I ask.

"I've got connections."

"Really?"

He leads me back to the family room and hands me a purple version of the same shirt.

"For you."

"Thanks." I hold it up. "I love it."

"Yeah, I thought you could use a little color." He laughs. "Great, Mom." I sit down on the couch. He plops down right

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next to me. I lean my head on his shoulder. I'd be content if we could just stay like this forever.

I look over at the end table cluttered with frames. There's a small one up front of Gavin in a football uniform. He's sporting a huge toothy grin. He looks eight or nine. "You were so cute."

"Ugh, I look like such a dork in that picture."

I straighten my back. "You never told me what happened with the coach at school.

About how he lied."

"Oh, that."

"You don't have to--"

"No, it's okay. It wasn't even really about me, but Reynolds pissed me off. There was this kid on the team from England, Patrick Olsen--"

"I know who you're talking about." I smile. The kid I used to have a crush on.

"Anyway, he always busted his ass, more than anyone else. Coach kept on telling him that if he played well, he could make it professionally. Then one day I got to the locker room early and overheard Reynolds talking to the varsity coach, telling him what a loser Olsen was, that if he actually thought he would play pro ball later, then he was a bozo."

"That's so mean," I say.

"The guy was a dog. He totally pumped up this kid, then laughed at him behind his back. I didn't want to be around someone like that."

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"Did you tell anyone?"

"I spoke with my dad about it. He said it was up to me what I wanted to do. At that point I just wanted out. My dad respected my decision."

"That's really cool." I rub Gavin's back. "Did you say anything to Patrick?"

"No, I couldn't. Who knows, maybe he'll prove Coach wrong."

"Let's hope."

"Enough of me. Shall we?" He gets up and pops in a Juice Box DVD. We don't move until the concert is over.

"So what are you doing this summer?" I stretch my legs across his lap.

"I'll be around, just working at my dad's office." Gavin shifts his arm around me. "How about you?"

"No plans, really. Besides hanging at the station and doing some volunteer work."

"What's that?"

"Reading for the blind."

He runs his finger over the bridge of my nose and in between my eyes. "Ah, you really learned a lot from Helen."

"I did. She was an amazing woman."

He lowers his voice and makes his hands look like claws. "That's awesome. I learned a lot from Stephen King, too."

"Very funny." I laugh.

I deepen my voice, too, and say, "Want to go to a party with me on Saturday?"

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"Will there be blood and guts?" He gnaws at my neck. "No, but there'll be Wiener schnitzel and sauerkraut." I gently press my lips against his.

"Huh?" He pulls back slightly and furrows his brows.

"German Club. Don't ask. I promised Kayla."

"You're full of surprises." He grins.

"Who knew?" Certainly not me.

Gavin leans in closer. "I love listening to you."

"You mean, Sweet T." I laugh.

"No, actually I mean you, Tere. Whenever you speak, it really means something."

I reach for his hand and squeeze. "Thanks. That's so sweet."

"Of course, I love your show, too." He tilts his head and brushes the tip of his tongue against my lips. I close my eyes and gently thrust my tongue inside his mouth. My whole body tingles. I slowly pull out, and he kisses me back. Everything feels so perfect that I'm afraid to stop.

We hear footsteps shuffling down the hall and immediately sit up straight. When no one opens the door, we both breathe a sigh of relief.

I lick my lips, savoring the taste of Gavin. My eyes flit to the pink frame above the TV, and I read aloud,
"Don't be afraid to succeed. You might just surprise yourself."

"What's the thing you're most afraid of?" I run my fingers through Gavin's hair.

"Not living up to my mom's needlepoint sayings." He laughs.

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I elbow him lightly in the ribs. "No, really."

"Not being able to play my music every day." He leans over and brushes a strand of hair from my face. "What about you? What are you most afraid of?"

I sink into his deep onyx eyes. They're warm and inviting, and the snowball that's been inside me for so many years melts away.

And I realize what it is I no longer fear.

Speaking my mind.

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Reading Group Guide

***

shrinking violet

danielle Joseph

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questions for discussion

1. Does being shy mean you lack confidence? How much of a role do you believe Tere's self-image plays in her being shy?

2. What is your initial impression of Tere's mom, Delilah? Does it remain the same by the end of the book?

3. Tere states, "I'm glad I have Audrey to talk to, but still I can't share everything with her. Not the depths of my soul." Does this change your thoughts on their relationship?

Should best friends be able to share everything? Do you think that Tere and Audrey's friendship is one that is lasting?

4. What are your thoughts on the novel's structure considering that the narrative is told from only Tere's perspective?

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Do you think you would have the same impression of the characters if it was told from a different perspective?

5. Why do you think Gavin and Tere are so connected? How do you think their upbringing and lifestyle affect who they are?

6. Considering how shy Tere seems, is Derek's decision to make Tere a prize in a contest inconsiderate? Why do you think Rob went along with the idea?

7. Was Stacy's anger at Tere justified?

8. Discuss the theme of wearing a mask in
Shrinking Violet.
To which characters does this apply, and why?

9. Did Tere become more self-assured through being a DJ or do you think it was caused by multiple factors? Explain.

10. Do you believe the book's title,
Shrinking Violet,
to be an apt description of Tere?

11. Is there anything about Tere and her experiences that are similar to situations you've had to deal with? Discuss.

12. What would be the next chapter in Tere's life as she graduates and goes on to college?