Side Chic 3 (The Ratchetness Continues) (13 page)

She looked away with her arms folded across her chest. I knew that she didn’t like what I was saying and that was cool but I wasn’t about to bite my tongue. “I hear you.” She replied.

“Yeah, I hope that you are listening.” I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. At first she acted as if she didn’t want to kiss me but after a few seconds she melted into my embrace and kissed me back.

“Why can’t you stay?” She asked breaking our kiss.

“Not tonight. I have to go home. Lala and the girls are leaving in the morning and I want to go and be with my babies before they leave.”

She looked at me skeptically. “Those babies are asleep.”

“Probably but they do wake up throughout the night and when they do, daddy is going to be there.” I gave her a peck and headed for the door. “Lock up.”

“Yeah…” She said dryly.

“I’ll call you when I get home.” I told her and then left.

Lala

              I was coming back down the hallway with Laila in my arms when I heard the music from Tre’s car. I immediately became nervous and started to feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach. I took a deep breath. “Lala, get it together. You have to tell him how you feel. You can’t run away like you did before and allow him to run off into the sunset with that heffa Mina.” Laila looked up at me and gave me a wide grin. “What are you grinning at?” I held her up and kissed her chubby cheek. “No mama can’t let your daddy run off with that heffa.” She continued to smile like she knew exactly what I was saying. Just as we were going into the living room, Tre came inside. “Hey.” I spoke and then continued on my way in the living room. I took a seat on the sofa.

             
Tre came in and tossed his bags in the chair over in the corner. “Hey.” He spoke as he walked over and took Laila from my arms. I smelled the scent of alcohol and knew that he’d been drinking. “What is daddy’s Fat-Fat doing up?” He asked planting kisses on her cheeks. He sat down on the other end of the sofa and played with her. “Daddy is going to miss his baby.”

I sat there for a few seconds trying to decide if now wa
s a good time to say what I needed to say or if I should wait. Then without further hesitation, I blurted. “You don’t have to.”

“Huh?” Tre asked looking at me confused. “I don’t have to what?”

“You don’t have to miss them.” My eyes met his. The confused expression that remained on his face told me that he still wasn’t following me. I shifted my body so that I was facing him and then I began to explain myself. “Tre, a lot has happened over the past few months and it’s made me look at things a lot differently. When I first came back down here it was solely for you to bond with the girls and so that you and I could both be with Lola while she recovered from her heart surgery but then you got shot. When I first came back down here.” I paused and thought back to the night that I’d gotten the call from his parents informing me that he’d been shot. I felt myself becoming emotional. I took a deep breath and then continued. “I’ll never forget all of the things that went through my mind when your dad told me that you’d been shot. I was so scared. I kept thinking of how we’d been at each other’s throats for so long and as soon as things had started to get better the devil had stepped in. I kept trying to imagine what I would do if you didn’t make it.” I reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. “I begged God to let you pull through so that you could be here to help me raise your daughters. I didn’t want them to have to grow up without you but I also didn’t want to have to be without you. I wanted more time with you. I wanted a chance to hear your voice again. To hear you laugh and see your smile. At the time, I thought that I was just feeling what any other woman would feel if her children’s daddy was laying in the hospital fighting for his life. After you pulled through and came home. I noticed that something had changed. My feelings for you were different than they’d been prior to you getting shot. Being here with you and the girls every day and seeing how attached they’ve become to you and you to them. I realized that’s something that I don’t want to change. I like waking up to the sound of your voice in the morning, walking into the room and seeing you with our daughters. I love the moments that we share together as a family. What I am trying to say to you is…I want to give the two of us a real try. We were good together. I know that we weren’t in a real official relationship but you have to admit that we shared something deeper than sex. Even though you were with Kisha, I know that you felt something for me. I know because of how you reacted to me leaving. I remember how upset you were with me when I spoke to you on the phone after I left. That tells me that you felt something for me too. Maybe not what I felt for you or not even close but you felt something. All I am asking you is if we can give us a try. If it doesn’t work then we can at least say we gave it a shot.” I sat there looking at him through teary eyes, my heart beating a mile a minute. My nerves were all over the place. I studied the expression on his face trying to guess what his response might be. Something told me that it wasn’t going to be what I wanted to hear.

“Lala…” Tre started after letting out a
long sigh and scratching his head. “I will admit that what we shared was deeper than sex. I really did care a lot for you and I still do. I mean, I love you. You’re the mother of my children and you are a good woman. If the circumstances were different, I would give us a try but after all that has happened and the way that this thing started between us. I can’t. It just wouldn’t be right.”

“It wouldn’t be right? Why Tre? Because of Kisha?” I questioned. “Or is it because of Mina? Kisha has moved on with Skeet. She is with your homeboy
. So what could she possibly say about you being with me? As far as Mina is concerned, I don’t know her that well but what I do know is that her babydaddy ain’t been locked up a good month and she’s already on to the next one!”

“Lala, don’t speak on something when you don’t know all of the facts.” Tre tried to check me. “Her and her babydaddy were broken up months before he got locked up.”

I sucked my teeth. “And what does that mean? You see this shit all the time just like me. A nigga gets locked up and his babymama starts fucking with somebody else then soon as he comes home she is right back dealing with him. They probably would be together now if he hadn’t gotten locked up. Like I said, I don’t know Mina that well but this is Boykins and people talk. She has left Mello a million and one times and gone right back. Who’s to say that she won’t do the same thing this time? If you ask me she is just fuckin’ with you on some rebound shit!” I wasn’t trying to come off as a hater or anything but I felt like I had to do whatever it took to get him to at least consider giving us a chance. I didn’t want to lose him to Mina.

“Me not giving us a try doesn’t have anything to do with Mina. Well…not really. My decision is based on what is best for everybody and you and I trying to have a relationship wouldn’t be what is best for everybody because there would constantly be drama between you and Kisha. She would feel like, I chose you over her. I don’t want to deal with that back and forth. I also don’t want to feel like…”

I cut him off. “Fine…I understand. I get it. Let’s just act as if I never brought this up.” I got up from the sofa. My feelings were deeply hurt even though I’d known that there was a possibility that he may not be interested in being with me.

“Where are you going?”
He asked looking up at me. “You’re not mad, are you? Come here, let’s finish talking about it. I don’t want us to be on bad terms like in the past.”

“Nah, I’m not mad. I said what I needed to say and you listened. I appreciate that.” I told him as I turned to go down the hall. I didn’t want to breakdown in front of him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” I
said over my shoulder as I left the room and went down the hallway into the bedroom. Inside the bedroom I leaned against the door and rested my head back on it. The tears streamed from my eyes freely. I felt so stupid. I’d allowed myself to fall for Tre yet again and again I was in love all by myself because he didn’t feel the same way…again. All I needed was a chance to show him just how good we could be together but because of the past and present bullshit I wasn’t going to get that chance. Karma was definitely an ugly bitch.

I wiped my tears and then got out some clothes so that I
could take a shower. I went into the bathroom and turned on the hot water mixing in a little bit of cold, leaving it hot as I could bare it. I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the shower underneath the water. As I stood there allowing the water to run over my hair and my body. My tears began to flow again, I’d wanted badly for things to work between Tre and me. Not just for me but for Laila and Lola as well. What could be better than us being together and raising our daughters together under the same roof? Giving them the family that they deserved. I’d gone out of my way over the past few months to show him how much I cared for him. Kisha hadn’t been by his side like me. Yeah, she’d gone up to the hospital and visited him but most of the time she’d start an argument before she left. And where was Mina’s funky ass at? Neither of those bitches had been there! It was me…Lala! Yet, he was worried about how they might feel. At this point, I didn’t give two fucks about how Kisha felt! I was done feeling bad because she wasn’t no victim. She had a lot of shit with her and it was as clear as day. I wasn’t buying that bullshit about her and Tre’s boy getting together after her and Tre broke up. Something had been going on before then but Tre was so hung up on how wrong he’d done her that he couldn’t see it. She may have had him fooled but I knew better.

I lathered up my bath sponge and took my bath. When I was done I rinsed the suds from my skin, turned the water off and stepped out of the tub. I dried off and then wrapped the towel around my body. I looked in the mirror at my reflection. My eyes were red and puffy from crying.
I felt so emotionally drained. I also felt a migraine starting to rear its ugly head. I opened the medicine cabinet and got out the bottle of Advil. I poured two into my hand and then tossed them in my mouth and swallowed.

“Oh well Lala, you gave it your best shot.” I said aloud to myself. I brushed my teeth and then went back into the bedroom. I noticed that Tre had brought Laila in and put her in her bassinet. She was knocked out. I put on my night gown and crawled into bed. I laid there for a few minutes just staring up at the ceiling. I couldn’t get how I’d just made a fool of myself out of my head. Realizing that sleep wasn’t going
to come anytime soon, I threw the covers back and began searching for my laptop. I figured if I wrote something it would help take my mind off of things. After a few minutes of searching, I remembered that I’d left my laptop in the living room.

             
I opened the bedroom door and peeked my head out into the hallway. It was dark, Tre had turned off all of the lights so I assumed that he’d laid down. Still I wanted my laptop so I walked down the hall trying to be as quiet as possible. When I got in the living room the TV was still on and Tre was sitting up on the sofa drinking something out of a glass. As I was getting my laptop off of the coffee table my eyes fell on the open bottle of Patron sitting next to it. I wondered why he was doing so much drinking because he wasn’t a heavy drinker at all. I didn’t say anything though. I just picked up my laptop and turned to leave.

             
“Lala, can we talk.” Tre asked stopping me in my tracks.

             
I turned and looked at him. “About what? I believe that we’ve said everything that needed to be said. I mean, what would Kisha and Mina think if they knew we were sitting up in here talking and shit.” I snapped. I was hurt and I couldn’t hide that. I didn’t want to.

             
“So that’s how you’re going to act? We can’t sit here and talk like two grown folks? Why can’t you see that I am trying to do what’s right? Aren’t you tired of the drama?” He asked placing his glass on the table. “You deserve a better situation than this…”

             
“Shut up, Tre! Don’t tell me what I deserve! Don’t you dare try that bullshit with me! What could be better than being with the father of my kids, the man that I love?” I yelled at him, my voice cracked and I paused for a moment. “What could be better than being with the man that makes me happy and who puts a smile on my face just by walking into a room? Yes things started out in a fucked up way but now we have the chance to do this the right way.” Tears rolled down my cheeks.

             
He got up and walked over to where I was standing. He took my laptop from my hands and placed it back on the table. He wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t cry…man I hate seeing you cry.” I tried to push him away because I didn’t want his pity hug. I wanted him to tell me that we could give us a try. “Stop fighting me and chill. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to hurt you. I swear, I’m not.”

             
I looked up at him. “How else am I supposed to feel? I feel like you are just giving me a bunch of whack ass excuses instead of keeping shit 100 with me. Just say that you don’t want to be with me! Say that you aren’t feeling me in that way! Say that I’m not…” He leaned down and covered my mouth with his cutting my words off. He kissed me hungrily. At first I resisted and tried to push him away but he had his hand on the back of my head holding it in place so that I couldn’t move. I reluctantly gave in and kissed him back. We kissed for what felt like minutes. My tears continued to fall because I felt like he was only kissing me because he’d been drinking but I didn’t want him to stop. He scooped me up in his arms without breaking our kiss and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me over to the sofa and sat down so that I was sitting on his lap. He released my lips and kissed a trail down my chin to my neck. I let my head fall back and enjoyed the feel of his lips on my neck. He kissed, licked, sucked and nibbled on my neck. At the same time he lifted my gown above my head. His kisses trail lower until his lips were on my breasts.