Sidelines (Wounded Hearts #1) (22 page)

“Aww, Allie. You’re gonna make this old man all weepy-eyed. I miss ya, kid.”

A lump settles in the back of my throat, all the emotions of the day swirling together and hitting me like a linebacker. The anger and bitterness, followed by the gentle mercy and grace given by the entire Lassiter family. Then add in the sisterly girl time and now all the affection from Logan. It’s a wonder I’m not on a flight home to wallow in my own self pity with a pint of double fudge brownie ice cream and my favorite sweats.

“I miss you, too. So listen, I should be done in a couple of weeks. I think we need to make a trip out to the beach. Pack up a few sandwiches and the old fishing poles.”

“I think that sounds like a fine idea. I’ll look forward to it.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Allie, you know if there’s something you want to talk about, I can turn down my hearing aid and pretend that I’m a good listener.”

A garbled laugh gets hung up on that lump.

“I’m okay. I promise.”

“You know, it’s okay to not be okay, kiddo.”

Unexpected tears fight to the corners of my eyes. Blowing out a hard breath between my lips, I fight to shake off the emotions running wild within.

“No, everything really is okay. I’m just missing home a bit, that’s all. I love you, old man.”

“I love you too, kiddo. Listen, I’m starting to get a little worried about you. You’ve been all over the country, at this for quite some time now, and you’ve never called home quite like this before. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Movement behind me makes me jump, but when I turn I find Logan trying to look inconspicuous in checking on me.

“Yeah, Walt. I promise I’m okay. I’ll talk to you in the morning, alright?”

“Sure thing, Allie Cat. I love you, kiddo.”

“I love you, too. Goodnight.”

Before I can re-pocket the phone and get my bearings again, Logan is less than a yard away.

“Everything okay?”

“Everything is great.”

His eyes watch me, like a cat trying to calculate his next move. Trying to get the upper hand, I pounce first.

“Listen, I need to be honest with you. I know these are your people, and you trust them and all, but I need you to back down.”

“Back down,” he smoothly repeats.

“Yes.”

When he takes a step forward, I take a step back.

“Logan. I need you to understand I’m trying to be a professional here. I don’t want to upset our working relationship. The subtle touches and the personal bubble bursting, I need you to stop.”

He stares, his eyes darting over my features, his mind clearly trying to figure out how far he’s already pushed.

“Do you want to go back to the ranch?”

Surprisingly, I fear he will whisk us back to his sanctuary without thinking twice. Standing next to the old building along Main Street, Walker, Texas, I feel the walls of the ranch house closing in on me.

“No. I want to go back in there and enjoy an evening out with you and your family. I want to watch you interact with the great people in your community. I want to watch fireworks after dark, and despite the fact that just thinking about it makes me want to throw up, I want to show off my two-stepping skills at some point tonight.”

Logan fights a smile as he holds out a hand for me. “I’m sorry.”

I shake his outstretched hand in a truce. “It’s okay.”

He lets go of my hand and eyes me for a second, a question lingering in his eyes. After a second, he shakes it away and shoves his hands in his pockets. He turns to allow me to lead the way back into the tent, but the whole way back, I try to sort out the craziness that is going on in my head.

Chapter Nineteen

“I didn’t know what you’d like so I just got you a little of everything I love.” Lucy grins as she scoops a spoonful of cherries jubilee into her mouth.

“Thank you.”

“It’s almost time.” Jillian rubs a hand over her husband’s shoulder and he gazes at her lovingly.

“Time for what?” I look up at Logan, a pang of fear stabbing at my sweet tooth. He only grins at my alarm.

“The dance.”

Despair gurgles up and settles in the back of my throat, only promising to disappear once the dance is over with. 

“Not that dance. Relax,” Logan says quietly, thankfully from the comfort of his own personal space. Relief crashes over me like a water balloon and Lucy giggles.

“Yet, anyway. You are going to get out there tonight, aren’t you?”

“Why don’t you wanna dance, Mooreland?” Drew asks from across the table. Since we’ve returned, he’s watched every move Logan and I have made.

“I’m a terrible dancer.”

“No, you’re not,” Sam tries to console me, but when Owen gives him a questioning look, he changes his tune. “When you have the right partner.” He grins mischievously at Logan who clears his throat before glancing apologetically at me.

“Oh, I missed something good, didn’t I?” Drew rubs his palms together playfully.

“Definitely not something good,” Owen groans, earning himself a round of chuckles from the rest of us.

“It’s a miracle poor Owen has feeling in his toes today.” I try to appear apologetic but Owen, being the gentleman he is, brushes it off.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

Emma grins appreciatively at her suitor as the band finishes up their last cover, and Mayor Havenstead takes the stage again.

“Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time to brush off those old dancin’ shoes. If y’all will take your places we’ll kick this celebration off the proper way.”

The Lassiter clan, sans Drew, stand as one and excuses themselves from the table. As Logan pushes in his chair, our eyes meet.

“You going to be okay for a few?”

I glance at Drew who is trying to be discreet in his observing us, but is doing a terrible job at it.

“I’ll be fine. Go do your thing.”

He nods solemnly and holds his arm out for Lucy. It’s then that I notice Carter is still sitting with Drew and me.

“You’re not square dancing, Carter?”

“Oh no. It’s not really my thing.” He watches everyone take their places on the dance floor with horror etched all over his face. Grinning, I turn to find Drew watching me curiously.

“What about you? Not your thing, either?”

He slowly shakes his head. “Nah, I’m odd man out since Townsend wriggled his way into my sister’s heart.”

We watch each other, unspoken questions drifting between us. I fight the urge to bombard him with the questions that have lingered in the back of my mind since Logan told me his side of the story. Judging by the amount of attention he has been giving his brother and me so far tonight, I’m guessing his questions have to do with what is going on between us.

Well that makes two of us, pal.

A fiddle clangs in the speakers, pulling my attention back to the dance floor where I find Logan watching me intently. Even as he starts to move, he glances at his brother, clearly over assessing the nothingness that just went down between Drew and I. I sigh in frustration, knowing that when he returns to the table, he’ll be locked up and grumpy once again. The caller, a man I don’t recognize, starts chanting off the instructions and I let myself get distracted by watching the couples follow his lead. It’s rather adorable watching Logan get into the folk dance with his tiny little sister. When they have to lift their arms and let the other couples parade between them, poor Lucy has to dance on her tip toes. Sometime in the dance, Logan lets himself get lost in the performance and by the time it’s done, he’s all smiles with a glowing complexion. The look is dazzling on him.

“That was incredible. I have no idea how you understood a thing he said.”

He turns his grin my way and it takes my breath away.

“It’s definitely a learned skill.” He reaches around me for his glass of water, brushing my arm in the process. Although I told him not twenty minutes ago that I needed him to stay out of my personal space, I’m surprised to find myself shifting to get closer. When he stands back up, a yearning swallows up the depths of his eyes. He gets his drink and places the cup back on the table without taking his eyes off me.

“What?” I ask, both afraid of what might come out of his mouth and relieved with what won’t.

“Come on. There’s someone I’d like you to meet.” Taking my hand, we weave in between the tables, heading away from the floor. His eyes dart around until I see recognition and an almost giddy smile cross his face. When he slows at a table with a couple of older couples chatting amicably, a nervous tick starts in my chest. One of the gentleman looks up, pure delight illuminating his face when he catches Logan waiting patiently to interrupt.

“Logan!” The man stands, meeting Logan’s height dead on. His toned arms and trim waist sells the fact he’s a man who takes care of himself. The gray peppering his temples gives his middle age away, but the boisterous tone in his voice gives light to a lively spirit. “How you doin’, man?”

“I’m well, Coach. How are you?”

The older man glances my way but looks back to Logan and smiles even brighter and rubs his belly. “I’m full, the night is young and I hear there are fireworks after this shindig, so I can’t really complain.”

Logan actually laughs at the jovial man and his joy makes me chuckle with glee. Logan glances back and his smile, if possible, actually gets bigger.

“Well, I’m sorry to interrupt your evening but—”

The coach shakes his apology off and sticks out his hand. “You must be the lovely Allie Mooreland. I was wondering when Lassiter would finally bring you around.”

“Allie, this is Coach Ryan. He coaches for the Rangers.”

Realization dawns on me, stunning me speechless.

“It’s good to finally meet you.” Coach pumps my hand as I just gape at him.

“You too,” I manage to muster. Logan smirks at me before turning back to his high school coach.

“Listen, Coach. I was hoping Allie and I could swing by your office sometime in the next week or two. I know Allie has a few questions for you and I thought we could show her around the campus?”

Coach Ryan places his hands on his hips and nods like this is the best idea he’s ever heard. “Yeah, of course. We start conditioning next week. You know we’d love to have you come out and work with some of the boys. I’m sure it would motivate a few of them to show up anyhow.”

Logan’s bashful smile pulls me out of my funk. I nudge him to encourage him to accept the coach’s invitation. It may not make national news, but it could make a world of difference in a couple of high school boys’ lives and I know that is the sort of thing that Logan could get behind. He purses his lips and turns back to the coach.

“I’ll see what I can manage.”

“That’s great, son. I’ll look forward to seeing you two then.” The coach gives us both a big grin and I finally find some words.

“It was nice to finally meet you, Coach.”

“You too, Allie.”

Logan takes up my hand again after he says his goodnights and I can’t help the giddiness bubbling up inside.

“That’s your high school coach.”

“That would be him.” He gives me the side-eye like my revelation is no big deal.

“You just introduced me to your high school coach. And you’re going to let me ask him questions.”

Logan pulls us to the edge of the tent and stops to face me. He’s masked his emotions, but I can tell he’s still riding the high of his square dance.

“Is it really that big of a deal to you?”

My jaw nearly hits the floor. “I’m totally confident that had there not been a storm that damaged your parents’ barn the night I arrived, and had I not insisted on you taking me over to help with the clean up, I still wouldn’t know who they are.”

He fidgets with his hat a moment before replacing it on his head.

“That’s not entirely true.”

Raising my brows, I cross my arms to wait out his admitting to just lying to me.

“They would have beaten down your door by now.”

I smile, because we both know it’s true. “But you wouldn’t have introduced me until it was absolutely necessary.”

“For their own safety.” He sobers.

“Because you think I’m dangerous.”

“When you’re trying to dance, yes.” He smirks.

I smack his chest and with wicked fast reflexes he grabs my hand.  The air around us shifts and that look is back in his eyes again.

“You ready to show these folks the right way to dance?” he asks, his voice a bit huskier than normal. The way his thumb trails over the soft skin above my wrist mixes with his voice hypnotizing me. I barely have time to nod before he turns to lead me to the dance floor. With every step we take, I feel myself come out of my haze. The second he takes me in his arms, reality hits me and fear consumes me, causing my muscles to stiffen and my arms and knees to lock up.

“Relax, Allie. I’ve got you.” And when he makes his move, I find my body instinctively move too. I try to keep the fog out of my head and away from muddling up the steps by staying in the moment and letting myself feel the music. The Muddy River Buddy Boys are back at their covers of popular country songs, but the lyrics are lost on me as Logan glides me round the floor.

“What are you thinking about right now?” His question takes me out of the happy place I’ve allowed myself to go and back to the reality around us.

“Don’t step on his toes,” I admit shamelessly. My honesty earns me a chuckle.

“You’re not going to step on my toes. I’m too quick to let you.” He winks and I seriously miss a step. Grinning, he shakes his head. “Testing me, are you?”

“Uh huh.” Everything in me is screaming that we’re once again too close. I seriously need to distance myself, but my brain won’t tell my hands to let go of him. A very scared voice in the back of head might be shouting for me to stop this dance right now, but my heart wants to keep at it all night long.

“I really am sorry for earlier.” Logan’s tender timbre drowns out the mental debate in my head.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it really isn’t. You were right, we need to keep our relationship professional…” His eyes dart over the features of my face, searching for something.

“I feel a
but
coming.”

He swallows and looks out at the tables of people watching the floor. When he looks back at me the intensity in his eyes nearly causes me to stop. The music fades as they end one song and slip into the next, slower tune. I recognize the Old Dominion song Lucy fawned over while we were getting ready this afternoon. The steady voice pleads to his love that they dance one last dance, focusing on all the classic ballads instead of the fact that very soon she’ll be gone and they’ll be left with nothing but what ifs.

“But I don’t want to.”

His words cause me to stumble again and this time he moves us to the middle of the group, getting lost in the other couples swirling and twirling around us. His grasp on me tightens as if he can sense my need to run.

“Allie, I don’t know what it is about you, but I just can’t seem to get you out of my head.”

The atmosphere around us thickens, making it hard for me to breathe.

“This…you shouldn’t be saying things like this.”

“I know. I know I shouldn’t, but.” He sighs and I feel it coming. All the pent up tension we’ve been trying to outmaneuver. The blitz of emotions we’re unprepared to block. His hands meet my chin and his head tilts to meet mine. And then someone bumps him from the side. When we both turn our head as if in a daze, a smug looking Cody Gentry spins his dance partner.

I step back, and turn, nearly crashing into other dancers, but manage to fight my way through the crowd and back to the table. Without answering the questioning looks from the senior Lassiters and Drew, I pick up my own glass of watered-down sweet tea and down the last of the contents. I don’t have to look up to know when Logan rejoins us but we unleashed something out on that floor and it’s roaring like a hungry beast between us. I’d bet good money that everyone around us can feel it too.

“Get your toes stepped on out here, little brother?” Drew sounds playful and the look on his face seems innocent enough. But Logan sits back in his chair and lets out a long, soft exhale.

“Something like that.”

***

I cling to Lucy like she’s a life preserver until the last of the fireworks fizzle in the sky. I think I wedged myself into making Carter feel like a third wheel, but I can’t be ashamed of myself for it. I needed her, not just as a barrier between me and her brother, but as an accountability partner to myself. I promised myself long ago that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt me ever again, and although I don’t expect Logan to personally hurt me, I know that nothing good can come from allowing myself to fall for him even in the slightest.