Signs of Love (8 page)

CHAPTER SEVEN

Alana was thankful for all the years of practice she had at managing her facial expressions. She'd learned to smile and be social even when every inch of her body pulsed with pain. It had taken her awhile to figure out that Craig had wanted a certain reaction from her. At first, she'd tried to keep from crying—tried to present him with a strong front—but that had only seemed to infuriate him even more. He usually stopped when she was a crumpled weeping ball on the floor. And once she realized that was what he wanted, she made sure to get to that point as soon as she could without raising his suspicions that she was manipulating him.

Unfortunately, she had a hard time reading Justin, which made her a little uneasy. Twice now she'd figured him wrong. That was bad enough, but it was Caden's reaction to him that had her more concerned. She had no idea what exactly it was that had drawn him to Justin, but she had a feeling it had something to do with all the muscles, guns and macho-ness that made up Justin Morrell. Of course, added to that was the fact that Justin actually paid attention to him which no doubt made him rate pretty high in Caden's opinion.

Unfortunately, Caden wasn't the only one who was drawn to the man. Even though their own interactions had been a bit rocky, seeing how Justin was with Caden offset that for Alana. The way he'd looked right at Caden when replying—even though she had to translate—meant a lot to her.

So often people would look at her when answering since they knew she'd have to sign it for Caden. But Justin had looked right at her son and answered his question. The first time he'd done it, she'd wanted to thank him, and when he'd done it the second time she'd just about hugged him. He'd shown respect for Caden and that meant the world to her. It was almost enough to make her forgive him for what had happened on Saturday.

"Why don't we get this cleared up, and we can have a lesson while we eat dessert," Beth suggested.

Alana signed for Caden to help collect the plates. She could tell that he didn't want to but as soon as Justin stood up and started to help, Caden's reluctance disappeared. He moved around the table stacking the plates, his gaze on Justin. When the table had been cleared, Justin turned to Caden and held out his fist, knuckles up. With a wide grin, Caden made a fist and bumped it against Justin's. The man might not know sign language, but he definitely knew how to communicate with her son.

Dessert was an assortment of homemade cookies and brownies. Thrilled to be able to indulge her sweet tooth, Alana ate more than she probably should have, but they were just that good. Partway through, Genevieve began to get restless so when Beth took her out of the high chair, Alana asked Caden to go play with her for a bit.

She felt Justin's gaze on her as she went through a few signs. Beth and Daniel were quick to imitate her motions, but Justin just watched. His dark blue eyes tracked her every movement, but his face didn't give away what was going on in his mind.

"C'mon, Justin," Beth said. "You need to practice the signs or you won't remember them."

His gaze flicked to Beth before looking back at Alana. "I'll remember them."

Alana shifted on the padded cushion of the chair she sat on, her hands in her lap. It was one thing for him to watch her while she was showing them signs but quite another when she wasn't doing anything. She could feel warmth spreading across her skin as she wondered what he saw when he looked at her.

It had been a long time since she'd really made much of an effort with her appearance. She couldn't remember the last time she'd had a haircut. The mass of curls nearly reached her waist if she left it down—which she rarely did. There had been no money in the budget for makeup and the lotions she'd once used, so she'd settled for a very basic skincare routine and left off the makeup.

Up until this point, she hadn't cared what people—men in particular—thought of her appearance. And she needed to keep that mindset. Wondering what Justin might think of how she looked was heading down a dangerous road. One that would, no doubt, lead to hurt. Even if she didn't have the past she had, Justin didn't strike her as the type of man interested in marriage and a family of his own. And she wasn't the type to get involved with a man just because he was attractive.

Because, man, if she didn't find Justin just a teeny, tiny bit attractive.

After what had happened with Craig, Alana never thought she'd be attracted to a  man who had the same focus on building muscles as her ex. All it had taken was for Justin to be nice to her son and she was ready to ignore everything else.
Stupid.
Yeah, that's what she was.
Stupid.
She needed to pull her focus back to the reason she was there and ignore the muscled man sitting across the table from her. 

"Can I give you and Caden a ride home?" Justin asked when they had finished their lesson for the evening.

It was tempting—oh, so tempting—but given how her emotions and thoughts were already running, taking him up on his offer would definitely be the wrong move right then. "Thanks, but we're fine."

"Are you sure? It's no trouble," Justin said, his head bent as he looked down at her, his gaze intent.

"I'm sure." Alana was glad right then that Caden couldn't hear their conversation. No doubt he would have been trying to convince her to reconsider. He liked Justin's truck almost as much as he liked Justin.

Apparently Justin realized she wasn't going to change her mind, so he straightened and stepped back. After saying good-bye to Caden and Genevieve, he gave Beth a hug, shook Daniel's hand and left.

Once he was gone, Alana got Caden's attention and signed that they were leaving. As he guided Genevieve to pick up the blocks they'd been playing with, Alana helped Beth clean up in the kitchen.

"I'm glad Justin agreed to learn sign language with us," Beth said as she put the leftovers into a plastic container.  "I figured he would come around once he had some time to adjust to the idea."

Alana put the glasses into the dishwasher. "He does realize he'll actually have to use his hands at some point, right?"

"Yeah." Beth smiled. "This is just how he processes stuff. He studies things to get a grasp on them before jumping into anything." Her expression turned serious as she looked at Alana. "He told me about what went down on Saturday."

Alana couldn't help but lift a brow at her revelation. "Really?"

Beth nodded. "I'm really sorry about what happened. I should have known he'd do something like that. He's been responsible for me since I was thirteen and he was just twenty-three. It's a hard habit for him to break."

"I'm not sure why he thought I was a threat."

"Justin suspects the worst of pretty much everyone. He even felt that way about Daniel, and he works for the FBI." Beth gave her a rueful smile. "I hope you won't hold it against him too much. He was thinking of me and Genevieve and made a mistake. He knows that now."

Alana nodded. "Did he tell you about what he found when he did the search on me?"

Beth shook her head. "I didn't ask, and he didn't volunteer. I figure if you want me to know anything, you'll tell me."

"And Daniel?"

Beth shrugged. "I don't know what he knows either. Maybe it seems naive or like I have my head stuck in the sand, but I know that with those two in my life, I'll be safe. If either of them were truly concerned, they would have said something."

Alana wondered what that must be like. For Beth to be so confident of Daniel and Justin's ability to keep her safe. She had a feeling either man would lay down their life for Beth and Genevieve. There had never been anyone in her life who would have done that for her and Caden. Her heart clenched at the thought.

It wasn't her role to be protected. It was her role to protect, and she would do it until her very last breath. She swallowed and straightened her shoulders, giving Beth a smile. "No harm done."

"He really is a good man. Just a little intense at times. He was always a bit that way, but after the majority of our family was murdered, he took it to an all-new level."

Alana felt her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Murdered?"

"Yeah. We were all out at our family cabin—well, except for Justin and our cousin Marcus. Justin was in Afghanistan, and Marcus was here at his business."

Sensing this was a difficult thing for Beth to talk about, Alana held up her hand. "You don't have to tell me."

Beth lifted a shoulder. "I just want you to understand why Justin is so protective of me. My uncle—Marcus’s dad—went completely nuts and shot all the family members that were at the cabin."

"Except you?"

"Me and my cousin, Meredith. We were up in the attic talking about boys and stuff like that. When we heard the noise, we actually thought it was firecrackers or a movie. We came downstairs to see what was going on and walked into the room in time to see my uncle kill himself."

Alana covered her mouth with her hand. Though she'd known it was only Beth and Justin, she hadn't imagined the circumstances under which her friend had lost the rest of her family. "I would never have guessed."

"Lots of counseling helped. I've been able to deal with it a lot better than my cousin. I suppose that was because in addition to seeing her father kill himself, she also lost her twin brother. "

Well, if nothing else, Beth's revelation explained so much about Justin and what he'd done. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks. It was an absolutely horrible time, but thankfully I had Justin and friends at church who helped us out. It wasn't easy for Justin to step into the parent role either. The military discharged him so he could take care of me. Thankfully, Marcus gave him a job at BlackThorpe. More than anyone, Marcus understood when Justin needed time off. I mean, Marcus was dealing with the same thing with his own sister." Beth ran water over a cloth and wrung it out before gliding it across the counter. "Sometimes I feel like I've worked through it better than Justin. He really doesn't seem to have much of a life outside his job or any friends. And after he broke up with his last girlfriend over a year ago, he's never bothered to see anyone else. At least, not that I'm aware of. That was one of the reasons I worried about telling him about Genevieve's diagnosis. I had a good idea of how he'd react and, sure enough, that's pretty much how it's gone down."

"It seems he's coming around now," Alana said. "I think you and Genevieve are too important for him to not get on board."

Beth nodded. "I hope so. I just keep praying that he'll get to the point where he can relax and enjoy life."

Alana understood the responsibility Justin felt with regards to Beth. It was similar to what she felt for Caden. He had no one else to take care of him, so it fell on her shoulders. It was hard to not have it consume her life, and she didn't have the added pressure of trying to help him through such a traumatic event like Justin had with Beth. She guessed the difference in how they'd responded to that responsibility was that she was determined to give Caden as much of a "normal" childhood as she could in spite of everything.

"It's interesting," Beth began as she continued to wipe down the counter, "that even though Justin has always said he didn't want children, he seems to be most at ease with them. First it was with Genevieve and then tonight seeing him smile at Caden did my heart good. There may be hope for him yet."

Alana lifted a couple of containers so Beth could wipe underneath them. "I'm afraid Caden has developed a bit of hero worship for your brother."

Beth's brow furrowed. "I hope you don't think that's a bad thing. He really is a good man. He would never do anything to hurt Caden."

Despite having her own negative thoughts toward the man, Alana found that she believed Beth when it came to her son. "I just hope Caden doesn't annoy him."

"Though it may not be obvious, Justin has endless patience. I sincerely doubt that Caden could do anything to bother him." Beth pushed two plastic containers with food in them toward her. "Can you guys make use of these leftovers? I doubt they'll get eaten here. I made way too much food this time around."

"Oh, I'm sure we could. It was delicious. Are you sure?"

Beth pulled out a plastic bag and put the containers in it and held the handles toward Alana. "I'm sure. If it stays here, I'll just end up throwing it out, and that's just wasteful."

"Thank you. I'll bring the containers back the next time we come over."