SilverMoonLight (SilverMoonSaga Book 1) (20 page)

I
thought about Calum’s desperate embrace and a shudder ran down my spine. What
had I been feeling? It wasn’t fear, even though that would probably have been
the most sensible response.

»Amelie,
it’s complicated. I can’t explain it to you. But Ethan was right; it wouldn’t
have worked out between Calum and me. It was better to end it.«

She
stared at me uncomprehendingly. »What are you talking about? You would have
been so good together, and let’s be honest, Calum is every step-mother’s
dream—good-looking, intelligent, sensitive. Need I go on?«

»No,
please don’t,« I couldn’t help but laugh. »Let’s go to the kitchen and get
something to eat, I’m hungry,« I said, trying to distract her.

The
next morning, I was overwhelmed by one thought only: It was inconceivable that
I could go to school today and run into Calum. I couldn’t possibly look him in
the eyes.

Luckily,
Bree and Ethan had left early that morning. »Amelie, I’ve got a really bad
headache,« I said as we were eating our muesli. »I can’t go to school today.
Would you be able to tell them I’m sick, please?«

I
could tell she wasn’t fooled by my story, but she nodded and headed off by
herself nonetheless.

I
lay back down in bed, but found myself unable to go back to sleep. So I fetched
my book from the desk and started to read. Sophie had given me
A Midsummer
Night’s Dream
a while back, and so far I hadn’t gotten around to reading
it. Soon after I started, I realized it was about unrequited love. I had hoped
that the slim volume would entertain and distract me, but after the first few
lines I knew better.

With
cunning hast thou filch’d my daughter’s heart,
Turn’d her obedience, which is due to me,
To stubborn harshness

I
hesitated. Should I read on? Yet another story about forbidden love, and—irony
of all ironies—one with elves too! I was tempted to throw the book at the wall,
but I read on. Would Hermia get her Lysander despite her father having
forbidden it? A happy ending might cheer me up.

Then
let us teach our trial patience,
Because it is a customary cross,
As due to love as thoughts and dreams and sighs,
Wishes and tears, poor fancy’s followers.

Were
love and suffering really so inextricably linked? Well, in books perhaps.

Hermia
had responded bravely to the test, but I had been a coward, running away
instead of facing up to it. I couldn’t bring myself to read on. Not yet, at
least.

I
thought about Calum’s embrace. Why had he run after me, why had he apologized?
Surely, he must hate me after how I had treated him. Sighing, I stood up and
got dressed.
Poor fancy’s followers.
That hit the nail on the head.

I
decided to go for a walk. Luckily it wasn’t raining for once, and a few beams
of sunlight had even managed to fight their way through the blanket of cloud. But
I still decided to put on a warm coat.

I
fetched an apple from the kitchen and drank a glass of milk. My appetite had
all but vanished over the last few weeks, much to the concern of Bree, who
tried to tempt me with new treats every day.

I
stepped outside, then ran back into my room and stashed the book I had so
quickly discarded into my coat pocket. My stupidity wasn’t Shakespeare’s fault.
Perhaps I would find a dry spot somewhere to settle down and read.

I
walked and walked without thinking about where I was headed, then found myself
at the edge of the woods. I had never been here alone, only ever with Calum. I
followed the path, going more slowly now. As I walked, the tension fell away
from me. The sunlight was peeping through the thick ceiling of leaves,
conjuring up specks of light on the moss-covered ground. It was beautiful, and
so quiet. It didn’t take me long to reach our clearing, where I sat down on the
warm grass and leant my back against a rock. The trees all around me had
transformed to motley shades, and the lake was covered with yellow and red
leaves. The sun shone directly onto my face, caressing my skin.

I
pulled the apple and book from my bag and immersed myself in the text again. I
suffered along with Hermia and marveled at her courage in fleeing with
Lysander. I was disgusted by Demetrius and how badly he treated Helena. How
could she let him do it? Why did she throw herself at him like that?

With
a sigh, I closed my eyes and tilted my face up into the sun.

I
must have fallen asleep, for when I woke up again, the sun had moved on and I
was cold. Deciding that it would be best to go back, I stood up, stashed the
book away, and gave the lake a wistful glance. I had always been happy here.

When
I turned around to go, something moved between the trees. I jumped in fright,
then realized who it was. Calum. He came towards me, almost hesitantly.

I
looked at him in surprise. »What are you doing here?«

»I
should be asking you the same thing. Are you crazy, going into the woods all by
yourself?«

»I
don’t think that’s any of your business,« I retorted, determined to ignore the
hostile tone of his voice.

It
was clear from his expression how torn he felt between conflicting emotions. I
found myself longing to reach out and touch his cheek.

»I
wondered where you were when you didn’t come to school. I wanted to talk to you
about yesterday.« His voice was softer now, and he was looking at me
attentively.

»Don’t
worry about it,« I mumbled. »You were right, there was never anything serious
between us. It was silly of me to run away like that.«

»It
was serious for me,« he said. »I feel ill if I can’t at least see you.«

I
looked at him in disbelief.

»Why
are you saying that?« I asked, unable to stop my voice from sounding hoarse.

»You
have no idea about my feelings for you, Emma,« he said simply.

I
shook my head in confusion. Was I dreaming? If I was, this must be one of my
more realistic ones.

He
took a step towards me and pulled me close to him. His soft voice whispered
into my ear, barely audible and yet completely clear at the same time:

»I
can’t bear this any longer. I long for you, every hour of every day. It’s so
hard to stay away from you. I’ve tried, but I just don’t have the strength
anymore. I would never do anything to hurt you. I would rather die than hurt
you, or let someone else hurt you.«

I
leaned my forehead against his chest, breathing in deeply.

»There’s
no reason for you to be afraid of me.« But his voice sounded resigned to my
inevitable fear.

I
shook my head.

»I’m
sorry I acted so stupidly,« I continued. »I missed you so much, but I didn’t
know what to do. I didn’t have the courage to go and see you again, I was
afraid that you didn’t want me anymore. You seemed so distant.«

He
pulled me closer to him without saying a word. I put my arms around him.

»I
didn’t mean to react like that,« I said, trying to explain. »I was afraid. I
knew all the stories from my mother. Even as a child I was afraid of the
shellycoats, even though for me they were just fairytales back then. Never in
my wildest dreams would I have thought they really existed. All these weeks
I’ve longed for you so much. I didn’t know what to do, whether you could
forgive me,« I blurted out.

Calum
remained silent, stroking his lips gently along my cheek.

»Can
you forgive me?« The words tip-toed hesitantly across my lips.

He
lifted my chin with his finger, forcing me to look at him. Those eyes, the
outrageously blue eyes I had fallen in love with from the very first moment. He
stroked a finger across my lips. I closed my eyes. Gently, his lips glided
across my eyelids, my cheeks. I forgot to breathe. Finally, he kissed me. My
lips opened and I passionately returned his kiss, all of my longing suddenly
unleashed.

When
we stopped, Calum was smiling at me in amusement. »That was supposed to be a
cautious, tender first kiss.«

Feeling
myself blush, I laid my head against his chest.

»I
had to wait too long for it.«

He
kissed me again, this time until I felt dizzy. Breathless, I freed myself from
his embrace and took a step back. He let me go at once.

»Emma,
I don’t want to do anything that you don’t want.«

I
reached for his arms again and snuggled up against him.

»It’s
fine, don’t pay any attention to me.«

He
laughed softly. This time, when his lips touched mine, it was completely gentle
and tender, just a soft caress.

»Better?«
he whispered.

»Not
really,« I whispered back, wrapping my arms around his neck.

»Hmmmm,«
he murmured, shaking his head softly. Hearing his wonderfully gentle laugh, I
wished that he never had to let me go again.

But
at some point he did, sitting down on the grass and pulling me onto his lap.

»It
was so much smarter of you to keep away from me,« he said, breaking our
silence.

»I
think it might be too late for that now. Or could you still do it?«

»It
broke my heart last time.«

»Well,
you certainly found consolation with Valerie,« I said, unable to stop myself
blurting it out. I went bright red.

»Don’t
be silly. That wasn’t consolation, it was just a distraction.«

»Did
it work?«

»Not
in the slightest.«

»So
what do we do now?« I asked, in between his kisses.

»I
don’t know.«

»Isn’t
there any chance? There must be some way we can stay together. I never want to
lose you again, I wouldn’t be able to bear it this time,« I said.

The
tumult of emotions was too much for me and tears started to roll down my
cheeks. Calum held me tightly. I don’t know how long we sat there like that.
Time lost all meaning. He was with me, and nothing was more important than
that. He stroked my hair and kissed my tears away.

»I
love you,« he whispered into my ear. »I would do anything to stay with you
forever.«

I
took a deep breath, not knowing what to say in response.

»What
are you thinking about?« he asked, stroking his finger over my lips and down my
neck.

»I’ll
release you from the spell,« I promised, »like in the fairytales.«

As
a little girl, I had loved fairytales. Usually, all the princess had to do to
release her prince was climb over seven mountains and cross seven seas, then
there would be a happy ending. If the princess didn’t die, that was. Surely, it
couldn’t be that difficult nowadays.

»This
isn’t a fairytale, Emma,« he replied, his answer full of regret. »And it’s okay
if you’re afraid of what I am. My world is so different from yours. You saw
what happened to Maria. She crossed a line and was punished, but she didn’t
have a clue what she was doing.« The regret in his voice had intensified.

I
thought back to the terrible expression in Maria’s eyes. It had been pure fear.

»Is
that why you stood in front of my tent? Because you knew it was dangerous to be
outside that night?«

He
nodded. »You heard the noise and it woke you. There were watermen swimming out
there that night. Our holy source is in Loch Ness—our goddess created the
shellycoat clan there. In order to keep your people away from the lake, we
invented the legend of Nessie centuries ago. Now and then, we would make sure
that someone ‘saw’ the monster to keep the story alive. But we stopped when we
realized it was luring people there rather than scaring them away. In our
society, it’s unpardonable for a human being to go close to the source at
night. Maria did that and was punished, even though she didn’t realize what she
was doing. She was intentionally lured to the spot, and I think I know who did
it.« He punched his hand into the grass. »I should have stopped it from
happening, but I was too late. I was so worried about you.«

I
shook my head in disbelief. »But why did she have to die? That’s terrible.«

»You
can send me away if you’re scared.«

He
looked at me as if he hoped I would. But at the same time he held me tightly,
as if he had to make sure I stayed with him.

»You
couldn’t ever be dangerous to me,« I answered in a trembling voice.

»I
couldn’t, no, but my people could. Every time I’m alone with you, every time I
touch you, the danger grows.«

I
looked at him questioningly.

He
looked away for a moment and sighed. »We live very differently from you. The
wellbeing of the clan is the most important thing, not that of the individual.
Do you understand?«

I
nodded slowly. But what could be bad about our love? How could it possibly hurt
his people?