Since My Last Confession: A Gay Catholic Memoir (22 page)

A. No. Some of the passages of the Bible are not to be understood according to our modern manner of expression, since they contain certain figures of speech, parables, and literary forms used by the people of ancient times but not employed in the present.

No one has adequately explained why some passages (advocating slavery or headscarves for women in church) should be ignored, while others, allegedly antigay, should carry weight.

2. Procreation does not adequately or essentially distinguish hetero sexual from homosexual love.

Heterosexual couples, including the elderly, can marry, and their sexual union is blessed even though they cannot procreate. Sex expressly intended to be nonprocreative is permitted; we call it the rhythm method. It’s hard to credit a reason as rational if it’s applied selectively.

Besides, for God anything is possible: conception in a gay couple is at least as probable as a virgin birth. Lord knows that Scott and I are going to keep on trying in hopes the Holy Spirit blesses us with a child.

3. The Church’s teaching has been anything but “constant.”

The idea of teaching that cannot change is itself a heresy known as scotosis — the deliberate and willful darkening of the mind that results from refusal to acknowledge God’s presence and power at work. It suggests that the Holy Spirit no longer moves in the hearts of men, and that the Spirit is now merely resting on Its heavenly laurels.

The notion that the Church has never changed teachings is a patent absurdity. Early in his papacy, for example, B16 abolished limbo, the place where unbaptized babies had been consigned theretofore. The Immaculate Conception and the Assumption of Mary became articles of faith in the nineteenth century. Marriage only became a sacrament in the twelfth century. Saint Augustine invented original sin in the fourth century. The Eucharist only became a central part of the liturgy in the second century, justified post hoc by the Last Supper.

As a letter to the editor in the
San Francisco Chronicle
put it:

Remember that the Church has, at one time or another, condemned heretics to death, supported the practice of human slavery, denied the possibility of salvation to non-Catholics, denounced the American Bill of Rights, and, of course, condemned Galileo for claiming that the Earth moved around the sun. With that in mind, I would suggest… remembering] the immortal words of Oliver Cromwell, “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible you may be mistaken.”

Luckily, Archbishop Sean, you don’t suffer from too much love for constancy in the bowels of Christ: witness your change of heart concerning the Saint Patrick’s Day Corned Beef Debacle.

4. The sin of Sodom isn’t what you think it is.

The Old Testament passages don’t condemn loving same-sex relationships; they condemn the failure to be hospitable to one’s guests. Even the Web site of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops acknowledges this point:

Israelite tradition was unanimous in ascribing the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah to the wickedness of these cities, but tradition varied in regard to the nature of this wickedness. According to the present account of the Yah-wist, the sin of Sodom was homosexuality (Genesis 19:4—5), which is therefore also known as sodomy; but according to Isaiah (Isaiah 1:9—10; 3:9), it was a lack of social justice; Ezekiel (Ezekiel 16:46—51) described it as a disregard for the poor, whereas Jeremiah (Jeremiah 23:14) saw it as general immorality.

Thus, as Nancy L. Wilson, a Metropolitan Community Church bishop, said, “It is the Church, not queer folk, which has been most obviously guilty of the sin of Sodom, refusing hospitality to queer people and offering rejection and violence.”

5. There’s a hierarchy of scriptural imperatives.

According to Vatican II pronouncements, “In Catholic doctrine there exists an order or hierarchy of truths, since they vary in their relation to the foundation of Christian faith,” This makes sense: Christ Himself identified two commandments above all others: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second most important is like it: Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” With this in mind, we can reread those scriptural passages purportedly outlawing homosexual activity not simply in a different light (i.e., the light of modern experience), but also through a lens that recognizes other passages of higher import and greater generality that take precedence over more particular, culturally conditioned passages. Slavery provides a clear example. The Bible condones the “peculiar institution” in many particular passages, but in light of contemporary experience, such passages appear inconsistent with the highest command to love your neighbor as yourself.

I sealed the envelope with a kiss, stamped it, posted it outside the Shrine, and waited impatiently for Archbishop Sean to see the error of his ways.

This is not About You

On the afternoon of Mikaela’s baptism, the everyday human menagerie surrounding the Shrine put Boston’s corporately sponsored gay pride parade to shame for all its variety and wonder. Behold:

• bovine midwestern tourists shying away from dark-skinned youths and the elaborate mating rituals of H&M-bound queens
  

• buskers and con artists
  

• homeless people
  

• religious lunatics
  

• tour guides in colonial-era dress
  

• a protest march of the union of Hispanic workers who clean 99.9 percent of Boston’s office towers
  

• college kids asking whether I had a moment for the environment
  

• political supporters of perennial fringe candidate Lyndon LaRouche
  

• heavyset lesbians intent on getting Fidelity Corporation to divest from Darfur
  

Inside the Shrine, calmness reigned. The slow drip of countless Masses from my youth, the years of witness and worship, ran in my veins. A candle burned. My face flushed. The microphone squawked. Chewbacca laughed. I prepared to slip out of myself and into the text, to obliterate myself for a moment.

A glorious melody from my mouth silenced the street outside. Beautiful phrases flew out, escaping like sparrows. The world stopped turning. The events I narrated came to life around me. Cedar billowed around the altar. An old woman in the second row skipped a whole decade of her rosary, raised her face to the altar, and revealed that she had once been very beautiful.

Each word of the Responsorial Psalms rose and burst, a shower of dandelion seeds scattered by a hard breath. Each verse became an aria capable of shattering glass. Each phrase came out like a silken stream, a mesh of golden threads, numerous as the stars in the sky.

My brother bore Mikaela to the baptismal font. He stared down at her with an all-consuming love, making desperate bargains with the little one —
Don’t you get sick, baby Mikaela. Don’t you leave us. Don’t disappoint
— and simultaneous bargains with the Big Guy —
Watch over the little one, protect her from harm, and, if you fuck with me on this, God, I will chase you down to the ends of the universe and wantonly destroy your creations
.

Thanksgiving, unworthiness, urgency, and awe all filled me at once. Swaddled in clean white linen, daubed with water and chrism, Mikaela wailed and shook her little imperfect fist, inarticulate and full of life.

“Power to the people, little sister Mikaela,” I whispered. No doubt the Spirit would enter here — in that small fist, that big Womanpriest heart, those power lungs.

I whispered to her, “You’re going to need that ferocity, angel. From here on out, it’s a lifetime of forgotten birthdays and hastily wrapped gifts and only the occasional ‘God bless’ before bedtime.”

She bopped me firmly on the chin.

This
is why I’m Catholic.

X

Excommunication ‘R’ Us

Priest: Your Eminence, what are we going to do about all these young people
living together before they get married?

Cardinal Law: If they put down the same address, presume it’s a duplex, and ask
no questions
.

— as related by Walter Cuenin

The Vatican Paperwork-Reduction Program

EAN
M
ARCHANTES SISTERS
, the first Roman Catholic Womenpriests, were ordained on the Danube in 2002. The following year, on the feast of Mary Magdalene, the Vatican formally excommunicated them in a document signed by the Rat, Additional ordinations followed, culminating in a highly publicized ceremony in Pittsburgh in 2006 in which seventeen North American women became womenpriests and womendeacons. At least two American bishops, Timothy Dolan of Milwaukee and Justin “YouTube” Rigali of Philadelphia, announced that they would forward the names of their local womenpriests to the Vatican for disciplinary proceedings. (No one likes a tattletale, and no one likes a copycat, either: the two bishops’ statements read nearly word for word.)

Most American dioceses, including Boston, set out a slightly different message: there was no need to excommunicate the women formally. They were automatically excommunicated (called a
latae sententiae)
by virtue of their actions.

The womanpriest movement continues to grow. Five ordination ceremonies, each involving multiple women, took place in North America alone in 2007. If the Vatican insisted on formally excommunicating each of the renegades, it would have to shanghai poor Reverend Amorth from his busy exorcism schedule and put him to work processing excommunication decrees. And then who would keep an eye on Harry Potter?

A Short Bishop of Excommunication

The first major heretic in the Church, Arius, taught that Jesus, though divine, was not the equal of God the Father. In 325, at the Council of Nicea, over 300 Church leaders condemned Arius’s teachings, declared him a heretic, and excommunicated him.

The practice proved more addictive than YouTube. For the next thousand years, priests dispensed excommunications like breath mints. Apostates, heretics, and schismatics could all apply, of course. But excommunication also resulted from reading forbidden books, belonging to forbidden societies, killing popes and bishops, stealing from the Church — or because you happened to own a property that the local potentate fancied. The potentate paid the local bishop to excommunicate you. You were seized and burned, your family was dispersed, and the local potentate henceforth enjoyed spectacular views from your bedroom window.

In fact, medieval abuse of excommunication helped bring about the Reformation. When the Church addressed certain Protestant critiques at the Council of Trent, voices of reason gently suggested that Church authorities lighten up and save excommunication for truly grave offenses.

Pope Pius X led another bout of excommunications, famously declaring that there ought to be no questions, no subtleties, no opposing of personal rights to [the pope’s] rights, only obedience.” Pope Paul VI ratcheted the temperature down a few notches: he didn’t even censure a single theologian for radical views. In the mid-twentieth century, Pope John XXIII announced, “Today the spouse of Christ [i.e., the Roman Catholic Church] prefers to use the medicine of mercy rather than severity. She considers that she meets the needs of the present age by showing the validity of her teaching rather than by condemnations.”

Pope John XXIIPs flirtation with mercy didn’t last long. No sooner had his corpse and that of his short-lived successor JPl gone cold than J2P2 and B16 retrofitted excommunication with renewed chic. Clip and save the FAQ below in the event of your own excommunication.