Since My Last Confession: A Gay Catholic Memoir (43 page)

Scott and I form a tiny congregation, he and I sitting side by side on our pew. I reach out with that tentative, postfight touch. My fingertips brush his shoulder, and he flinches as if scalded. Then he takes a deep breath, and I gather him in, his head to my shoulder and our arms wrapped around each other, waiting for deliverance on the hardest pew known to man.

Talk about a goddamn leftover miracle. I’d be lying if I told you that I completely understand.

Acknowledgements

ozens
OF PEOPLE ASSISTED ME
in ways large and small in writing this book. In particular, my special thanks to those who shared their stories or introduced me to people who shared stories, including Sherwin Aguilar, Marek Bozek, Gary Buseck, Chuck Colbert, David Convertino, Gary Convertino, Walter Cuenin, Don Currier, Fred Daley, Eileen DiPranco, Marianne Duddy, Austin Fleming, Ann Franczyk, Holly Gunner, Ellen Grund, Joan Houk, Richard landoli, Robert Kickham, Richard Lewandowski, Casey Lopata, Jim Lopata, Mary Ellen Lopata, Gregory Maguire, Jean Marchant, Charles G. Martel, Myron McCormick, Frank McHugh, Brian McNaught, Andy Newman, Jim Nickoloff, Ray Niro, Michael Parisi, Robert Quinan, Joan Rosazza, Victoria Rue, Sal Sapienza, Jon Schum, Diane Sidorow-icz, Brian Smail, Rene Sontag, Jackie Stewart, Ray Struble, John Sullivan, Kathy Vandenburg, Peter Weston, Claire Wilcox, and a host of people who requested that they not be named here for fear of retaliation from the Church hierarchy.

Special thanks also to past and present members of the G-L Spirituality Group, the Hale Marys, and the friars. In different ways, their faith was and is the beacon I follow.

Love and thanks to my mother and father, my three siblings (even those who voted for Bush in 2004), my three godchildren, Gram, Rory, Jezebel, and the rest of the Whittier clan. Their love helps me understand what it means to be loved by God. I am the luckiest person in the world.

To the folks at Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders, Mass Equality, the General Court of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, and all the other heroes of the same-sex marriage fight, I’d like to eat your hearts.

For editing above and beyond the call of duty despite a tragic nasal accident, I owe a huge debt to James Jayo at Arcade. Many thanks!

For their faith in this project and diligence in bringing it to publication, thanks to Ike Williams and Melissa Grella at Kneerim & Williams.

Finally, to my boyfriend, Scott Whittier, for patience and love far beyond the call of duty: I thank you and love you, Koala Bean

Notes

HE EVENTS DESCRIBED HERE
are generally true, but in many cases I have changed names, identifying details, topics of discussion, and the timing of events in order to protect confidentiality and/or for narrative convenience. Friars, priests, lay ministers, and G-L Spirituality Group members are all composites drawn from real people.

Prologue

The quotes from Pastor Bob and Ruben Israel come from “Signs of War at the State House,”
Boston Globe
, March 12, 2004.

Chapter I

The quotation attributed to B16 is from the
Catholic New Times
, October 9, 2005.

Chapter II

The quote at the beginning of the chapter is from Seamus Heaney,
District and Circle
(New York: Farrar Straus & Giroux, 2006).

Chapter III

The quote from Gabriele Amorth and much of the material on the Vatican condemnation of Harry Potter comes from Lifesitenews.com, March 1, 2006, and from the
New Yor,’Times
, January 1, 2002. A similar account appeared in other news media, including the
Daily Mail
in the United Kingdom and
The Age
in Australia.

In addition to Abraham, some of the material on the history of lay ministry came from Kenan B. Osbourne,
Ministry
(Mahwah, N.J.: Paulist Press, 1993), 215-16, 219.

Chapter IV

The quote from Jim Naughton appeared in
The New Yorker
, April 17, 2006.

The quote from the friar concerning O’Malley came from the
Boston Herald
, July 2, 2003.

The smut I imagined Myron reading comes from Scott Pomfret and Scott Whittier,
Hot Sauce
(New York: Warner Books, 2005),

The quotes from the Baltimore Catechism are actually from
A Catechism of the Catholic Religion
(New York: Schwartz, Kirwin & Fauss, 1878).

The quotation regarding pornography comes from the
Catechism of Catholic Church
(Ligouri, Mo.: Ligouri Publications, 1994).

The quote from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith is from its letter, “On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons.” October 1, 1986.

The statements attributed to the USCCB come from their document, “Ministry to Persons with a Homosexual Inclination: Guide to Pastoral Care,” November 14, 2006.

The 1992 Congregation of Doctrine of Faith statement was reported in the
National Catholic Reporter
’, October 14, 2005.

Statements attributed to Cardinal O’Malley concerning gay marriage come from the Web site of the Massachusetts Catholic Conference (www.macathconf.org), unless otherwise indicated.

Chapter V

Alban Butler,
Butler’s Lives of the Saints
’, edited by Herbert Thurston and Donald Attwater (New York: P. J. Kennedy & Sons, 1956).

The quote regarding “KKK without sheets” comes from the
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
, October 17, 2002.

The story regarding O’Malley’s disinviting a judge came from the
Boston Globe
, October 1, 2000. The quote regarding Jefferson Davis and the associated discussion derives in part from the religioustolerance.org Web site.

Chapter VI

The book by Trebor Healey that I reference is
Sweet Son of Pan
(San Francisco: Suspect Thoughts Press, 2006).

The quote under the “Rainbow Church” heading is from Mark Jordan,
The Silence of Sodom
(Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2000).

The source for Fr. Arpin’s coming-out is Bill Zajac, “Gay Priests in Barely Closed Closet,”
Springfield Republican
, February 29, 2004.

The source for Fr. Danyluk’s coming-out story is Matthai Chakko Kuruvila, “Gay Priest Leaves Parish He Loves,”
San Francisco Chronicle
, June 23, 2007.

The source for Fr. Morrison’s coming-out is “Gay Priest Comes Out to Parish,” 365gay.com, January 8, 2006. Fr. Morrison did not respond to a request for an interview.

The source for Fr. Kurylowicz’s coming-out is Charles Honey, “Gay Priest ‘Comes Out’ after New Ways Symposium,”
Grand Rapids Press
, March 29, 1997.

Chapter VII

The quote from Bishop Gregory comes from David France, “Gays and the Seminary,” MSNBC, May 20, 2002.

Chapter IX

“Sucksluts Anonymous” was published in
Lust for Life
(Montreal: Vehicule Press, 2006) and
Best Gay Erotica 2007
(San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2006).

The statistics regarding the good works of the Archdiocese of Boston derive from its Web site, www.rcab.org.

The quote from Bishop Vigneron is from Robert J. Johansen, “Homosexuality and the Seminaries: How to Read the New Vatican Instruction,”
Crisis
, February—March 2006.

The Rat’s threat to world peace is found on the Vatican Web site and dated December 11, 2007: “Everything that serves to weaken the family based on the marriage of a man and a woman, everything that directly or indirectly stands in the way of its openness to the responsible acceptance of a new life, everything that obstructs its right to be primarily responsible for the education of its children, constitutes an objective obstacle on the road to peace.”

The quote from Bishop Raul Vera is from
Newswee\
, September 17,2007.

The quote from the papal envoy to Spain was reported in the
Guardian
(London), May 5, 2004.

The source for Pope Gregory’s views on railroads is Charles R. Morris,
American Catholic
(New York: Vintage Books, 1997),
67
.

The letter to the editor of the
San Francisco Chronicle
was published on July 28, 2007.

The quote from Nancy Wilson appeared in
Boston Spirit
, December 2006.

The hierarchy of truths quote derives from the Decree on Ecumenism Unitatis Redintegratio, UR#11.

I borrowed the slavery argument from Luke Timothy Johnson, “Homosexuality & the Church: Experience & Scripture,”
Commonweal
, June 15, 2007.

Chapter X

Parts of the short history of excommunication derive from a National Public Radio report on Father Ned Reidy, available at www.npr.org/ templates/story/story.php ? story Id=5074599.

The Pope Pius X quote was reported in the
Catholic New Times
, October 9, 2005.

The Pope John XXIII quote appeared in a letter to the editor,
America
, June 21, 2004.

Fr. Cachia’s story appeared in, among other media,
Catholic New Times
, October 9, 2005, and
Globe and Mail
, October 22, 2005.

Material regarding Fr. Bozek’s experience came from
St. Louis
magazine, April 2006, and several stories in the
Chicago Tribune
and the
Springfield News-Leader
, in addition to a written interview with me.

The story of the lesbian couple denied communion appeared in the
Gilette News-Record
, March 10, 2007, and in an Associated Press story published in various media in March and April 2007.

The
Boston Globe
, July 27, 2003, is the source for the story about Shirley Gomes,

Chapter XI

The quote from Andrew Sullivan was from a speech he gave at Stone-hill College, April 17, 2007.

The quotes from Fr. Hennessey and the other priest come from the
Boston Globe
, October 4, 2006.

Quotes and information concerning relics, including Cardinal O’ Malley’s Padre Pio relic, derive from
the Boston Globe
, January 14,2007.

Chapter XII

The short history of marriage is loosely based on an open letter from Father Steven Schloesser, S. J., History Department, Boston College, to Senator Marian Walsh, West Roxbury, Massachusetts, February 19, 2004.

The financial report of the Archdiocese of Boston is the source for the information concerning spending. It is available at the archdiocese’s Web site, www.rcab.org.

The letter from the papal nuncio was reported in the
Boston Herald
, December 7, 2005.

The quote from Cardinal George appeared in 17.5.
Catholic
69, no. 11 (November 2004).

The Vatican II quote is from Lumen Gentium #35.

The list of rebel saints is taken from James Martin, “Saints That Weren’t,”
New Yorf{Times
, November 1, 2006.

The quote from B16 comes from a commentary on Gaudium et Spes (“The Church in the Modern World”) in Herbert Vorgrimler, ed.,
Commentary on the Documents of Vatican II
(London: Burns and Oats, 1969), 134. I am indebted to Father Rich Lewandowski for the idea of the archdiocese attacking divorce with the vigor with which it opposed gay marriage.

Chapter XIII

The source for Protestant condemnations of Boston’s Irish Catholics is Thomas H. O’Connor,
The Boston Irish
(Boston: Back Bay Books, 1995), pp. 1546, 4345, 64, 67, 77.

The story of the goldfish trapped in the closed school came from the
New Yor,’Times
, June 11, 2005. O’Malley ultimately allowed a parent to rescue the fish three days after the closure.

The story of the legal clinic client has been changed to preserve confidentiality.

Chapter XIV

Names of participants and details of their lives and conversation have been changed to protect the confidentiality of the meeting, except for quotations from Father John, who agreed to be interviewed.