“My head won’t stop ringing. Every time I remember Richard kneeling over Phillip, their hate-filled eyes, and all of the anger in the room, I keep seeing them together.” She took a deep breath to keep from throwing up on the table. “To be in the same boat, I don’t understand how you’re taking this so well.”
Rose sighed then shook her head, certain that Nadeen was speaking of Richard and his mistress because Phillip had filled her in on the particulars, including the tryst he had in Denver years ago. He was surprised when Rose informed him that she figured as much when he returned home, acting different and unable to touch her for weeks. Rose was able to pray it out of her system and forgive him, as long as he didn’t ever go willingly with his carnal demons again. Besides, she’d slipped up a time or two when he was out of town. It was like Phillip told Richard over lunch. They weren’t getting along and it didn’t appear they stood a chance to weather the toughest time in their marriage. Strangely enough, Phillip’s indiscretion helped bridge the muddied waters. They’d been a lot closer ever since. “I was in the same boat. Phillip owned up to the dirt he did. I’ve dealt with it,” she told Nadeen in a way that sounded condescending, although she didn’t mean it that way. “I, uh, I’m not implying Phillip is any better than Richard for doing the same thing. It’s just that he’s not on that road anymore. We’ve mended things between us. What Phillip is the most sorry for is lying to me about Richard. He didn’t have any business covering for Richard all this time.” She stopped talking altogether when she noticed Nadeen’s face had contorted into one colossal scowl. Suddenly, it occurred to her that she’d said too much.
“Phillip told you he’d been involved with other men, I mean, other than Richard?” she asked carefully.
Rose jerked her head back when Nadeen’s words slapped her across the face. “What? Other men? What are you talking about? Is that why you’re sitting there about to bust? You think our husbands are gay? That’s nonsense. Phillip’s thing was with some loose waitress. Uh-uh, you’ve got it all wrong. The fellas were fighting over . . .” When Rose’s mouth continued to move without a single word coming forth, Nadeen knew there was more to tell, something Rose was privy to or fooled into believing by Phillip.
“You don’t have to keep secrets from me, Rose!” Nadeen growled nastily. “You didn’t watch them. You didn’t. I’ve seen men come close to killing each other before and every time it was over money or someone getting caught slipping out of someone else’s back door. Now, unless there’s a lot of borrowed money I’m unaware of, it’s about who’s sexing who.” She bit her bottom lip to bridle her tongue, assuming Rose was either sadly mistaken or dense.
Rose simply felt awful because it was clear that Richard hadn’t admitted to what he’d been doing nor with whom. Despite how much she loved Nadeen and cared for her as a good friend, she couldn’t bring herself to share what Phillip had confided in her. Although she really wanted to explain everything she had learned, Rose agonized over it not being her place to do so. It was Richard’s. “I am sorry, Nadeen. This is messed up, I know that, but I can’t say any more about it. I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t!” Nadeen shouted, her voice rising above a normal pitch. “I thought you’d be there for me. I guess all of that supposin’ we did at my house when I thought Richard was seeing another woman didn’t hold water. It was easy to stand with me when there was a real threat of some . . . some tramp sleeping with Richard. Imagine that tramp being Phillip, Rose? Huh, where would you be then? I wonder if you’d be sitting all cool, calm, and collected if that thing Phillip confessed was only half the truth? Where would you be then? Right here crying to me, that’s where,” she said, trembling bitterly as she grabbed her purse. Rose understood where she was coming from but didn’t know how she’d arrived at that peculiar destination. All she could do was send her in another direction.
“Speak with your husband, Nadeen!” Rose shouted after her. “Talk to Richard!”
Shortly after leaving the church in a disgruntled blur, Richard briefly stopped by his home to change clothes. If only ridding himself of the actions that led to the dangerous struggle was so easy. With that in mind, Richard hopped back in his car then made a very important phone call. He dialed up Tatum Engineering, requesting a special visit to right the ship that had run aground because of his bad timing and poorly conceived decision to sack out with Dior beforehand. Three minutes of slick maneuvering with a goodly dose of pandering mixed in awarded Richard a ten-minute summit with the shrewd contractor. Thirty minutes after Richard arrived at the CEO’s office, he had successfully persuaded Carlton Tatum to overlook the inopportune catastrophe he lied about having been the cause of his absence earlier in the day. Richard’s knack for presenting best case scenarios versus choosing Tatum’s top competitor for the multimillion-dollar job inspired the old man to seal the deal that the quick-talking preacher had seemingly blown off for personal reasons. Soon enough, Richard was signing a stack of documents and scouting for the nearest exit. He autographed three sets of agreements, took copies for his records, then tore out of the overly decorated office for more subdued surroundings.
Quite satisfied with landing on his feet, Richard decided that his next course of action should include a heart-to-heart talk with Dior. She answered his phone call while out shopping. “Hey, you,” she moaned, still caught up in the afterglow from their mid-morning rendezvous. “I knew you had a lot to do today but I was kinda wondering when you’d get back to me.”
“Well, I do need to see you but our workout this morning will have to hold you for a minute. I’m more pressed for time than I thought I’d be but we should talk before I call it a day. How soon can I see you?”
“Didn’t I just tell you I was shopping? Who knows how long that’ll take?” Dior informed Richard she hadn’t planned on returning home for hours. However, she offered to meet for a late lunch. “Listen, sugar, I’m not too far away from the Tex-Mex spot I like. I am hearing something in Spanish and it sounds like enchiladas calling my name again. If you’re not scared, you could meet me there.”
“Dior, come on now,” Richard answered in a backpedaling manner. He hadn’t completely dug himself out of the other hole he’d fallen into. “We’ve already gone over that. What would I say if Nadeen or one of her friends saw me out with you?”
“Oomph, I’d have an answer for that if Nadeen and her friends were
my
problem. But that’s a good question. What would you say?”
“Let’s not get into that right now,” he debated, for the sake of time. “Besides it’s probably not a good idea to deal in hypotheticals at this point. You ever hear of speaking things into being?”
“Yeah, I get that, all of it.” When Richard balked at seeing her in public, Dior grew increasingly agitated. “What you’re trying to say is you’re only good with kicking it at my place. Ever think I might want to get out for dinner, a cozy cocktail, maybe catch a jazz set or two with my man?”
“Sure, I’ve considered taking you out so that’s not what I’m saying at all,” he argued, with a hitch in his voice Dior hadn’t heard before. She didn’t like it.
“Know what, Richard? You’ve already said too much. Why don’t you run on home and hide. I must have been silly to think you could hold me down. You’re not cut out for this lifestyle, Preacher Man. Next time, don’t come if you can’t stay. This is a real big man’s game and you just lost.” Dior hung up in his face then turned it off when Richard continually redialed, just like she knew he would. She wasn’t that disturbed by her role as Richard’s private joy or the arrangement they agreed on in principle, an agreement she still intended on honoring. It was the way Richard clamored nervously about the possibility of getting busted by Nadeen that set her off.
Richard grunted violently when Dior’s phone forwarded to voice mail each time he persisted in reaching her. “She’s dumping me, ending it,” he said to himself more than once. “Just like that, huh?” Perhaps it was better this way, he reasoned, since walking away from Dior was unimaginable. He didn’t have it in him to tell her no, even if he tried. Richard was exhausted, dejected, and eager to spend quality time in his own house for a change. It had been a tiring day, one he wouldn’t soon forget and one that wasn’t nearly over. Dreading a difficult and overdue discussion with Nadeen, Richard took the long way home.
Nadeen couldn’t busy herself enough while pacing the floor. She wrung her hands nervously when hearing Richard’s car pull into the three-car garage. Mahalia sat in the family room with the television locked on the cartoon channel. She observed her mother’s pensive actions although pretended not to be affected by it. Roxanne clung by her older sister’s side on the sofa. She couldn’t have known what was acutely wrong with her mother but she sensed Nadeen’s angst only in the way a child could, on the periphery of their bond.
Oblivious to her children’s close proximity, Nadeen met Richard in the utility room after he closed the garage door. She realized he had changed clothes and had somehow managed to shrug on a cloak of humility since she saw him last. His eyes were weary and encircled by dark rings. It was understandable that he must have spent hours soul-searching after what she assumed he had gone through and had yet to address with her. Despite the whipped expression he dragged into the house, Nadeen wasn’t about to let him off the hook. “It’s about time you came home,” she said, almost as uncomfortable as the man she thought she knew.
Richard’s eyes closed momentarily, then he breathed deeply. “Hey, baby. I thought you would have called my cell today,” he replied in a choppy staccato manner as if he was piecing the sentence together as he went along. When Nadeen sneered at him, he cleared his throat. “It was unacceptable what happened at the church today. I feel real bad about how it looked too but that’s all behind us now.” He tried to saunter past her to enter the kitchen. Nadeen shook her index finger mere inches from his nose, motioning for him to stay put.
“Oomph, you want to talk about unacceptable? For eighteen years, I’ve carried your name, eighteen. And during those years, I carried your dreams in my chest and your children in my womb. At times, I even carried your burdens and your bad credit. If that’s the best you can do in the way of explaining to me what’s been going on, I may as well get the girls’ bags packed and catch the midnight plane to Georgia. Nothing could possibly be put behind us until I know what’s been going on behind my back.”
“You’re right, Nadeen. You have been there for me every step of the way. I’m thankful for that. Maybe, maybe a few days away would do everyone some good,” he uttered foolishly.
Nadeen chuckled with an air of disbelief. “Whew, that sounds just like you, Richard, always trying to minimize things to take the heat off. Got news for you: that ain’t gon’ get it this time,” she whispered fiendishly. Nadeen was unraveling. Richard was surprised when she managed to control herself and sustain a modicum of restraint instead of cutting him to bits. “I already have half a mind to notify Mahalia’s and Roxy’s schools first thing in the morning, from Atlanta, that they won’t be coming back.”
“You’d do that to me?” he growled, with a glint of resentment in his eyes. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Funny you should mention that. I’m still waiting for you to tell me the same thing. What and who’s gotten into you, Richard? Don’t lie to me. I know Phillip isn’t the only one. How many others have there been?”
“Phillip? Others, other-other-what?” he stammered, his eyes darting erratically to and fro.
“No use in holding back now, I heard you and him talking about sweet secret lovin’ and his decision not to be there for you any longer,” she mocked. “I heard it all so you can stop pretending!”
Richard stood back on his heels. He’d slipped up and broken his vows more times than he wanted to remember at the moment but what she was suggesting sounded ridiculous, even for him. “Nadeen, you cannot think I’ve had a sexual relationship with Phillip. Baby, baby, you know me better than that.”
She laughed at how funny that sounded coming out of his mouth. “You know, I thought I did until I found myself at the doctor’s office today, submitting blood for an AIDS test.”
“What! Oh wait a minute. What doctor? Dr. Griggs? Now she thinks I’ve been fooling around with men?”
Nadeen licked her lips when his last statement smacked her hard. “You care more about what she thinks of you than I do? Negro, you’ve done it now. If you won’t spill it, then keep it. I don’t need this in my life. You can hang out with the boys, play poker, or whatever it is y’all call it. Just leave me and my children out of it!” Nadeen turned to abandon the discussion that to that point had failed to compel Richard to admit a single infraction.
“Wait! Wait!” he yelled, grabbing her by the arm. “Wait a minute!”
“So now you want to talk?” she snapped back. “Tell me then. How often have you had unprotected sex? Anal sex?” Richard’s eyes flew wide open. He reached for answers but found none. Admitting he had unprotected sex was admitting he’d had relations, and with Dior of all people, the one woman he profusely denied being involved with. In the wake of his silence, Nadeen jerked her arm from his grasp then parked both fists on her hips. “Tell me all about it, Richard. Tell me how long you’ve been gay!”
Richard looked as if he’d seen a ghost. His ashy lips quivered as a small shadow eased around the corner just ahead of Roxy. She eyed her parents after growing concerned about the boisterous accusations thrown about the room. “I heard y’all fighting,” she said, not settled on quite how to feel about it. The pointed question she leveled on them explained why. “Are y’all getting a divorce?”
“No, Roxy,” answered Richard without hesitation.
“That depends on what your father says to me next,” Nadeen replied flippantly.
“It wouldn’t be so bad,” Roxy added naïvely, having contemplated the idea when a classmate’s parents called it quits. “I could have two bedrooms and a whole ’nother set of toys and dresses if you do.”
“Why don’t you go back in there with your sister, Roxy,” Nadeen demanded sternly. “I promise, you’ll be the first to know.” She watched her daughter rush off, blind to the situation involving all of them.