Singing Heart (34 page)

“
Bananas.” she declared tickling his ribs. He laughed and captured her firmly against him. “Careful you’ll crush the family jewels.”

They dressed leisurely neither of them in a hurry because they knew they were so close to home. It was a full moon tonight and it would light their path if it grew dark before they reached the farm. They both wanted to hold on to the moment. Reluctantly they continued their journey with Sean pacing the horses slower than before. He broached the subject that had been heavy on his mind for weeks now.

“
Angel, are you happy out in the country? I know it must be so lonely for you out in the middle of nowhere. Would you prefer to live in the city?”

She looked genuinely shocked. “Sean Fenierre…you practically ruined my reputation in town to get me out here and thank God the plague didn’t wipe out the whole city…but now you wonder if I’d be happier there? Leave our home? I can’t believe your asking such a foolish question!”

“
The house is too big. Too much for you since you became ill. What if I hired a woman to live in to help you out and to keep you company till you regain your health?”

She thought about it seriously nodding slowly. “Maybe for awhile. I feel guilty because I don’t have enough energy to do things like I did before. I am a little lonely. But I wouldn’t want just anyone. I’d be jealous if she were too young and pretty.” she winked mischievously at her handsome husband. “And I certainly don’t want one who’s so much older she would take over and treat me like a child.”

Sean grimaced. “I’ve been thinking about it. Remember that woman you told me you were friends with at the boarding house? I met her once but I don’t recall her name.”

“
Kerrie Ballend?” she supplied. “She would be perfect. I bet she would jump at the chance to get out of there for awhile. Oh Sean, do you think we could arrange it? I don’t know if I have the guts to go back there to talk to her in person.”

He patted her encouragingly. “You don’t have to. I think I can figure out an easier way. We’ll just write her. Tell her the truth and let her make her decision that way. If she does agree to come stay with us we’ll pay her a salary plus her room and board. You know this might be a good opportunity for Robert too. They’re about the same age group. From what you told me she’s very nice. He doesn’t have a chance to meet women socially. They might fall in love. She could certainly do worse.”

Xzan stared at her husband in amazement. “Why Sean I do believe you’ve gotten sentimental in your old age.”

He chuckled. “Nope. Just satisfied. I want everyone to be as happy as I am.”

She laid her cheek against his arm contentedly. “I’m glad you’re happy. ”

Chapter Thirteen

Robert fell in love with Kerrie at first sight.

It must” Xzan mused, “be a Fenierre trait.”

Unfortunately the lady in question wasn’t as enamored. Xzan decided to encourage her cousin-in-law to bathe, don his nicer clothes and curb his crude language. Stubbornly he declared that he was what he was and he wouldn’t change for no woman. Despite his obstinate nature Xzan felt sorry for him. She knew that under that farmer’s rough demeanor was a tender heart. If he’d just polish the exterior long enough to win the lady’s affections she would accept him for himself as time passed. But to start off stinking to high heavens even from an honest days work was a bit too much to expect. Xzan had always made the men wash before coming to supper but they only had to wash their faces and hands hastily slicking back their hair. Sean knew better than to follow their example if he wanted to be close to her. Robert however still had an aversion to a real bath like his father.

Jeb was crazy. Robert took him a tray every night to eat privately keeping Sean updated on everything that happened. The one time Robert ever tried to introduce Kerrie to his father the old man nearly scared her half to death. She firmly refused to ever go near the cabin again.

Kerrie had been invaluable. Helping Xzan with the big house, sewing and in general keeping her mind occupied with girlish exchanges. It had been so long since she’d had a female companion she’d forgotten how delightful it could be to tell secrets, giggle clandestinely and gang up on the men who had always outnumbered her.

Xzan was determined to do a little matchmaking between the two single young people. She thought it would be wonderful for them to have each other to share life with believing they were well suited. Both were quiet, hard working, self-motivated people. Serious about what was most important to them. Devoted to those they cared about. So far though nothing she had done to throw the two together had worked. Until the night that fate intervened. It had been raining and thundering all afternoon.

The sky had turned ominously dark casting a gloomy haze all across the farm. The wind had picked up alarmingly and the storm was growing louder even more fierce making them all uneasy. Sean was cleaning his gun by the fireplace. Xzan and Kerry were on the settee each lost in their own thoughts darning socks. Robert had just left with a tray for his father’s supper. It started like a far off sound of thunder growing louder and closer never quite reaching a crescendo. The three stared at each other crying out in horrified unison as they realized what it must be. Sean grabbed his wife’s arm calling out above the roar

“
To the shelter!”

The front door flew off its hinges as he opened it and they were all nearly thrown off their feet by the mighty gust. Xzan saw blood running down the side of his forehead where the wood had hit him. Sean was oblivious to the pain as terrified as the women all of them struggling frantically against the wind pressure to get outside. It was a battle to even take one step at a time. After what seemed an eternity while their hearts all pounded in pure unadulterated terror Sean was able to finally swing the shelter’s door open. The ladies didn’t hesitate to crawl down the stairs more afraid of the raging twister than the possibility of a rattler dangling from the unattended rafters.

It was a bantam space. They could only squat down hands over their ears to muffle the mighty cacophony. It was pitch dark and so dusty they could barely breathe. Xzan buried her face in her husband’s broad chest clutching his shirt to her nose gasping for air and coughing profusely. It seemed the monstrous vacuum that swirled above ground would bury them alive. The horrifying sound of shattering glass, splintering wood and debris flying everywhere as the sooty wind captured and destroyed all in it’s wake was more terrifying than anything else she had ever been through.

Sean despite his own fear held his wife protectively. Kerrie was screaming hysterically balled up in the corner of the shelter like a small child who couldn’t bear the reality of what was happening. Paralyzed by their own terror Sean and Xzan watched her helplessly unable to move. Then as fast as it had descended the black devil departed. Sheets of rain followed in the tornado’s wake. They remained imprisoned another hour then all was calm. The survivors crept out of the shelter, which miraculously hadn’t been buried in debris on wobbly knees clinging to each other unable to comprehend the horror of what greeted them.

The house was leveled as though it had never been. There were only a few shreds of what once was. Not only had the tornado destroyed the structure but it must have swept up the pieces and took them along with it. Xzan was too stunned to realize their loss. She was glad to simply be alive. Thanked God that her husband had the foresight to build their safe underground haven. If they had been inside the house they would be dead or maybe even in worse shape. For the first time she thought about Robert and Jeb. Sean seemed to have the same thought at that moment. They ran simultaneously to see about the men leaving Kerrie standing in shock heedless of their departure. The cabin stood proudly unscathed. Robert opened the door just as they reached it hands trembling badly. His freckles stood out like pink paisley on his ashen features. They stared at each other in disbelief. He grinned weakly.

“
That’s the last time I’ll complain about the crops being too dry.”

They all laughed shakily. “Where’s Kerrie?” he added worriedly noticing the missing woman.

“
She’s alive.” Xzan assured him. “Is Jeb okay?”

Robert swiped his lean hand through his unruly locks. “I don’t know. He ran out of here screaming about the Old Gooseberry chasing him when it started. I tried to stop him, but he was out of the door before I could reach him. He’s probably lying low in one of the fields.”

He didn’t seem too concerned. Xzan realized he probably hadn’t seen the damage outdoors or he would realize how unlikely it was that anyone survived that devastation. It was a pure miracle the cabin had been untouched. They would have to look for the man if he didn’t come back soon. Robert was more concerned about Kerrie at the moment knowing that even out of his mind his father was a crusty old character that could take on the toughest foe. They went to fetch her. When Robert saw their home had been completely annihilated he looked as lost as they felt.

“
Looks like you’ll be sharing our cabin for awhile, unless…”he teased half-heartedly “you want to return to your honeymoon cottage.” he pointed to the barn which was leaning sideways and looked suspiciously hazardous. Sean wrinkled his nose disdainfully.

“
We’ll pass.”

Xzan noticed Sean’s head was still bleeding. There was a huge lump swelling where he had been injured. She cried out in alarm. He pushed her probing fingers aside impatiently.

“
Quit fussing over me like I’m a baby. I’m fine.”

“
You’re not!” she scolded worriedly. Continuing to examine the gaping wound. He flinched growling like an injured bear.

“
I said stop it!” He raised his hand. She saw it in slow motion as it descended across her cheek. It sounded like a gunshot as his fingers made contact with her tender flesh and it stung instantly. She backed away holding her cheek staring at him incredulously. It was incomprehensible that he would ever hit her. Xzan tried to reason it out in her mind. He had reacted with the pent up emotions cause by the storm, the fear of dying, loss of the house and their dreams that he had worked so hard to build even the pain she had caused when she touched him yet the look in his eyes wasn’t sorry. It was one of steel. Cold. A stranger staring back at her defiantly. Like she was his enemy. She turned and ran towards the cabin unsure of how to react. Numb. It was too reminiscent of the way Brett had treated her. She heard Robert arguing with Sean heatedly. Sean’s deep voice booming,

“
Mind your own damn business.”

They never found Jeb. It was like he just disappeared clean off the face of the earth. They all suspected he had been carried away like some of the animals and pieces of the house had been. It was too horrendous to be voiced aloud. Sean had bathed his own injury finally, which suited him and his wife both just fine. Robert was more concerned about Kerrie than his father’s disappearance. Perhaps because he had lived with his having to deal with the nightmare of Jeb’s insane behavior for so long it was secretly a relief to be alleviated of that burden during the latest crisis.

Something had snapped inside Kerrie’s mind during the storm. She had been too afraid. She heard and responded to them when they addressed her. Nodding or shaking her head and helping obediently when asked. She just was unable to speak. Xzan knew it was psychological. It had to do with a previous experience. She knew Kerrie’s entire family had been killed several years ago when she was just a small child by a tornado. She had been the sole survivor, taken in by the church in town and passed from one family to another until she was grown, never belonging to anyone or anything after that. If Xzan recalled right Kerrie had been in the outhouse behind the cabin when it struck out of nowhere. Too young to understand what it was, alone and terrified much the same way she had been today. They all patiently tried to bring her out of her shell. Xzan confided her knowledge with Robert who went out of his way to comfort the intimidated woman. Amazingly enough she began to respond to his gentle ministrations.

Sean never apologized for slapping Xzan. She tried to find it in her heart to forgive him. Treated him with the same care she gave to Robert and Kerrie. However she kept a safe distance unable to bring herself to touch him or let him too close. When he at length reached out to her she lay next to him unresisting and equally unresponsive. He sighed longing for her caresses. Turning over he was snoring in a few minutes in exhaustion. She lay in the dark with unshed tears burning the corners of her eyes refusing to feel sorry for her loss. She loved Sean but she couldn’t allow him to treat her that way ever again. She didn’t know how to fix what had happened.

Living in a cramped space after the luxury of the big house was hard. Xzan carefully kept her own pain hidden trying to make the best of the situation always grateful that they were still alive. She scrubbed the cabin clean with Kerrie’s help. It wasn’t in much better shape than it had been the first time she laid eyes on it. Later she and Sean went to town on horseback because the wagon had been irreparably damaged. She used a bank draft to buy what they needed. Even though they were married she had never added his name to her papers at the bank. Nor did she intend to now. He had broken her trust. She would at least survive without him if she had to. She hated feeling this way. But after the way her first husband had abused her Xzan knew that once a man hit you he crossed a line. He lost his respect for you and each time he crossed that barrier it got worse.