Tammy called these the single mother blues. Everything Falisha was going through right now, Tammy had been there and done that. Raising a kid alone wasn't easy at all, and Tammy wasn't going to lie and make her think that it was going to be.
“Look, Falisha, if you plan on keeping this baby, you gotta do what's best for your child. Don't worry about what Kim thinks or anybody else for that matter,” Tammy told her.
The advice was a little tough, since all of them were friends, but Tammy did nothing less than keep it one hundred. What Falisha did with the advice was totally up to her, but in Tammy's eyes Lamar needed to know that he was about to be a father, and telling him now would be better than telling him later.
* * *
Ralphy looked up and down the block carefully before entering the house he had with Johanne. Once inside, he pulled the Glock from his waist and held it down by his side as he walked through the house. The light in the kitchen made it possible for him to see enough not to walk into things. He hadn't been there in a couple of days, nor had he spoken to Johanne much.
Feeling like the house was secure, he shot upstairs to his bedroom to see if Johanne was there or if she was staying over at DeeDee's house like she said she would. When Ralphy got to the bedroom and opened the door, the sound of a heavy snorer filled the room. Knowing that it was physically impossible for that to have been Johanne, Ralphy reached for the light switch and turned it on.
Johanne and another man were in the bed asleep. Ralphy walked up to the bed, and they still didn't wake up. It wasn't until he put the barrel of the gun on Johanne's forehead that she cracked opened her eyes. It was like she had seen a ghost the way her eyes popped out.
“Donny,” Johanne called out to the man she'd been sleeping with. “Donny,” she called again, this time waking him up.
Ralphy had backed up to the foot of the bed, but he kept the gun pointed at both of them. His eyes were locked on Johanne until Donny said something.
“Hold up, homie, we can talk about this,” Donny said, attempting to get up from the bed.
“Lay ya monkey ass down,” Ralphy said, pointing the gun at him now.
“I don't have nothin' to do wit' it. Lick want you dead,” Donny yelled.
Looking at him for the first time, Ralphy couldn't believe Johanne was lying in his bed with another man. Not just any man, either. It was the second gunman who insisted on killing Ralphy in front of his daughter in the driveway. Ralphy never forgot a face.
Johanne was literally sleeping with the enemy, and for that, she was going to die with him.
Ralphy squeezed the trigger, sending a hot lead ball at Donny, hitting him in the center of his forehead. His body slumped over onto Johanne, who began to cry out. She pled for Ralphy not to shoot her, and in a final attempt to preserve her life, Johanne yelled, “I'm pregnant with your baby!”
Her words were ignored as Ralphy aimed the gun at her. He was already on the path to Murderville, and at this moment he didn't have any picks. She was just as guilty as everybody else who participated in the assassination attempts on his life. His heart was cold toward each and every one of them and, without further ado, Ralphy pulled the trigger on her too. The first bullet hit her in the chest, knocking her back against the headboard. Ralphy walked up closer, aimed the gun at her head, and fired again, killing her instantly. He wiped down his gun thoroughly, tossing it in the bed before throwing his hood over his head and walking out of the room.
Chapter 39
Sunday dinner at Ms. D's house took place as usual. The sound of grunts and silverware hitting empty plates was all that could be heard in the dining room. The whole gang was there, and Ms. D was so kind to have invited Darious as well, only so that everyone could officially meet him. He did good for the most part, answering a million and one questions by Tammy's closest friends. Lamar and Ralphy were a little overprotective, but made it perfectly clear that as long as Darious didn't put his hands on Tammy, he would be good.
“Listen up,” Ms. D said, getting everyone's attention at the table. “You all know my situation, and I just wanna give you an update on what's going on. Considering the news I got over the course of my last three visits to my doctor, I have decided not to go through with the chemo,” she announced.
As she expected, the crowd wasn't happy with her decision. Everyone at the table except Darious put up a protest, yelling out their opinions on the matter, but Ms. D really didn't want to hear it. Her mind was already made up, and there was nothing or nobody who could change it.
“Is everybody done?” Ms. D said, as the commotion wore down. “Now, I didn't ask for any of your medical advice. I told y'all because this is the only family I have left, and if the good Lord takes my soul,” Ms. D spoke, “I want y'all to be ready.”
When Ms. D started talking about life insurance and her funeral, Falisha got up from the table in tears. Ms. D was like a second mom to her, and pretty much everybody else who was sitting at the table.
“I got her, y'all,” Lamar said, getting up from the table and following Falisha out to the porch.
Truth be told, he really didn't feel like hearing Ms. D talk about her situation either. For him Ms. D was like his only mom and he loved her as much.
“I don't like it either,” he said, walking up to Falisha. “Come 'ere,” he said, extending his arms.
Falisha leaned in and was wrapped up into his body. He spoke softly and gently, bringing Falisha a sense of comfort, one she hadn't felt for quite some time. As she rested her head against his chest, she had a moment where she felt the love that they once shared.
“I have to tell you something,” Falisha said while he continued to hold her. “It's ours,” she told him as she wiped the tears from her face.
“Huh? What are you talking about?” Lamar asked, pulling away from her.
Falisha looked Lamar in his eyes. “This baby I'm carrying in my stomach is yours, Lamar.”
“Yeah, right! Stop playin' wit' me, Falisha,” Lamar shot back.
“Do it look like I'm playin? Just think about it, Lamar. I wasn't fuckin' nobody else but you for the past three months,” Falisha explained.
“Now, though? You gon' do this now, Falisha? What, you trying to fuck up what me and Kim got going on?” Lamar snapped.
“It ain't my fault. You da one who played me. I was pregnant before you decided you didn't love me anymore. You know what? Fuck you, Lamar!” Falisha tried to smack the fire out of his mouth, but Lamar caught her hand before it connected to his face.
“We don't need you. Now I see why Kim had an abortion,” Falisha said, snatching her wrist away from Lamar's grip.
“Now I know you tripping. What the fuck you mean, you know why Kim had an abortion?”
“Like you said, I don't want to fuck up what you and Kim got going on, so maybe you need to ask her.”
Falisha rolled her eyes and walked off the porch, leaving Lamar standing there deep in thought. He threw his head back and let out a loud sigh in frustration thinking about Kim possibly killing his child and not telling him about it. He became angry at the thought of it; and if it turned out to be true, it was surely going to be a problem.
* * *
After leaving Ms. D's house, Darious, Tammy, and the kids headed home for the night. Anthony and Sinniyyah were in the back seat knocked out cold from their stomachs being full and the night air seeping through the windows, which were cracked open slightly. Wanting to spend some time with Tammy, Darious took the long way home, enjoying the soft music playing at a low volume throughout the car.
“You never answered my question,” Tammy said, breaking the silence between them.
Darious looked over at her, not really hearing what she said. “What's that?” he asked.
“I said you never answered my question,” Tammy repeated. “That night I asked if you were you trappin', you never answered me,” she said, reaching into her Gucci bag and turning on the recording device. She adjusted her pocketbook so that the little camera on the outside of the bag was aimed at him. Agent Grant had called her earlier and told her that she need to come up with something before the deal came off the table. Up until now, she hadn't provided anything that was of use to their case, so the DEA was starting to become a little impatient.
“You're right. I did avoid the question, and that's only because I felt that the less you know the better. If the wrong person got a whiff of what I'm doing, the feds would be knocking at our door in no time,” Darious said.
“I just want you to be able to trust me, and I don't want us to have any secrets between us,” Tammy spoke.
Darious looked out to the highway, thinking about what Tammy was saying. In a sense, she was right, and there were times when Darious hated the fact that he couldn't share certain aspects of his life with her. Even though what he was doing wasn't considered to be a violent crime, Tammy did deserve to know the truth.
“I trap, but it's not the kind of trappin' that you think,” Darious began. “I sell pills. Percocet, Xanax, oxycodone, and every now and again I get my hands on some Molly. I got a doctor in the hospital who forges prescriptions for me, and most of the time I go down to the hospital's pharmacy to get them. Other times, so I won't draw any attention to myself, I take the scripts to theâ”
“The neighborhood pharmacies,” Tammy said, finishing his sentence. “Damn, boo, is it really a lot of money in pills?” she asked with a curious look on her face.
“Put it this way: I make five dollars off of each pill, wholesale, and I'm moving close to one thousand pills a day. In some cases, depending upon the quality of the pill, that number doubles,” Darious explained. He went into detail about his operation, but the information he gave was basic compared to what was going on behind the scenes.
Tammy recorded every word of it. This was sure to be enough for her to get back in good graces with the DEA, and if they needed more Darious was more than comfortable enough to share just about everything with Tammy.
* * *
“What's ya problem?” Kim asked, nudging Lamar, who was sitting on the couch with his face balled up. “So you not gon' talk now?” she said after he glanced over at her then turned his focus back on the television without saying anything to her.
The idea of Kim getting an abortion behind his back was the only thing that was on his mind all day. A part of him wanted to know, but then another part wished that it weren't true. So many nights Lamar lay in the bed with Kim talking about wanting to start a family with her, and telling her how good of a father he was going to be. Kim had also expressed her desire to have a child with Lamar, and didn't object when he came inside of her just about every time they had sex. Lamar was confused, and being confused was one of the things that made him so upset.
“Yo, I'ma ask you something, and if you love me as much as you say you do, you won't lie to me,” Lamar said, grabbing the remote control and turning the TV off.
“Sure, babe, what is it?” Kim asked.
Lamar didn't know quite how to formulate the question to her without being ignorant. He simply said it the way he felt it: “Did you kill my baby?”
Kim almost choked on her spit when he asked her that. It wasn't what he said, it was how he said it that messed Kim's head up. It was bad enough she had to live with what she had done, but now in the eyes of her soon-to-be husband, she was considered a baby killer. It was a little too harsh, but Kim stood by her decision, and was willing to face the music.
“Yes, I was pregnant by you, and yes, I got an abortion,” Kim confessed, putting her head down in shame.
Lamar's heart sank into his stomach after hearing those words. He looked over at Kim, who couldn't find it in herself to even look at Lamar. All the emotions she experienced after the procedure came back, this time tenfold.
“Damn, was I not good enough for you? Did I do something wrong that made you not want to carry my seed inside of you?” Lamar asked, looking over at her.
Kim just sat there for a few minutes saying nothing.
“Oh, now you don't have anything to say?”
“I'm sorry, Lamar. I fucked up, and I regret ever doing it,” Kim cried, letting her tears flow freely. “I was scared, and I didn't know if we were goingâ”
“Kim, I haven't done nothing but love you up until now,” Lamar said, cutting her off. “I told you that I wanted a child. Shit, I got down on my knees and asked you to marry me,” Lamar snapped.
Kim tried to say something, but Lamar got up from the couch, grabbed his keys off the table, and left the house before she could think of anything. She sat there crying her eyes out, thinking how she might have ruined their relationship. Lamar was crushed, and Kim didn't even know where to begin to try to fix it. All she knew was that the most important man in her life had just walked out the door, and she wasn't sure if he was coming back.
* * *
“I don't know what Kim did, but Lamar sure looked mad as hell,” Lisa said as she sat on the couch looking out the window.
“You so nosy.” Ralphy chuckled, walking over and peeking out of the window too.
“Shut up. And where do you think you're going, dressed like that?” Lisa asked, seeing that Ralphy had on all black.
Ralphy leaned over and kissed Lisa on the forehead. “I gotta take care of something. I'll be back in a couple of hours, babe. You gon' wait up for me?” He smiled.
“You know I am, and I think I might be ready for you,” she said, biting her lower lip and giving Ralphy a wink.
Lisa had been feeling extra horny as of late, and not even a bullet wound to the gut was going to stop her from trying to get some tonight. It had been a minute for Ralphy also, considering everything he had been going through lately. He really didn't have sex on his mind, because all he wanted to do was kill.
“You know I love you, right?” Ralphy asked, pressing his forehead against hers.
“I love you more, babe,” Lisa responded, grabbing the sides of his face. “Now what are you about to do?” she asked, pulling her head back away from his so she could look him in the eyes.
“Nothing!” Ralphy answered, leaning in and stealing a kiss from her before turning away and walking out the door.
“Do you got ya phone wit' you?” she yelled out the window as he walked down the street.
He held it up in the air right before he got into a rental car. All that leaving the house with no way to contact him was out of the question.
* * *
Lamar didn't even bother getting in his car. Instead, he took a walk, hoping that the cool night breeze would calm him down. The night breeze was cool, but it wasn't working at all. He found himself walking into a local playground where several kids were still out playing basketball. Lamar took a seat on the bleacher by himself, checking out the game. Everything that Falisha had told him about Kim turned out to be true, and he couldn't help but to think that maybe the baby that was growing inside of her was his. Thinking back, he was a little out of pocket with his reaction toward the news, and Lamar couldn't blame her for being mad at him. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through it until he got to Falisha's number. Her phone rang several times before going to her voicemail. Lamar tried again but there wasn't an answer.
If anybody had an excuse to get an abortion, it would be Falisha, due to the way Lamar had been treating her. It was crazy, but in Lamar's mind, he hoped that she wouldn't do it. The more he thought about it, the more he needed to talk to Falisha to see what she was going to do.
* * *
The west side had a big party over at Club 935 and just about everybody was going to be to see the rapper Young Jeezy. Ralphy knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Lick was going to be there repping his crew. One thing about the west side boys, they showed out at parties, clubs, and whatever events that went on in the city.
“My man, you can't come in here dressed like that,” the bouncer said, stopping Ralphy at the door.
“Dressed like what?” Ralphy responded, looking around at other partygoers who were admitted with no problem.
“No jeans, no boots, and you damn sure ain't coming up in here with no hood on,” the bouncer informed him.
Ralphy sized the bouncer up. He had to be every bit of six feet four inches, 300 pounds, and all muscle. Forcing his way in was out of the question, so Ralphy spoke in a language just about everybody understood. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a wad of money about an inch thick, nothing but twenties. The bouncer thought that Ralphy was going to peel off a couple hundred, but he didn't. He extended his hand, offering the whole wad. The bouncer's eyebrow went up, then he looked around before grabbing the money from him.
“Don't start no shit up in here,” the bouncer said, stepping to the side and letting Ralphy in.
Ralphy walked right by him, throwing his hood over his head. Inside was a whole lot better than the outside. The party was off the chain, and there had to be well over 1,000 people there, some of whom were females walking around with the least bit of clothing on. Ralphy was like the sore thumb by the way he was dressed, but there were so many people there, nobody seemed to notice him.