Single Player: Humor, Love, Breast Cancer and a Gaming Girl... (29 page)

“It sure is good to see your mug,” he says playfully pulling me into a headlock, giving an extra-knuckly noogie to the center of my head.

“Asswipe! STOP!” I cry out, as I try to push him off.

“Look at what you’re doing to my hair! PLEASE!”  You’d think a plea for the sake of your hair would stop a noogie, but think again. I push again and harder this time, only to find that my brother is quite possibly made from impenetrable steel. 

He finally acquiesces to my plea’s and pulls me into a much more comforting side hug to prove he still loves me, then tells Liddy, “I’m taking Hotpants here home. Tell Chris we’ll catch up later will ya babe?” Hotpants? Only Ashton can call me that… and there it is, now I miss Ashton… more. My fingers have actually become itchy this week with the desperation with which I’ve been feeling to text him. But I can’t. It wouldn’t be right to deliver the news about Master in ten words or less and besides, I’m not yet ready to say it or write it out loud.  When I can, I will.             

“You can’t just take me home. I’m supposed to be going home with Chris and Angela. Connor, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, I’m good. Really.”
As long as I’m being babysat,
is my very next thought.             

“Listen. We both know what they’re
really
up to right now.” Grrrr.

“Yes, we both do. But, I’d really appreciate it if you’d stop rubbing it in. I know what they’re doing. I know what everyone’s been doing. The lot of you are off having amazing monkey sex ninety percent of the time and I’m NOT! You don’t need to keep reminding me. I KNOW!”

“Wow, someone needs some monkey sex,” he whispers before continuing on as if I didn’t just hand him his ass.  “What I was trying to say before is, we can text them now and tell them to take their sweet time. Then, I’ll take you by your place so you can pack a bag. And on the way there we can go through a drive thru, grab some breakfast and then just hang out until the happy couple comes for you.”  Best. Brother. Ever.

“I can’t argue with a single thing you just said. It sounds perfect.” He kisses Liddy goodbye and whispers something in her ear which causes a Grand Canyon sized smile to spread across her fiery cheeks. I don’t even want to know. He’s worse than the regular monkeys, he’s a damn Gorilla. Gahk!

“I’m so happy you made it today Cee. Call me later okay?” I give Liddy a nod and a wave, affirming that I will do just that as we head out.             

The car ride to my place is peaceful. Being siblings, neither of us feels the need to fill the space with a bunch of mindless chatter. And, as promised, Connor stops to get us breakfast sandwiches before heading home. The windows are down, our hairs blowing wildly in the wind, all while we listen to the fine harmonizing of George Harrison and Paul McCartney as they sing Here Comes the Sun. This day is
almost
perfect. My life is full of
almosts
.

When we pull up to my place he comes around and opens my door for me like the gentleman my father raised him to be. When I’m almost to the front door I hear his car start back up and turn to see what he’s doing. 

“Where are you going? I thought we were hanging out?” I say, confusion marring my face as he starts to shut the shiny, steel, door.

“I’ll be back.” And this time he does slam the door shut and is out of the driveway before I have a chance to open my mouth for a second time. 

“Something’s afoot,” I say aloud to no one while sliding my key into the lock and opening the door.

I head into the kitchen, setting down the bag of sausage biscuits for two and make myself a much needed cup of coffee. As I reach to grab my favorite cup from the cupboard I hear something coming from my room around the corner. My heart picks up speed and my tiny breasts begin to sweat (this new habit they’ve picked up is getting old fast).

I can’t decide if I should do what all the idiots in horror movies do and go check out the strange noise all by myself or wait like a good girl, the one who wants to survive, and call 911 for backup. “Mrrrrr” goes the sound again. Jesus, Mary and Joseph what was that? With my phone in hand prepared to call the Po-Po, I kick off Liddy’s sweaty sneakers and begin to tip-toe down the hall in my socks.  “MMrrr…”goes the high pitched sound once again. 

“OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD,” I rant as one long whispered plea to my lord and savior above, hopeful he’ll show mercy on my bruised and freaked out soul.

As I get closer I can hear that the noise is indeed coming from within the confines of my room. I lay my ear flush against the door and now I also hear a shushing sound. “Sssshhhh….ssshhhh.” My pleas continue as I contemplate opening the door. “Please don’t let it be a murderer. Please help me NOT to die.         OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD,” I continue as I swiftly turn the knob and throw the door open all in one fluid motion while screaming, “YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME!”

It’s important to note that while I am screaming my eyes are glued shut protecting me from having to come eye to eye with my soon to be killer. It’s just way more than I can bear at the moment. 

I’m holding my phone out in front of me as some kind of, I don’t know, shield (?) when I hear the menacing ‘mmmrrrrr’ sound yet again (Why the hell didn’t I grab some sort of weaponry? Now all I’ve got is a phone.  Whatever’s coming next, I deserve it!). With the sheetrock no longer separating me from
it
, the sound becomes at once recognizable and my eyes fly open in surprise. 

“Look at you!” I say dropping to my knees in front of a beautiful, miniature version of Master Chief. 

“Where did you come from sweetie,” I say as I pick her up out of the brown, blanket clad box she’s been sitting in.  

“I brought her for you.” The world stops spinning (I hope that doesn’t change the future or anything). Standing on the other side of my bed is him. The
Him
that I love.  The
Him
that I never, ever want to let out of my sight again. The
Him
who I was sure I would never, ever hear from or see again. It’s THE
HIM
.

“How did you know? Where did you get,” I pick her up and look under her belly to clarify, “her.” I say snuggling the sweet pup up under my chin, where I can get a better smell of her warm, dark puppy head.

“I guess you could say I’ve been keepin’ tabs on you,” he replies, wearing a sad half smile.

“What tabs? Who tabbed on me?” 

“I’ll give you a hint. His name starts with a C and ends with an onnor.”

“Connor?” 

“You’ve gotten quick Cee.”

“I just, I have no words. I claim shock. I need you to keep talking.” I point to my mouth, “Shock mouth.”

“Okay. I can talk.” He thinks while I do the stare thing I’ve become so adept at. “First, I heard about Master, like yesterday.” I cut him off.

“I’m going to need you to not say
like
.” He looks confused and I flick my hand around and reply, “Humor me, it’s a new thing. I’ll explain later.” Maybe. “Still got a shocked mouth here. Keep on with the talking.”

“Master, I heard about yesterday (good boy, no like).  And I left as soon as I got the call. Literally, I flew out
like
two hours later.” 

“One point against you for the
like
usage.” 

“We’re going to have to talk about this later.”

“Agreed.”

“Anyway, Connor wasn’t sure how to tell me and the longer he waited the worse it got. He knew I was going to be mad, which obviously I was, but then he got real stupid and told me not to hurry home. That you were like,”

“Are you serious? There’s goes another point.” He answers my point calculation with an eye roll.

“You’re confusing me, stop. Connor said you were processing or whatever and there was nothing I could do if I came home. But obviously I disagreed and obviously he wasn’t thinking straight.”

“Obviously.” I need to find out if Connor’s smoking the crack rock, because he done lost his mind. 

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I got here as fast as I could and… I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I’m sorry that I haven’t been here. Forgive me.”

Holding the new puppy in my arms I approach him cautiously, afraid that if I move too quickly he’ll disappear like a mirage. When I’m directly under him, looking up into his whisky eyes again at last, I’m able to see him clearly for the first time in a really long time, maybe ever.

“Hey, Hotpants.” He stares.

“Hey, Ash.” I stare. This stare-off is the most intense one I’ve had to date.              He takes the wiggly little cutie from my arms and holds her up to look me in the eyes.

“So. I was thinking. How about we call her Birdie?”  Huh? He sees the confusion on my face and clarifies. “You know? Short for Blackbird? I think Birdie sounds, I don’t know… cute?” I love him. But I’m not so sold on the name, I’ve got another idea. But, I love him. Sigh.

“I love you.” I say before my mind has time to block my naughty mouth.

“I know.” Asshat. Douche. Shitface. Sorry, spontaneous Tourettes Syndrome strikes again.

“Why did you quit me?” I know that’s weird English, leave it.

“I didn’t. The girl, the one from my band, she was kind of secretly controlling my phone. After that whole Selfie incident I never heard from you again. Or so I thought.  She was receiving and answering my texts. I had no idea.  Forgive me.” He says it again.

“I thought she was your new “fav girl”,” I say, using the obnoxious double quote-y fingers I hate so much. 

“Did it make you jealous?” No Der.

“Yes.”

“Good.” S.T.S alert… shithead, butt-munch, summer’s eve lovin’ butt wipe!

“I hate you.”

“Nope. You love me. No take backs remember?”

“From second grade? Yes. I remember.” I grab Birdie (My name makes more sense but I’ll let him have Birdie for just a little longer) and start to walk away.

“Hey! What are you doing? Don’t you walk away from me, Cecilia.” He’s trying to sound tough but it comes off more distressed than anything else. So I turn, showing him mercy.

“Say it.” He knows what I want. He knows me.

“Forcing me to say it isn’t very romantic, you know? It should be spontaneous and maybe even by choice. Not because you said so.”

“But, I do say so.” I can literally not stand the fact that he’s wearing clothes. They’re hurting my eyes.

“I have a better idea.” 

He slips his shirt off (the birds of the world unite, chirping in harmony to salute his perfection). He points to his heart and I see what I’ve been dying to see. The tattoo.  A string of scripted words run from the center of his chest up and over his beautiful shoulder and twist through the rest of his ink, winding downward until they finish at his wrist. He takes my finger and touches it to the soft skin where it begins, in the center of his chest, his heart. 

It reads in hard to see, tiny script; I save this for Her… the Her of my heart… the Girl that I LOVE... the Girl I’m a part… I give up my heart… I give up my soul… the Girl that I LOVE… the girl that I know… come home to me now… I’ll give you control… just please take my heart and for the love of Pete, take care of my soul…

“The girl that you LOVE huh? And, this must be serious if we’re talking about the all capitals kind of love?” I say responding to his sappy poem, my very own douche-y smile in place.

“All capitals
is
serious. There’s nothing more serious than all capitals,” he interjects, wearing a stern expression on his sun-kissed face.

“You think so?”

“I Know so.” As he’s talking he’s lifting my shirt up and over my head, keeping his eyes firmly locked with my own.

“I have something for you.” I say. Not that! (But yes, also that!)

“I’m trying to get it now,” he says leaning forward and brushing his warm lips across my collarbone, which ceremoniously responds to his kiss with gooseflesh.

“That’s not it,” I whisper breathlessly.

“Then I don’t want it,” kiss, lick, suck. Oh Good God…

He walks me back a few steps more until my knees hit the bed and we collectively fall backwards on top of the purple duvet. My body is way ahead of my mind. Hands tug at buttons, feet push off jeans. It’s all very feral and honest and true. Well, that is if honest and true translates to frustrating and sweaty from all this exaggerated over exertion. If so, then yes, it’s honest and true.

“Do you want this?” He says as he pins both of my arms criss-cross above my head.

“I do.” BANG-BANG SHRIMP! 

“Then hold on tight because you’re in for a wild ride, Miss St. May.” I like wild rides! At least I do now. As of today! Can I get a What! What! Come on ladies… WHAT! WHAT! Spontaneous exclamations rule!

“Is that so, Mr. Stevens?” He pushes into my panties with his talented hips and I almost come undone. Wait, I think, there’s more! If the over panties stuff is this good then under the panties stuff is going to be RE-DONKEY-DONK! WHOOP! WHOOP! Again…WHAT!  WHAT!

“God, I missed you,” push up, pull back, push up, pull back. You have
got
to be kidding me.