Sinner (11 page)

Zach

When I walked onto the bus, she took my breath away. I know that sounds cliché, but it’s exactly what happened. Well, more accurately, it felt like someone punched me in the chest. The force of her was almost more than I could bear, but I think I hid it well.

For a moment, it looked like she saw me freeze, but fortunately she didn’t acknowledge it. My arrogance was enough to throw her off my momentary lapse in control, but it’s too bad it was just an act. Right now, I wish I could be as truly awful as my public persona because it would make being so close to her easier.

Josie was like a breath of fresh air, and the way Andy has taken to her makes me believe she’s a good person too. Growing up in the music industry has given her a backbone of steel and a spirited personality that will serve her well on the road.

Looking at her isn’t hard either. Josie knew how to dress the part of rock band tour assistant, but the plain black t-shirt, shredded jeans, and big black boots didn’t hide her luscious curves or her petite stature. She looked like a tiny goddess, and I want to worship at her alter.

“Stop it right now, Zach” I whisper to an empty room.

I could deny what I am feeling until I am blue in the face, but that woman is like gravity. I couldn’t resist her if I wanted to, and I don’t want to. I blew her off today to give me some time to figure out what makes her tick so that when I do make my move, she can’t resist me.

The only problem with my plan is that I don’t especially want to scheme when it comes to her. I get a sense that she’s real, and her gestures of kindness come from the heart. Josie wasn’t trying to get anything from me when she brought me a plate of my favorite foods, she was just being nice. I know it’s her job, but she took the time learn what I like and that means a lot to me.

People who want something from me surround me day in and day out and I’m not sure who my friends are. Andy and my band mates are the only people I am ever sure of, and that makes it hard to get close to anybody new. Everybody wants a piece of Zach Verona the lead singer of Troubled Kids, and what I need is someone who just wants to know me for me.

After today, I know with absolute certainty that person should be Josephine Isabella Harvard. No other woman has ever tripped me up the way this one has, and I’m going to make her mine.

Chapter Two

Josie

The first night of the tour was amazing, and watching the concert from backstage turned me into a fan quickly. Troubled Kids sure can put on a show, and the sold out auditorium of screaming fans tells me that they are the real deal. They may have lost a few fans when they went mainstream, but they didn’t sell out.

Instead, the band is bringing their guitar-heavy sound and rough aesthetic to a group of fans who might not have otherwise listened to them. Zach being gorgeous is a huge part of what attracts new fans. He’s got a raw sex appeal that makes most women want him and most men want to be him.

People take notice of Troubled Kids because of their lead singer’s hauntingly beautiful aesthetic, but they stay because the music is good. I know this business, and I can already see that the band will be playing sold out stadiums by next summer. This tour is the tip of a very large iceberg, and I am even more excited to be a part of it than I was when I was hired for the job.

The after party back at the hotel is crazy. Once again, I sit in a corner and keep Andy company while the two of us sip Diet Cokes. I don’t see Zach anywhere, and I assume he’s in his room screwing groupies. Lord knows there were enough of them desperately trying to get backstage. There are a few dozen of the most attractive ones here now fawning all over the other band members and some of the crew.

“How many of them do you think he’s got in his room?” I jokingly ask Andy.

“Exactly one and I assume by
them
, you mean books. He’s most likely in his room reading again. Once he get’s his teeth in a book, he won’t put it down until he’s done reading it.” Andy says and raises his can of soda for a toast.

“So, why does he want everyone to believe he’s a cocky player if he’s really into quiet evenings of reading?”

“Can you imagine if the word got out that the front man for the world’s most famous rock band was a secret book nerd? He’s got a reputation to maintain.” He says.

“I should check in on him and see if he needs anything. Do you want to come along?” I ask Andy as I get up.

“No thanks, but you should go. Oh, and be nice to him. He likes you.”

“Yeah right. He barely knows I exist.”

“He’s just putting on a show for you, but seriously, he likes you. I can tell”

“I get the feeling he just likes being admired.” I say and roll my eyes. “But, you’re his best friend, and you know him better than anyone else.”

“Give him a chance. I’m not saying you have to marry the guy, or even date him, but being friends would make your job so much easier.”

“I’ll try. That’s the best I can offer right now.” I say and head towards Zach’s dressing room.

I halfway expected to walk in on Zach with some groupie, but he is alone in the room reading a book. He sets it down and raises an eyebrow at me when I close the door behind me.

“You know what women usually want when they come into my dressing room after a concert, don’t you?” He says and flashes me a dirty smile.

“Are they usually your assistant?” I answer trying to sound as annoyed as possible considering how strangely aroused I feel at the notion of having post-concert sex with Zach.

“Sometimes.” He says and laughs.

“I knew it was a mistake to come in here.” I whirl around and start to open the door.

“Wait. Josie, please wait. I was just having a bit of fun. I’m sorry.” He says and gets up. “I got these for you.”

Zach walks over to the dressing table and picks up a pink crystal vase full of white orchids. He walks back over to me and hands the arrangement over. They smell heavenly, and the vase is beautiful.

“These were from a fan or the record company, and you’re re-gifting them to me, aren’t you?” I say dryly.

“You think groupies or the record company is going to send Zach Verona, rock god, flowers in a pink crystal vase?” He has a point.

“But, you were performing all night. How did you get them?”

“You’re not the only assistant on this tour, Josie, but I must say that you’re probably the prettiest.” He says and plays with a wayward auburn ringlet that broke free from my ponytail.

“Thank you.” I say in a hushed whisper.

I can’t believe how much he is unnerving me. I’ve been hit on by rock starts since I was in my late teens, but they never got to me the way Zach is getting to me right now. Something about him seems dangerous, and yet completely genuine at the same time.

“Can I get you anything?” I ask as I try to recover my nerve.

“You know what? They have a Butter Burger in this town. I would love a burger and fries.”

“Sure. I think there is one just up the street. I can get it and be back in like twenty minutes? Would that be alright?” I ask him as I turn to leave.

“Josie. I don’t want you to get it for me. I want you to go with me. Do you like burgers? Of course you do. Everybody likes burgers.” He says and smiles like a big, goofy kid. His smile can be so irresistible sometimes, and it catches me off guard how excited this self-titled
rock god
gets about the little things.

“Oh. I’m sorry. Yeah, okay. Let me just check with the band and put these flowers somewhere safe.”

I kick myself mentally the entire way back to the VIP room. Why didn’t I just tell him no? Why did I agree to have a burger with him? Having dinner with him is very unprofessional, and I need to get my shit together before I make a career-ending mistake.

Since I know what kind of tantrums rock stars, especially the ones who refer to themselves as
rock gods
, can throw, I decide to go through with dinner this one time. I don’t want to deal with the aftermath of backing out, and it’s just a burger joint. It’s not like he asked me out on a date to a five-star restaurant, right? I had better watch myself, or I’m going to become very good at making excuses to give Zach Verona exactly what he wants.

We walk towards the burger place, and I’m a little nervous that we’ll get mobbed by fans if anyone sees us. I feel a better when I look back and there are two huge security guards following close behind. I met them briefly earlier. I think their names are Roger and Cal. Roger is the big one, and Cal is the really big one.

I feel like royalty having the two big men following me around even though I know they’re technically here for Zach. I can see how this rock star stuff can go to your head. I bet we don’t even have to pay for our food.

I’m right. The giggling teenage girl behind the counter tells us our Double Delight Butter Burgers, Fancy Face Fries, and Loco Cocoa Chocolate Shakes are one her. While we wait for our order, Zach autographs a few placemats for the employees and their friends. He also insists on paying for the meal.

“It was very kind of you to sign all of those autographs.” I say to him and take a sip of my shake.

I’m stuffed and I’ve never eaten this much food in front of anyone before, but for some reason, I feel completely relaxed around Zach right now. It feels like we’re just two buddies grabbing a bite to eat.

“The fans are everything, Josie. I know we have to act like we’re the masters of the universe, but without the fans, we’re nothing.” He says and smiles.

“You’re very different than I expected.”

“You don’t know me yet.” He says and signs another placemat.

“This is all very different than I thought it would be. It’s a lot more laid back than I ever imagined.” The words were like a curse.

“That’s because nobody knew we’re here. Looks like they do now.” He says and stands up. “Let’s get going.” Zach takes my hand and pulls me up quickly.

I don’t understand at first, but then I see it. Cars and trucks are filling the restaurant parking lot, and photographers are jumping out and running towards the front entrance. We slip out the side exit, but there is no way to get back to the auditorium without walking past the paparazzi. Roger and Cal flank us on both sides and tell us to hustle.

We make it past the mob and across the street before they spot us. The photographers and ecstatic fans surround us so fast it makes me dizzy. As we try to make our way back, I get shoved twice. The only reason I’m still on my feet is Cal catching me and dragging me along.

“Zach, is this your girlfriend?”

“Zach, are you officially off the market?”

“Do you think your female fans will be disappointed?”

The questions pour out of the crowd faster than anyone could answer them even if they were trying. Zach isn’t trying. He puts his arm around my waist, puts his head down, and soldiers on through the constant flashing of the cameras.

I’m half blind and terrified right now. I’ve seen these types of scenes before, but I’ve always been on the outside looking in at the stars who are in the crosshairs of the fans and photographers. I want to push him away because I know he’s making them think we are together, but I feel better pressed against his side. We’ll just have to have a talk about this when we get back.

When we’re back inside, I feel like laying into him. I shouldn’t be that angry, but my adrenaline is pumping. If I ever thought for a brief moment that I could date a rock star, that mob of paparazzi and fans just proved to me why it’s a terrible idea.

“You let them think I’m your girlfriend.” I say and try to temper my anger.

“Relax, Josie. I just wanted to get us out of there. Besides, is the world thinking you’re mine really the worst thing?”

“When in the history of the world has telling a woman to relax ever actually resulted in her relaxing?” I seethe. “I want to go back to school and get my Master’s Degree, and I want to run my own music management business someday. I can’t be taken seriously in the industry if I’m seen as nothing more than your arm candy of the week.”

“You wouldn’t need to go back to school and run your own business if you were mine. I would take care of you.” He says in a deep voice with his muscular chest puffed out. The word
mine
even sounded like a low growl.

Oh, Lord help me because I am not sure I can handle any caveman, alpha-male behavior right now from this man. “Is that really what you think of me?” I hiss. “Do you see me as the kind of woman who wants a man to take care of her?”

“Josie, please calm down.” He says squaring his shoulders and thrusting his chest out even more.

In addition to his defined chest and what I can only imagine is a tight, six-pack stomach, he’s got big, strong arms too. I can see his leg muscles straining against his jeans, and I realize I have lost my mind. I need to focus. I cannot be swept up in his perfectly sculpted body, so I look up at his face. His big green eyes rimmed with plush lashes are staring right at me.

For the love of all that lives and breathes, Josie, you have to focus. You’re having a fight with this man, not falling in love with him.

“Josie?” Zach says as he reaches out and squeezes my shoulder. “You alright?”

“I’m fine. And, I don’t want to have this conversation with you anymore.” I say and head off to find Andy.