‘Oh, very well.’
Emma wanted to object, wanted to tell the nurse that she didn’t want this man near her daughter, but seeing the excitement on Tinker’s face, she just couldn’t do it. She managed to force a smile towards her daughter before marching out of the ward.
‘Come on, Doris,’ Emma demanded.
‘Can’t we wait for Terry? He’ll be able to give us a lift home.’
‘No, we are
not
waiting. We’ll get the bus.’
‘Look, this is bloody daft. You’ve been in a state so I’ve kept my mouth shut, but now we know that Tinker’s gonna be all right I reckon you can tell me why you sacked Terry.’
‘I’ve got nothing to say.’
‘Christ, you’re a stubborn cow. All right, don’t tell me, but knowing the two of you it was probably just a flash in the pan. Tinker thinks the world of Terry and for her sake I reckon you should let bygones be bygones.’
‘Patricia,’ Emma snapped, ‘she wants to be
called Patricia, and as for letting bygones be bygones, hell will freeze over before that happens. Now come on, there’s a bus coming and if we get a move on we’ll catch it.’
The two women began to run, both breathless as they sank onto a seat. Doris then returned to the subject. ‘Look, one of you has got to make the first move. If you won’t talk to Terry, I will.’ ‘No you won’t. He’s fired and that’s that.’ Doris said nothing and the two women sat in silence for the rest of the journey home.
Terry kissed Tinker on the cheek, sad that he’d arrived too late to stay long. He waved as he left the ward, but on leaving the hospital he couldn’t see any sign of Emma or Doris.
His initial anger had worn off to be replaced by shame. Emma was right. What had happened between them only came about because of her vulnerable state, but once they’d started he’d been unable to stop. When she’d responded to his touch, the years of loving her, wanting her, had drowned out reason. Christ, when it was over, she’d gone mad, and thinking about it now, he didn’t blame her.
Terry sighed heavily as he got into his Ford Zephyr car. Many years ago he’d heard Emma’s history from Doris. She’d had it rough, there was no denying that, but it had hardened her. Anyone
who hurt Emma had been cut out of her life. First her father, then her brothers, and now, with a small, sad shake of his head, Terry knew he’d be joining that list. It was over. He’d watched over her, loved her, stuck around and hoped, but knew now that he had well and truly blown it.
Emma and Doris returned to the hospital at visiting time, but there was still tension between them. They put on a front for Patricia, both glad to see her looking so much better, but the excitement of the move to a children’s ward had obviously worn her out and before six her eyes were already drooping.
‘Why didn’t Terry come to see me again?’ she asked.
‘He’s busy, darling.’
Emma heard Doris’s grunt, but ignored it. She held her daughter’s hand, watching as she drifted off to sleep. ‘Come on, Doris,’ she whispered. ‘We might as well go.’
They kissed Tinker on her cheek, leaving quietly, and soon were on the bus home.
It was Doris who broke the silence. ‘I’m gonna pop down to see Terry before we open up for business.’
Emma’s head turned swiftly, her eyes glaring. ‘I’ve made my decision and I don’t want you interfering.’
‘Who said anything about interfering? Terry’s a mate and I’m going to see him, that’s all.’
‘Fine, but don’t bother trying to act the role of peacemaker. I said I wouldn’t take him back and I mean it.’
When they got off at their stop, Doris said, ‘Right, I’m off. Don’t worry; I’ll be back in time to open up.’
Emma said nothing, her back straight as she turned into the drive. Would Terry tell Doris what had happened between them? God, she hoped not, and once inside the house she paced up and down until Doris returned.
When at last Doris came home, Emma was unable to help blurting out, ‘Well, what did he say?’
‘Not much, just that you’ve fallen out. But you’ll be moving next door soon and I don’t fancy running the business without a man for protection.’
‘Then find someone to replace him.’
‘The girls feel safe with Terry, and all right, I can find someone else but it won’t be the same. There’s Tinker too. Have you thought about how much she’s going to miss him?’
‘Of course I’ve thought about it, but as you pointed out, we’ll be moving next door. It’ll be a fresh start and, though she’ll miss Terry, she’ll get over it.’
‘I doubt that, Emma.’
‘Tinker, I mean Patricia, will be able to bring her friends home. She’ll have a normal life, one where she can do without Terry.’
‘I don’t see why you’re being so bloody stubborn.’
‘Doris, don’t push me. I’ve made my decision and that’s an end to it.’
‘Well I’ve made up my mind too. Either you make it up with Terry, or you can run this place on your own.’
Emma was shocked, but her pride stepped in and she refused to show it. She surged to her feet, hands on hips. ‘If you want to go, that’s fine with me. I don’t need you–or Terry!’
Doris marched from the room, but Emma wasn’t worried. Doris was bluffing, she was sure of it. She sat by the hearth and held her hands towards the fire. Yes, the house next door was ready and after visiting Patricia in the morning she’d start packing, having everything in place for her daughter’s return.
As she gazed at the flames, Terry’s face formed in her mind, but she firmly pushed it away. She didn’t want to think about him, didn’t want to admit that she was missing him. He had dared to touch her body, something she could never forgive. She trembled, remembering how he had made her feel. How could she have enjoyed it?
But you did
, that treacherous voice whispered again. I didn’t. I didn’t, she told herself, refusing to acknowledge the truth.
When she heard the front door slam, puzzled, Emma rose to her feet, hurrying to the window. Her stomach lurched. Doris hadn’t been bluffing. She was leaving, a suitcase clutched in her hand.
Emma struggled to open the window, to call out, but the sash was stiff and by the time she managed, Doris was out of sight. ‘Come back,’ she cried. ‘Doris, come back!’
Frantic, Emma rushed into the hall and out of the house, heedless that she wasn’t wearing a coat as she ran along the road. Where was Doris? Had she turned down one of the side roads?
At last Emma gave up, bending over as she dragged air into her lungs. She saw one of the girls walking towards her, realising with a shock that it was time to open for business. Oh God, she’d have to ask Rose to take the job on, but there was something about the girl, something sly, and takings had been down since she had temporarily taken over Doris’s role. Yet what choice did she have?
Rose reached her side, saying worriedly, ‘Are you all right, Mrs Bell?’
‘Yes, I’m fine, but we have a bit of a problem.’
‘Gawd! Don’t tell me we’ve been raided.’
‘How can we have been raided when we’ve yet to open for business?’
‘Yeah, of course, I didn’t think.’
Emma felt the cold penetrating her clothes and began to hurry back to the house. When they reached the drive she turned to Rose. ‘Doris has gone, leaving us without a hostess. You’ve stood in for her a few times whilst my daughter has been ill, but would you be prepared to take the job on permanently? It would mean working both the afternoon and evening shifts.’
‘Cor, not ’arf, and I don’t mind the extra hours.’
‘Are you sure you can cope?’
‘Of course I can. It ain’t that hard. Like Doris, I just have to greet the punters, let them select a girl and then take their money.’
‘Yes, but as Doris isn’t here, at the close of business, bring the takings to me.’
‘Righto.’ Then, visibly straightening, Rose said, ‘I want the same share of the profits as Doris.’
‘How do you know about our arrangement?’
‘When Doris recruited me, she made it clear from the start that she’s no longer a tom. We all chat between clients and we asked her if she was making the same sort of money. She told us about your little deal, but not how much she was raking in, but I ain’t daft and it didn’t take much working out that she was on a nice little earner.’
‘I see. Very well then, I’ll give you the same percentage as Doris.’
‘Right, I’d best get the ball rolling then.’
‘You’ll need the keys to get in.’ After rushing inside to get them, Emma offered a word of warning as she held them out.
‘Do not
, in
any
circumstances, open the dividing door to my flat.’
‘What if I need you for something?’
‘You can come round to my front door.’
‘Seems daft, if you ask me.’
‘I’m not asking you, Rose.’
They both heard a rustling sound and spun round, staring into the bushes. They remained frozen for a moment but, seeing nothing, Rose shrugged. ‘It was probably a cat,’ she said. ‘Anyway, Mrs Bell, there’s just one thing. I know Terry has gone too, but what about someone to replace him?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. Can you think of anyone suitable?’
‘My brother might be interested,’ Rose said eagerly. ‘He’s done a bit of boxing so knows how to look after himself.’
‘All right, bring him to see me,’ Emma said, anxious to get inside. She had left that side of the business to Doris and was still reeling with shock that she’d gone. Surely she’d come back? In the meantime she just hoped that Rose would be able to cope, and that her brother was suitable.
Emma closed the door behind her, determined that things would be different this time. She had
let Terry become part of the family, allowed him to become too familiar, and look what that had led to! Never again, Emma thought.
To Emma the evening was interminable as she fought her emotions. She wanted to go to bed, to close her mind in sleep. She didn’t want to think about Doris or Terry, but now that they had gone, she felt so very alone. They had become her family, replacing the one she had lost, and the hard shell she had cultivated over so many years began to crack.
There had been so many losses in the past: her mother’s death, her youngest brothers going to Alice Moon, and then her sisters…oh, it had been so many years since she’d seen them. The memories flooded back, memories that, in order to survive, she had fought to repress. The attic, and yes, it had been awful, cold and desolate, but when their mother had been alive there had been happy times. She had tried to deny them; thinking only of bad times when her father returned from the war, but before that there had been laughter, games, giggles as they lay on the mattress vying for blankets. But most of all, there had been love.
Emma’s eyes filled. Next came Luke, dear Luke, and in truth she had missed him the most, but he was now unforgiving in his anger that she was
running a brothel, an anger that matched that of Dick, another brother lost to her.
Emma dashed a hand across her face. She didn’t want to cry, wouldn’t cry. Rising swiftly to her feet, she forced her mind to focus on something else. After all the anguish, the fear that she might lose her precious daughter, Tinker was coming home. Emma ran to prepare her things, folding clothes and putting them into a bag to take to the hospital, all the time fighting to strengthen her resolve, struggling to put the barriers up again.
She’d manage, she’d cope. She had done so before and would do so again. She would never take Terry back, and if there was no other choice, she’d do without Doris too. Emma’s mouth was grim, set. She still had her daughter, the most important person in the world, and in the morning she’d have a word with the builders, pay them to move her furniture next door. Yes, Tinker would be home soon, and moving next door would be a fresh start. It would be all right, wouldn’t it? Surely it would be all right…
The hours passed and, as Rose came to the door, Emma invited her in. She counted the takings, a frown on her face, finally saying, ‘It must have been a quiet night.’
‘Yeah, it was,’ Rose said, her eyes flicking away
and roaming the room. ‘I reckon the cold weather kept the punters away. Blimey, you ain’t half got it nice in here.’
‘There’s a chance that my daughter will be allowed home tomorrow, so I’ll be moving next door.’
‘Will you? What’s going to happen to this flat?’
‘I had promised it to Doris.’
‘Well if she ain’t coming back, can I have it?’
‘No, I don’t think so.’
‘Why not? I’m taking over her job and it would make things easier if I could live on the premises.’
Emma lowered her head, unwilling to accept that Doris wouldn’t return. ‘Give me time to think about it,’ she stalled, ‘and in the meantime, have you any idea where Doris might be?’
Rose shook her head. ‘No, but didn’t she used to live off of Lavender Hill? You could try there.’
‘She gave her mother’s house up when she moved in with me.’
Rose shrugged. ‘Well, I can’t think of anywhere else.’
Emma hid her feelings, handing Rose her share of the takings. ‘Do you think any of the other girls might know where Doris is?’
Rose grabbed the notes avidly, quickly checking them. ‘I don’t think so, but you could ask them.’
‘Yes, I’ll do that.’
‘I’ll say good night then, Mrs Bell, and I’ll have a word with my brother about the minder’s job when I get home.’
She followed Rose to the door, locking it securely behind her, and then returned to the drawing room, banking down the fire. With a last glance around the room, she flicked off the light and went to her bedroom, shivering as she undressed. There was nobody to call good night to, the house empty, desolate, without Doris and Tinker. Emma scrambled into bed, lying in darkness, her ears pricking nervously at any sound.
Hours later Emma was still awake. She tried to console herself with thoughts of Tinker’s homecoming, but it was the early hours of the morning before she finally drifted into an uneasy sleep.
The man was crouched out of view, unmoving until he saw the lights go out. He was freezing, his limbs screaming in pain as he straightened up. There had been a sticky moment earlier when he thought he’d been discovered, but he’d heard their exchange. Huh, a cat, they’d thought, but then again he’d have to be catlike to succeed.