Emptiness boiled in her chest. She felt hollow, gutted by isolation and doubt. “It’s like standing on the outside always looking in. I don’t seem to belong anywhere.”
“Maybe you’re standing on the inside, looking out. There’s a door there, I know. You might consider opening it, letting someone in.”
She shook her head. Tears welled up in her eyes, as years of pent-up emotion boiled over in her chest. She blinked hard, refusing to cry. “Right now’s it’s got to stay closed. Maybe not locked, but closed. Until I’m sure.”
Kenneth nodded. “I can handle that.” He shrugged. “Can’t say that I haven’t got a few hang-ups that need to be examined a little closer.”
Lowering her hands, Tessa inhaled a few shallow breaths to ease the ache building in her chest. “Exactly.” The timing just wasn’t right.
Kenneth looked at her in all seriousness. “Just don’t keep letting the bad times hold you back. Believe it or not, things do get better.” His voice was low and soft.
She swallowed and took another deep breath. “The voice of experience?” Her words came out in a raw, husky whisper.
Standing so close to him made it hard to breathe. The musky scent of their lovemaking still clung to his warm skin, reminding her of everything they’d done. The intoxicating scent filled her with indescribable longing.
He nodded. “Absolutely. Been there, done that. There comes a point when you have to decide to move forward and rebuild your life with the pieces you’ve got left. It isn’t easy, but it’s possible.”
Despite the glimmer of hope, her shoulders drooped. There was so much more to the story he just didn’t know. Her love life, or lack thereof, was just the tip of the iceberg. “Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to do it again.”
Kenneth cocked his head. “I can be patient.” His eyes crinkled slightly when he smiled. “And if you need some help working things through, you know where I’m at, sweetie.” Flicking a quick wink her way, he turned and strode out of her bedroom without saying another word.
Tessa’s jaw dropped. She stared in his wake, speechless.
Sweetie?
Nobody had called her sweetie since her parents were alive, and they’d been in the grave since she was a teenager.
“Absolutely incredible,” she muttered.
Somehow his response reassured. He didn’t get mad and stomp off. Instead, he’d stepped back and given her the space she’d asked for. That’s the way a responsible adult male acted. A man said his piece and stood his ground. He didn’t run off, jump in bed with the first woman who came his way.
She shook her head. Kenneth Randall was too damn good to be true.
Chapter 7
A
ddison immediately sailed into the bedroom with a frown on her face and fire in her eyes. “Are you a nut?”
Still digesting the last few minutes of her conversation with Kenneth, Tessa’s gaze narrowed. “What are you talking about?”
Addison waved her hands. “Hello! I heard everything, and by the sound of it you’re cutting him loose.”
Tessa frowned. “Lot of eavesdropping going on here lately.”
“Uh, yeah. When there’s something as important as this. Getting it on with the hot handyman is as cliché as it comes, but whatever gets you out of your rut is good.”
Tessa felt her face heat.
Unsettling, out of character, and disturbing is more like it
. “We weren’t getting it on.”
Shaking a finger, Addison’s grin widened. “That’s not what it looked like to me, missy, so don’t try to lie. The living room looks like a hurricane hit with full force. If the couch wasn’t sagging before, it damn sure is now. Can’t say I blame you, either. I passed Mr. Hunk in the hall and he’s—” Addison fanned herself with a hand. “Hot! Wow, you could bite a hole through that chest.”
Tessa shook her head, refusing to be baited. “I’m not discussing my sex life with you.”
Addison ignored her. “I want all the details, blow by blow.” She giggled. “I saw the hands on him. Bet he knows how to use them, too.”
Tessa’s already erratic pulse skipped a beat. Tightening her hold on her robe, she stiffened and put on a fierce frown.
The last thing she wanted to do was discuss the incident with her little sister. Sex was a private thing, to be shared between two lovers. Though she cherished her sisters, revealing the intimacies of her sex life was something she’d never consider. She’d always been the oldest, had taken care of the girls after their parents were killed. She had to be the responsible one, the levelheaded one.
And that meant acting like an adult. Though she’d made a mistake, she’d done her best to nip it in the bud. Nothing ever had to happen between her and Kenneth again. At first it would be awkward, but if he couldn’t accept her decision, then he knew how to get off the island.
Addison stuck out her tongue. “Killjoy. This is the best thing that’s happened to you in a long time, and you’re already turning your nose up.”
Her little sister certainly had sharp ears. She hadn’t missed a thing. “I’m not being stuck- up. I simply told him the truth. I’m not ready for anything serious.”
Addison shifted her stance. “I didn’t hear him asking you to marry him, Tess. Right now it looks like all the guy wants is a chance to be with you.”
“He’s been here one day.”
“So? Mom and Dad met on a Friday and married on a Monday. In three days they knew they had something real.”
Tessa cringed. “Well, I guess I don’t spot them as good as Mom did. I thought what I had with Jake was real, and look how that turned out.”
Addison blew out a breath. “Jake was . . . a jerk. He might have been a bad apple, but that doesn’t mean all the fruit has worms.”
“So I’m being a little more careful before I bite this time.”
Addison laughed. “Oh, what a line of bullshit.”
Tessa smacked her sister on the arm. “I’ve heard enough out of you, Addled Brain.”
Addison rubbed her wounded limb. “At least tell me you’re going to give the guy a chance.”
“I don’t know,” she said curtly. “It depends.”
Addison folded her arms over her chest. “On what?”
“On—” Tessa gestured helplessly, then let her arms drop. “Oh, hell. I don’t know.” She sat down on the bed, lowering her head into her hands. “Right now I’m just confused.”
Addison walked over and sat down beside her. “Are you okay?”
Tessa pulled in a deep, slow breath. “He saw me, with my tail on.”
Addison gasped. “He knows you’re a Mer?”
She sat up. “Yes, he knows. I took a swim late last night and he caught me in full shift.”
“Did he freak?”
Tessa shook her head. “He took it pretty well, actually.”
“That’s fabulous!”
Her sister’s response shocked her. Tessa wasn’t sure she heard her correctly. “Fabulous?” she repeated. “He knows about me. About us.”
Addison shrugged. “So what? Is it going to bring him any fame or money?”
It took a moment for Tessa to wrap her head around the implications . . . and realize there were none. She was making a mountain out of a molehill. “Well, probably not.”
“It’s not like other people don’t know about us. Lucky, Jake . . . the guys at the station. Once they get over the idea we have tails, they’re usually pretty cool with it. Plus, they couldn’t supply evidence, even if they wanted to.”
Tessa shot a look at her sister. “The guys you work with know?” Though her sister worked a human’s job, underwater search and rescue, she’d had no idea Addison was close enough to anyone to tell them the truth about their origins.
Addison’s brows hunkered together. “I haven’t told everyone, but I have told a few of the guys. I mean, they know I can get into places a diver with normal gear can’t possibly reach. Someone’s got to watch my back when we’re down that deep.”
Her sister’s confession was an eye-opener.
Tessa had always believed both her sisters to be tight-lipped about their Mer side. Apparently she was wrong. The veil of secrecy was slowly beginning to fall away and she hadn’t even realized it.
“I didn’t think you’d ever tell anyone. I don’t even think Gwen has.”
Addison frowned. “Gwen’s still trying to live and be like a human. But that doesn’t mean she doesn’t play on the folklore about Mer in these waters. Her hotel relies on tourists wanting to come here. Stories of mermaids living in the bay are famous and she does her part by making sure they have plenty of merchandise to buy in the gift shop.”
Tessa twisted her fingers tightly together. “So you think it’s fine Kenneth knows about us?”
“Of course it’s fine. You don’t want to start a new relationship with a secret like that hanging between you.”
Tessa nibbled her bottom lip. “No, I don’t suppose secrets are good for any relationship.”
She could certainly relate. All the while Jake was romancing her, he’d also had a slew of quickies on the side. Yes, he knew all about her. But she’d had no clue about his extracurricular activities until after he’d said good-bye. It vaguely occurred to her he might have done her a favor when he’d dumped her and left town.
Addison skewered her with a pointed look. “Kenneth obviously finds you desirable even though you sometimes look like half a fillet. If a guy can overlook that, he can overlook a lot about your bitchy personality.”
Tessa sniffed. “I’m not a bitch. I just know what I want.”
“Then start going after it. If the attraction is there, take advantage of it. Have fun, and enjoy life for a change.”
She allowed a weak smile. “I’ve been pathetic, haven’t I?”
Addison grinned, showing off the cute split between her front teeth. With her short, spiky red hair and tons of freckles, she looked like a teenager, no older than sixteen, maybe seventeen at the most. Most people found it difficult to believe she was an accomplished EMT and could handle a fire truck just as well as she piloted the rescue boat.
“Beyond pathetic. Snivel-worthy, as a matter of fact. You’ve moped around so much I’ve wanted to put a pillow over your face just to put you out of our misery.”
Tessa regarded her younger sister. At twenty-six years of age, Addison had made a place for herself in a world that didn’t exactly welcome those who were different or special. Gwen, too, had made a place for herself as a local business owner on the mainland.
Only Tessa, the oldest, who should have been the wisest, was floundering.
I haven’t found my place yet
. She wondered if she ever would.
“I guess I really deserved that one.”
Addison made a wringing motion with her hands. “Only ninety percent of the time.”
Tessa sighed. “I’ve been so busy trying to keep things together here,” she said. “Yet everything’s still falling apart around me.”
“The money Mom and Dad left stretched only so far,” Addison reminded her. “Hanging on to the island, putting me and Gwen through college, then having Jake dump all over you. You’ve had a rough time.”
Rubbing her face with her hands, Tessa glanced up at the ceiling. The plaster had begun to flake and crack, rotting away because of a leak in the roof. “This place is falling apart around my ears.” The house needed a lot of repairs. Too many for one person on a limited budget to handle.
“We’ve had a good offer,” Addison ventured. “It would take a lot of pressure off your hands.”
Tessa frowned. She wasn’t really sure Addison understood the implications behind selling. “I know you and Gwen could outvote me and sell if you wanted to, but I think it would be a huge mistake. This place is more than our home; it’s been the home of the Mer since our kind first swam into these waters.”
Addison nodded. “That’s true. But we haven’t prospered here. Most Mer have left these waters behind, moved onto land to integrate with the humans. We’re a dying breed now.”
Tessa glowered at her sister. “Just because we’re facing extinction doesn’t mean we have to roll over and die. Someday we will all have daughters of our own. Are you truly going to deny your child the gift of the sea?”
Her sister’s lips quirked down. “I guess I hadn’t thought of the daughters I might have someday. I’m enjoying my life too much to even think about children now.”
“All I’m saying is that whatever may come, I want my girls to have a place they can feel safe. A bit of land that belongs to them, where they can live in peace if they so choose.”
Addison looked at her. “It’s really important to you, isn’t it?”
Tessa allowed a thin smile. “Important enough that I promise not to fire the handyman.”
“Well, now I have to take it seriously. You think he’ll last more than two weeks?”
Tessa considered. “He’s had a rough time,” she allowed.
“The name seems familiar . . . I’d swear I knew him.”
Tessa pressed her lips together, wondering how much she should tell. Might as well spill. It wasn’t like Addison couldn’t Google him. “That’s the guy I pulled out of the water last year.”
Addison’s brows shot up. “The nut who tried to drown himself?”
Tessa swallowed back her frustration. The question squeezed her heart. “He’s not a nut. His wife had passed away and he needed to work through some problems.”
Hearing her own words, she almost had to stop and shake her head in wonder. How was it she found it so easy to rush to his defense? Kenneth Randall was, for all intents and purposes, a stranger.
Shadows of unease flitted through Addison’s eyes. “You’ve got big problems if you try to fucking off yourself,” she said quietly. Now that she had a few facts, her earlier enthusiasm quickly faded. She’d gone on the defensive. Though they might not always agree, when push came to shove, the Lonike girls always stuck together. “Are you sure he’s stable?”
For a moment air wouldn’t flow through Tessa’s windpipe. She cleared her throat. “We actually talked about it. He’s had some therapy, grief counseling. Right now he’s kind of kicking around, looking for a new place to settle.”