Authors: Laura McNeill
He glanced back. “Dr. Harper.” He tipped his hat. “Nick. Call me if you need anything. Don't hesitate.”
Nick stood in the doorway and nodded. “Yes, sir. Have a good day.”
With a snap of Gaines's fingers, Chief strained at his collar and followed. When the sheriff opened the doors of his squad car and motioned, the dog barked in response and jumped into the backseat.
From the window, Natalie watched Gaines slide into the patrol car and crank the engine, but what she really saw was the sheriff staring down at her. His image was now burned in her mind. It was hatred on his face, pure and unadulterated. Hatred, bordering on obsession.
Surely no sheriff or lawman liked a convicted felon returning to town, but Allie didn't fit the description of a hardened criminal. At least not the ones Natalie had seen on television. She chewed her bottom lip. Her experience, admittedly, was limited.
She put a hand on her heart and exhaled as the vehicle backed up. The wheels crunched on the gravel as the car turned and crept down the driveway, leaving puffs of dust behind.
As Nick came back inside, brushing off his khaki pants, he didn't have to stop or ask what Natalie needed.
This time he locked the deadbolt and set the alarm.
2016
“You know, I thought you'd stand me up again,” Russell said, rising out of his seat to give her a half hug across the café table.
Inhaling his masculine scent and feeling his stubble brush her cheek, Caroline allowed herself to be wrapped up in the embrace. When she withdrew and stepped back to sit down, Russell was staring at her as if she were an exotic jewel on display at a museum.
Her skin warmed as she met his gaze.
“I ordered you a latteâhope you don't mind. You look great,” he said, casting an admiring glance at her hair and bare shoulders under the thin straps of her yellow sundress.
Caroline bit her lip but smiled. “Thanks. I'm not sure how. It's been a rough week.”
“Well, the week's over. And I'm glad you said yes,” Russell said and grinned. “Impressed that I remembered your number?” He tapped his head and winked.
“I am.” Caroline laughed. She couldn't help herself. She smiled back and took a sip from her mug.
Coffee
, she reminded herself. They were just meeting for coffee.
They were sitting outside, under a patio umbrella, watching the birds perch nearby. Overhead, streams of white clouds cut ribbons through the sky. A jet pierced the blue with its silver body. Caroline wished she were on it, going anywhere.
What she was doing now was a close second to getting away from her hometownâsharing a table with a new boy in town. He was cute, friendly, and hadn't grown up in a big mansion in Brunswick, or down the street from Grandpa Paul and Grandma Lily, or around the corner from her high school. He was, as she'd discovered earlier, the new veterinarian's son.
His family had just moved here from the Atlanta suburbs, and Caroline liked that he came from outside Brunswick and St. Simons Island. He had lived somewhere different. In a really big city, one with skyscrapers. He knew that there was a whole wide world outside this little corner of Georgia.
“So tell me about Caroline Marshall,” Russell said, sitting up straighter. He leaned forward and brushed a stray lock of hair out of his eye.
“You haven't finished telling me about you,” Caroline insisted, raising her chin and feeling flirtatious.
Russell rubbed the hint of stubble on his chin and settled back against his chair. He motioned for her to begin, a lazy smile playing across his face. “Fine. Shoot. Ask me anything.”
A swirl of emotions welled up in Caroline. Relief from any scrutiny or a need to measure up. Admiration for Russell's confidence. Appreciation for his good sense of humor. It was refreshing and honest.
They smiled across the table at each other.
“So, you really seem to like volunteering at the nursing home,” Caroline said, breaking the moment. She took a sip of her latte, letting the sweet milk and foam tickle her lips. Her plan was to keep
the conversation about Russell, away from the potholes that made up her own life. She watched as he grabbed his napkin, folding it into quarters.
“I like working with people who've seen so much and have all of these stories to tell,” Russell said. “The exercise and rehab part can really help people perk up and respond, but there's something about spending time with someoneâone-on-oneâthat's just as important. A person has to want to try to move or try to lift his leg a little higher. Without a little incentive, it doesn't matter. People waste away and wait to die.”
“Wow.” Caroline let the word escape in a rushed exhale. The explanation was more than she'd expected, deep, honest, and profound. Caroline felt goose bumps prickle her arms. She shivered, despite the warm breeze, and looked off in the distance, thinking about the people in the nursing home where they worked.
“Aw, I didn't mean to get on a soapbox and talk your ear off.” Russell reddened through his cheeks to the tips of his ears.
Caroline dropped her eyes for a moment, then looked back up. “I think it's great.” She toyed with her mug. “It sounds like how my Grandpa Paul used to talk before he retired.” She tilted her head to one side. “It's so weird. Your parents buying my grandpa's office. It's kind of surreal.” She frowned.
“Yeah. My parents told me about your grandpa. They've heard he's a good doctor and a really good guy.” He looked at Caroline intently. “Can Iâ”
“I don't really want to talk about it,” Caroline cut him off, panicking. He was going to ask her about her mother and prison. Or whether she really killed the man she found in the pharmacy that night. How it felt. So many people had asked. She squeezed her hands together to keep them from shaking.
Russell frowned. “I was going toâ”
“Don't, please.” Caroline winced.
A bird alighted on the table, chirping and fluttering over the crumbs. Russell shooed it away with a gentle sweep of his arm.
“Whoa. Hold on here.” Russell paused and looked at Caroline. “All right. Let me guess.” He leaned back and spread his arms wide. “You're having a meltdown about something. Fight with your best friend? Or school is awful?”
Caroline moved her fingers away from her eyes. She was silent for a moment. Maybe she could trust him. Maybe she'd feel better if she talked about it.
“Well,” she began, “something like that. Some stuff happened.”
Russell watched her, listening.
“A lot of days I want to be invisible. I've tried pretending everything's fine, but nothing's the same. Even my teachers act weird.” Caroline stopped herself, afraid she'd spilled too much already.
Russell frowned. “It won't be like that forever. You'll get out of high school, go to college.”
Caroline lowered her gaze. “I can't even think about tomorrow . . .”
A light gust of wind rustled through the hanging baskets, each dripping with ivy and trailing cones of blues and purple blossoms. The motion lifted the corners of the napkins on the table, sent the check flying. Russell leaped up and grabbed it after several steps.
“Got it,” he exclaimed, beaming as he turned back toward the table.
“Nice catch.” Caroline forced a bright look, trying to shake the angst bubbling up in her chest.
Russell sat back down and squinted over his mug, watching her.
“So, school sucks, you're stressed out, and everyone's acting weird.” He tapped his chin, then met her eyes. “Are your mom and dad splitting up?”
“Not even close.” Caroline was surprised and relieved that he didn't know. “I've never even met my dad.”
Across from her, Russell wrinkled his forehead. “All right. Go ahead and tell me.”
“You really haven't heard?” Caroline said, suspicious.
He shrugged. “Let me hear it from you.”
Caroline sucked in her breath and unloaded. “My mom's a-a convicted felon.” She bit her lip. “She went to prison ten years ago for supposedly killing a manâthe man who used to be the coach of the high school football team.”
Without flinching, Russell kept his eyes on Caroline's face.
“No one actually saw it happen, and there wasn't much for the cops to go on. A tiny bit of forensic stuff. A 9-1-1 call that put her at the scene.” Caroline swallowed. “They fought it, my mom and my family did. But the jury convicted her. She was sentenced to sixteen years, but was paroled early and got home, like, last week.”
“Okay,” Russell said. He didn't look away.
“While she was away, I lived with my grandparents at first, and then moved in with my aunt.” Caroline traced the handle of her mug. “Emma, my aunt, she's pretty chill. Like she worries and everything, but it's not awful.”
With a smile, Russell nodded for her to go on.
“Now my mom's out and wants to see me.” She chewed her lip and hesitated. “And I just can't do it.”
Russell put his elbows on the table and leaned in. “Things may look different in another month or two. Once things settle down. I know you don't think so, but you'll get through this.”
Caroline picked up her cup, swirled the caramel-colored liquid. “I thought volunteering at the nursing home would keep me busy and get my mind off things.”
“And?” Russell asked.
She shrugged.
He waited a beat or two. “Are you doing it just to avoid your mom?”
Caroline offered a guilty look, wrinkled her nose. “Maybe at first. Now I really like it.”
“Good.” Russell ran a hand through his hair. “I'm not saying don't volunteer. I think everyone should do it. When I go in that place, I am always so grateful that I can walk and run, that I'm not in a wheelchair.” Russell picked up his bagel and took a bite.
“I know,” she answered.
Russell looked at Caroline as he chewed. When he finished, he squinted at her. “The stuff about your mom, that's messed up,” he said. “But what do they say? There are two sides to every story? And I'm sure she cares about you and wants to make things right.”
“You think so?” Caroline swallowed hard. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end.
“It's a guess.”
Caroline considered this. “Well, I'm not sure. And a lot of times I don't want to be thankful,” she said, raising her voice. “I'm so mad at her and the world that I want to scream sometimes. When she was gone, it was better. I could just pretend that Emma was my mom, that nothing happened.”
Russell wrinkled his brow.
“I don't know if I ever can forgive her. For doing it. For leaving me.” Caroline squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead.
Russell was silent for a moment. “Pretending helps for a while. But you get to a point when it's easier to face it and go on. Take it from someone who has been on the other side; it's pretty lonely and awful there too.”
Caroline frowned, half listening. “You have no idea.” This wasn't how she wanted to spend her day. She'd trusted him, and
he'd turned on her already, telling her what to do. She stood up, sloshing her coffee. “Look, I really need to get back. Homework. I have a paper due.”
Russell tilted his head and locked eyes with Caroline. “Are you sure?”
She felt herself starting to melt, just a little, until she reminded herself that he'd probably do the same thing Jake had done. Drop her and walk away. And Russell wasn't even her boyfriend.
“Come on,” Caroline said softly. “Just forget it.” They stared at each other in silence until she lowered her eyes to the ground. She stayed focused on a crack in the sidewalk until Russell spoke.
“It's okay.”
Caroline looked up as Russell pulled out his wallet and held up the check. “I'll take care of this. You go do what you need to do.” He paused, forehead creased, and put a hand on the table. “If you change your mind, Caroline, and need to talk, just give me a call. I understand a lot more than you think.”
A stab of panic hit Caroline. Maybe Russell was different from Jake. Maybe he understood. Maybe he actually
got
her and wanted to listen. And she'd hurt him. It was all over his face. The moment she opened her mouth to try to apologize, another couple wandered up and sat down at a table nearby as Russell pushed back his chair, stood up, and walked away.
Heart pained, Caroline watched him go around the corner, into the restaurant. Tears blurring her eyes, she sat back down outside, alone. Russell wasn't going to plead with her or beg. He didn't play games. She told him she had to go and he listened.
The sun moved across the sky, a burst of amber and gold. The rays warmed her shoulders, hit the surface of the table and her water glass. The ice melted into slivers, then disappeared.
She reached a hand into her bag, feeling for her cell and
earphones. She slipped them on, and for a few moments, she allowed herself to drift.
Nowhere to go and no way out. We're underground, no voice to shout. Buried beneath our own demise. You left, left, left. You left me. Good-bye.
The lyrics reverberated in her ears; the strains of music played.
Caroline shifted her eyes back up, blinking against the sun. It was hard to see the couple nearby, talking behind their menu. The woman laughed, threw back her head, then leaned over and kissed her dateâmaybe her husbandâwhoever he was. Shielding herself, Caroline put her back to the couple. She curled up in the chair, hugging her knees to her chest while she breathed in the music.
You left, left, left.
Everyone did. Despite what they said or promised. Her father. Her mother. Jake and Maddie. Now Russell.
You left me. Good-bye.
2016
At home, after finishing the final tweaks on a client's website, Emma's mind turned to Allie and Caroline. Her niece was so stressed, so upset, and barely eating. She had to think hardâcome up with a new solution to drive her sister out of their lives for good. As for Caroline's ex-friend Maddie . . . Emma's hands curled into fists . . . Well, that could be handled later. She would deal with Allie first.