Tom
agreed to stay in the area until she was found and took me back to my house a little after five.
‘
I wouldn’t half mind a coffee,’ he said when we got in. ‘Why don’t you put the kettle on?’
‘
Why don’t you?’ I said. I felt I could afford to say it now.
‘
Because I need to take a leak. Stupid expression,’ he continued as he made for the stairs. ‘How can you
take
a leak? But that’s the Americans for you.’
I
’d just turned the tap on when I heard a thump upstairs. I turned the tap off, put the kettle down and went back into the living-room.
‘
Tom …?’ then I heard him coming down.
She
appeared at the bottom of the stairs. In her hand, Tom’s gun was pointing at my midriff.
‘Back, Sister.’
‘
What have you done to Tom?’
‘
Back.’ She gesticulated with the gun and I shifted a couple of paces. ‘D’you have string?’
She
must have knocked him out. ‘I — no …’
‘
Tape?’
‘
Only Sellotape,’ I said, remembering how we hadn’t bothered to set a marker on the door.
‘
Where?’
‘
In the kitchen.’
‘
Get it, quickly.’
She
followed me to the door and watched as I took the roll from the drawer.
‘
Upstairs, to the bathroom. Quickly.’
I
went as slowly as I dared, in case there was a chance he might recover, but he was stretched on the floor, not moving. Beside him lay the bottle of bath salts she must have hit him with.
‘
Tape his wrists,’ she ordered.
‘
I ought to check his pulse.’
‘
After you’ve taped him. Go on. I’m watching you.’
Taping
a person up is not something I’ve had much experience with, so I didn’t have to pretend to fumble.
‘
Make it tighter than that,’ she ordered. ‘Wind it round between his wrists and pull it tight. Go on, do it.’
I
passed the roll between his arms a couple of times and pulled, tightening the turns I’d already made.
‘
Harder … Now make it fast.’
She
threw me a pair of nail scissors, then told me to move back while she checked it.
‘
Now his feet. Go on.’
I
repeated the performance on his ankles.
‘
Now drag him downstairs.’
‘
How can I —?’
‘
You’ve had enough practice moving patients, Sister. Do it.’
I
put my hands under his shoulders and pulled. He was heavier than he looked, but I managed to get him through the door and to the top of the stairs.
‘
I’ll go down first; you pull him after.’
‘
But what if —?’
‘
Just do it.’
I
wondered for a moment about pulling him hard enough to send us both rolling into her, but she went down nearly to the bottom.
‘
Go on, pull him.’
It
was as he bumped over the first step that he let out a small groan and I felt a surge of relief — at least he was still alive.
She
made me drag him to the middle of the floor before telling me to sit on the sofa.
‘
Lean back … that’s right.’
It
was the first chance I’d had to look at her properly. She was the same, superficially. The same flat features and mousy hair, still the same quiet voice, although there was a new edge to it now … but the main difference was in her eyes; they met mine defiantly, as though she was challenging me, trying to stare me down.
I
felt compelled to say something. I said, ‘They’re going to find you sooner or later, Susan. Why make it worse for yourself?’
Her
lips moved slightly in what might have been a smile.
‘
How could it be any worse?’
What
could I say without provoking her?
‘
Susan, if you give yourself up, I promise I’ll try and help you. I won’t make anything of this’ — I indicated Tom and the gun — ‘and I’ll be a witness on your behalf.’
‘
I’d still go to prison.’
Now,
the difficult bit …
‘
I don’t think so, Susan.’
This
time she really did smile.
‘
You mean a hospital. A so-called hospital. For the insane. There’s only one problem there, Sister — I’m not mad. I’ve known perfectly well what I was doing from the start.’
My
tongue touched my lips. They felt very dry. Keep her talking. They like to talk …
‘
Why
did
you do it, Susan?’
‘
Somebody had to.’
‘
But why?’
‘
You
know
why.’
‘
I don’t, really.’
She
blinked rapidly a few times, then took a breath and she began, haltingly at first: ‘Everything’s a mess. Corrupt. The whole world. This country. People in Africa starving, but the richer we get, the more greedy we get. It all springs from selfishness and indulgence and greed …’ Her eyes slid away from me for a moment, her mouth still open; I tensed, but as though she’d felt it, her eyes flicked back to me.
‘
I agree with you, Sus —’
‘
Do you? Are you any better than the rest?’ She sucked in a breath. ‘Oh, perhaps you are, a bit. It all comes down to Godlessness, you see. Greed comes from Godlessness. People look around and think that what they see is all there is, so they try and snatch as much of it as they can for themselves. While people can
see
God, they are reminded of their duties, their obligations; they stay on the path and — I suppose you think this is funny?’
I
never felt less like laughing in my life.
‘
No, Susan, I don’t, but —’
Her
eyes gleamed with a momentary cunning. ‘You’re just saying that because you’re frightened I might kill you, too.’
‘
Of course I’m frightened, but I said it because I understand, and —’
‘
Understand what?’
‘
What you mean, and why you did the things you —’
‘
I
had
to.’ She spoke with a sudden change of emphasis, like a teacher speaking to a child. ‘A person may lose God, that happens, but it’s a thing to be sorry about, ashamed of. To be silent about, not to boast … These people, by proclaiming their Godlessness, they undermine those who waver, who might otherwise have found God again and …’ She broke off, her lips opening slightly and shutting a few times.
I
said, ‘Susan, if you give yourself up and explain that, then no harm will come to you. I can promise you that.’
Again,
the fleeting look of cunning. ‘But my work. I wouldn’t be able to continue my work …’
I
closed my eyes for a moment, then said, ‘Susan, do you really think that God wants you to go on killing people?’
‘
Of course.’ No hesitation. ‘It says so in the Bible.’ Then, slowly, almost like a mantra: ‘The wages of sin is death. Death.’
I
swallowed. ‘But —’
The
phone rang.
I
looked at her.
She
said, ‘Don’t answer it.’
‘
They know she’s here,’ said a man’s voice. Tom. ‘They’ll only come round looking for her if she doesn’t answer it.’
Her
tongue touched her lips. ‘Tell them you were in the bath. You’ll ring back later.’
I
stretched over and picked it up.
‘
Hello?’
‘
Sister Farewell?’
‘
Yes?’
‘
Took yer time, didn’t you?’ Sutton.
‘
I was in the bath.’
‘
Sorry. Is Jones there?’
‘
No, I’m afraid she isn’t.’
‘
I said, is
Jones
there?’
‘
I know. She’s not here. I think she’s on a nursing shift.’
‘
You aw right?’
‘
No, I’m not’ — Susan was gesticulating — ‘I must go now. I’ll tell her you rang if she contacts me. Goodbye.’ I put the phone down.
‘
Who was it?’ Susan demanded.
‘
A boyfriend of Mary’s. Sister Tamworth.’
‘
Why did he ring here?’
‘
He’d tried her flat, and she’s often here.’
‘
You told them she was on duty. She’s not on duty …’
‘
I know. It was all I could think of.’
‘
She’s profane — Sister Tamworth.’
‘
She’s … lost,’ I said.
She
sat back in her chair and looked at us in silence. Tom’s gun in her hand never wavered. I hoped that Tom wouldn’t say anything more …
He
said, ‘You realize that someone’s going to look for us sooner or later?’
‘
Yes. By then, I will be gone.’
Panic
was beginning to steal over me. ‘D’you want us to help you, Susan?’
‘
You will help me,’ she said flatly.
‘
Yes.’
‘
Do you have a passport?’
‘
Yes.’
‘
How old?’
‘
Er — five years.’
‘
Where is it?’
‘
In my desk. Upstairs.’
‘
Credit cards?’
‘
Yes.’
‘
How many?’
‘
Two.’
‘
Car documents?’
‘
Yes.’
She
said, ‘Is that your natural hair colour?’
‘
Almost.’ I’d said it before I realized what she was getting at.
‘
So you’ve got some hair dye?’
Sick,
appalled, I said, ‘Not dye, no. A tinting compound, that’s all.’
‘
We’ll go up and look. Now.’
After
a moment’s hesitation, I got to my feet. I was shaking all over. She waved me forward with the gun. I went upstairs. Would Tom be able to work himself free …?
Into
the bathroom.
‘
All my hair things are in there,’ I said, indicating the wall cabinet. My voice was shaking too.
‘
Open it.’
I
did so. She pushed the contents aside, knocking some to the floor. No dye.
‘
It doesn’t matter. I’ll get some later.’
‘
Susan’ — I couldn’t stop myself — ‘are you going to kill us?’
‘
Why should I do that? I just need to get away from this area.’
I
pretended to believe her. I might have actually believed her were it not for the pure animal cunning that fleeted through her eyes again …
She
made me find my passport and other documents and we were at the top of the stairs when the doorbell rang.
She
stiffened. ‘Who would that be?’
‘
I don’t know.’
‘
Sister Tamworth’s boyfriend?’
‘
It could be.’
Her
mouth opened and closed again.
‘
Don’t let them in. Say you’re not well, whoever it is.’
We
went down the stairs. Tom didn’t seem to have moved. Our eyes met as I passed him on the way to the door, Susan behind me.
‘
Remember,’ she hissed, ‘I’ve got nothing to lose.’ She moved behind the door.
My
hand was on the latch as the bell pealed again. I opened the door on to the chain.