Sisters of the Quilt Trilogy (108 page)

Paul held up a finger. “While you look at that and figure out what I’m working on, I need to get something from my office.” He stopped at the door and then returned to her. Lifting her face toward his, he studied her. “You’re here.”

She nodded, choking on fresh tears.

“You’re really here.”

Tears spilled down her cheeks. He placed his hands on her shoulders, his eyes glistening and a gentle smile covering his face. “I’ll be back …”

She looked over the papers, chills covering her as she realized what he was up to. He came back into the office with a shirt box and set it to the side.

Had he been expecting her?

He couldn’t have, so how did he have a gift for her?

She studied the info spread out in front of her.

“Do you know what you’re looking at?”

“Plans for a clinic.”

“Not just a clinic. One that will be designed and staffed as an Amish and Plain facility.”

Her heart was pounding so hard she could hear it echoing against her eardrums.

Paul pulled out a chair for her. “It’ll take a couple of years, but the board has already voted to turn the guesthouse into an Amish clinic. We have few patients who need to stay there, so allocating that building for housing isn’t the best use of it. When you returned in September, my eyes began to be opened to the difference a medical facility for the Plain community would make, more so for the local Amish than Mennonite. I’m not sure how we’ll staff it with a doctor and all, but we have plenty of time to work on filling each position.”

Remembering years back, before Paul or anyone but her parents knew her secret, she’d felt as if she’d become an empty kerosene lamp, the outward part of no use without its fuel. Oh, how she’d longed for Paul to know everything about her and still love her. How she’d desperately needed to find one thing she was good at and hold on to it. And now all those things were hers. Was this really happening?

“I want to get a bachelor’s of science degree in nursing. I just need to know all I can in that field and mix it with all we know of being Plain.”

“The board will want you to become a member and use your knowledge and influence, if you will.”

“Of course I will.”

“Then we’ll begin raising money. By the time the clinic is ready to open with all the equipment and supplies purchased, staff hired, and licenses acquired, you’ll have your degree.”

Paul shifted the box he’d brought in, placing it in front of her, but she couldn’t move. He lifted the lid off the box. “Remember House of Grace?”

Powerless to answer, she watched as he picked up photos of a little girl.

“We’ve been her sponsor for nearly three years now. Look.” Paul took out a couple of handmade cloth pouches with cross-stitching around the border.

After running her fingers across the fabric in his hand, she reached into the box and pulled out a large stack of drawings on colored paper.

“She creates pictures from the markers, crayons, watercolors, and stacks of paper we send.”

“We?” Hannah choked.

Paul sifted through some of the items in the box until he pulled out one beige paper, a letter from Global Servants. It had Paul Waddell and Hannah Lapp listed as the sponsors.

Hannah closed her eyes, trying to absorb it all. He’d not only waited, but he’d remained faithful to the things they’d begun. Speechless, she returned to looking at the girl’s handiwork. The young girl had amazing talent for drawing and painting. Absolute giftedness. Hannah laid one aside and looked at another until she came to a card the girl had made. She’d drawn a beautiful picture of a home with yellow light streaming from the windows. It said:

I love you.
A-Yom

“We’ll have children, Hannah. Maybe never our own, but this earth isn’t lacking for those who need someone to love them.”

Hannah stood. “Am I dreaming?”

Paul moved in close, staring into her eyes as if he was unsure too. “I keep thinking the same thing. It may take years of waking to find you near to convince me it’s all real.” He wound around his fingers the wisps of her curls that had broken free of their confines. “You’re here. It’s a gift that came with a high price. I’ll never forget that.”

She couldn’t tell him she loved him, not yet, probably not until Martin was past being so angry with her and had moved on. But she didn’t have to. He got it. Just as Sarah had said, Paul saw her.

He studied her. “When you said ‘too soon,’ you meant we can spend time together as friends but nothing too serious for now, right?”

In everyway he understood her. “Yes.”

“Good. This will be a holiday like no other.”

Removing a loaf of bread from the oven, Hannah could feel Paul’s eyes on her. Laughter and voices gently roamed through Gram’s kitchen from the living room, where the group played board games. Friday nights seemed to bring a new tradition for Paul and her—dinner and games with friends.

Luke and Mary were here with Amanda. Sarah had come with them. Matthew and Kathryn wandered in an hour ago. Unlike the gatherings with the band, Hannah connected here—even when the guests were Paul’s friends whom she barely knew. She glanced his way. With his shoulder resting against the doorframe, he watched her, saying everything she wanted to hear.

Since Hannah had arrived two months ago, she’d fallen so deep for Paul her mind couldn’t comprehend it. The first few nights she was back, they’d stayed near the roaring fire here at Gram’s, talking until Hannah fell asleep on the couch. More than once she’d awakened to find Paul sitting in a chair, sipping coffee and watching her.

She had hundreds of memories packed inside these past two months. She’d taken and passed her state board exams. But she’d missed the application deadline for entering nursing school this winter, so she and Paul were putting their free time to good use.

In spite of the cold weather, they’d gone to the beach, and for the first time in her life she saw the ocean. They’d gone sledding with Matthew and Kathryn, spent time with their friends and family, and shared quiet evenings talking. They’d driven to what had once been his college campus and might become hers too. She’d enjoyed the state museum in Harrisburg so much they’d been three times already, and they’d also gone to City Island. They took a trip to Alliance’s train depot, her beloved cabin, and Dr. Lehman’s clinic. Paul had met all the women from the Tuesday quiltings. The women were beside themselves to learn she’d returned to the Plain sect, even if it wasn’t Old Order Amish. They’d spent time in old town Alliance, hoping to find Kendrick, the young man who’d kept her from freezing to death when she’d landed in Ohio nearly three years ago in the dead of winter. She’d been so busy trying to survive and to put the past behind her that she’d given little thought to Kendrick over the years. But Paul wanted to find him, to thank him and to see if there was anything they could do for him.

Each outing caused the gaping hole of their time apart to close a little more, and now it seemed as thin as a hairline fracture. Paul had asked nothing of her emotionally—not for commitments, or plans, or words of love. But no one read her heart more than Paul, and he had to know she loved him completely. Out of respect for Martin, she’d kept herself in check and not kissed Paul, but her desire to marry him grew by the day.

The first visit to his parents’ home started out awkwardly, but clearly she was welcomed by his dad, sister, and brother-in-law. His uncle Samuel came by just to meet her, and he’d more than made up for the hint of standoffishness that Paul’s mother, Hazel, gave off. By the end of the evening, his mother was warming up a bit, and Hannah was fairly confident they would eventually become friends on some level. Whatever vibes Hazel gave off, they were friendlier than what Paul was likely to ever receive from her Daed. But Paul and she were together, and aside from the ache harbored in her heart concerning Kevin and Lissa and the regret she held for the hurt she’d caused Martin, no one else’s likes or dislikes regarding this relationship mattered.

As amazing and healing as the last two months with Paul had been, she wanted to know how Martin was doing. Kevin and Lissa called her from Laura’s or Martin’s cell regularly, and she shared in a few minutes of their lives each time. With Laura’s help, they e-mailed her photos and called to talk to her about them.

Paul strolled into the kitchen. “What do you think about getting a rescued pup from Sarah after she’s done some training and she’s ready to put the first ones up for adoption?”

Her cell phone rang, and she pulled it from her dress pocket. The caller ID said it was Martin’s phone. “It’s Kevin or Lissa.”

Paul nodded. “Absolutely. Answer it.”

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me. Got a minute?”

Martin sounded upbeat, and hope that he’d weathered the worst spread throughout her. “Sure. Give me a few seconds.” She hit the Mute button. “It’s Martin.”

“You’ll want somewhere quiet.” Paul motioned to the back door and helped her slip into her coat.

Walking across the back porch, she took the phone off mute and put it to her ear. Solid white lay across the fields, the night silent as new snow fell from the black sky. “I’m here.” Snow crunched under her feet as she went into the yard. She waited for him to speak, praying he’d forgiven her and was ready to embrace happiness again.

“We’re gearing up here for a musical blowout. It’s a celebration because I received notice earlier today that I passed my engineering exams.”

“Congratulations! Although I never doubted you would. Was Hawaii every bit as glorious as you’d hoped?”

“It was even better.”

“I’m glad you weren’t disappointed. Kevin and Lissa haven’t stopped talking about it yet.”

Silence hung, and she waited.

“I, uh, I get it, Hannah. I mean, I’m the one who ended things, and I understood even before that, but now all of it makes sense. I’d always banked that with enough time and gentle pressure, you’d become a perfect fit. When I talked you into moving out of the cabin or the dozens of other things I was always pushing you to do, my hope was to get you comfortable in my world.”

She figured this was his way of telling her she was right to return to Paul and he was ready to move on. Relief eased its way through her, and tears blurred her vision.

A knock on a door filtered through the line.

“It’s open,” Martin said.

Hannah couldn’t hear all the words being spoken to him, but it sounded like Amy Clarke’s voice, telling him where she’d be when he was off the phone.

“Okay, I’ll be there in a minute. Listen, Hannah, Kevin and Lissa are asking a lot about seeing you. They’re off next Thursday and Friday. You could take them through the weekend too, unless you’re schedule isn’t free.”

“Really?” Her resolve broke, and she sobbed.

He had to be doing a lot better. Before he left for Hawaii, he wouldn’t even hint that he might let her see Kevin and Lissa again, but now, if they wanted to see her, he’d allow it. The plan would need to fit around his schedule, which seemed more than fair, and exhilaration danced within her.

“You know, if you could stop crying …”

She wiped her tears, trying to contain her excitement and relief. “Sorry. Go ahead.”

“I just figured you needed to know I’m fine.” He paused. “No, I’m better than fine now. I know we’re both right where we’re supposed to be.”

As if boulders were being removed, guilt lifted, and she couldn’t find her voice.

“Nothing meant more to Zabeth than keeping the Palmer family together as much as possible. She grew too weak and died before that happened, but you came in, and … well, you finished what she began, and now Kevin, Lissa, and I are a family. If it took falling for you for that to happen, I’d do it again.”

“Thank you, Martin.”

“Just give Laura a call next week, and she’ll meet you with the children at the cabin or the clinic or wherever. Okay?”

“I’ll be grateful for this forever.”

“Back at you. Bye.”

Closing her eyes, she shut her phone. Like the snowfall around her, memories seemed to swirl and land gently in random places. As much as she grieved for the pain she’d caused Martin, she could never regret the privilege of being by Zabeth’s side—a dying, shunned woman, desperate to hold together whatever could be salvaged in the Palmer family.

Maybe Martin was right; she’d helped change him, and because of that, he was firmly rooted in Kevin’s and Lissa’s lives.

God was able to bring good out of tragedy, missteps, and even stupid mistakes. Gazing into the snowy dark sky, she trusted God more than ever. “Nevertheless.”

Wanting to see Paul alone for a minute before joining the others, she opened her cell phone and called him.

“Hey, you can’t win if you’re not in here to play.”

“Meaning you’re losing for the both of us.”

The back door opened, and Paul walked across the porch and into the yard. “Something like that, yeah.” With one look at her, a smile crossed his handsome face. He tucked his phone back into his pocket. “That was a good call.”

She stretched her arms out and twirled around before she ran to him and threw her arms around his neck, laughing.