Sisters of the Quilt Trilogy (39 page)

Perry County, Pennsylvania

G
rumbling to herself, Sarah grabbed her winter shawl off the peg and headed out the back door to fetch a load of wood. Early morning sun gleamed against the fresh layer of snow. As she made her way to the lean-to, the strange events of yesterday weighed heavy.

She tracked snow onto the dirt floor of the covered shed as she crossed to the stacked woodpile. Placing a split log in the crook of one arm, she mumbled complaints about Samuel not getting his chores done last night.
Daed
would hear about this.

The sound of a horse and buggy approaching made her turn. Matthew Esh was driving, and his mother, Naomi, sat beside him. As Sarah stood under the lean-to, watching them get out of the buggy, Matthew spotted her.

He dipped his head to come under the low roof. “Sarah.” He nodded his greeting rather coldly, then without another word proceeded to stack firewood in the crook of his arm.

Of course he has nothing to say to me
.

He was Hannah’s friend. And once a man saw the perfect beauty and poise of Sarah’s older sister, he never glanced her way again.

Daed came out of the barn and spoke to Naomi for a moment before taking the horse by the lead. He motioned for her to go into the house. Through the open double doors to the barn, Sarah could see Levi still mucking it out after milking the cows and wondered where Luke was. Before she thought to ask Matthew what he and his mother were doing here, he strode down the hill toward her home. Sarah followed in silence.

When she entered, her three younger siblings were eating at the kitchen table.

Naomi stood in front of the wood stove, warming her hands. “It’s awful bitter out there.” Her voice sounded different today.

Matthew unloaded the wood and headed out the back door again.

“
Ya
, it is cold.” Sarah dropped a couple of split logs into the woodbin and closed the lid. “The potbellied stove has been eating wood like it’s candy, and the house is still a little cool.”

A few minutes later Daed stalked into the kitchen from the coatroom, looking no one in the eye. Since he’d pulled off his mucky work boots, only his black woolen socks covered his feet. “Sarah, fix a pot of coffee while I fetch your mother.”

Matthew came in the back door with wood piled so high in his arms he could barely see over it. Sarah moved to the woodbin and lifted the lid. Then she removed a few sticks off the top of his load.

“That’s all right, Sarah. I got it.” Matthew’s words were void of his usual warmth.

Normally, from the moment Naomi and Matthew arrived, he and her father engaged in easy banter about horses, cows, and such. But this didn’t have the feel of a normal conversation.

Sarah decided her best chance of being allowed to stay and hear a few bits of gossip was to get something into the oven as quickly as possible. After putting the coffee on to brew and filling the cups with hot tap water to warm them, she began kneading the batch of sourdough that Esther had made and set out to rise last night.

When
Mamm
and Daed came into the kitchen, they said nothing to her about leaving. But they told Esther, Rebecca, and Samuel to take their breakfast upstairs and stay there until someone called for them.

By the time Sarah returned from helping Esther get their two youngest siblings up the steps with their plates of food and drinks, the coffee was almost ready. She set the cream and sugar on the table before dumping the water from the cups down the drain and pouring the fresh brew. Placing a mug in front of each person, she was relieved that she seemed invisible to them. While they fixed their coffee, she placed a few leftover cinnamon rolls from breakfast on the table. The long, awkward silence in the room made her wonder if any of them would say what was on their minds before she was banned to the upstairs with the others.

Daed tapped his spoon against the rim of his cup and focused on Naomi. “I suppose this visit is about Hannah.”

Watching everyone out of the corner of her eye, Sarah stood quietly at the counter, molding a handful of dough into a dinner roll. Her insides quivered. Just the thought of Hannah’s fall from on high made her feel guilty as well as triumphant.

Naomi cleared her throat. “I think the community was kept in the dark about the … about Hannah’s secret for far too long.”

Hannah’s secret? The wad of dough in Sarah’s hands plopped onto the floor. She grabbed it up.

“Sarah.” Her father’s voice vibrated the room.

She wheeled around. “Yes, Daed?”

“You shouldn’t be in here.”

She wanted to beg for permission to stay, but the look in Daed’s eyes kept her from asking.

Matthew pushed his coffee cup to the center of the table. “Zeb, there’s no keepin’ what’s taken place a secret. If ya don’t share it, your children will have to rely on the rumors they’ll hear to try to figure things out.” Matthew closed his eyes and drew a deep breath before opening them again. “But this is your home and your family.”

Her father clicked his tongue but gave a slight nod, letting Sarah know she could stay.

Naomi smoothed the front of her apron. “I’ve never seen our bishop so set in his mind against a body like he was Hannah. It was his and the preachers’ stand concerning anything she said that made them force her to stay alone …”

Sarah couldn’t catch a breath. She’d gone to the bishop and told him things about Hannah, but surely that wasn’t what had caused this trouble.

Daed pushed his coffee mug away. “What new actions by my eldest daughter have caused you to come see me?”

Naomi looked to her son briefly. “Zeb, Ruth.” She paused. “I hope you can find it within your hearts to forgive me.”

Mamm’s eyes opened wide. “Forgive you? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Daed glanced at Sarah. “We all know the tricks Hannah pulls. Don’t take on guilt for her.”

Sarah turned her back as if she hadn’t heard him and washed the dough off her hands, hoping this conversation wouldn’t end up pointing a finger in her direction.

He continued. “If you’ve come here thinking something is your fault, you’re wrong. No one can take blame for the birth except Hannah herself.”

Sarah turned to face her mother. “Hannah has a baby?”

Her mother stared blankly at the table. “Don’t repeat that, Sarah.”

Matthew rose from his seat. “None of what’s happened is gonna stay a secret.” He pointed Sarah toward the bench seat. “I think ya should tell her.”

Sarah sat, unable to accept what she was hearing. How could her unmarried sister have a baby?

Daed buried his head in his hands. “Okay, okay. Ruth, tell her, but make it brief Clearly, Naomi and Matthew have something they need to talk about.”

“I … I don’t know what to say.” Mamm shook her head. “Do I tell her what Hannah said is true or what you think is true or what the bishop says is true?” Her eyes misted. “Tell me, Zeb. What am I to say about Hannah and about my firstborn grandchild?”

“Ruth.” Naomi’s calm voice cut through the freshly loosened anger. “I was there after Hannah gave birth. I would stake my life, even my son’s life, that the child Hannah gave birth to was indeed conceived the way she told you.”

Mamm clamped her hands on the table and buried her face against them, wailing, “Oh, God, what have we done?” She looked up at her husband. “What have we done?”

Resentment carved Daed’s face as he shook his head. “Naomi has the heart of a mother. Of course she believes what Hannah told her.”

Naomi stood, facing the head of the household in his own home. Almost instantly the sadness etched across her face disappeared, and fury replaced it. Sarah had never seen any woman face a man with such anger.

Matthew wrapped his hand around his mother’s arm and motioned for her to sit. When she did, he nodded his approval. “Mamm was in the room and overheard Hannah praying about the attack. Hannah didn’t even know she was there.”

The room fell silent.

Hannah was attacked? Sarah dismissed that idea immediately. Her sister had made that up to cover her sin.

Zeb shoved the teaspoon into the sugar bowl, dumped a scoop into his coffee, and stirred it briskly. “More likely that you heard her repenting for telling us she was attacked when she wasn’t.”

Naomi rose, pointing a shaky finger at Daed. “Don’t you dare spread lies about your daughter, Zeb Lapp, because you can’t face the truth.” She snapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders. “No wonder she didn’t want you to know where she was going. She knew you’d never believe her; that you’d only condemn her.” She turned to Matthew. “Get your coat. This man would rather listen to the sounds roaring inside his own head.”

Mamm rose, looking horrified. “My Hannah’s gone?”

Suddenly it became clear; this piece of information was the reason the Eshes had come here today.

Naomi placed her hand on Mamm’s shoulder. “Matthew and I took her to the train station yesterday. She told no one where she was heading.”

Daed looked to his wife. “But the rumors about her being out at night,” he mumbled. “And I saw her with my own eyes in the arms of that
Englischer
doctor. The bishop saw her kissing that man she confessed to being engaged to—a young man who isn’t even Amish. She was sneaking around behind our backs mailing letters and who knows what else.”

Stiff and mute on the outside, Sarah was relieved there was a lot of evidence against Hannah that went way beyond the pot Sarah had stirred.

Mamm plunked into her chair, staring at Daed. “Is your list of wrongdoings against Hannah all you have to say about this?”

Her mother’s look of disbelief at Daed rattled Sarah even more than this news.

Mamm reached across the table and grasped Sarah’s hands. “The baby was born the night Mary came to stay here—” Mamm broke into sobs, unable to say anything else.

In spite of the years of frustration that had built between her and her sister, Sarah needed someone to admit that they were all pulling a meanspirited prank. But the grief in her parents’ eyes told her this was no hoax.

A horrid scream banged against her temples, making her fight to hold on to her good sense. She looked to Matthew, hoping he had some words of comfort for her. But he seemed torn between anger and sympathy.

His eyes bored into her. “The church leaders had insisted Hannah spend a night alone to rethink her account of how she came to be pregnant. I went to check on her anyway and realized she was in labor and needed …”

His mother eased over to him and placed her hands on his shoulders. “Matthew and I tried to get help for her, but the phone lines were down because of a storm, and … the baby died within minutes of being born.”

Matthew reached inside his shirt and pulled out a small stack of folded papers. “Hannah wrote these before she left.”

He started to lay them on the table, but Daed took them.

Dazed, Sarah didn’t budge. She hadn’t liked it when the whole community put Hannah on an undeserved pedestal, but she hadn’t wished for this either.

“Sarah,” Matthew said, “don’t you have something you need to say?”

Her skin felt as if it were being peeled off. Heat ran through her arms and chest. “N-no, of course not.”

But God knew she did. Did Matthew know it too?

Luke waited outside the Yoder home for someone to respond to his knock. The hour was awful early to be making a call, but during the night a desire to apologize to his fiancée for their serious disagreement had nagged at him. He needed to share the conversation he’d had with Hannah yesterday before she left and hoped it would bring Mary some measure of peace.

The door swung open, and Mary’s mother, Becky, stared back at him.

She didn’t step back or open the door farther. “She doesn’t want to see you.”

Luke resisted the urge to push past her. “I’m sure of that, but I need to talk to her anyway.”

She shook her head. “This thing with Hannah is just too much for us to deal with.”

He inwardly winced at the lies people believed about his sister. Sadder still, until Hannah was about to board the train, he’d believed them too. “Mary has to be hurting because Hannah’s gone. Don’t you think it’d be best for Mary’s health if she and I talked things out?”