Sisters of the Quilt Trilogy (67 page)

Martin and Hannah went into the kitchen. She pulled his plate of food from the oven and set it on the table. He grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

Hannah sat at the table, waiting for him to say something.

Martin stabbed a forkful of potatoes. “I got a little too angry.”

“And too demanding. But I might have been a little testy myself and a bit desperate for the solitude of the cabin.”

He took a bite of the grilled pork chop. “That’s so good,” he mumbled.

“Was it bad at work today?”

He shook his head. “The average hassles. But I had to put everything aside again to meet with Faye. The session with her was really long and difficult.”

“Why didn’t I know you were seeing her today?”

“I guess because I don’t like to think about the sessions, let alone admit when I’m going to them.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Well, ‘want to’ might be pushing it, but I will.” He winked at her. “Can I have a promise first?”

“I promise.”

“Do you know what you just promised me?”

She nodded. “To not get angry and leave but to stay and work things out.”

“Nope. You just promised to marry me.”

She burst out laughing.

He set the fork down and covered her hand with his. “I need you to keep your word on that, Hannah. Since we first met at GymberJump, you’ve shown your tendency to turn your back and just leave. On our first date, I had to take the keys.”

“I just get angry way beyond what’s happening right then, and I don’t know what to do with it other than get away.”

He sat up straight and picked up the fork. “I really don’t understand it from someone as levelheaded as you are, but you’ve got to give me your word—no more leaving during the heat of an argument.”

“I promise.”

He nodded. “It was a good session with Faye, the best we’ve had yet. Only it was draining and just made me feel nauseated. I faced some things I didn’t know about myself.”

He ate and talked. Later they moved to the chairs in the backyard. Lissa and Kevin climbed into the hammock and went to sleep to the sounds of adults discussing events in their week. When the children dozed off, Martin and Hannah began talking about deep things again. As Martin told about the progress Faye was making and the self-realizations they were both having, hope for the Palmers’ future warmed her. Faye was coming home next week. They would still need to help juggle Lissa and Kevin so she didn’t get overwhelmed, but she was coming home.

“Hannah?”

Her head was against the back of the chair as she watched the leaves of the sycamore sway softly under the glow of moonlight. “Hmm?”

“Do you feel like you know what you want in life?”

The sounds of crickets rode gently across the night air while she thought about his question. Voices from the past demanding she live by the
Ordnung
rose, then faded. An image lingered of who she once thought she’d become-in a caped dress and prayer Kapp, trying to live an obedient Plain life but determined to find enough freedom within to discover her real self.

Looking across the lush lawn to the electric lights shining through the windows of the stately home, she was again struck by the contrast of her life now. Then Hannah’s eyes focused on Lissa and Kevin, snuggled under a blanket. They were so precious. She smiled at Martin, who watched her intently. “Most days.”

“Think you’d care to take our dating more seriously? You know, make a verbal commitment?”

She laughed. “And ruin whatever this game is that we play?”

“It’s called the game of growing up, and you’ve played it quite well.”

“It’s a shame I can’t return the compliment.”

“Cute.”

“So, after accepting the challenge of committing to date just one girl, you want to step up that pledge?”

He took her hands in his. “Truth is, even though I went out with all those girls, I’ve always been looking for you, and then you landed here—entirely too young to do anything about it and from a different world.”

Somewhere inside her, his words snuggled against her soul and the magnetic pull of being this close to him made her head swim. But she was in too deep already since she hadn’t told him the one thing that might cause him to change his mind. “I don’t really see a need to step up what we have. We’re dating. We’ve agreed you won’t see anyone else.”

“Just me?” he mocked.

She gave him a kiss. “Yep, just you. I better head home. Good night, Martin.”

M
atthew lifted off the back of the truck the last box of supplies from Luke’s most recent trip to the wholesale stores.

Nate McDaniel, their truck driver and Englischer neighbor, who lived some fifteen miles down the road, clapped his hand against Matthew’s back. “You got quite a stack of papers mounded in your old workshop.”

Perching the edge of the box on the tailgate, Matthew chuckled. “Yeah, I know. We hired a cousin of Esther Byler to come in and help out. She starts later today, but a person might go in there and never come out.”

Nate laughed. “Buried alive by paperwork.” He pulled keys from his pocket. “Hope whoever you find is up to the task.” He glanced at his watch. “I gotta run. It took me and Luke two days more than we figured on to get all that stuff. I imagine the missus has a honey-do list a mile long.”

“Thanks, Nate.” Matthew hoisted the box. “We should be all set for quite a while.” As Nate pulled his truck out of the driveway, Matthew carried the load into the storage room.

With a clipboard in his hand, Luke stepped in front of Matthew and jotted down the inventory numbers off the side of the box. He then pointed to a section of boxes. “Let’s put it over there.”

Matthew slid the carton into place. “Where’s David and Jacob?”

“Tending horses and lallygagging, in that order.” Luke lowered the clipboard to his side and bounced it against his leg. “I know Jacob is Mary’s brother and all, but we gotta do something about him.”

Matthew nodded. “I know. But right now we need to talk about somethin a lot more serious.” Wasting no time, Matthew told Luke about finding Sarah covered in soot and burying things in an unused field.

Luke wiped his brow. “What do you think she was doing?”

“I have no idea. I took her to her buggy that she’d left near Mary’s house, but I didn’t go back to the field and dig up whatever it was she buried. That just seemed wrong.” Matthew propped his foot on top of one of the boxes. “You know how bad she got right after Hannah left. Well, I hate to say this, but she seems really bad again. Maybe the Bylers’ barn going up in flames made her slip right off that ledge again. It’s the only reason I can figure why she’d be going through the ashes.”

A car door slammed, causing Luke to go to the window. He turned to Matthew. “I think I’ll go to the Yoders’ and let Mary know I’m back. Then I’d best go to the folks’ place and see what’s up with Sarah. And, uh, good luck, Matthew. Looks like you’re going to need it.”

“Huh? What are you talk—”

“Matthew Esh!” Elle’s voice vibrated the walls as she entered the front door of the shop.

Luke passed the clipboard to Matthew and slipped out the side door of the storage room. Matthew walked through the connecting hallway and into his old shop.

Elle waved papers in the air. “This is how you wait for somebody?”

He recognized the pages in her fist. He was surprised she hadn’t been relieved by his letter and figured she was more insulted than disappointed. “Hi, Elle.” He went to the file cabinet, which had more papers stacked on top of it and beside it than in it. “You mad ’cause I dared to do what you wanted to but wouldn’t, or ’cause you actually care?” He removed the inventory sheets from the clipboard and opened a cabinet drawer.

She shook the letter at him. “This stinks, Matthew, and I’m disappointed in you.”

“In me?” Unable to find the right file, he shut the drawer and added the papers to the large stack beside the cabinet. “I’m not the one running around like it’s my
rumschpringe
.”

“That’s ridiculous! I’m not using any freedoms to …” She didn’t finish her sentence, and he figured her conscience had stopped her cold. He felt like a parent with Elle, the rebellious teen, sneaking around behind his back.

He pointed at her hair, which she was now wearing shoulder length with wild curls going every direction. He’d wanted to see her like this, no question, but he never thought she’d walk around for everybody, hair flying. “Nice, uh, outfit.”

Pushing the sides of her slinky, printed green and sky blue skirt against her legs, she pointed to its length, which came just below her knees. “This is perfectly modest,” she growled at him. “And it’s a reasonable compromise while I finish up my contracts with that photography studio.”

“Yeah, I know. Life is all about everyone making compromises while you half fulfill your part of the agreement.”

“I signed a contract, Matthew. It was based on hours logged, not a set number of months. I told you all this.” She shook the letter in the air. “So I found some interests out there and asked you to give me a bit of time. How is that not fulfilling my part of the agreement?”

“You know how to write, but I seldom receive a letter anymore. You own a phone, but I don’t even remember the last time you called me. You own a car, but you rarely come to visit. You’ve missed the last two articles of instruction. You can lie to yourself if you want, but I’m tired of it. Your dad wanted you away from us, away from me, in order to break us up, and he’s accomplished that goal. You wanted to go to that photography school, and I agreed to give you all the freedom you needed, but I never signed up to play the fool.”

“I’ve been busy trying to get my hours done!”

“And I’ve given you lots of room and time. But this isn’t about how busy you are. Your heart is no longer invested in us. You’re supposed to be living here and dressing Amish to take your instructions, but you’ve sidestepped everything to fulfill this contract you shouldn’t have signed in the first place.”

Her gorgeous eyes fastened on him, and he was caught off guard by her moment of calmness. “The way I’ve been dressing is really just camouflage, if you’ll think about it. I mean, in the real world no one thinks anything about dressing like this.”

The real world?

Irritation ran hot as she avoided his points and then insulted him, but he chose not to take up an argument over her meaning of that phrase. He clasped his suspenders. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re every bit as sure about us as you try to make yourself sound.”

She hesitated, and Matthew thought his heart would sink into his shoes. “You been going out with someone while I’ve been waiting?”

“Of course not—”

“I’m tired of the games, Elle. Do you understand?”

The screen door swung open, and Esther Byler’s cousin, the new hired help, walked in.

“Kathryn, we’re in the middle of something here. Can you give me a minute to finish up before we begin on the paperwork?”

As Kathryn’s dress swished out the door, Elle slapped him in the chest with the letter he’d written to her. “I can make up for missing the two article lessons. The bishop said so.”

Matthew took the letter from her and shrugged. “No doubt you did a fine job of talking him into it.”

“This isn’t about how I’m acting or dressing or how busy I’ve been. This is about you. You’ve become this successful, wealthy man since I moved away. I bet girls are just flocking your way from all over the state. Maybe you don’t want the embarrassment among your Amish peers of marrying some ex-Englischer, even if I were ready to take my vows.”

Matthew folded the letter. “I didn’t back away, Elle. You did.”

She jerked the papers from his hand and ripped them in two. “Fine.” She threw the torn papers at him and ran out the door.

He hurt all over as he watched her drive away, but his resolve hadn’t been shaken one bit. She was no longer the Elle he’d fallen in love with, and she had no real desire to leave the ways of the Englischers and live Amish. She couldn’t even be honest enough with herself to acknowledge the clear truth of her choices.

It hadn’t been easy, but he’d ended things for both their sakes.

Luke moved through the dim house and up the stairs, looking for Sarah. He’d seen Esther with Rebecca and Samuel at the pond, but he hadn’t spotted any of his other siblings yet. The green shades barely let the late-afternoon light in. As he topped the stairway, he saw the shadowy outline of his mom sitting in her rocker.

“Mamm, where is everybody?” When she didn’t move, Luke eased into the room and removed his straw hat. “Mamm?”

Like cold molasses being poured from its container, she turned her face toward him. “Any word from Hannah?”

Since the community phone Hannah would call was at the Yoders’, Mamm asked that question every time she saw him.

“Not for a long time.” He squeezed the brim of his hat. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Mamm pulled her shawl tighter. “But Hannah would know what to do … if we could just contact her.”

“Know what to do about what, Mamm?”

She rose from the chair and went to the chest at the foot of her bed. After kneeling and opening it, she pulled out something wrapped in newspapers. Closing the lid, she rose, removed the paper, and held the bundle in front of him. “Sarah came home in these a few days ago.” Mamm took a corner of each side of the fabric and let it unfold in front of Luke.

It was the soot-covered dress and apron Matthew had told him about.

His mother took a step back and sat on the bed, looking worn-out. “She tried to hide them in the trash,” she whispered. “You don’t think she had anything to do with the Bylers’ barn burning down, do you?”

“No.” Luke took the dress from her and rolled it up. “No, Matthew saw her in a field behind his house the day after the fire. You must have seen her in these clothes the morning after the fire, and they weren’t damaged then. Right?” He grabbed the newspaper off the floor and wrapped it around the clothes.

The lines across her face eased, and a half smile tugged at her lips. “Yes, that’s right.”

He put the wrapped clothing back in the chest and closed it.

Mamm drew a deep breath. “I should’ve thought about the timing of it all. She took some bushels of produce to the Miller’s Roadside Stand that morning. She came home at the end of the day without any empty baskets

or any money. According to Deborah Miller, Sarah just up and left everything there first thing that morning, but she didn’t come home until nearly dark.” Mamm fought tears. “I’m getting scared. I don’t want to lose another daughter.”

Luke eased onto the bed beside his mother, wishing he knew the answer, any answer that would bring comfort.

Mamm rubbed her head firmly. “Why didn’t I stand up for Hannah when I had the chance?” A sob burst from her before she gained control.

Luke gave her a pat on the shoulder and tried changing the subject. “Where’s Daed, Levi, and Sarah?”

“Daed and Levi are hauling pews to the Millers’ for Sunday’s service. I have no idea where Sarah is.” Mamm wiped her tears. “Something’s wrong with her. She’s always been jittery and has spoken before she thought, but I was sure she’d outgrow her oddities. Now they grow like weeds in the garden. You’ve got to help me talk to your Daed about her.”

Luke was fairly sure Paul could help Sarah or would know who could, but his Daed wasn’t going to allow that. Luke and Mary saw Paul here and there. They’d had dinner with him at his grandmother’s place a few times. He was nearly finished with his schooling and worked a fair amount of hours at a mental-health clinic not far from here.

Mamm searched his face before she rose to her feet and paced the length of the room. “Why didn’t I speak up? I knew in my heart Hannah wasn’t any of those things they accused her of.” She stopped all movement. “I can’t stand it any longer. My anger burns against—” She covered her mouth, as if suddenly aware of what she was saying.

“Against the church leaders?” Luke finished for her.

She shook her head. “They responded based on what they knew, but we betrayed her.” Mamm stared into his eyes. “If I’d done Hannah right, Sarah wouldn’t be having these problems.”

“That’s not true, Mamm.”

“Yes, it is. And I’ve got to look my eldest daughter in the eye and tell her I’m sorry I failed her. I’m sorry her father and I turned against her.”

“Ruth!” Daed’s voice boomed from the foot of the steps, followed by his clomping up the stairway. “I’ll not be talked about behind my back in my own home.”

Expecting his Mamm to lower her head and apologize, Luke witnessed a shadowy image of Hannah in his own mother as she lifted her head and squared her shoulders. “Fine, then I’ll say it to your face. I’ve not spoken of this with anyone before today, so don’t think I’ve been sowing bad seed. I’ve held my tongue until my heart holds nothing but venom and anger. I followed you, Zeb Lapp, when I felt it was wrong to do so. And I’ll swallow poison before I bow to your great and mighty wisdom again.”