SIX (23 page)

Things have gone back to normal.

Max and Haley came to the bar for after-hours lock in and everyone had a good time.

Max was normal and didn’t mention that we’d fucked a couple nights ago.

In fact, if it weren’t for Misty blushing every time he spoke to her, no one would have been the wiser, but Lucky picked up on it and cornered me in the bathroom, warning me he thinks Max might be trying to get with her.

I appreciated him looking out for me, but I knew different.

Misty and I spent the last two days doing nothing, but doing it together, and the heaviness I’d been feeling in my chest had started to ease.

That is, until I notice I’m being followed again by the same truck as yesterday and the day before.

Pulling over, I jump from my truck.

This truck has been tailing me everywhere for two fucking days and it’s followed me back to the bar.

The occupants are about to become acquainted with my fist.

As I get closer, I half expect them to jet off, but they don’t.

They wait for me and that’s when the hairs on the back of my neck rise on high alert.

I don’t know what I expected, but seeing him for the first time in all these years is surreal. He has new ink, some fresh scars, but his eyes show the biggest change.

They are darker, if that’s even possible, and the lines cracked around them show years of stress.

He’s slimmer than I remember and all those emotions that exploded inside me when I first met him didn’t exist anymore.

It’s as if every part of the man I once was before Haley’s attack burned up and became ash that day.

I’m a different person now and even though I still harbor hatred and the need to avenge her, that’s part of the man who rose up in the wake of the wreckage.

“Jordon,” I breathe.

He nods to the passenger seat and my legs carry me around.

My hand twitches to arm myself, but my head berates me.

He wouldn’t hurt me.

He tried to warn me.

Opening the door, I curl my body into the seat next to him.

He smells the same, like tobacco and motor oil.

“What are you doing here?” My tone is deep and accusing, my body stiff and on edge.

“It’s been a long time. It’s good to see you.”

“What are you doing here?” I repeat.

His sigh stirs anger inside me.

“What were you expecting from me, a fucking hug, a high five?”

“No…I don’t know.” His hand snakes through his hair that’s still thick and lays long over his ears.

“Fifteen years I did in the slammer and now’s the time you decide to show up? Haley is here, is that why you’re here?” I growl, my fists clenching and the blade strapped to my ankle burning against my skin.

It wouldn’t be the easiest kill, but if it came to him and her, she would always be the victor.

Looking over to the bar and then back to me, his eyes lower.

“I came to warn you.”

“About what?” I dare him.

“Hammer, he knows where you are and he sent someone to get close.”

Fuel ignites inside me at his words.

“How the fuck would he know where I am?” Every defensive predisposition within me screams for me to end him and get Haley as far away as possible.

“You don’t think he’s being keeping tabs? You killed six of his men, Taylor.”

“Don’t you mean your men? I know you’re still with them or you wouldn’t be sitting here.”

My hands rub down my jean-clad thighs to occupy them as the murderer inside me battles for control.

“There’s only one way out and you know it.”

“I’m out.”

He looks me over, studying my face and smiling.

“You make your own rules. Prison or death is the only way out, Tay, and you took the time.”

“And I’ll take more if that’s what it comes to. I haven’t forgotten what they took from me—from her.”

“How is she?”

“Don’t fucking ask me that. She’s none of your damn business. She should have never been a part of this.” I point between us.

“They will use her to hurt you again if you do anything else.”

“Is that a threat, because I’ll die before I let that happen and I won’t go out alone. Why hasn’t he come for me?” I demand, though I know it’s because he’s a fucking spineless prick who only feels powerful when he’s attacking with a crowd and the victim is female and defenseless.

I want to kill him and bring him back to life just to kill him again.

“He sent someone.”

“Who?” My mind runs rampant and the only person who makes sense—the only person it could be—is Max.
Motherfucker.

He appeared from nowhere and I let my fucking walls down.

I let him in, believed what he fed me in the end, and let him near Misty.
Foolish fuck
. If they think I’ll allow them to destroy any more of Haley, they are as crazy as I am and about to be as dead as I always planned for them to be.

Him coming here just poured gasoline on an already burning flame.

“Did you know what they were going to do to her?” I have to know.

His answer will determine whether he leaves here with his pulse still ticking.

“Why go back there? It was a lifetime ago.”

“Not for her it isn’t.”

“If I could go back and change everything, I would,” he tells me, looking out the window.

Placing his hands on the steering wheel, he squeezes tight.

My eyes hone in on the wedding ring on his finger.

“You’re married?” I sound as surprised as I feel.

Jordon doesn’t play for both teams.

He admires women, but struggles to be with them.

He’s gay through and through.

His brother would never allow him to live out in the open as a gay man, though.

“You think after everything I’d risk being who I am?” He sounds bitter, his words spat from his tongue like poison.

“So, you married some woman and pretend with her?” I shake my head in disgust. That poor woman.

“She’s a good woman. Gave me two kids.”

That burns like a slap to the face.

Haley was robbed of that choice, that right. I did years behind bars, she suffered worse than anyone ever should, and he just went on, got married, and had a family.

What price did he pay? None.

Haley paid the price for our betrayal.

If he gets out his wallet and starts pulling out pictures of them, I’m going to ram his head into the steering wheel he’s gripping for dear life.

“The walls are closing in, Jordon. I’m coming for them. Don’t get in my way,”

I warn him, and I’ve never meant it more.

Him coming here just determined the answer to the question I’ve been struggling with myself over.

Could I risk going back to prison and leaving Misty? The answer is yes if it means she and Haley are safe from those bastards.

“You can’t trust the people around you, Taylor.” Opening the car door, I step out and lean back in to deliver,

“That’s a lesson I learned a long time ago.” With one last glare, I slam the door and jog back to the bar.

Hammer had to go.

He’s always been on the list, but I waited and let myself get wrapped up in this new life Ten offered me.

My heart aches at the thought of doing more time and having to leave Misty, but I don’t see how else this could end.

I couldn’t risk them coming here for me and finding her and Haley.

I wouldn’t survive if she became a victim because of me.

I barely survived Haley’s attack.

I’m a selfish cunt.

I should have never started something with Misty.

I held her at arm’s length for a reason and then let my own male weakness get the better of me.

Wanting her consumed me and blocked out everything that came before her, but life has a way of always dragging you back to the past and keeping you hostage there.

Max had to go, and that was going to be hard on Haley.

I go up to the apartment, grab my gun, and load it before placing it on the dresser while I shower and change.

I startle when I walk back into the bedroom to find Haley standing in the middle of the room.

“Hey,” I say, looking around the room to see if Misty let her in and was in the apartment somewhere.

She looks so grey and adrift.

“Haley,” I try again, but saying her name hurts.

There’s an atmosphere in the room, almost like an entity extracting the life from her.

“I’m tormented daily by visions and dreams of that day,” she says, her low voice breaking the silence.

“I know,” I tell her, because I do.

It’s like going around a roundabout she can’t get away from.

“I can’t look in a mirror without seeing what they took from me.” She nods her head, as if agreeing with herself.

“All my thoughts are a confusing muddled mess in my head from the drugs I take to make it through a day.” She taps her head, then her chest.

“There’s this person inside me screaming under the surface. She’s the face of the woman I was supposed to be.”

Nails claw at her flesh and the pain radiates up my own arm knowing what she’s doing to herself.

“I don’t trust anyone. When my room door shuts at night, I’m paralyzed with fear, dying over and over until the sun rises and the door opens.”

More scratches up her arms leave a blood trail.

“Please stop hurting yourself,” I plead, but she’s not hearing me.

“I’ve tried for years to move on, be someone new, let the girl as faint as a shadow inside me become whole again.” Her eyes rise to hold mine.

“I promised you I wouldn’t let them defeat me, you promised me revenge.”

I take a step closer, her pain tearing into me like rusty blades poisoning the bloodstream.

“I will give you your revenge, Haley. I promise you.”

And I will. Crimson rivers will flow from each of them.

“You see into me like no one else and then I saw you with him. Have you ever felt the light of your heart betray you?”

My mind races with answers but comes up empty.

“He was the worst one. He screamed over and over as he took my body. He robbed me of my identity and looked into my eyes as he did, breathing his signature into my soul so I could never wake up or remove him from inside me.”

Who…who?
my monster roars from the confines of my skin, shaking my ribcage.
Thud, thud, thud.

“He haunts me the most because he whispered your name as he violated my body and mind.” She swipes at a tear.

“I wanted you to save me from the non-entity I’d become by taking their lives from them, but it didn’t give me mine back, it just took years from yours. I wish I died that day, bled out all their stains onto the carpet. You should have let me die, Tay. For both our sakes.”

“Don’t you ever say that, angel. Tell me who you’re talking about, who is this man?”

“You call me angel, but my wings are broken, Tay. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to soar, to live. I will never fly again. I’ve realized no one can save me or help me. I’m too broken. The pieces will never fit the way they once did.” She inhales a deep breath.

“I’m tired of trying to live in a world that feels like I’m trapped within it, crushed by wounds that will never heal.

Names of devils etched in my skin who drag me into hell every time I close my eyes.”

Her hands move to the hem of her tee, lifting it up her arms and over her head. Unclasping her bra, it falls to the floor with a soft thump.

My soul cries out to hers, at the scars littering her skin.

I want to heal her, take all this pain and chaos from her mind, and erase it.

Why couldn’t she find peace? Why didn’t all those doctors help her move on and live a better life? She’s trapped and I’m helpless to help her.

No matter how close she is, she’s still too far gone and I can’t bring her back.

If I could suck it from her, I would, but I’m lost, defeated, and all I can do is offer her revenge and myself, but it’s not enough—it will never be enough.

They fucking broke her and the pieces were left in that room.

The hairs on the back of my neck lift in warning as she moves toward the dresser. The space around me becomes choppy and static charges the air.