Six Steps to a Girl (16 page)

“No.” Ryan backed away from me. “Honest, Luke.”

He was lying.
Bastard. Bastard. Bastard.

I shoved him in the chest, knocking him back onto the ground. He landed with a thud. I threw myself on top of him and swung my fist back. I was dimly aware of Chloe tugging at my arm, screeching in my ear, but the words were lost under the furious sound of the blood pumping through my head. It was like all my rage, all my frustration – at Matt and Mum, at Eve, at Ben – was focused in this one moment.

Ryan was trying to scrabble backwards along the ground, but my knees were pinning down his arms. My fist itched to drive itself into his stupid face.

Then the rest of the world rushed back into focus. I suddenly became aware of my own harsh breathing – and the swishing sound of the trees in the background.

I opened my trembling fingers and lowered my arm. The truth flooded through me. If I hit Ryan, I’d be as bad as Ben.

And I was better than that.

Way better.

“Listen.” Ryan’s eyes pleaded with me.

I sat back, then rolled onto the gravel path beside him. I was still panting, my heart still racing. I bent over my knees.

“Go on then,” I said. “This should be good.”

Ryan struggled onto his elbows. “I didn’t know what else to do,” he said. “I’d liked Chloe for ages. But she was always surrounded by guys. I could never get near her. Not at school. Not even at the party.”

“But I saw you dancing with someone else that night,” I said. “And there was that girl – the one with red hair. I saw you kiss her . . .”

“What else was I gonna do?” Ryan shrugged. “But you gotta believe me. I’d’ve swapped it all for two minutes on my own with Chloe.”

“So you
did
use me?” I said. “That’s why you came round. Why you kept coming round.” I blinked, remembering the way Ryan had demonstrated his stupid “look” on Chloe. And the way he was always supposedly nipping up to our bathroom every time he visited. Our bathroom, which just happened to be next door to Chloe’s bedroom.

“At first, yes, OK. But then, later, I liked hanging out with you.” Ryan looked at me earnestly. “I would have told you, man. Chloe wanted to. She didn’t think it was a big deal. But the way you acted when I looked at her that time – remember? It totally freaked me out. I thought if you knew what I was doing you’d be mad.” He gave me a weak smile. “Which you obviously are. But I wasn’t trying to piss you off. I just wanted to be with Chlo.”

My head reeled.

“Are you OK?” Chloe stroked Ryan’s cheek. There was real concern in her eyes. I’d never seen her look like that at anyone.

He nodded, turning his mouth so he could kiss her fingers.

My temper rose. “Whoa,” I said fiercely. “Enough.” I turned to Chloe. I had to make her see Ryan was a total chancer. That he’d hit on anything that moved.

“He goes after girls all the time, Chlo. Once I was at his house and he had someone up in his room that his mum didn’t even know about.”

“That was me, you idiot. I spend loads of time at Ryan’s house. And I’ve met his mum. We get on really well.”

I frowned. “But . . . but . . . he tells lies.” I remembered what Ryan had said to her that first evening. “Like about his stepdad being dead.”

“I know,” Chloe said. “I know. He apologised for lying about it the second time we talked. He did it to make me notice him. I know what he’s like, Luke.”

“No,” I said. “You don’t know what he’s like. I mean, he’s always horning after girls. Always. I’ve been to parties with him where he’s chatted up every girl in the room.”

“But I never
do
anything,” Ryan protested. He turned towards Chloe and stroked her hair. “Of course I talk to girls. I love girls. They’re much more interesting than boys. But it’s just flirting.” He moved closer to Chloe. “I can’t wait to get back and see you.”

Chloe was gazing at him with big, stupid eyes. I couldn’t believe it. She had totally fallen for Ryan’s act. And he was laughing at her, just like he’d been laughing at me all along.

“No.” I leaned over him again and pushed him away from her. He scrambled back, getting to his feet, his hands in the air in front of him.

I stood up, racking my brains for an example of Ryan going after some other girl. “What about that one at that party a few weeks ago?” I said. “She had long, dark hair, Chlo. And they were massively flirting and then he followed her out of the room.”

Ryan laughed. “Only so I could walk straight out of the house. I knew you’d think I was going off with her. All I could think about that night was getting back to Chloe.”

Jesus.
My temper was rising again. Ryan had a bloody answer for everything. What really bugged me was that – when I thought about it – it was true. I’d never actually seen him getting off with anyone since our party. But, then, he wouldn’t have let me see, just in case I found out about Chloe. I gritted my teeth. Nothing was going to convince me that he hadn’t snogged that dark-haired girl – even if he’d left afterwards.

“Luke,” Chloe pleaded. “Ryan’s your friend. He worked his arse off convincing people you hadn’t touched Eve.”

“Only so’s he could touch you,” I snapped, suddenly realising at last why Ryan had stood up for me. “He didn’t do that for me. He did it to impress you.”

I shoved Ryan in the chest. He stumbled backwards a couple of steps. I was itching for him to swing a punch at me, so I could hit him back.

“Luke,” Chloe shouted.

But Ryan just grinned. “I’m not going to hit you, Luke. You’re her brother.” He glanced at Chloe, then back at me. “But I’m not stopping going out with Chloe either.”

My chest tightened. In that moment I hated Ryan.

I hated the way Chloe was looking at him, like a bloody knight in shining armour. I hated the way he was smiling at me. And most of all, I hated the way he was so obviously convinced that, as usual, he could talk his way out of anything.

Which was when I realised exactly how to make Chloe see just how cynical he was.

I turned to her. “He’s got this stupid method, Chloe, that he boasts about. Six Steps that’ll get you any girl. And he’s got a load of photos of him with all the girls he’s been out with because of them. They’re just numbers to him.”

I glared at her triumphantly, confident she would look appalled and turn accusingly on Ryan. But Chloe just shook her head sadly at me.

I felt Ryan’s hand on my shoulder. “Those girls are just mates. And the Six Steps are bollocks, man. I told Chloe about them already. For a laugh.”

I stared at him, bewildered.

“It was Tones,” Ryan said. “He used to mope around all the time going on about Kirsty. I felt sorry for him, wanted to help – but you know, he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer, so I thought if I gave him like a step-by-step guide to work on, it might make it easier.”

I frowned. But the Six Steps had worked. What was he talking about?

“Tones told Numbers about it and Numbers started pestering me for what I’d said, so I told him too. Not that he ever bothered to act on very much of it. And he wildly exaggerates the numbers of girls he gets off with. But that’s all it was. Just a few ideas to help Tones get Kirsty to go out with him.”

I swallowed. The sun had completely gone in now and a chill breeze rippled across the small pond.

Ryan smiled. “There is no masterplan for getting a girl. I wish there was. I mean there are things you can do or not do that may make a difference. But sometimes you can try and try and they never notice you exist and sometimes you meet someone and you both just know you’re meant to be together.”

He took Chloe’s hand.

I watched them lean against each other. And I realised it wasn’t really Ryan I was angry with. It was Eve.

Eve.

Why was everything, always, all about Eve?

There was a long pause.

“Having said all that . . .” Ryan grinned. “. . . I am considering setting up a dating consultancy when I leave school.” He started to back away, pulling Chloe with him along the gravel path. His grin broadened. “I think I’d make a million, helping sad cases like you.”

I stared at him, my anger flaring again. And then, suddenly, it hit me how funny it was. All my efforts to get Eve to notice me. And all the time Ryan was doing the same thing, getting Chloe to notice him.

“Watch who you’re calling sad, pissbrain,” I growled. “You’re stuck with
her
.”

“Hey.” Chloe’s voice rose, querulously.

I could see the relief on Ryan’s face. He was still backing away up the gravel path, holding Chloe’s hand. Our eyes met.

Oh well, I thought. She could have a worse boyfriend.

I grinned, and followed them up the path.

Home was transformed now that Mum and everyone at school knew Chloe was going out with Ryan. Don’t get me wrong, Chloe was still moody and rude. And she still went out all the time, which Mum got well strung-out over, as she was supposed to be revising for her GCSEs.

But she was calmer too. And there were fewer rows.

Ryan came round most nights now after school – either to see her or to pick her up to go out. That first day after I’d found them together he just marched in, went up to Mum and announced he was Chloe’s boyfriend. I think Mum was a bit stunned – though flattered when he started in on how nice her hair looked and how pretty her cardigan was.

The next day he turned up on the doorstep when Mum was making beans on toast. Matt was taking her to some show with a really late dinner afterwards and she wanted a snack before they went out.

She’d made loads as both Chloe and I said we were starving.

I let Ryan in and walked back into the kitchen with him. As soon as Chloe saw him, she stood up.

“I’m off out,” she said.

Mum, who was dishing up the food on the counter, turned round. “Chloe,” she sighed. “What about your food?”

“Changed my mind.”

I could see Mum was upset. I glanced at Ryan.

He was frowning at Chloe. “We’ve got time to eat, Chlo,” he said.

“Not hungry,” she said, swooping towards the door.

Ryan stuck out his arm to stop her leaving. He stared at her. “If you asked for the food you should eat it.”

There was a deathly silence. Mum and I looked at each other. I knew we were both waiting for the explosion from Chloe. If either of us had said that to her, she would have gone mental.

But instead she turned and went back to the table. “OK,” she said. “Thanks, Mum. Maybe I will have some.”

Mum nearly dropped the saucepan.

When Chloe had finished, Ryan took the plate up to the counter.

On his way out of the kitchen, he bent over and whispered something in Mum’s ear. After the front door had shut behind them, I turned to her.

“What did he say?”

Mum grinned at me. “He said: ‘I know she’s a handful. I’m working on it.’”

I nearly went to the after-school Art Club on Thursday. Even got as far as the door. But then I pictured Eve’s face on the other side of it. Eve, sitting there, laughing and beautiful. Working on her project. Sending me sexy glances. Waiting for the end of the class so we could put on the radio and dance . . . and kiss . . . and . . .

But none of that was going to happen. So I left and walked home.

Why did I still miss her so badly?

I called Ella and Sinitta. I went out with both of them on different days. Just to the pictures. I liked them. I did.

But when I closed my eyes and kissed them, I wanted it to be Eve.

It was another two weeks before I saw her properly. She was right across the playground from me, chatting to her friends. I stared at her. I know it wasn’t cool. But I couldn’t help myself.

She was just so beautiful. So effortlessly, sexily beautiful.

She must have felt me staring because she looked up. She smiled at me, but I couldn’t smile back. Then she started walking towards me. I kept looking at her all the time, watching her glide closer and closer. Then she stopped.

“You don’t come to the after-school Art Club anymore,” she said. “I thought maybe you’d come back, finish your project?”

I said nothing.

I’d like to tell you I was being aloof. In fact, I didn’t have a clue what to say. Why was she banging on about that stupid button thing again?

“Maybe I’ll see you there?” Eve said.

And then I got it. She was happy with how things had turned out. She wanted to be friends.

“I doubt it,” I said. And I strode off, leaving her standing there.

The next day was Saturday, the beginning of April. The school term ended next week and Mum had chosen today to scatter Dad’s ashes. She’d decided to take them up to this old woodland near where Dad grew up. Unlike the funeral, she wanted to keep it as just us. Of course Matt was included, as he was Dad’s best friend, so, naturally, Chloe wanted to bring Ryan. Mum put up a token fuss for about five minutes but, to be honest, I think she likes it better when Ry’s around. He’s certainly the only person I know who can even begin to handle Chloe.

Nobody thought to ask me whether I was going to feel like a spare part being the only one without a partner. Still, I didn’t care all that much. It was just a trip in the car to some woods. A chance to think about Eve. I couldn’t see why everyone thought it was so important. I mean, Dad died months ago. I hadn’t thought about him an awful lot since then, and I hadn’t felt much at his funeral. I couldn’t see that today would be very different.

When we got there, Mum took the wooden box full of Dad’s ashes and we walked through some trees. It was a dull day, quite cloudy, but warm. The trees were all covered in green leaves and bursting buds and the trunks were sticky with sap.

We came to this little clearing surrounded by beautiful trees with white and silver trunks. Mum stopped and we huddled in a little circle. “I don’t know what to say . . .” Mum hesitated. “But today feels like we’re really saying goodbye.” She squeezed my hand and tipped some of the ashes out of the box. Then she handed it to Matt. He did the same thing and passed the box to Chloe.