Authors: Vikas Swarup
'What do you want, Prem?'
'The truth.'
(
Laughs
.) 'That is the first causality of journalism. Every
man has his price. Name yours.'
(
Pause
.)
'Twenty lakhs in cash and one year of government
advertisements for my paper. No bargaining.'
'I can do the first, not the second. You need to talk to
the Information Minister for the advertisements.'
'Then it will cost you thirty lakhs.'
'Twenty-five.'
'We have a deal.'
*
'Mukhtar?'
'Yes, Boss?'
'An arms consignment has to be picked up from Nepal.'
'Might be tricky, Boss. The border is very heavily policed
these days. We don't want the consignment to be
intercepted, do we?'
'No problem. Use one of my official cars. The one with
the blue beacon. Bring the consignment over the border and
take it straight to our godown.'
'That will be perfect, Boss. No one will dare intercept
the Home Minister's car.'
*
'Hello. This is Seema.'
'Hello,
jaaneman
. Where have you been? I haven't seen
you for a week.'
'I was busy. Had to cover the Awadh Festival. And also
the stage show, the biggest ever in Lucknow. The reigning
queen of Bollywood was there.'
'
Arrey
, why do you run after these film stars? They have
no respect. They are ready to dance like hired eunuchs at a
wedding for money.'
'But still half of Lucknow was there to see the
performance. I think Shabnam really stole the show.'
'Who is this Shabnam?'
'Shabnam Saxena. She is the hottest actress in India at
present.'
'I don't know these new heroines at all. The last film I
saw was
Mother India
. What acting Nargis did!'
'You don't know the names of the heroines, but your
son is now a big producer.'
'Yes, Vicky fancies that line. I keep miles away from it.
And for me, you are better than any film star.'
'Now don't butter me up. Tell me, have you done my
work?'
'What work?'
'The liquor contract for my uncle in Phaphamau?'
'Yes, yes, consider it done. But you know it has cost me a
packet.'
'How?'
'The liquor tender for Phaphamau is traditionally taken
by my man Shakeel. I had to tell him not to bid this time to
accommodate your uncle. I will now have to compensate
him in other ways.'
'And I will compensate you in bed.'
'Yes, you'd better.'
(
Laughter
.)
*
'Can I speak to Home Minister Jagannath Rai?'
'Speaking. Who is this?'
'This is Superintendent of Police Navneet Brar, Sir. I am
calling from Bahraich.'
'Oh, Navneet. How are you? I hope this stint in
Bahraich has drilled some sense into your head. So are you
calling to apologize for your past mistake?'
'No, Sir. I am calling to inform you that I have just
seized your official vehicle. It was returning from Nepal
when it was stopped at a checkpoint in my area and
discovered to contain a cache of AK-47 rifles. Your driver
somehow managed to escape, but I have confiscated the
entire consignment and I am in the process of having an
arrest warrant issued against you for aiding and abetting a
criminal activity.'
'What? You are daring to arrest the Home Minister?'
'I will be arresting a known criminal who has blatantly
misused his official position.'
'Navneet, do you know the consequences of tangling
with someone like me? Do not be under the illusion that
just because you wear a uniform, you are protected. I can
have you squished like a fly within minutes.'
'What will you do? Tell that spineless Director General
of Police Maurya to transfer me again? Well, that won't
work this time because I have spoken directly to the Chief
Minister and he has personally given me authorization to
proceed against you. Fortunately, there are still a few
principled politicians in our State.'
'Then you do what you want to do. And I will do what I
have to do.'
(
Disconnect
.)
*
'Dad?'
'Yes, Vicky?'
'There is just one week left until 15 February. D-Day.'
'Why are you getting so worked up? I got the verdict
fixed back in November.'
'I heard that some additional demands have been made.'
'That is part of the game. A lion has to feed the vultures.'
'So I can sleep easy?'
'You can. I wish I could say the same for me.'
'Why? What's been bugging you?'
'A crazy police officer has spoiled my sleep. He had the
temerity to issue an arrest warrant against me. It took me
two days to convince the Chief Minister that having the
Home Minister of the State arrested would not be good for
the party's image.'
'You need to do something about this Chief Minister,
Dad.'
'I will. But first I have to do something about that police
officer. I have put Mukhtar on the job.'
*
'Jagannath?'
'Yes, Chief Minister Sahib.'
'The death of Navneet Brar in the landmine blast has
come as a great shock to me.'
'To me as well, Chief Minister Sahib. He was one of our
most capable police officers. All his life Brar bravely fought
the terrorists, but they ambushed him in the end.'
'Tell me, Jagannath, did you have anything to do with
his death?'
'What are you saying? Everyone knows he was killed by
the Naxalites operating on the India–Nepal border.'
'But you had a run-in with Brar recently. He impounded
your car and was planning to have you arrested.'
'I never took it personally, Chief Minister Sahib. Don't
forget, it was I who got Brar posted to Bahraich in the first
place. And it wasn't really my car. The arms-smugglers were
using fake number plates and an unauthorized beacon. Brar
simply did his duty in intercepting the car. That is why I
think it would be a very good gesture if we were to give
him some posthumous honours.'
'What did you have in mind?'
'Recommendation for the President's Police Medal for
Gallantry. An ex-gratia payment of twenty lakhs to the
family and a Class One job for his widow.'
'I agree. By the way, are you going to Delhi tomorrow to
be present at the verdict in your son's case?'
'No, I will be attending Brar's funeral in Lucknow. That
is the least I can do as Home Minister.'
'I must say, that's very decent of you, Jagannath. Best of
luck.'
'Thank you, Chief Minister Sahib.'
*
'Dad?'
'Yes, Vicky?'
'Just wanted to say thank you. The acquittal has lifted a
massive weight off my mind. There was a time when I
actually feared I might be going to jail.'
'Don't thank me, thank Guruji. All this is the result of
his blessings. Ever since he asked me to wear blue sapphire,
one miracle after another has happened. All my rivals have
bitten the dust. He has recently returned from his world
tour. I am going to thank him personally.'
'And I am going to party! The acquittal has to be
celebrated. It will be the biggest bash of my life. I have
consulted an astrologer and he says the most auspicious
date will be 23 March. I will do it at Number Six. You have
to come, promise?'
'It is not a good idea, Vicky. There is still too much heat
on the case. Let the public outcry die down, then we will
see.'
'I am not worried. The judge has given me a clean chit
and no amount of chest-beating is going to change that. So
put the day in your diary: 23 March. And I promise you,
Dad, no one will get shot at this party. (
Laughs
.) OK, I gotta
run now. Bye.'
'Bye.'
*
'I am calling from the Chief Minister's office. Chief Minister
Sahib needs to speak to the Home Minister.'
'So is your boss also calling to congratulate Bhaiyyaji?
He is three days late.'
'How would I know? Just put him on.'
'Why are you always in such a sour mood? I am putting
you through to Bhaiyyaji.'
Beep. Beep. Beep.
'
Namaskar
, Chief Minister Sahib.'
'Have you seen the reaction to Vicky's acquittal,
Jagannath?'
'Yes. But you know these media people, they are never
happy. They only want to present the negative picture.
Anyway, they may write whatever they want, it is not going
to reverse the verdict. Vicky has been acquitted of the
murder charge and that is what counts.'
'But what about public opinion, Jagannath?'
'I don't care about public opinion. I never have.'
'But I do. The party does. The whole country is in
uproar, Jagannath. Candlelight vigils are being held from
Amritsar to Alleppey in protest at Vicky's acquittal. Protest
marches are being organized in eighteen States by NGOs.
Lucknow University students are threatening to immolate
themselves. Trade unions have called for an indefinite strike.
The TV channels have only one story. Magazines are
organizing text-messaging campaigns. Even the
Daily News
has established a Ruby Gill Fund to raise money for the
victim's family. No case in India's history has attracted the
kind of attention this one has. The judgment has been
condemned by one and all. There is even talk of a re-trial.
All this has placed us in an untenable position.'
'So what can I do? Should a father disown his own son?'
'Well, when the son is a black sheep, the father has to
make some hard choices.'
'I cannot believe that we are having this conversation.
My son has been acquitted, not convicted.'
'Doesn't matter. He has lost the battle of public opinion.
And for a politician, eventually what matters is public
opinion.'
'But Chief Minister Sahib, the media is mad. You know
how they trivialize things. They don't show fifty miners
trapped inside a coal mine, but all channels will
immediately start covering some cat trapped in a well.'
'Yes, I know. But this only goes to show the power of
the media. They dictate what we watch, when we watch.
They are the ones who make and break public opinion. We
will not be able to withstand the public outcry on this issue.
It will sweep us out of power unless we do something now.'
'So what do you want me to do?'
'The High Command has taken its decision. You have to
choose between Vicky and your Home Ministership. I want
your resignation on my desk by tomorrow afternoon. If you
prefer, we can say that you resigned on health grounds.'
'Your health may be bad, not mine. I am a fighter. And I
will not take this lying down. Let me spell it out for you
clearly: if you dismiss me, by tomorrow afternoon your
coalition government will be gone.'
(
Laughs
.) 'You may be a mafia don, Jagannath, but in
politics you are a novice. Give in gracefully and you might
live to fight another day. In politics, everyone makes a
comeback. But if you go against the High Command's
dictate, not only will it end your political career, it might
force us to end your criminal career as well.'
'Use these threats on the eunuchs in your Cabinet,
Chief Minister Sahib. There is no one man enough in the
State to challenge me.'
'You are compelling me to dismiss you.'
'And you are compelling me to become a rebel.'
'Fine. Then the battle lines are drawn. Let us see who
prevails.'
'Yes, let us see.'
(
Disconnect
.)
*
'Hello?'
'
Pranam
, Guruji.'
'
Jai Shambhu.
'
'When are you returning from Allahabad to Mathura?'
'As soon as the Magh Mela ends. Why?'
'Guruji, I need your blessings.'
'What for?'
'For the greatest battle of my life.'
'I thought you had already won that. Vicky has been
acquitted. My coral ring proved to be very potent.'
'Despite that, the Chief Minister is intent on dismissing
me. So I have decided to enter the arena. It will be a fight
to the finish. Either he will remain standing or I will.'
'You have my blessings, Jagannath. I have recently seen
the Chief Minister's horoscope. His stars are in decline and
yours are on the way up.'
'Thank you, Guruji. With you on my side, I can take on
anyone, even the Chief Minister.'
'
Jai Shambhu
, Jagannath. May victory be yours!'
'
Jai Shambhu
, Guruji.'
*
'Hello, Tripurari. Are you still in Hardoi?'
'Yes, but this is called telepathy, Bhaiyyaji. I was just
about to call you to congratulate you on your performance
in the Assembly today. The attack on the Chief Minister
was marvellous. So subtle. This is called killing with
kindness.'
'Now the gloves are off, Tripurari. He wants to dismiss
me as Home Minister. Says the High Command is worried
about the negative publicity regarding Vicky's acquittal.'
'How dare he? We will dismantle his government brick
by brick if he so much as thinks about dismissing you.'
'That is what I need your help for. If by tomorrow I am
no longer Home Minister, then by the end of the week the
Chief Minister should also lose his chair. We need to plot
his downfall. How many MLAs do you think will be willing
to come with me?'
'Let's do the arithmetic, Bhaiyyaji. To bring down the
government, we need to engineer the defection of only fifteen
legislators. We already have a solid bloc of twenty MLAs, all of
whom are your followers. We can cut off the Chief Minister's
power faster than the State Electricity Corporation's next
blackout.'
'It is not that simple, Tripurari. I am playing for very
high stakes. It is no longer a question of simply bringing
down the Chief Minister. I want to really rub his nose in the
dust now. So I have decided to stake my own claim for the
post.'
'You mean Chief Minister?'