Skaia (37 page)

What did I feel when I left him to go to Greece?
Nothing. He’d forgotten about Thane completely as soon as he was out of Rome.

But… what if Thane had been more like Skaia? What if he’d been beautiful and graceful—and full of intellectual curiosity? 
Could I ever have forced him into sex with someone else?  Could I have forgiven my father, if he had done such things?

The answer to both questions was the same—and very distressing.

Oh, gods—I did not want my father to be right about this.

Skaia noticed as he walked, that he had lost the cloth from his foot. Already, it hurt – but was not so distracting as the burning between his buttocks. He knew there had been some blood. But nothing like after his experience with Glaucus.
This must be what all slaves felt,
he thought, and refused to dwell on it.

No one was up except the guard with his dog at the front gate. Skaia made his way through the darkened hallways into the kitchen. And outside in the dark to empty the pot. When he came back he made a noise as he unplugged the pipe that would let in fresh water, and feared that Castor would come.

But he’d only awakened the old slave who always slept near the stove, to make sure the fire never died completely. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, but the old man ignored him and just put his head back down.

Skaia hoped Thaddeus would already be in bed and asleep, but knew it wasn’t likely. Though sex usually sent him to sleep, tonight had been different. As if Thaddeus was experimenting with him—and waiting now for the results of his experiment.

Just as he’d surmised, when he returned Thaddeus was still awake, sitting on the bench close to the bed.
Where he humiliated me earlier,
Skaia thought.
Probably thinking of doing it again…
He set the pot back in its place and very reluctantly stepped closer to Thaddeus.

His master stared at him coldly, seemingly angry again. “If you’ve finished everything you need to do, get in bed.”

“
Your bed?” Skaia asked fearfully, sure now Thaddeus meant to hurt him again.

“
Yes, damn it—my bed.” When Skaia did not move, Thaddeus frowned, and his voice was even harder. “Now!” Skaia jumped slightly, before he made his way to the far side of the bed, undressed, and got in. Thaddeus lay down on the other side. “Move closer to me.” When the boy was near enough, Thaddeus put an arm over Skaia’s chest and could feel the boy’s heart pounding.

Oh, gods,
he thought.
I can’t do this again.
Keep frightening him.
He pulled the boy closer. “Skaia,” he whispered, “I am sorry. I will never do such a thing again. I promise.”

Skaia said nothing, but as time passed, Thaddeus could feel his heartbeat slow. Could feel him relax. It was enough. For tonight. Thaddeus kissed the boy’s cheek and let himself sleep.

When morning came, Skaia woke first. Thaddeus’ arm still covered his chest and he did not try to move. When he heard the door open, he closed his eyes, not wanting to face Castor as the man wakened his master.

Thaddeus stretched and turned to face Skaia. The boy’s blue eyes fluttered open, apprehensive—but not terrified like they’d seemed last night. “I’m glad you stayed here this time,” he said softly. Skaia only looked at him. “You can get up and go to the kitchen for your breakfast. Bring hot water with you, when you come back.”

Skaia pulled on his clothes without a word and left quietly. Only his body’s exhaustion had lured him to sleep last night. He had wondered repeatedly—and did now—if Thaddeus’ apology could possibly be real. It could have been much worse, he told himself. Maybe the apology was genuine. Or maybe things would only degenerate. Thaddeus might want sex again when he returned…

Castor smiled to see him, but didn’t speak. Gotus had just been punished and was pulling on his tunic. Skaia watched as Castor put away his strap and wondered if Gotus had been punished because of him.
Not that there’s anything I can do about it.

Gotus left the kitchen without looking at him and Skaia quietly took his place at the table, wincing when his bottom touched the bench. He nodded to Thera when he saw her. She smiled back blatantly and he looked down in embarrassment. But he glanced her way several times, and often found her looking at him as well. As usual, the food was very simple. Olives, small slices of cheese. Bread and olive oil. Skaia wasn’t hungry and ate very little, still afraid he would be sick again.

When he went to the wash room, he was pleasantly surprised to find another bucket of warm water. Cheered by its presence and hoping Thaddeus might make the arrangement permanent, he cleaned himself thoroughly, scrubbing roughly between his legs until he was sure no remnant of last night remained. He knew he was particularly sore but there was no sign of blood today.
I haven’t been hurt seriously…
Sighing quietly, he selected the bucket for Thaddeus’ water.

Thera was working at the stove and Skaia hesitated to approach her, but she smiled again and motioned him closer. “What happened to your shoes?  You shouldn’t be walking around without them.”

Skaia’s glance fell to her feet. New shoes. Slave shoes. “Has Castor not told you, that you may not speak to me?” he asked, ignoring her question.

She shrugged. “He’s told me. But I’ve never obeyed every command I’ve been given.”

“
Please be careful, Thera,” Skaia warned her, looking up. “Master Thaddeus is very strict, and Castor can’t overlook everything.”

Castor observed their little exchange and walked over to them quickly.
Young people
, he thought,
attracted to one another
. But it would not be allowed. Better for both of them, that he put a stop to it now. “Thera. Do not dally. No doubt Master Thaddeus is waiting on this boy’s mouth.”

The girl looked at Skaia, suddenly realizing what Castor meant. She actually blushed as she scooped hot water into the bucket Skaia held out.

“
I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

Skaia inclined his head in acceptance, and to hide his shame. Then, without looking at her again, he turned and made his way back to Thaddeus, finding his master already dressed and sitting at his desk when he entered the room. Skaia waited for only a moment before he took the water to the wash stand and prepared Thaddeus’ bowl. He stood there silently, waiting to be told what to do, and wondering why Thaddeus had not called him to bed.

Going across to the stand, Thaddeus washed his face and hands before speaking. “After you’ve cleaned in here and the bathing chamber, you can go to my father for the morning.” He wiped his face dry with the towel Skaia offered. “This afternoon, I’ll be going to the baths. I want you to attend me, so come back here when my father has his lunch.”

“
Yes, Master.”

No excitement this time, Thaddeus noticed. No joy. “Skaia,” he said softly and the boy looked up at him. “You may ask me when you want to speak. I will not punish you for it.” Skaia’s eyes widened in surprise, and Thaddeus ran his fingers gently through the boy’s red curls. “You have been very obedient. I think I can relax the rules just a little.”

I haven’t been obedient,
Skaia thought.
I told him how much I hated what he did to me. I asked about Glaucus.
And Thaddeus had threatened him with thirty lashes. Before he could think of anything to say, there was a knock on the door, and Castor entered.

“
Please forgive me, Master. The builder has come early, sir.”

“
Shit,” Thaddeus groaned. “I have to have public audiences today since I was gone yesterday. I can’t put them off again. Take Fralus to the atrium, Castor. Have Meera serve him breakfast—or whatever he wants. I’ll get to him as soon as I can.”

Thaddeus turned his attention back to Skaia once Castor had left. “Is the pain bad?” he asked. “Does Castor need to treat you?”

Skaia looked up at him blankly
. My foot?
he wondered for a moment. No, of course not. Thaddeus had never been concerned for his foot. He felt the heat rise in his face as he understood, and lowered his head again. “I… I’m fine, sir. You didn’t hurt me badly.”

Thaddeus nodded absently, his mind already on the myriad of tasks ahead. “I’m glad. Be a good boy today. Do what my father says.”

I always do.
“Yes, Master.”

XII

In spite of his various pains—in his foot and between his buttocks—Skaia hurried through his cleaning tasks, anxious to go outside to the garden and to Paulinus. He started to put on his sandals, but changed his mind when the hole was so obvious.
I need another cloth.
Castor was the natural one to ask, but Skaia did not want to go back to the kitchen either—did not want to see Thera or Castor again. Pinning his hopes on Paulinus, Skaia carried the shoes, and left Thaddeus’ rooms.

He found the old master still in his chambers, bent low over his desk, drawing something. Paulinus turned to greet him with a smile, though he frowned when he saw the sandals in the boy’s hand. “What’s wrong?  Is your foot bothering you again?”

“
Only a little, Master Paulinus. But the sole of the left shoe is split. I… I lost the cloth I was using to bind the blister. I… I hoped you might have one.”

Paulinus took Skaia’s shoes and put them on his desk. “Sit now,” he instructed. “Let me see your foot.” Skaia obeyed him very reluctantly. “Blessed Jupiter,” Paulinus all but hissed when he saw the broken blister, “why haven’t you had this treated?”

“
It’s just a little thing, Master Paulinus,” Skaia objected softly. “It’s healing. I didn’t want to worry anyone over it.”

“
Someone should have the sense to worry over this. Don’t tell me Thaddeus ignored it?” Paulinus looked up to stare at the young slave.

“
Oh, no, sir,” Skaia answered quickly, meeting Paulinus’ eyes. “It’s really nothing. I can walk well with a cloth around my foot.”

Paulinus shook his head, and sat back, releasing Skaia’s ankle. Harassing the frightened slave was not the answer. He picked up the sandals and examined them. “These things are useless, even without the hole in the bottom. Why are you still wearing them in this condition?”