Skaia (62 page)

He no longer read. He didn’t ask questions. He was always attentive, never intruding.
Invisible,
except when called to service. He’d become the perfect slave.
Except, he was emotionally dead.

“
Come, Skaia. This was an early evening. Sit with me, and we’ll play a game. You like Latrunculi don’t you?”

Skaia stood and approached. “Whatever you wish, Master.”

“
Thaddeus.”

“
Whatever you wish… Thaddeus.”

“
Damn it, Skaia,” Thaddeus almost shouted. “You’re infuriating me with this attitude. What do
you
want to play?”

“
Soldiers and Robbers is fine, sir. If it’s what you wish.” Neither Skaia’s expression, nor the tone of his voice changed.

“
Sit,” Thaddeus commanded in frustration as he stood to get the board and pieces. He slammed them on the table. “Set it up.”

Skaia startled at the noise, but otherwise did not react. “What color do you wish to play, Master?”

Thaddeus sighed and sat again. “You choose.”

“
I will make you black, sir.” Black always played first. Skaia arranged the pieces.

When he’d finished, Thaddeus shifted the board so that Skaia now had the black pieces. “You go first.”

Skaia opened with a typical move, and Thaddeus countered. Skaia’s next move sacrificed one of his pieces, and Thaddeus glared. “That was stupid.”

“
I’m sorry, Master.”

Thaddeus smacked at the board and sent all its pieces crashing to the floor. “What is wrong with you?”

Skaia quickly started to gather all the pieces back together. “I’m sorry, Master.” Thaddeus grabbed his arm, pulling at him, causing him to drop what he’d picked up. Skaia looked at him, meeting his eyes. “What do you want from me, Master?” His voice was quivering.

Loosening his grip, Thaddeus answered, “I want you to be as you were before. Before Scipio took you.”

“
But… but, Master, I am
not
the same.” Tears were filling Skaia’s eyes, and he blinked furiously to keep them from falling. “It was your will.”

Thaddeus slapped Skaia’s face hard, back and forth, until the boy sobbed and collapsed. Only Thaddeus’ grip on his arm kept him from falling to the floor.

“
Let out your fury. Scream at me,” Thaddeus told him, holding him close. “Be angry with me. Anything. Just, please Skaia… don’t act like a beaten dog anymore. Please.”

Skaia grasped the fabric of his master’s tunic, and burrowed his head into Thaddeus’ chest. He cried until the fabric was wet, and each sob became choking. When finally he stopped, Thaddeus lifted him into bed and lay beside him.

“
Can you talk to me now?”

Shutting his eyes, Skaia said softly, “I’ll try, sir. If that is what you what.”

“
What I want, is for you not to hate me.”

What difference does it make?
Skaia wondered
. I’ll serve you the same.
But he said nothing, and lay still as Thaddeus stroked his chest through the fabric of his tunic, occasionally touching the hollow of his neck.

“
I know that party was awful for you, Skaia, and I am sorry.”

“
I don’t think you know how awful it really was.” Skaia tried to get up, but Thaddeus pulled him back.

“
Tell me.”

“
He… Scipio… He used me. He made me stand against the wall, like when you whip me. And he took me.” Skaia suddenly held tightly to Thaddeus. “And, when he was done, he just left me there. With his… his mess running down my legs. I had to clean myself with my own breechcloth, and then… and then wear it.” Taking some deep breaths, Skaia then whispered so softly that Thaddeus strained to hear. “He made me into the whore you’ve always wanted me to be.” He began to sob pitifully again.

Thaddeus touched the boy’s face, afraid he would cry himself. “That’s not what I want, Skaia.”

“
But you said you did. So many times. So that Glaucus will not want me when he returns home.”

It was Thaddeus’ turn to take a deep breath. It took some moments before he could speak. “It was what I wanted. In the beginning. But so much has changed, Skaia. Now… now, I want you to like me. No, not
like.
”
Oh, Gods.
“I want you to love me.”

Skaia hesitated, thinking he might already love Thaddeus. But it couldn’t be. Glaucus held his heart. Except… He spoke to stop his mind’s relentless assault and to end this conversation. “Do you love
me
, Master?” he asked, expecting Thaddeus to turn away, to send him to his pallet. “Do you love your slave?”

Thaddeus had already acknowledged his strange feelings to himself. It was harder to admit them to Skaia. But no longer impossible. “I don’t love a slave, Skaia. I love
you
.”

Skaia’s breath hitched, though he did not cry again. “But… but I’m filthy now. I’m despicable… I don’t even like myself.”

Holding the slender body away from him so he could see Skaia’s eyes, which were wide and filled with despair, Thaddeus felt his own eyes water again. “You are not filthy. Or despicable. You are a noble little Gaul that I was lucky enough to purchase at a slave market. Any shame or filth is mine, Skaia. Not yours.”

“
Will Glaucus feel that way, too?”

Thaddeus felt his anger rise, and he pushed it down.
I asked Skaia to be honest,
he reminded himself.
I owe him the same.
He fought to keep his voice level as he spoke. “I don’t know what my son will feel, Skaia. But he cared for you very much when I took you from him a year ago.” Thaddeus paused before continuing. “I think his anger will be at me, for what I’ve done to you. Not at you, for being strong enough to bear it. If he doesn’t understand that, I will explain it to him.”

Thinking about what Thaddeus had said, Skaia asked, “Does this mean you will give me up, sir? And not make me… ”

Even without the end of the question being spoken, Thaddeus understood what Skaia meant.
Would he give the boy up completely, rather than share him with Glaucus?
He would, if Skaia would live… He sighed softly. “Yes, Skaia. If that is what you and Glaucus both want, I will return you to my son.”

Skaia’s face did not change. His expression showed neither pleasure nor sorrow. And when given permission, he retreated to his pallet, as he now did every night.

Glaucus lay on his blankets and watched the stars. The camp was quiet.
Everyone else is asleep,
he thought.
Except the guards who are on watch.
And Nicea, who shifted under his hand. Glaucus looked down at the pale head. Nicea’s hair was longer now, and looked almost silver in the moonlight. Glaucus twined his fingers in it, and Nicea turned to look at him. “Do you want something, Master?”

“
Think you could empty my bladder for me?” Glaucus smiled.

A smile appeared on Nicea’s lips too. Like the ones the boy occasionally showed to Trestus. “I don’t think I can do that, Master.”

Leaning over, Glaucus kissed those soft lips, feeling the slave open willingly to the slight pressure. He pulled away, feeling the tingle in his groin. “Then perhaps, you could just walk with me.”

“
Yes, Master.” The smile was gone. Nicea rose, and handed Glaucus his cloak. The boy had turned back into the slave Glaucus was used to. The one with the blank face and no identity. The one who served him perfectly.

Oh, gods
, Glaucus thought.
Is Skaia like this, too?
“No… Skaia laughs, and he smiles all the time.”

“
Master?”

Glaucus realized he’d spoken out loud. “Nothing, Nicea. I was just thinking about… my slave at home.”

“
Yes, Master.” Nicea fell behind him, following obediently.

Having relieved himself, Glaucus turned away so Nicea could do the same. “Do you ever say anything besides ‘yes, master’ and, ‘no, master’?” he asked.

“
Yes, Master.”

“
When?” Glaucus laughed.

They walked back to the camp, and Glaucus lay down again. Nicea hesitated and looked at him, before lowering his eyes. “Well?” Glaucus said. “Do you have something you want to say?”

“
Do you wish me to leave you now, sir?”

Glaucus sighed. “No, Nicea.” He shifted to make room for the boy next to him. “Lie here.” The slave knelt carefully, and then lay down. “Rome is warmer than this. It only gets cool at night,” Glaucus told him, as he pulled the blanket up over them.

“
I have heard the days get very hot there, sir.”

“
Ha!” Glaucus hooted. And Nicea jumped in fright. “The boy does talk.”

“
I’m sorry, Master.” Nicea started to move away, but Glaucus held tightly to his wrist.

“
I was just teasing, Nicea. Lie down.” When they were settled again, Glaucus asked, “Is this your first time outside Greece?”

“
Yes, Master. When you bought me in Thebes, and took me with you, it was the first time I ever left the peninsula.”

Glaucus continued to ask questions, until he had learned at least some of Nicea’s story. He listened as the slave told of how he had been sold by his own father, in Athens, to pay overdue taxes when he was only a child of ten.

It took more persistent questioning to pull the next part out. Glaucus realized that Nicea had kept secrets from all of them. Even Trestus… At such a young age, Nicea had been used as a whore. Servicing his master and his business associates. Glaucus stopped his questions, suddenly feeling he had no right to pry into things that were so painful to the slave.
And I shouldn’t give a shit.

The boy’s next master, Glaucus already knew about. They had questioned Nicea extensively as soon as they’d bought him. Glaucus began to think the whole truth was not what they’d heard, but again, he did not press for more information.

“
When my master died, sir,” Nicea explained, “I was sold with the rest of his estate. At the auction where you bought me.”