Authors: Kevin Anthony
“
Me too,” Lu stuffed her mouth with more food “But we‘re here now.”
Ford browsed the room for the group’s leader. “Where’s Miriam?”
Mariam owned the building and was how Ford discovered the group. Miriam specialized in door-to-door knife sales. An expert on her own kind, the woman could usually tell by a customer’s reaction to the blades she sold if they were slasher or not. After making a purchase from her, Ford had spent weeks talking to her over the phone, the woman making sure enough trust was built between them both, before he was finally invited to join her and the others in-person.
Lu shrugged. “She’s not here.” She stuffed a few mini-candy bars into her jeans pockets.
“
How long has everybody been waiting?”
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Half an hour.” Lu glanced at a wall clock near the entry door. “A few left. I’m about to leave myself.”
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It’s not like Miriam to miss a meeting.”
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Maybe she’s tired of the bullshit,” Lu scanned the crowd. “We all come here, sit around and lie about how we haven’t slashed in years or how we fight our will to harm others. This is all an act. I slashed a young couple three weeks ago. Be honest Ford, you’re only here to rid yourself of the guilt. Who did you slash?”
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Nobody,” He quickly answered, hoping to create false surety.
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You’re lying, but it’s common in this room.”
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If this place is such a waste, why are you here?”
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The free food and the cute guys,” She softly nudged him. “You’re included.”
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Thanks for the compliment.”
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But now I’m not hitting on you, we’ve already done the dirty, I need a new challenge.”
Ford tasted one of the pizza bites and spit it out. “It tastes like beef jerky.”
Lu ate a few more. “I fucking love beef jerky.”
“
How about we go check on Miriam? She would do the same,” Ford suggested.
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Because she’s a lonely old woman.”
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Maybe, but she lives close by anyways,” Ford dug his keys from his pocket. “Are you coming? I’ll drive.”
“
Sounds better than listening to somebody talk about their emotional breakdown in the knife aisle of Shop Mart.”
They left the building, Ford loaded her silver bicycle into his back seat, and they drove to Miriam’s house.
The woman lived in a small trailer park that was a short drive from the warehouse area. Many nights Ford skipped meetings only to receive a phone call from Miriam questioning his whereabouts. She was a kind woman even though it was rumored she slaughtered an entire sorority house back in the seventies. They arrived at the woman’s trailer, the front yard decorated with gnomes dressed as businessmen and women. The streetlights weren’t operational, the neighborhood nearly ghost town like, empty beers cans and tires scattered throughout the area.
Ford and Lu headed up to her front door. He raised his clenched fist to knock, but the trailer door was half-ajar. It creaked as Lu pushed it open, Ford stepping in first. The front yard theme continued inside. No matter where they looked, a gnome was visible. There were photos, miniature figures, dishware, and plush gnomes on her couch. Ford resisted greeting them, not accustomed to silent stuffed animals.
Lu passed the kitchen area and headed to the bedroom door knocking. “Miriam, you here?”
Ford stood close behind Lu. “You missed the meeting, Miriam. Are you okay?”
Lu grabbed the door handle, sliding it sideways into the wall. Miriam’s body lay sprawled on her bloodstained mattress, multiple stab wounds in the woman’s chest. Her withering face was pale, her light blue eyes opened. Ford and Lu found themselves admiring the murder scene.
Lu shut the door. “The slasher has been slashed.”
“
Should we let this unfold naturally?”
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Yeah, no cops tonight. I’m sure somebody will eventually uncover her body.”
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We were never here.”
“
We were never here,” Lu repeated.
Ford dropped Lu off home before heading towards his apartment complex. He parked his car and entered the maze of apartment buildings. Ford lived solely on unemployment benefits. He volunteered at the soup kitchen in the inner-city just to keep his mind off of slashing and to snag some free groceries from the stock room. He headed up the steel staircase, unlocked his door, and entered his one bedroom apartment.
Ford flipped the nearest light switch and nothing happened. Continuing towards his bedroom, he kicked off his sneakers, sending them flying into the darkness. He dug into his pocket and set the blade down on his kitchen table.
“
Bad night?” a voice asked.
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Basically.” Ford responded. “A lot of blood.”
The voice snickered. “Sounds good to me.”
Ford headed into his bedroom, crashed to his creaking bed, and drifted off to sleep.
The next morning Ford awoke, the sun blazing through his room window blinds and his clothes glued to his sweaty body. Ford took off the hooded sweatshirt he had fallen asleep wearing. His teeth were coated with plaque and his armpits emitted a stench. He headed across the hall for a quick shower.
The crimson stained knife rested on his kitchen table, crusted blood peeling off onto the tabletop. He tossed it into the sink. He turned the handle, running the steaming water on the knife, and watching as the blood came off and swirled down the drain.
He loathed the aftermath of a slashing: feeling like a monster that preyed on a hapless, helpless society. He knew he was more than a slasher, yet it had such a strong presence in his life since high school. Ford turned off the water and turned away from his sink. He needed to think; the normal part of him needed his attentions.
He took a seat on his dingy, dark green couch. “My life is a mess, Rubble.”
The limbless teddy bear placed beside him shrugged. “There’s not much I can do about that, is there?”
Ford glanced down at the murderous stuffed-animal. “There never is.”
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Maybe, if you sew me on some new limbs, I can kill, while you search the victims for loose change.”
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No more slashing,” Ford snapped, “I’m done.”
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A slasher who doesn’t slash,” Rubble chuckled. “A novel idea.”
Ford bristled. He did not like how Rubble made light of his slasher tendencies, but did not take it personally. Not anymore. Though Rubble had tried to kill him as a child, instead of trashing the stuffed animal, Ford dismembered the bear and held it captive.
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I need money.”
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I need limbs, a knife, the body of a young human boy, and a soul transferal spell.”
Ford stood and slipped on his worn sneakers. “You want unattainable things.”
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If I had a heart, that statement would have crushed it.”
Ford headed towards his apartment door. “Instead you’re stuffed with cotton.”
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Where are you heading?” Rubble shouted as Ford opened the door.
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To get money.” The slasher shielded his eyes from the blaring sun. “Damn, it‘s hot.”
Ford made his journey downstairs to the blisteringly hot parking lot. The leaves were falling, painting the town orange, brown, and yellow. After dusk you could feel the cool winds of the approaching winter. During the day, the sun dominated, as it always did in Draper.
He struggled to unlock his car door and climbed. Carefully, he started the car, the seat and steering wheel burning his hands. Ford powered on the radio, jamming to whatever poor written pop song was the flavor of the month. He bobbed his head to a song about a girl proud to hail from the sunshine state and sip martinis near her pool.
He loved driving through Draper. Historic buildings occupied the downtown area, most painted soft colors. The young women from the local college walked the sidewalks while wearing as little clothing as possible and the skateboarders tumbled in the streets, creating unnecessary traffic jams. In the air, you could smell food.
He arrived at a beachside home. A glossy, apple red convertible was parked in the pebbled stone driveway. He made his way to the white door of the home, decorated with a seashell wreath. Ford used his key and let himself in. The majority of the windows were open. A towering, dark skinned woman, with flowing dark hair stepped from the kitchen.
Ford smirked, delivered a wave, and let out a monotone, “Hey.”
Harriet mockingly returned the gesture, “Hey.”
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No fair, other-mother,” he whined sarcastically, “Don’t make fun of me.”
Harriet, sporting a two-piece, pink bikini, approached him. “Greet me like you‘re glad to see me.”
He took another attempt, adding a bit of enthusiasm, “Hey gorgeous!”
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Hello my pride and joy, what brings you here?”
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I’m going to be an irresponsible adult about this and directly say...I need money.”
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If you had finished culinary school you would probably have a great job and savings by now.”
After slashing the woman who taught the baking course Ford had become uncomfortable showing up to the class. It wasn’t long until he abandoned all his courses at the local college and started working in video rental store. He fooled himself into thinking that job would last, but it only took a few months for the company to file for bankruptcy in the tough economy.
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Thanks for reminding me of my poor life decisions, but how about that money?”
Harriet laughed. “I’m scrapped for cash.”
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It doesn’t look that way. I’m sure beach side property, a convertible, and gender reorientation surgery weren’t included together in a discounted package. I just need about one hundred dollars to get my electricity reconnected. I’ll pay you back once I get my unemployment check. My house feels like a sauna, other-mom.”
Harriet strutted away. “That reminds me, I have a sauna appointment.” And returned to the kitchen.
Ford followed Harriet and entered the kitchen. “Other-mom, I’m not trying to invade your financial privacy, but don’t you have money left over from your show business days? This is an emergency. What if I return home, take a nap, and end up dying in my sleep from dehydration?”
Harriet resumed slicing a watermelon. “Fine, stay here.”
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Honestly, who wants to spend more time with their parents?”
Harriet twisted her lips. “That was mean.”
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I’m sorry, dad…I mean other-mom.”
Harriet aimed her knife at him. “And that was just evil.”
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It’s only been a few years since your surgery, I’m still adjusting. Now, about that money?”
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Not until tomorrow, I’m in debt at the moment. I made a large purchase.”
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What did you buy?”
Harriet rested her knife on the glass table, stood and left the kitchen. She returned carrying a large mirror, the frame golden and encrusted with diamonds. “I brought this from a shop downtown yesterday, it was worth every penny. Isn’t it spectacular?”
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Yeah…sure…neat, how much was it?”
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Just about four thousand dollars, but it was tax free.”
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Other-mom, all mirrors work exactly alike. Why this one?”
She motioned at the frame. “The price is in the artwork.”
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Great, I’m in the dark and the heat, but at least you have a nice mirror.”
Harriet placed the mirror back in the living room and returned. “I have a question.”
Ford rested his back against the stainless steel refrigerator. “I’m listening.”
Harriet tugged at her bikini top. “How are my titties looking?”
Ford banged the back of his head against the freezer door. “Are you serious?”
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I noticed some guy staring at them. Are they lopsided?”
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He was staring because they’re tits, not observing their positioning.”
She blew out a sigh. “You’re right. I get frazzled sometimes.”
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Get used to the attention other-mom. You’re a woman now, men will stare.”
She struck a pose, puckering her lips. “Are you saying I’m attractive? Answer quick, I’m cramping.”
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And I’m leaving. Have fun with your mirror.”
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Call me tomorrow about the money, okay?”
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Of course.”
Ford climbed back into his car and drove back to his apartment. As he walked toward his complex building, he noticed a dark-haired woman standing on his porch. He arrived upstairs to find her holding a plastic garbage bag in one hand and a cigarette in the other. She wore a tight, faded-pink tank top, her nipples visible through the cheap fabric, and a pair of tattered jeans and leather combat boots.