Slave (15 page)

My voice was harsh. This was the first time she had truly angered me. I couldn’t believe she was thinking this.

“Please forgive me, Master. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just . . .” She paused and then said, “I was scared.” She cringed as the words left her mouth.

Suddenly all my anger left me, and I pulled her close, bringing our noses together so she had to look directly into my eyes. She admitted she was scared. This was a huge step.

“You are mine, Brianna. You do not have to fear me or anyone else. Tell me you understand.”

“I understand.”

“Good,” I said. “Now give me a goodnight kiss. I have a long day tomorrow, and I need to get to bed.”

She didn’t hesitate before her mouth covered mine. Her lips moved with more confidence each time as she pressed against me.

When she pulled back, I cupped the back of her head and placed one more soft kiss on her lips before we both got up. I walked her to her bedroom door and pushed her hair back over her shoulders. “Goodnight, Brianna.”

“Goodnight, Master.”

Brianna

Before Master left for work Friday morning, he told me not to worry about dinner that night. He said that he would order a pizza and told me to select a movie for us to watch.

The morning seemed to drag after breakfast. I went upstairs to work out as instructed, and I managed to go through his DVD collection and pick out a movie for later. I drew out making the selection just to have something to do. I’d never been a big television person, and that hadn’t changed. In the end I’d settled on an action film from a few years ago.

At noon, I made myself some lunch in Master’s kitchen. I loved it in there.

After eating, I had nothing left to do with myself, so I sat down and turned on the television. I flipped through the one hundred and two channels, but came up empty. You’d think after ten months of not being allowed to watch television at all that I’d be able to find something that would hold my interest, but that just wasn’t the case. All I wanted was my books. The one thing I couldn’t have.

Sighing, I started again from the beginning, hoping that this time something would catch my eye. But less than halfway through, my cell phone rang. I’d left it on the counter earlier, so I rushed over to answer it thinking it might be Master. It had already rung four times before I picked it up. “Hello?”

“Hey, Brianna,” Lily said in an excited voice.

“Hi, Lily.” My voice was much more subdued.

“Are you busy?”

“No.” I walked back into the living room.

“Great!” she nearly screamed through the phone. “I wanted to ask you what you thought of Logan.”

I felt my nerves beginning to take over, and I tried to stay calm. Did I do something wrong last night? Did Master say something to her? Or did she say something to him?

He seemed all right last night. Well, except for my stupid question. And in a way, it had been stupid. Master was right; he’d never lied to me.

Obviously I’d been quiet for too long, because Lily’s voice came through the line again. “Did you not like him?”

“No,” I said quickly. I pressed my lips together as I considered what to say. Finally I decided to stay consistent. “He was nice.”

“He is nice,” she declared adamantly. “He’s wonderful.” She sighed and then went in a totally different direction. “Stephan said you were going to go back to school.”

“Yeah,” I said, sheepishly. I hadn’t been a big talker before, and now . . .

“So tell me, when do you start?”

She sounded so excited, and it was rubbing off on me a little. “This fall. September.”

“Are you excited? The first two years of college for me were kind of boring, but once I got into the classes for my major it was so much fun.”

“Yes, I’m excited.”

Then she sighed. “You can talk to me, you know. I know things are strange for you right now, but you can trust me, and you can trust Stephan.”

When she said Stephan’s name, my entire body reacted with a weird mixture of fear and something else I really couldn’t name.

“I . . .” I didn’t know what to say. There was no way I could tell her what I was feeling and why. She knew my Master. Worked for him, even. No. I couldn’t share those things with her. I trusted her, but I didn’t trust her, if that made sense. And there I was again, in the state that I seemed to constantly live in: confusion.

Finally, I heard her sigh on the other end. “Okay. I won’t push. Stephan would have my head if I did. But will you promise to call me if you want to talk?”

I heard the pleading in her voice and couldn’t say no. “Yes.”

“Good.” She paused. “Okay, well I’d better get back to work. I’ll see you later, Brianna.”

Lily didn’t wait for me to say goodbye; she just ended the call. I was really glad she hadn’t pushed me. I didn’t think I could say no to her indefinitely, but I didn’t want to either lie to her or anger Master.

I spent the rest of my afternoon watching some home improvement shows. They really held no interest for me, but at least it was neat to see the before and after.

Usually I’d start dinner around four or four thirty, depending on what I was cooking, but tonight I just remained where I was. Master would be home soon. At least once he was here I’d have something to do.

At five twenty-five, I took my position on the floor. Less than five minutes later, Master walked through the door. I waited with my head down for him to approach me and took a deep breath when his fingers found my hair.

His hand fell away, and he reached out, helping me to stand. “Good evening, Brianna.”

It was the same greeting every evening, and I answered with the same response. “Good evening, Master.”

He stepped back from me and slipped off his suit jacket. “What would you like on your pizza?”

I knew from experience that giving him a whatever-you-wish-Master was not what he wanted. If he asked me a specific question, he expected a specific answer. “Anything but peppers and onions.”

“Very good.” The smile in his voice was clear, although I was not looking at him. It made me happy that my answer pleased him, and a small smile tugged on my own lips.

He walked away from me then, leaving me standing where I was. I heard his voice behind me ordering our pizza. It was soft and calming tonight; he was in a good mood.

Master didn’t acknowledge me as he hung up the phone, walked across the room and into his bedroom. I stood in my spot, not sure what to do but knowing he wouldn’t leave me here for long, or at least hoping he wouldn’t. I wasn’t too worried, though, given his mood. He’d give me instructions soon. So I relaxed and waited.

Several minutes later, I heard him re-enter the main room. He didn’t come toward me, though. Instead, I heard the sound of him sitting. And somehow I knew what would come next.

“Come here,” he instructed. I went to him.

He opened his arms, and I knew he wanted me to sit in his lap. We did this every night, but usually it was after dinner.

I sat demurely with my head down while he wrapped his arms around my waist.

“How are you today, Brianna?” he asked.

“I’m fine, Master.”

“What did you do while I was gone?”

And so I cataloged my day for him. He listened intently. When I’d pause, he’d prompt me to continue. These talks of ours were getting easier, but it was still strange to me. Master seemed to want to know my answers, but I didn’t know why it would matter to him. This crossed my mind every night, and I’d decided that again it didn’t matter. I would give him whatever he wanted from me.

After I was finished, he said, “Lily told me she called you. She also told me you seemed afraid to talk to her.”

I clamped my lips together. Was he angry that I hadn’t talked to her, or that she could tell I was afraid to?

His next words answered my question. “Brianna, I’m not upset with you,” he said, rubbing his right hand up and down my arm. “But I want you to know that you can talk to Lily about anything you wish. I promise that I will not be upset.” Master paused. It was obvious that he was expecting an answer from me.

“Yes, Master.”

A hand came up to cup my cheek as he lifted my eyes to his. “I’m not like Ian. I hope you know that by now, Brianna.”

I did know that. He was so completely different from my former Master. There were times in the last two-and-a-half weeks that I’d actually been happy. That had never happened in the ten months I was with Ian.

Before I could answer him though, the home phone rang. He patted my leg, indicating he wanted me to get up from his lap. I slid off and onto the floor, kneeling.

He rose from the chair and went to answer the phone. I could hear from the conversation that our pizza had arrived. When he hung up the phone again, he approached me.

Without instructing me to stand, he raised my chin so that I was looking up at him. “Set the table. I’ll be back in a few minutes, and we will eat. Then we shall watch the movie you’ve selected.” His fingers brushed my face as he released me, and then he was gone.

Knowing he wouldn’t be gone long, I set plates, napkins, glasses, and a pitcher of water on the table. Master rarely drank anything other than water except for the juice or milk he sometimes had for breakfast.

Once everything was in place, I knelt beside the table to wait for him. It took a little longer than I’d thought it would, but eventually he came back through the door, and I could smell the pizza.

I was hungry; my lunch had been hours ago. His heavy steps came toward me along with the delicious scent of cheese and grease. I heard him set the box down on the table, and then he said, “Join me.”

Tonight’s dinner was not much different than the others we’d had at this table. We ate mostly in silence, concentrating on our meal. He finished first, as usual, and watched me finish.

Afterward, he instructed me to clean up and then join him in the living room. It didn’t take long, and soon I was once again sitting in Master’s lap, and we were watching the movie.

Stephan

When Lily told me about her conversation with Brianna, I knew I needed to give her permission to speak freely, or she never would. We were making progress, little by little. She rarely hesitated anymore when we were at home and seemed happy when I walked through the door each night. It gave me hope.

Our evening sessions in my chair were making her open up. I hadn’t mentioned her time with Ian at all since she’d been with me, but I’d felt that I needed to tonight. The time would come soon for me to begin pushing her again, and she needed to know going into it that I would not act or react as he had.

I knew the trust I had gained from her thus far was fragile, but it was something. Something to build on, something I could use.

She sat on my lap with my arms surrounding her while we watched
Transformers
. It wasn’t really my type of movie, but the CGI was pretty good. I’d noticed that both times I had asked her to select something for us to watch, her choices had not been what I’d expected. Brianna’s choice of literature made me think she was a romantic, and yet she’d steered clear of the romantic comedies I had in my collection. I would have to explore that later.

It wasn’t that I was a big fan of those movies personally, but I did have guests and subs occasionally in my home. I needed to have a variety to meet various needs and tastes.

When the movie was over, I wasn’t ready to let her go. Her head was resting back against my shoulder, and she felt so right here with me. I’d always felt a sense of possession with the submissives I’d collared, but this wasn’t possessiveness exactly. That was there too, but it wasn’t just that.

I couldn’t explain it, so I pushed it aside. What I needed now was focus. “What did you think of the movie?” I asked her, turning her in my lap to face me once again.

She scrunched up her nose as if considering her answer. “There was a lot of action,” she finally answered.

“Do you like action movies?”

“Yes,” she said hesitantly.

“But?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered. I was just about to prompt her again a little sterner when she added. “I thought there’d be more story.”

I smiled. “I agree. I tend to like my movies with more depth of plot and less over-the-top graphics.” The corners of her mouth turned up.

We talked a little more about the movie before I noticed the time. There were things to do tomorrow, and we needed to get to bed. “It’s time for bed, Brianna.” She nodded and waited. I did not need to tell her what came next; she knew. The only thing she was waiting on was the instruction on who would lead tonight.

The desire to push her overwhelmed my senses, but I resisted. Not tonight. So I brought her chin up, watched as she closed her eyes, and pressed my lips to hers.

Oh, how I wanted to deepen the kiss. I wanted to tilt her head back and push my tongue between her closed lips. She would taste so sweet, and I wanted more.

But instead, I kept my lips together and contented myself with the gentle gliding and sucking motion we shared. Over the last few nights, she’d gathered confidence in our nighttime kisses and was no longer impassive. Brianna met me movement for movement.

When I pulled back, I kept a hold of her face so that when she opened her eyes, she was looking directly into mine. Her lovely blue eyes held the trust I so desperately wanted from her. I smiled, and she smiled back before we both got up and walked to our respective bedrooms.