SLEEPER (Crossfire Series) (26 page)

“Hey, no last-minute rushing to buy presents,” she said humorlessly. Not that anyone would be buying her any. By then, if everything went according to plan, the girls would be gone, and she would be…

She turned over and punched the pillow. Morbid thoughts at night. That ought to put her to sleep so much easier.

What was Reed thinking about? She’d offered him all that reward money. Wasn’t that incentive enough? He could be far, far away from here by Christmas, too, whooping it up with his new life.

Lily rubbed her eyes wearily. A new life. How ironic. They’d given her a new life and new identity, and look where she was now.

But I didn’t know!

She smiled wryly at the fierce denial. No one would believe her—not Amber, not Hawk, and especially not Brad, who’d been attracted to her. There had been something between them, something that had called to the Lily inside her to free herself. Yet, in the end, she hadn’t been able to. She hadn’t liked the things the voice had been telling her, that her friends were—

She looked up, startled. She hadn’t heard Reed coming in. She shook her head distractedly as her mind chased after the snatches of conversation in her head.

Things fall apart.
A male voice had said that. Wait, hadn’t she heard that line recently? She frowned, raking her hair carelessly.

All relationships must be severed. Only the girls. You know what will happen to the girls. What will happen if you don’t do this and save the girls, Llallana? Answer me.

“Things fall apart,” Lily muttered, then pounded the bed with excitement, repeating it louder, “Things fall apart! That’s it!”

She looked up to find Reed watching her like a hawk. He must think she’d gone mad.

“What about things falling apart?” he asked calmly, his eyes probing her face. His hands reached for her. She suddenly realized that she was trembling so hard he had to steady her.

Lily started to explain, then closed her mouth. She couldn’t tell him. Where would she start? And what would she say? Something like, “Well, Reed, I was programmed by the CIA as a sleeper cell, you see, with these embedded commands in my brain. Anyway, for some reason, they wanted to steal a weapon that could hide a bomb from this bad guy, Dilaver, and so they activated this subconscious trigger that makes me listen to them.

“Then they had me betray a few friends of mine to Dilaver so I could make a grand escape to finish my job, which was to go to this big political summit and detonate a bomb and kill everyone at that meeting. Only, one of my friends somehow got hold of me and did something to stop me—I can’t tell for sure—but this big explosion never happened. And now everyone’s mad at me—my friends who also wanted this weapon, my enemies who had this weapon, and the CIA who had—”

She started to laugh hysterically. “—who had this device in the first place and lost it,” she gasped out, then realized she’d said the last part aloud. Falling back against the pillows, she laughed so hard her sides hurt. All the while, Reed sat there, his face strangely expressionless as he watched her.

“It doesn’t make sense,” she told him in between chuckles.

“What doesn’t?”

She shook her head again. “If I tell you, you’ll be just as confused as I am now and tell me I’m certifiably insane. Then you’ll probably refuse to do what I asked of you earlier.”

“Lily, you aren’t making sense either way. But I like the way you laugh.”

She sniffed and wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand. They were damp. “That wasn’t laughter. That was hysteria.” She accepted the tissues he handed her and blew her nose hard. “Oh God, Reed, my life’s a mess. But you know what? I suddenly feel a lot better.”

“Good.” He tilted her chin. His lips were gentle against hers. “I’m glad.”

It didn’t matter that she could be angry, sad, or even freaked out. All he had to do was touch her and everything immediately became less important. One look. One touch. And dark, long-suppressed desire would surface. This time she would reach out for it.

She wanted the kiss to be longer. She was so tired of running away, fearing that she was a danger to people she cared about. She probably still was, but she’d had no contact with any phone all these months. She was very sure now that it was through the phone and not by person. She had proof.

Nikki Harden had said that same line the other day…“Things fall apart,” she’d said, when they’d been talking about weapons. And nothing had happened. Lily had even said the line aloud and it hadn’t invoked that dreaded feeling of doom she remembered experiencing during those days. She hadn’t gone off the deep end and rushed away to get the weapon.

Those damn men playing with her brain had made sure she wasn’t triggered by random sentences that might contain the line from the poem. They must have set it so that she could only be triggered through electronic means. Something easy, like a phone call.

She slid her hands up Reed’s arms. “Kiss me again,” she said. There were no embedded orders to kiss this man and make love to him. “I like the way you kiss, besides other things.”

His lips quirked. “I’m glad to know that.”

“Reed,” she said, pulling on his arm. “Come to bed. I need you here tonight.”

She was tired of lies and lying to him. She would like one night in which she could remember her emotions as being real, that it was Lily Noretski the woman who wanted this man, and not Lily the savior of all female victims seeking vengeance for her kidnapped sister. There had never been any sister; the missing sister was actually herself. Those damned assholes who had raped her mind had channeled her anger and hatred through lies, making her forever look for someone who didn’t even exist.

They’d taken away her past and tainted her future. She wasn’t going to let them control her anymore. One way or another, she would find what was real and what was programmed.

Lily smiled up at Reed, her hands caressing his shoulders as she urged him closer. All these feelings she had for this man were real. That was why she’d found so much pleasure in his touch, why she wanted him to touch her all the time. Before, she’d always had to be the one in control, and she’d never been able to find real joy in intimacy. If her emotions got too involved, some warning signal always sounded, ordering her to push away.

But not with Reed. She couldn’t get enough of his touch. And she hadn’t wanted to be in control.

Tonight she wanted to experience lovemaking with no thought of her past and future. “Are you going to refuse me this as well?” she asked, and it felt so good to know she could tease and mean it. “One night with me might change your mind.”

Reed leaned forward and trapped her against the pillows, his strong arms on either side of her. “That’d never happen,” he said. “I wanted you the first time I saw you, but there were too many things happening that got in the way.”

“Not tonight, Reed,” she told him. She slid lower down the pillows, her hands pulling at his T-shirt. “Let’s have nothing between us tonight. We’ll let things happen tomorrow, but right now I’d like to make love.”

She blinked, then bit her lower lip, trying to look chagrined. “Oh.” Oops, she had said she was tired of lying. “Well, I peeked earlier. Do you always call out the parts of your body when you’re washing?”

The intensity in his gray eyes curled her toes. He had a way of looking at her that made her heart zing around inside her like a balloon losing air.

“It’s so I don’t miss anything,” he said, climbing onto the bed now, straddling her body. He pulled his T-shirt over his head and threw it onto the floor. Her eyes were drawn to his wide shoulders and muscular chest. The man was…hot. “Now that you’re fully awake, I think I’ll have to do it all over again, just to make sure. No, I’ll take care of the shirt myself, just like before. You must lie here quietly while I concentrate.”

He slipped his knee between hers, nudging her thighs apart. She gasped at the intimate contact.

“I really love your penchant for not wearing underwear,” he said approvingly.

He pushed the T-shirt higher. She lifted her arms over her head, helping him. Even before the shirt was off, his head dipped and his mouth covered her right nipple.

The position of her arms pushed her breast higher and she gasped again when he cupped her other breast and gently squeezed. His weight trapped one of her legs, while his knee pushed her other one, nudging her open. It was a vulnerable position, similar to when he’d had her in the shower. But he didn’t touch her as he paid attention to her breasts, kissing his way up her neck, moving his knee as he did so, pushing her legs still further apart.

“Wrap your leg around me like you did when we tangoed,” he said. “That’s it.”

He gave her that devastating smile, telling her he’d known even then how much she’d wanted him too. How appropriate. The tango—the mating dance, where the woman opened herself sexually to the man.

“What now?” she asked softly, pulling her arms out of the sleeves.

“Now I get you very wet,” he told her, his hand moving lower, his finger unerringly finding the most sensitive spot. Her head rolled back. Her body was melting with a slow, burning pleasure as his finger glided slowly, delicately, across sensitive nerve endings, taking his time.

Orgasmic pleasure pushed to crash over her senses. She grabbed his arm, digging her fingers into his muscles. “No, I want you in me, Reed.”

She closed her eyes, her body already looking for release. She moved her leg restlessly, arching her back. Easing his weight off a little, he slipped his other arm under her and raised her higher. His finger continued its intimate caress, building her desire like the incessant beat of a song.

“The moment a man dips a woman in a tango, she falls back passionately, the release literally taking over. Let go for me. I’ll catch you, Lily.” His lips brushed her jaw line, the corner of her lips, her closed eyes. “Imagine my mouth doing that to you next.”

The erotic knowledge of how clever his mouth was pushed Lily over the edge. She heard herself calling out Reed’s name as waves of pleasure washed over her body.

* * *

There was such a happy brightness in her eyes that Reed couldn’t refuse her. There wasn’t any sign of the shadowy pain that always lurked in those dark eyes. She told him he’d think her crazy if she told him what was on her mind. Actually, he was already crazy. The woman had just shouted the very line he’d been warned was her embedded trigger, and then her whole personality had changed from worried and unhappy to temptingly sexy.

He should be backing away, looking for a weapon she might have hidden in the bed. She was talking about making love. There was a teasing light in her eyes he’d never seen before when she brought up their shower together.

The minx had been aware of his difficulty that night and had pretended to still be unconscious as he’d struggled, trying not to think about her nudity sexually. She was laughing at him now, challenging him.

He couldn’t help himself. The woman must deliberately not wear anything underneath that T-shirt. Knowing that drove him nuts while they ate dinner.

And now, as she came in his arms, he realized he was crazy all right, crazy for this woman. He’d broken all kinds of professional rules where she was concerned.

At first he’d chalked it up to attraction, but he’d been fascinated with her since that first glimpse of her through his night scope. It was the strength of the woman, he realized, that had pulled her to him. And despite her being in danger, that strength had persisted and stubbornly pushed her on, putting those she loved first, and his admiration had escalated as he’d watched her.

He’d grown up pretty much a loner, and he recognized the same in Lily. He understood her in the intrinsic way that a soul recognizes its mate. He knew his aloofness came from the fact he felt he didn’t belong, even among his teammates, who were like brothers to him. Lily, with her manipulated memories, must have felt something missing too, just enough to always put space between her and others. And added to that was the pain of betrayal and being betrayed and the sense of loss that followed. He had an idea how devastating it must have been for her when the truth—the fact her perception of reality wasn’t accurate—had come crashing down.

Stimoceiver, hypnotic manipulation, subconscious trigger—he went through all the terms that had been floating in his brain ever since he’d gone through training with GEM. He’d argued all night with himself, but a few facts had actually emerged while he’d tried to find a way to handle the situation.

It was clear that Lily wasn’t being controlled consciously or subconsciously right now, or why would there be a reward for finding her? Obviously, whoever her handler was couldn’t reactivate her. Finally, Lily’s decision to turn herself in was proof she knew why someone was after her and she was actually running from them.

“You’re beautiful when you come,” he told her. Inside and out.

He lowered her back onto the bed, watching her as she stretched lethargically. She traced his face with her fingers, slowly circling his eyes, outlining the shape of his lips. He turned and caught one finger between his teeth, nipping her gently.