Authors: Elle Lothlorien
“…nothing to base this on but the one time I saw her, and what you and West have told me,” he says.
“How far apart are they now?” says Davin.
“She had one last night, about nine o’clock. One before lunch yesterday. Now this one.”
“Close.”
“Yeah.” There’s a pause, and then he says, “Thanks for not panicking when she fainted.”
“What do you mean?”
“You just pulled out your phone and called me. Most people would have freaked out and yelled for help. The whole place would’ve been in a goddam uproar.”
“There was nothing wrong with her,” says Davin. “I’ve seen her do this before.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Plus, Claire would have been pissed if I’d done that.”
I hear Brendan chuckle. “Yeah, I know. That’s why I’m thanking you.” He sighs. “So…what do you think?”
“What do you mean…how long will it be now?”
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I mean.”
I try to open my eyes or move my lips, but I’m still paralyzed. I’m breathing normally, but I can’t take over control of my diaphragm in order to grunt or groan my displeasure at being talked about like I’m a carrot that’s been preserved and put up for the winter.
“I think that this is the last time she faints before, well, you know…” says Davin.
“That’s what I figured too. West agrees.”
The silence goes on for so long that I start to think I’ve fallen asleep, or that they’ve walked out of the room without me hearing it.
“Doc?” says Davin.
“Yeah?”
“Do you know why we call you ‘Doc?’”
“Uh, well, I’m not sure how these nicknames get assigned, but I figured it was–”
“I mean, you
are
a doctor, right? You have an actual medical degree? You’re not just operating on people’s brains as, like, a side hobby, are you?”
I hear Brendan exhaling rapidly through his nose the way he does when he’s trying not to laugh out loud.
“So if you’re the doctor, and her little bro’ agrees, then that makes this little visit a total tow-at.”
I still can’t move my lips, but I’m outraged.
Hey!
I shout at Davin in my loudest mental voice.
You stole my only original surfing metaphor!
“A what?”
Davin sighs. “You could’ve gotten a third opinion from me over the phone. What’d you bring my crippled ass down here for, hodad?”
More silence. I try like hell to open my eyes, even a sliver, so I can see if they’re watching the stock market ticker on the flat screen, or getting ready to dual.
“You know what’s going to happen,” says Brendan. “She’ll get agitated. She’s
already
agitated about it.”
“Yeah, I know, Doc. I’ve seen her do this before. I was the one who almost died on the witness stand at your trial talking about it, remember?”
“She’s complaining about not being awake for the birth and all that, but I know she’s really freaking out about going into another episode. She’s terrified of having West here.”
He snorts. “She’s never touched her brother.”
“Maybe not, but she’s doubly scared now after what I said on the stand about patients attacking family members.” He pauses. “I don’t want to be with her alone when it happens.”
“I think you’re safe from another assault charge, Doc.”
“It’s not that. I don’t want her to hurt herself or the baby. Or me,” he throws on as an afterthought.
Davin laughs. “Yeah, I can appreciate that. But you’ve got a whole hospital full of–”
“They’ll give her a sedative.”
“Why? It’s only going to last a few minutes. She’ll get a little mad, then she’ll fall asleep. She won’t remember it anyway.”
“Which is why I don’t plan on calling anyone for help when it happens.”
“But you just said you didn’t want to be here alone with her when–” He stops short. “Whoa, wait a minute. No, no, no. No way, Doc. That’s a terrible idea.”
“We get a bunch of pillows, and make sure she’s on the floor,” says Brendan, as if Davin never spoke. “If we both hold her, I don’t think she’ll fight for long.”
“Have you thought about how this’ll look if someone walks in?”
“No one will walk in,” he says. “She’s only here for observation until she goes into labor. I’ve given strict orders for privacy unless I think there’s an emergency.” He shrugs. “One of the benefits of being a physician.”
My eyelids flutter a little, but when I open them a crack, neither Davin nor Brendan is looking at me. Davin’s staring down at his black cast with a pensive look.
“What if she tries to, you know, touch me or something?” he says. “What do you want me to do?”
“Just don’t hurt her,” says Brendan.
Davin shakes his head. “You say that now, but you’re not going to be feeling too cool about that if it happens.”
“Look, I know we’ve never talked about this before, but I wish we had. I don’t have any ill-will towards you, if that’s what you’re worried about. Your offense–if that’s what is was–was against West, not me. I don’t know the details, and Claire and I weren’t even together when that happened with you two. And you saved my ass in that courtroom with that little stunt of yours, so as far as I’m concerned
I’m
the one who owes
you
.”
He chuckles. “Think I have a future in acting?”
“I hope so in case your surfing career doesn’t take off like you hoped. And not a lot of people can projectile vomit blood on cue.” I hear Brendan clear his throat, like he does when he’s about to say something he’s dreading. “She–I mean, you know Claire loves you too, right?”
“Yeah, I know. She just loves you a whole lot more.” He pulls on the wheels and rolls backwards a few inches. “You’re a lot better for her, Doc. Medical school was optional in college for computer geeks like me. If something really serious happened to her, I wouldn’t have any idea what to do.”
“You don’t give yourself enough credit, Wib. It’s not easy caring for someone with a long-term illness. Even family gets burned out after awhile.”
“Yeah, well taking care of someone who doesn’t want anyone to take care of her is a lot easier. You end up with all sorts of free time on your hands.”
They share a laugh at my expense.
“What’s the plan for after?” says Davin.
“Once she falls asleep, I think we can just put her back on the bed. We’ll pull the safety rails up so she won’t–”
“Not
that
plan, Doc. The plan for the little grommet. How’s that going to work with her out of it? You taking a leave of absence or something?”
Brendan groans and runs his hands through his hair. “You have no idea how much stress this is causing me, man. I took off a lot of time for the trial. The state medical board dropped the investigation against me, so I really can’t afford to stay away from work now, not if I ever hope to rebuild my career.”
“So Claire’s at home by herself? That doesn’t sound like a good plan, brah.”
“My mother and father are coming out right after the baby comes home. My dad’s leaving after a few days, but my mother’s staying for a couple of weeks. West says he’ll be around as much as he can. In the meantime, I’ll find an in-home nurse to stay with us full-time until Claire comes out of it.”
Davin shakes his head. “You gotta have more than one person there all the time, man. What if she gets violent during the episode? One person to deal with her
and
the little grom? Terrible idea.”
“I know, I know. I’m still working it all out.”
“You start her on that drug cocktail yet? The one that’s supposed to shorten the episodes?”
Brendan sets his jaw. “No.”
“Yeah, I didn’t think so. She’s pissed, right?”
“You could say that.”
“She’ll get over it once she thinks it over. If something bad happened to the grom because she took meds, she wouldn’t forgive herself.” He sticks his fingers inside the top of his cast and scratches his skin. “What about after the baby’s born? Can’t you dose her up then so she’s like she was the last time? I mean, she was pretty normal most of the time.”
“She wants to nurse the baby, so I told her that we can’t.”
Davin laughs. “Did you ask her what her big, zombie plan for nursing a baby’s going to be? ‘Cause that’s what she’s going to be like without those drugs you gave her last time.” He snickers some more. “She wouldn’t even take a shower unless you kicked her into the bathroom. Ninety percent of the time, she functioned at the level of a potty-trained three-year-old.”
“I know.”
“I’m guessing I don’t have to tell you that she’s probably not going to remember much of her episode when she wakes up for good, whether you give her the cocktail or not.”
“No, I know she won’t.”
“So I don’t have to tell you how that works in your favor, right?”
I crack my lids again. Brendan’s staring at Davin, like he’s working through whatever nugget Davin’s just tossed to him.
“…
that works in your favor
?”
I think to myself.
I
don’t even know what he’s talking about.
Brendan must be a lot sharper than me. He breaks eye contact with Davin. “Yeah, I’ve taken that into consideration.”
“Problem solved then.”
“I guess so.” He swings his head my way, so I jam my eyes shut. “She’s taking an awful long time to wake up this time.”
“Oh, I’d say she’s been awake for about five minutes now.” Davin smacks me a few times on the leg. “Right, Claire-Bo?”
I open my eyes and glare at him.
“Oh, great,” Brendan groans. “Great, this is just what I needed!”
“She’ll be okay, Doc. Give us a few minutes?”
I can tell that leaving me alone with Davin is dead last on his list of things to do at the moment. Knocking some of his teeth out is probably closer to the top.
“It’s okay,” I mumble to Brendan, my lips still feeling sort of numb. I squeeze his hand and smile. “Really.”
He shoots Davin a look that would kill a lesser man and stalks out.
“How’d you know?” I say.
“I saw your toe twitch right around the time we were discussing the origins of his nickname. Sorry.”
“Why’d you do that?”
“Time saver mostly,” he says. “Seemed stupid to say it to him and then repeat it to you fifteen minutes later.”
I know he’s kidding. I wait for him to say something more profound.
“What do I always tell you, gidget?”
I sigh and rub my hand across my forehead. “I don’t know, let’s see. ‘When the power goes out, sit down and play Trivial Pursuit by candlelight?’”
He laughs. “Close. And in your case, the power going out is probably more accurate.”
“‘Don’t waste your energy picking up the pieces,” I say in a glum voice. “Sit back and wait for the puzzle.’”
He nods. “All this frothin’ is just a big time-waster, that’s all I’m saying. It’s all going to even out, so just let it ride.”
“Is it the drugs you take that make you so unbearably optimistic?”
“I think those were
your
drugs making me optimistic,” he says with a fake punch to my thigh. “I’ve been a lot more cynical since I ran out of those.”
“Are you and Brendan planning on telling me what the big plan is for my episode?”
“Nah, I think it’s best if you we just feed you some bullshit story after the fact.”
I feel my eyes well up again, my lower lip quivering. “You have no idea how sad this is making me.”
He frowns. “I can see your heart breaking from here, Claire-Bo, trust me.”
“I’m not going to remember anything. I’m going to wake up and there’s just going to be some strange kid in my house that I won’t know at all. I won’t know how to take care of her. What if I don’t like her?”
“No one’s going to let that happen.”
“Really?” I say, sitting up with a jerk. “And how’s that going to work exactly?”
“Just sit back and wait for the puzzle.”
I drop back onto the pillows and sigh. “I never liked puzzles. I preferred games where you shot at things and killed them.”
“Did you catch Doc’s plan for your final flail before you go over the falls?”
What Davin means is this:
Did you hear Brendan’s idea for dealing with the violent, hypersexual outburst that will occur directly before the onset of your episode?
“I heard.”
“And?”
“And what?” I say irritably. “It sounds like you guys have everything planned out already. What do you need me for? Sounds like I just have a walk-on part.”
“I need you to tell me if you want me here, for one thing. To help him when it happens.”
“Why wouldn’t I want you here?”
“You’re kidding me, right?” He rolls the chair back and forth a few times. “I’m thinking that if you try to make any, uh,
advances
on me that involve more than a handshake, your hubs is going to have me euthanized like a shelter dog.”
I roll my eyes. “Davin, he won’t. He knows I don’t know what I’m doing. And he doesn’t know about…well, you know. I tried to tell him, but he just said it wasn’t any of his business, that he didn’t want to hear it.”
“I don’t know how he thinks I’m going to help anyway,” he says waving his hands at his cast. “He could have brought someone a little healthier on-board in case you decide to try to kick my ass again.”
I smile. “I thought you decided making out with a girl was better than getting beat up by one? You could always try that strategy.”
“That approach will
not
fly this session.”
I reach for his hand and give it a squeeze. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too, gidget.”
I tug on his hand before he pulls it away. “Can you stand up?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Why, you want to line dance or something?”
I smile and pull his arm again. “C’mere. I was going to give you a hug.”
He looks over his shoulder at the door. “Better not. I’m going to get Doc before he thinks I’m waiting for a breaker to ride in here.”
“Fine,” I say, a little tweaked that he won’t even give me a hug. On the other hand, with me this close to an episode, the less skin contact we have the better. “I have something I need to do anyway.”
I pull a pad of paper and a pen from the overpriced plastic nightstand as he backs the chair away from the bed. Before he can spin it around towards the door I say, “Hey, before you go…” I tap the pen on the pad, trying to appear casual. “About how many minutes pass before you
think
something is wrong and you
know
it?”