Sleeping through the Beauty (2 page)

Phillip stood out of the way while Mrs. Briar fluttered around Rose’s bedside. The older woman tucked in covers, and then, without anything left to do, she combed her daughter’s short, blonde hair.

After the tender grooming, Mrs. Briar slipped the comb into her purse. “Rose is going to hate how short her hair is. They had to remove a section of her skull to reduce the swelling.” She smoothed the hair off of Rose’s forehead and then kept her palm flat against her forehead as if unable to break the contact. While she never said a word, her expression spoke volumes about the love and pain she was feeling.

After watching from the doorway, Phillip finally walked over and stood by the side of Rose’s bed. Her expression was so serene and she had to be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen before. Her skin had the appearance of the finest alabaster, but without its coldness or hardness. It took every ounce of willpower to not reach out and run a hand down the length of her arm to see if it was as soft as it appeared to be. It also wasn’t exactly correct to call the color of her hair simply blonde, because that was too general of a term to describe the shimmering highlights that sparkled and shimmered, even under the harsh overhead fluorescent lights.

Rose was dressed in brightly colored pajamas designed with pink and purple flowers and trimmed with purple satin. Even though their activity echoed loudly around the almost bare décor of the room, her thick lashes never moved or gave any indication that she was aware there were visitors in her room. As he stared at her peaceful expression, it was difficult for Phillip to imagine she might never wake up again. That thought made Phillip’s chest tighten and for a moment, he found it hard to exhale. She was too perfect to be doomed to such an existence. Surely, she was destined for far more. She had plans, dreams, hopes, and a bright future ahead of her. How many people did he know who had nothing but selfish plans and the only dreams they had were for no one other than themselves? Surely, God didn’t waste the best part of mankind to the confines of a nursing home bed, trapped within a damaged brain. Phillip refused to believe that was to be Rose’s fate. She had to wake up one day and do all the good things she had planned on doing. People would profit from her goodness.

“Did Rose have any of her plans written down?” His voice sounded loud in the small space, so he cleared his throat and lowered it. “I know a few people who might be able to help make her dream for the youth center become a reality.” Maybe this was why he had trained in the legal field when his heart had yearned for another profession. He had the knowhow and he was acquainted with people who had the money and resources at their disposal to put such a project together. With Rose’s vision, there wasn’t any reason her dream couldn’t be a reality in the near future.

Phillip reached out and touched Rose’s hand. Even though he would have liked to be able to keep it there a little longer, he only lingered long enough to absorb some of her warmth before pulling his hand away again. “We should get the ball rolling for her so when Rose wakes up, she’ll see that we believed in her enough to carry on with her dreams. The moment she comes out of the coma, we’ll turn the project over for her to run. She can finish what we weren’t able to complete.”

When Phillip met Mrs. Briar’s eyes, he was pleased to find her smiling. Her voice sounded hopeful. “Do you think she would like that?”

In spite of being exhausted, Phillip pushed through the nursing home double doors and waved at all of the familiar faces.

“Mrs. Burks, what are you still doing up this time of night!” Phillip leaned forward so he was at eye level with the older woman.

Mrs. Burks was alert, but because of an earlier stroke, she was sitting slumped over to one side in the wheelchair. She didn’t answer, but after carefully studying his face, she gave a cheeky grin that revealed a healthy pink set of gums.

Phillip knelt and covered one of her wrinkled hands with his. “You waited up for me?” He couldn’t stop from laughing when her answer was devilish wink. “Mrs. Burks! Are you flirting with me? What will I tell Mr. Burks? You’ll have us fighting duels over you next. My reputation will be tarnished beyond repair.” He stood and kissed the top of her head and then gently lifted her chin so she could see his face. He leaned in and whispered so only she could hear. “If you ever need a knight in shining armor, I’m your man. I’m not much of a horseman, but for you I would do everything within my power to protect your honor.” He leaned and kissed the side of her cheek. He gave her one last smile before hurrying down the long hall toward his ultimate goal, Rose’s room.

Phillip closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pushing through the door to Rose’s room. He reopened them only after he was fully in her room and the door was closed. It was a silly game he had been playing ever since he began visiting Rose every night after work. It was an irrational hope that one evening he would discover her sitting up and alert. The moment his eyes were open, a stab of disappointment pierced his heart. Rose was still lying with her eyes closed. Nothing had changed since his last visit.

To brighten his mood, Phillip began humming so Rose wouldn’t be able to sense his deep disappointment. He carried the bouquet of yellow roses over to the vase and pulled out the old flowers. He busied himself with adding fresh water to the vase and disposing of the old flowers before finally walking back to Rose’s bedside. In the first moment of stillness, he marveled again at how beautiful she was.

How many hours had he spent memorizing each dimple, the curve of her cheeks, or even each breath she took and released? What he longed for but refused to voice was for her to open her eyes and see him. Was she able to hear his many conversations over the last few months? It had been easy to talk about the years of neglect. After all of that had been purged from his system, he had told her about every single forgotten hope and dream. Every night, even though he didn’t think he would have anything else to say, he would sit by her side and have each and every word tumble from the bottom of his soul. He told Rose things he didn’t know he had thought about or even knew he yearned for.

“The paperwork came in this morning for Rose’s Security Blanket Foundation. I almost came right over as soon as my secretary placed it on my desk.” He waited for a reaction, even though he wasn’t expecting any. So why he was disappointed when Rose’s expression didn’t change was a mystery only his heart knew.

Phillip sighed and walked around the foot of the bed to the only window in the room. The night nurses hadn’t lowered the blinds yet and even though it was too dark to see anything, he stared out at the night’s blackness. “How did I get here, Rose? I’ve told you things I’ve never told anyone. I only feel complete the moment I walk in here and see you’re okay. I have fallen in love with you and you’ve never even seen my face. I only know what your voice sounds like from your mom’s home movies. My being here is crazy, right?” There was nothing but silence for a reply, so he continued staring out the window. “The money’s rolling in for your foundation. We have enough to begin three of the dormitories, but I need your advice on what to do next. Even though I have all of your notes, it’s not the same. I need your passion for this to ever work like I know you want it to.”

He glanced back toward the bed, but there wasn’t any movement or indication that she heard anything of his words or pleas. He drew in deep breath and then released a weary sigh. He jammed both hands into his pants pockets and turned back to face the blackness. His next words were directed toward the window and he said in all but a whisper, “Who am I kidding? I need you. I need you more than I have ever needed anything in my entire life. I have been asleep to the beauty out there, but you saw it, didn’t you? My entire life I have dwelled on only the negative aspects of my life. I never saw the possibilities until I met you.

“Did you know your mother lent me all of your journals? I don’t think she knew just how much of your personal life you had entered in them. But every word in them indicates that you’ve always known your place in the universe, and what you were capable of doing to make it a better place. I’m ashamed to say that all I ever saw is what had been stolen from me. I never thought I owed the world anything. I have been so blind. Now here I am and I see what you saw all along and there you are sleeping and missing the life you envisioned. It breaks my heart to know you are missing this beauty. I don’t think you want that, so stop sleeping your life away.

“Please wake up, Rose. I want that for you more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life. Even with me knowing the moment you do, you’re not going to remember my words to you. I’m also aware that you’re never going to feel for me what I feel for you, but that’s okay because it will be enough to have you whole again, to see you smile and just to hear your voice. It will it all have been enough.

“I will hold this time in this room with you close to my heart forever and remember your sighs. I will hold all of this close to my heart. Even though you might not remember my words to you, I’ll remember that for a short time I had to you all to myself. You are destined for more than this bed and this room. You are destined to live your life to its fullest and for me that will be enough, so wake up, my beautiful Rose. Please wake, my love.”

When Phillip finally turned to face Rose, the moment he did, he could feel the change in the room before he saw it and even when he did, he had to walk over to the bed to make certain he was really seeing what he thought he saw. He knelt by the side of the bed. “You have beautiful eyes.”

He threw his head back and laughed. He then ran out of the room to get a nurse.

“Why are you here again? You don’t have to do this, you know.”

Phillip caught Rose around the waist before she crumpled to the floor. It was bittersweet being so near, but at the same time so far away. He gathered her into his arms and then sat her in the nearest chair. He knelt to be near, but managed to keep the concern out of his voice. “You don’t have do this either, but here you are overdoing it again so you’ll be able to be your sister’s bridesmaid next week.”

He touched her cheek, but refrained from caressing her hair, even though he longed to run his fingers through it ever since walking into the room. He wanted more than anything to take a strand of it between two fingers and to caress it as he had done without her permission in the nursing home. He missed those daily visits. The hardest part of it all was she did not know who he was, or the part he had played in her life over the last few months. He had tried to stay away at first, but since he was still overseeing her foundation, he had found one excuse after the other to be with her to talk business.

He hadn’t forgotten the pact with himself to be content with her being out of the coma, so he tried to bury the pain of having her only seeing him as someone who was nothing more than a soon-to-be brother-in-law. She wasn’t indifferent to him, but he wasn’t anything other than a complete stranger to her. Even though he had watched every home movie and had read her deepest thoughts from the pages of her personal journals, she knew nothing about him and seemed content to keep it that way.

To regain control over his emotions, Phillip stood and put some distance between the two of them.

With a stubborn set to her jaw, Rose pushed out of the chair. “I have to do this for Donna. All we ever talked about growing up was about how we were going to be in each other’s weddings. Donna and I chose the colors for the flowers and dresses for both of our weddings when we were just teenagers. I have to do this for me too. You have no idea how hard it is to wake up and realize you’ve slept away fifteen months of your life. I can never get that time back, so I’m determined not to miss one more moment of my life.”

Even though she wavered at first, she seemed to find an inner strength and managed to straighten. Her deep blue eyes sent him a challenge, so he nodded and walked over next to her in case she grew tired and needed his help again.

Rose walked slowly but steadily. “You never answered me. Why are you here helping me and not at work? I’m certain you must have better things to do with your time than babysit me. You’re still in your high-class lawyer duds. You’re not playing hooky today, are you? I would hate for you to be fired because of me.”

She swayed and bumped up against Phillip, so he wrapped an arm around her waist to steady her, but as soon as he felt her back muscles tighten against his hold, he released her again. “I’m not playing hooky. I brought some papers over for you to sign and about a half dozen more checks that have been donated.” He watched from the corner of his eye to make certain she was stable. He tried only to help if she was in danger of falling. It was hard watching her struggle at regaining the full use of her legs. “Besides, I’m the best man. It’s my job to be your backup. You do know you can always count on me to be your backup, right?”

They walked in unison across her mother’s living floor and while she didn’t answer his question, she did utter a couple of curse words when she stumbled and almost fell again. Unable to stand to see her in pain another moment longer, Phillip scooped her up and carried her over to the sofa. After gently lowering her onto it, he sat beside her.