Gathering her strength with an effort, she shifted toward him until she could sprawl limply across him, curled against his side with one and one leg flung across him. He stiffened. For many moments he simply lay unmoving. Finally, he rolled slightly toward her and curled his arms around her. She drifted off with the comforting skate of his hand along her back.
It was the light brush of his lips along her shoulder that roused her toward awareness. She struggled against attaining full awareness, waiting for another caress. Instead, he rolled away from her. She felt the mattress shift as his weight left it and then heard the distinctive rustle of his clothing.
He was leaving! Her heart slammed almost painfully against her chest wall. She tensed, readying herself to leap up, and then forced herself to relax again. He hadnt wakened her. He wouldnt welcome a tearful good-bye.
Swallowing against the emotion that abruptly clogged her throat she lay as still as she could, searching the darkened room for him, listening to his movements as he dressed. When hed finished it seemed he simply stood staring at her. Hope surged through her that he would come back to her, tell her goodbye, maybe kiss her one last time.
She thought she felt that want in him, but maybe it was only her own desires she felt? After a few moments she heard a faint, unidentifiable sound. The door?
Shed just decided it was when she saw the light. It had already begun to fade by the time she scrambled up to look. She stared at the faint glow where hed been standing only moments before until there was only darkness and finally lay down again.
The urge to cry swept over her in an inescapable avalanche. For once, she didnt try to fight it off. For once, it was safe to allow her grief and hurt full reign. There was no one to hear, no one to care or judge her for having no control over her emotions. She cried until she was so exhausted sleep claimed her again.
It was the maid that woke her, tapping on the door and announcing that she was from housekeeping. Come back later! Sybil bellowed, uncaring of how surly she sounded.
Chapter Twelve
Anka was still seething when he reached the ship. He didnt know if he was more furious about his slip or Sybils reaction to it. He supposed it was unfair to be angry with her when hed gone out of his way to play up those traits they had in common with, or similar to, humans and downplay the things that made them very different. Shed seemed to accept him so easily, though, hed allowed himself to believe the differences wouldnt matter to her, that she truly did accept him for what he was.
Clearly he was wrong, he thought wryly. The horror on her face when shed seen his claws was still a painful image in his mind.
It was just as well, he told himself angrily. Sooner or later he was bound to slip up. He
was
what he was. He couldnt change that even if he wanted to and he didnt. He had as much pride in his own heritage as she did.
In any case, that chapter was closed. He would not see her again. Hed done all that he could to help her people come to terms with the fact that they were here to stay. Now he had to focus on making certain they had a place to stay.
Very likely, as angry as the incident had made him, it was for the best for both him and Sybil. He was left in no doubt that he was still a monster in her eyes and she was left with no doubt that he was.
* * * *
A week passed in abject misery, two. Time seemed to have warped out of shape. In some ways it seemed every day dragged by and then something would jolt Sybil out of her absolute focus on her grief and she would discover days had passed without her even being aware of it.
It was easy to lose track of time on the moon-harder to track it when the days and nights were marked on a clock rather than the rising and setting of the sun. The job shed been assigned to was a shit detail, but Sybil hardly noticed or cared when she did. In the back of her mind she knew it was the militarys way of expressing their displeasure with her decision to take her knowledge and experience out of the work pool, but she couldnt summon much in the way of resentment about it.
She was aware of the ticking clock because of that realization, though. She knew she should be working out a game plan for what she would do when she was discharged, but she couldnt seem to gather any enthusiasm for it and finally decided it was just as well. How could she make plans anyway until she knew what options she might have?
It finally occurred to her that she might ought to explore a few options for employment and she went to the public terminal to look for possibilities. She had a degree in geology, but she thought she had a better chance getting something in management-maybe.
It wasnt until she received a threat, thinly veiled as an invitation, from Congressman Webbs office that she remembered Meachum had insisted on talking to her about a job prospect. Unnerved when she realized shed missed that appointment and that hed probably interpreted it as a deliberate snub if not a challenge of his authority, Sybil accessed her calendar and made an unpleasant discovery.
Shed missed her cycle. The jolt that sent through her brought her more alert than anything had in a while and she checked the calendar again a little more frantically, trying to convince herself that shed just forgotten to mark her last cycle down or shed miscounted. Her last cycle
should
have started a week after Anka had arrived on the moon for the peace talks. It didnt take a lot of searching to realize she hadnt just forgotten to make a note of it. She hadnt marked it because it hadnt happened.
Oh god! Oh my god!
She didnt take birth control even though the military absolutely insisted upon it. She hadnt seen any reason to foul her body with potentially dangerous drugs when she didnt even have sex!
Except she had-with Anka!
Dropping her head into her hands she considered that, but it just seemed so unreal she couldnt grasp it. Sure it had crossed her mind that things had changed-she had a lover. She was having sex. But he wasnt
human
, damn it! He shouldnt have been able to impregnate her!
She struggled to think, to get a grip on her scattered wits. Maybe it was just a fluke? One of those emotional zigs that zagged and disrupted her cycle? It was rare. Her cycles were usually so regular she couldve bet on them, but it
did
happen and there was no getting around the fact that shed had a tremendous upset when theyd been captured.
Except shed had her damned cycle as usual when shed come back. It was the one after that that hadnt made an appearance. So maybe shed had a delayed reaction?
She struggled to accept that as a reasonable explanation and finally discarded it. Anka had beaten the odds and gotten her pregnant. There was no getting around it no matter how hard she worked to dismiss the possibility.
It wouldnt work, she realized abruptly, feeling an odd mixture of relief and deep disappointment. Maybe it
had
happened, but it was bound to spontaneously abort when they couldnt possibly be closely enough related genetically for it to develop. Even if she didnt spontaneously abort, she needed to consider aborting it-for its sake.
She thrust that thought aside. She simply couldnt consider it, not now, not when she missed Anka so much she almost wished she could die and get over the pain. In any case, she sure as hell couldnt go to the base clinic for something like that! Not that it should have mattered about the pills shed flushed instead of taking them when she was getting out in a matter of weeks anyway, but their reach went beyond the military. She was going to have a hard enough time finding a job. She didnt need a black mark on her record to make it impossible.
Her cycle was due. Maybe it would start and she could dismiss her fears?
Under the circumstances, she decided she really,
really
couldnt afford to decline the congressmans invitation. She was in no state to wage a mental battle, but she had no choice and she presented herself at the appointed time and place.
Meachum received her. She supposed she wasnt important enough to actually speak to the congressman himself.
Have a seat, Lieutenant.
She wouldve preferred to stand, but her knees were weak and she felt more than a little nauseous. She sat down.
He made a pretense of ignoring her to study the contents of a file, waiting until she shifted restlessly to address her again. As I mentioned to before, we have a job in mind that we feel youre uniquely qualified for.
Actually, I dont recall that you said that. What do mean uniquely qualified? she asked, feeling the nausea intensify.
Youre
relationship with Commander lKartay, he said bluntly.
Sybil blinked at him, struggling to control the guilty blush trying to climb her cheeks. It was useless of course. Excuse me?
He gave her a narrow eyed, assessing look. Instead of saying more, however, he turned the display on his desk. Sybil stared at the screen without any comprehension whatsoever for several moments. Slowly, her brain began to recognize the pixels on the screen and they resolved into an image that sent the blood rushing from her head. She surged to her feet. How the
fuck
did you get that?
Ill give you two guesses and the last one doesnt count, he said coldly. Did you completely forget military protocol, Lieutenant? Or were you just too preoccupied to think about it?
That picture is from the bathroom in the god damned hotel, Sybil snarled, pointing a shaking picture at it. And it was private! How dare you spy on me when I was off duty and off base!
We had Commander lKartay under surveillance from the time he arrived! he growled at her, tapping his keyboard angrily to display one image after another, images captured from inside her quarters.
Under other circumstances, Sybil was sure she wouldve been so embarrassed she would have crumbled beneath his accusing stare. At the moment, however, she was just plain furious.
So? Do you have anything to say?
Sybils lips tightened. Could I get copies? I actually didnt get any of the footage myself!
That set him back but only momentarily. You still mean to deny you have a relationship with this
creature?
It took all Sybil could do to refrain from knocking his teeth down his throat. Anka wasnt a
creature
! He was more of a man that that slimy bastard could ever hope to be! If youll notice, we were fucking. Do you consider it a relationship every time you fuck somebody?
You want to play hardball? Fine! He punched up a video and turned the volume wide open. Everything inside of her crumpled as she listened to Ankas teasing voice and watched him caress her. Why hadnt she realized before that his gentle touch seemed so much more than casual sex or even passion, she thought mournfully? She wilted back into her chair.
What do you want?
Satisfaction flickered in his eyes. We want you to continue your relationship. You already have a far better understanding of the aliens than anyone else. The relationship between the two of you should make it easier to pick up on things.
Sybil thought she would throw up. The only reason she fought the urge to puke all over him and his desk was because she didnt want to let him know just how offensive she found his suggestion. It also flickered through her mind that it might make him suspicious of her condition. Spy, you mean? she demanded through stiff lips.
His brows rose. Naturally, wed expect you to pass on any information you might chance to overhear, but not per se. Mostly were interested in the possibility that you might have some influence on him in our favor.
The treaty has been signed, Sybil gasped. What possible influence could I have on something already done? Even supposing I had any influence with him! Regardless of what you think, he left me here without a backward glance. Do you honestly think he wouldnt have at least tried to get me to go with him if Id meant a damned thing to him-beyond bed partner?
Maybe, maybe not. He did agree to allow us to put both a base and an embassy on Venus-and that was his concession, by the way. The others didnt seem keen on the idea. Obviously, he isnt totally against some interaction between us
And thats where youll come in handy. Youll be assigned to the embassy. You will welcome him to your bed whenever he has any interest and you will find out what you can about them, their intentions
We would be delighted to get our hands on any of their technology.
Sybils heart gave a hopeful thump, but she ignored it. She didnt know why Anka had agreed to it, but she thought they were really reaching to decide it had anything at all to do with her. Shed told him she was leaving the service so he wouldnt have expected her to be stationed there and he knew she was military so hed had no reason to think she might be attached to the embassy in any capacity.
Technology, my ass! You mean weapons! Exactly how the fuck do you think Id work that into the bedroom conversation? All that aside, we already
have
enough to kill every man, woman, child, and animal on the planet several times over and I dont have a hell of a lot of confidence in the governments restraint-in fact pretty much none! Do you think everybody hasnt begun to suspect the little covert operations going on under the wire? That they dont think its damned curious that people are dropping like flies from diseases that come out of nowhere? Or we dont know you arent above clearing away a little excess population for the greater good, which means the rich and fat!
Im sorry, she said flatly, although she wasnt. Im afraid I dont really have the skills you need for this job. Beyond that, as I said, Anka left. Neither you nor I have any reason to suppose he would consider taking up where he left off even if I went and
I have other plans.
Sit down, he growled when she started to rise. I dont think you understand me. This isnt actually a request. Its more in the nature of a deal-Either you willingly cooperate with your government or your government will be bringing charges of treason against you for not only fraternizing with a potentially dangerous enemy of the United States but passing potentially dangerous information to that enemy.
Sybil gaped at him in disbelief and outrage. He couldnt
spit without having it analyzed! You know damned well I never passed any information, harmful or not! And what the hell was the treaty about if not to bind us as friends and allies?
Meachum came to his feet, leaning across the desk threateningly. What I know,
Lieutenant
, is that they are the biggest threat this country has ever faced! What I know is that they have technology that makes ours look like a kids science experiment! What I
know
is that they plucked a moon out of orbit around Jupiter and dropped in orbit around Venus as if they were picking up a fucking
ball
and tossing it at a net! What I know is that we have no clue of what their actual intentions are toward us or what theyre capable of, but we can guess and it scares the pure piss out of me! It ought to scare you, too!