Sleigh Bells in the Snow (30 page)

By Jackson.

She turned her head and saw him laughing at something Tyler had said.

He’d dropped everything to come home and support his family. He was there for them, all the time, even when they drove him crazy, because Jackson O’Neil wasn’t a man who walked away.

She thought about that first night when she’d messed up her presentation and he’d insisted she stay. She thought about the night she’d been on her own and miserable and he’d refused to leave her. She thought about the sled ride through the forest and the times they’d laughed. And she thought about making love with him.

It had felt perfect, and the things that made it perfect were the same things that made him absolutely, totally the wrong man for her.

She sat still, frozen by the realization that she’d allowed herself to care.

How had that happened?
How?

“Time for presents!” Jess leaped up from her chair, and Maple barked furiously, fired up by the excitement in the room.

Kayla stood, too, like a robot executing a preprogrammed movement. “I ought to be getting back to my cabin.”

She shouldn’t have come. She should have worked, instead of allowing herself to spend time with them.

“You can’t leave now!” Elizabeth took her hand and squeezed. “We’re opening presents. You’re part of that. Let’s go into the living room. We can clear up later.”

Before she could even draw breath, Kayla was seated by the Christmas tree she’d helped decorate days earlier.

Maple jumped onto her lap, and Kayla hugged the dog, trying to work out how she’d got in so deep so fast.

Jess was on her knees in front of the tree, sorting through presents.

“This pile is for Grandma—” She read labels and handed out presents while Kayla sat, awkward and self-conscious, grateful for Maple.

“This pile is for Kayla—” Jess dropped them onto her lap next to the puppy, and Kayla stared at the prettily wrapped gifts.

“What are these?”

“Your presents.” Jess passed two to Elizabeth and one to Jackson, while Kayla sat there, clutching parcels, her feelings raw and exposed.

They’d given her presents.

“You shouldn’t have bought me anything—”

“You gave up your Christmas to be here with us.” Elizabeth handed around coffee. “That makes you one of the family.”

She wasn’t one of the family. She couldn’t be.
Didn’t want to be.

“Kayla?” Jackson’s voice was soft, and she realized she had to get this over with fast, before she made a fool of herself.

It was just a few presents. She’d open them, make enthusiastic noises and then go back to her cabin and pack. She’d bury herself in work, and all these feelings would go.

“This is exciting!” Smiling, she opened the heavy one first and pulled out an ax. Her smile wobbled as she glanced at Walter.

“I guess you can’t take it on the plane, so you’ll have to leave it here,” he said gruffly, “and use it when you come and visit.”

There was no way she was ever going to be able to come back here.

No way.

“Thanks, Walter. I—” She found it difficult to speak, so instead she went through the presents one by one and managed to smile and say the right things, even though it was the hardest thing she’d ever done. Alice had given her a pretty red scarf, Jess a box of chocolates, Tyler a warm pair of ski socks and Élise a cookery book for beginners.

And then Elizabeth pushed a small box into her hand.

“This is from all of us.” She reached down to hug Kayla. “You’ve worked so hard and we want you to remember us. Merry Christmas, sweetheart. Come back soon.”

Choking back her wayward emotions, Kayla undid the bow and unwrapped the tiny silver box. There inside, nestling against dark velvet was a silver snowflake on a chain. “That’s so beautiful.” It winked and shone like the surface of the snow in sunlight.

“Wear it sometimes so you don’t forget us when you’re back in New York.”

Forget them?

How could she forget them? This was the first time in her life she’d felt like part of something. The first time in her life she hadn’t felt as if she were on the outside looking in.

The first time she’d allowed herself to care.

She lifted the necklace out of its box and fastened it around her neck.

“It looks pretty.” Alice put her knitting down. “When will you be back, Kayla?”

Elizabeth started picking up crumpled, torn wrapping paper. “Not for a while, I expect. But I’m sure she’ll stay in touch, and Jackson will tell us how she’s getting on.”

“How can she help us from New York? She’s put all those lovely, exciting ideas together, and now she’s leaving?”

Kayla saw Jackson looking at her and knew he was waiting for her to tell them about her promotion. But she couldn’t. The words stuck in her throat. It wasn’t relevant to them. It was a million miles away from life here.

Kayla heard Jackson swear under his breath, but it was Walter who spoke, his voice rough.

“She came here to give us advice and she’s done that. Now leave the girl alone.”

“But she fell in love with Snow Crystal,” Alice said in a stubborn voice. “She told us that.”

“Alice, her job is in New York.”

“Jackson could give her a job. He’s in charge now. He could fix this.”

Walter took her hand. “She’s going to help us.”

“For once in your life will you think about something other than this place.” Alice glared at him fiercely, the look giving clues as to why she hadn’t been crushed by Walter in the sixty years they’d been together. “People matter more than places.”

“I know that. But Kayla has a life in New York.”

Kayla fingered her necklace. She had an apartment and a job. That was her life in New York.

“That’s enough.” Taking charge, Jackson stood up. “You’ve given her your gifts. Now it’s my turn. Put your coat on, Kayla.”

Reeling from emotions she couldn’t begin to decipher, Kayla stood up. “You already gave me presents—”

“Those were from Santa. I still have to give you mine—” Jackson picked up the scarf Alice had given her and wrapped it around her neck. “Where’s your coat?”

“In the kitchen.”

“I brought it through for you—” Elizabeth handed it over, eyes shining, a hopeful smile on her face as she looked at her son. “Oh, Jackson—”

Kayla wondered why Elizabeth was suddenly so cheerful. Then she heard the sound of bells, looked out of the window and saw the horse-drawn sleigh. Jess made a happy sound and ran to the window.

“It’s Bessie! Oh, wow. Can I go for a ride through the forest?”

“No.” Tyler tugged her away from the window, his gaze fixed on his brother. “You can have a turn later.”

Jess looked disappointed. “Who is it for then?”

“Kayla.” Jackson took her hand. “This is my gift to you. Your last Snow Crystal experience. Merry Christmas.”

* * *

H
E
COULD
SEE
them watching, noses pressed to the window as he and Kayla climbed into the sleigh. He was torn between frustration, amusement and sympathy.

Could his family be any less subtle?

Even Tyler was still standing by the window, beer in hand as he watched.

Jackson hoped Kayla didn’t notice them or she’d probably go straight to the airport and sleep in the departure lounge overnight rather than hang around a moment longer.

“Merry Christmas.” Pete grinned at them both as he used the reins and his voice to persuade Bessie to move.

“We’ve had her since she was a foal. Gramps used to do the sleigh rides at one time but now it makes his arthritis worse.” Jackson pulled the blanket over Kayla. “You’ll need this. It can get cold.”

“Thanks. This is fun.” But she didn’t look like someone who was having fun. She looked wan. Pale. Incredibly tired.

He felt a stab of concern. “Did Alice upset you?”

“No, of course not. She’s lovely. Your whole family is lovely.” There was a choke in her voice that caught his attention and gave him hope.

“Why didn’t you tell them about your promotion? You have a right to celebrate.”

But she didn’t look as if she was celebrating.

She stared ahead through the trees. “It didn’t seem like the right time.”

He wasn’t sure this was the right time for what he had planned, either, but it was the only time he had so he intended to use it.

He sat, restless and impatient as the sleigh wound along the groomed forest trail, the jangle of bells and the soft thud of hooves disturbing the silence.

“Thank you.” She turned to him, her smile strained. “It’s been a happy Christmas Day. I was dreading it, but it’s been the best ever.”

He thought about what he carried in his pocket.

He was either about to ruin that day or make it perfect.

“It hasn’t finished yet.” They’d reached the part of the trail that led to the frozen waterfall and Pete pulled in and winked at Jackson.

There were times when he wished he lived in a place where a man could have a few secrets, and this was one of those times.

Jackson sprang down from the sleigh and held out his hand to her. “Come with me.”

“Where are we going?”

“To the same place we came on the first day.” They took a different path, staying on a groomed track until they reached the waterfall.

“I can’t believe I’ve been here a week. I can’t believe I’ll be back in New York tomorrow.”

He took her hand and noticed that she didn’t try to pull it away. “How do you feel about that?”

“Excited, of course.” Her smile was a little too bright. “Why?”

“Because I want you to stay.” He hadn’t meant to say it so abruptly. He should have said something fluent and romantic, something that would make her head spin and her heart melt. Instead of which, he’d shocked her. “I really want you to stay.”

Instead of looking starry-eyed, she looked stunned. “Stay?”

“Yes. Damn it, Kayla—” he grabbed her jacket and hauled her against him “—I love you.”

She stared at him, her breathing shallow. “You’re crazy.”

“Maybe I am. Or maybe I’m just good at knowing what I want. I think I fell in love with you the moment you landed on your back in the snow and laughed. Or maybe it was when you didn’t walk out on that first night, even though my family had been rude to you and you were desperate to get away from us. I know I loved you when I kissed you next to this waterfall. I definitely loved you when we spent the night together, and I think—” he paused, knowing he was taking a risk “—I think you love me, too.”

Silence stretched from seconds to almost a full minute.

Then she shook her head.

“No.” She planted her palm in the center of his chest, warding him off. “Damn it, no, Jackson. Don’t do this—”

“Don’t do what? Tell the truth about how I feel?”

“You can’t possibly feel that way. We’ve only known each other for a week. You can’t know that.”

“I know.”

“No—” Panic flickered in her eyes. “You’re a risk taker. That’s what you do. You leap off cliffs without knowing if you can land safely—”

“I’m still standing here, so that has to prove something about my judgment. I’ve never been afraid to leap, Kayla, but that’s probably because there’s always been a bunch of people cheering me on. I know you haven’t had that. And I know I’m asking a lot, but I want you to stay, Kayla. Stay and be with me. Don’t go.”

She gave a choked laugh. “Let me get this straight—you’re asking me to give up my job, a job I’ve worked almost a decade to get, a job most people would kill for, to come and live with a man I met a week ago?”

“I’m asking you to think about what you truly want. What truly makes you happy.”

“My job makes me happy.”

“Your job makes you feel safe. You feel in control and it’s important for you to feel in control.” He kept his voice gentle because he wasn’t sure she was ready to hear what he was saying. “You shut people out, because if they’re not in your life then they can’t hurt you. But that isn’t what happiness is, Kayla. Happiness isn’t simply avoiding unhappiness. You can spend your life dodging boulders or you can jump on top of one and take a look at the view. See what you’re missing.”

“Jackson—”

“You came to Snow Crystal because you were miserable. You were lonely. Is that really what you’re choosing to go back to?”

“You’re asking me to give up work—”

“No, I’m asking you to do a different job and do it here, with me. And maybe that doesn’t seem like much of an offer compared to being vice president—” he wondered who thought up those ridiculous damn titles that city marketing companies always used to seduce their staff “—but maybe, there is more to work than a title, a salary and a fancy corner office in a big city. You care about this place—I know you do. I don’t believe this is just another account to you.”

“I think—”

“I don’t want to know what you think because you have the ability to think yourself out of anything.” He pulled her against him, his mouth close to hers, “I want to know what you
feel.
Tell me what you feel.”

“Right now?” Her voice rose. “Sick.” She was shutting him down. Blocking him out.

“What has the last week meant to you, Kayla?”

“Damn it, Jackson, I warned you I don’t do relationships. You knew—”

“Yeah, you warned me—I broke the rules—” He knew he was pushing her, but he didn’t have the luxury of time and he figured he didn’t have anything to lose that wasn’t already lost. “But are you really telling me it meant nothing? You didn’t check your emails, Kayla. You’ve been laughing and sleeping late. When did you last look in the mirror? Your hair is curling and you have color in your cheeks. You look healthy! Maybe it’s time to take another look at those rules of yours. Maybe it’s time to take a look at a different sort of life.”

“You can’t— I don’t—” she breathed. “It isn’t possible.”

“I know my own mind, Kayla. And you know yours. The question is, will you believe what it’s telling you?”

“I’ve worked hard for what I have.”

“And what do you have, Kayla? A corner office? A stomach ulcer? A salary, but no one to spend it on except yourself? Is that really what matters to you?”