Authors: Elizabeth Jane Howard
For the last two years while I have been writing this, I have been getting noticeably older. Getting old is a classic slipstream situation. It’s rather like that game Grandmother’s
Footsteps. I stand at the end of a lawn with my back to a row of the trappings of old age whose object is to reach me before I turn round and send them back to their row. One or two of these have
caught me out during the last five years: I have neither the health nor the energy that once I had. In these respects I am not as young as I feel. Arthritis is dispiriting because it’s both
painful and incurable, and it takes time to become reconciled to it. I can’t – like my friend Penelope Lively – garden any more and that is for both of us a privation.
But on the plus side, I am able to go on writing, I can sew and cook and have friends to stay and above all read. I continue to go to my women’s group; I can still learn. One of the good
things about living longer is that we have more time to learn
how
to be old. It’s clear to me now that inside the conspiracy of silence about age – because of the negative
aspects of the condition – there is the possibility of art: that is to say that it can be made into something worth trying to do well, a challenge, an adventure. I don’t want to live
with any sort of retirement, with nostalgia and regret wrapped round me like a wet blanket. I want to live enquiringly, with curiosity and interest for the rest of my life.
When I do look back, as indeed I’ve had to do to write this book, the household accounts don’t seem so bad. I’ve made a good many mistakes, some rather expensive, but I think
I’ve more or less
paid for them. I’ve slowly learned some significant things – perhaps most of all the virtue, the extreme
importance
of truth, which,
it seems to me now, should be continually searched for and treasured when any piece of it is found. This book has been in search of some of that.
Abbado, Claudio
ref 1
Ackroyd, Peter
ref 1
Adams, Elizabeth
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
Addams, Dawn
ref 1
Addinsell, Richard (Dick)
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
After Julius
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
Aickman, Ray: work
ref 1
; home
ref 1
; appearance
ref 1
; relationship with husband
ref
1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
,
ref 7
; literary
agency
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; relationship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; friendships
ref 1
; lover
ref 1
; end of marriage
ref 1
; takes vows
ref 1
Aickman, Robert: meets EJH
ref 1
; appearance
ref 1
; background,
ref 1
; home
ref 1
;
literary agency
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
; writing
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; relationship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
,
ref 7
,
ref 8
; EJH’s New York trip
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; IWA
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; end of relationship with EJH
ref 1
; end of marriage
ref 1
Alexandra, Princess
ref 1
Alice, Duchess of Gloucester
ref 1
Allison, John: EJH’s health
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; home
ref 1
; Maharishi trip
ref 1
; Kingsley Amis’s health
ref 1
Amis, Hilly: at Cheltenham Festival
ref 1
; marriage
ref 1
; divorce proceedings
ref 1
,
ref
2
; finances
ref 1
; relationship with children
ref 1
,
ref 2
; care of Kingsley
ref 1
,
ref 2
Amis, Isabel
ref 1
Amis, Kingsley: at Cheltenham Festival
ref 1
,
ref 2
; first meeting with EJH
ref 1
; marriage
ref 1
; background
ref 1
; affair with EJH
ref 1
; in Majorca
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; relationship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
,
ref 7
,
ref 8
,
ref 9
,
ref 10
,
ref 11
,
ref 12
,
ref 13
; imitations and enactments
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref
3
; divorce proceedings
ref 1
,
ref 2
; Spanish holiday
ref 1
; writing
ref 1
,
ref
2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
;
Daily Express
story
ref 1
;
relationship with children
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; on Waugh
ref 1
; drinking
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
; in Keats Grove
ref 1
; in Maida Vale
ref 1
,
ref 2
; travelling with
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; Greek
holidays
ref 1
; wedding to EJH,
ref 1
; in France
ref 1
; in Jamaica
ref 1
; in Nashville
ref 1
; in Mexico
ref 1
; finances
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; life
at Lemmons
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
; relationship with mother-in-law
ref 1
,
ref 2
; food
ref 1
,
ref 2
; political views
ref 1
,
ref
2
; presents
ref 1
; Elizabeth Taylor’s death
ref 1
; Durham friendship
ref 1
; sex therapy
ref
1
,
ref 2
; Victor Stiebel’s death
ref 1
; moving from Lemmons
ref 1
; life at Gardnor House
ref
1
,
ref 2
; fear of being alone
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; attitude to women
ref 1
;
EJH’s gall-bladder operation
ref 1
,
ref 2
; broken arm
ref 1
; Abbado encounter
ref 1
; EJH leaves
ref 1
; divorce proceedings
ref 1
,
ref 2
; Hilly’s care of
ref 1
; death
ref
1
; biography
ref 1
Amis, Martin: reaction to parents’ break-up
ref 1
; education
ref 1
,
ref 2
; life with father and EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
; letters
ref 1
; rewiring,
ref 1
;
Experience
ref 1
; advice to EJH
ref 1
; father’s death and funeral
ref 1
Amis, Philip
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
Ampthill, Christabel, Lady
ref 1
,
ref 2
Andrews, Stephen
ref 1
Armstrong, Louis
ref 1
Armstrong, Moira
ref 1
Arnim, Bettina von
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
Arts Council
ref 1
Asquith, Daniel
ref 1
Asquith, Kip
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
Attachment, The
ref 1
Ayrton, Elisabeth
ref 1
Ayrton, Michael
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
Baddeley, Hermione
ref 1
Baird, Josie
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
Baird, Julia
ref 1
Baird, Michael (Bumbo)
ref 1
Balcon, Jill: BBC work
ref 1
; appearance
ref 1
; relationship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
,
ref 7
; father
ref 1
;
relationship with Cecil Day-Lewis
ref 1
,
ref 2
; daughter’s birth
ref 1
; husband’s illness and death
ref 1
Balcon, Michael
ref 1
Balfour, Freddie and Gertrude
ref 1
,
ref 2
Balfour, Nemone
ref 1
Balfour, Yolande
ref 1
Barbara (at Instow)
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
Bardot, Brigitte
ref 1
Barlow, William
ref 1
Bates, Richard
ref 1
Bayley, John
ref 1
BBC: wartime continuity
ref 1
,
ref 2
;
Bookstand
ref 1
; Waugh interview
ref 1
;
Desert Island Discs
ref 1
; Cazalet Chronicles
ref 1
Beacon, the
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref
6
,
ref 7
Beaton, Cecil
ref 1
Beautiful Visit, The
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref
5
Beckett, Martyn and Pinky
ref 1
,
ref 2
Beddard, Ursula: affair with EJH’s father
ref 1
; relationship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; relationship with Colin
ref 1
; marriage
ref 1
; Zunz friendship
ref 1
,
ref 2
; in Kent
ref 1
; husband’s death
ref 1
Beddington, Carol: friendship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
; education
ref 1
,
ref 2
; family background
ref 1
; appearance
ref 1
; acting
ref 1
,
ref
2
,
ref 3
; theatre-going
ref 1
; religion
ref 1
; war work
ref 1
Bedford, Sybille
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
Bedford Gardens, Kensington
ref 1
,
ref 2
Beethoven, Ludwig van
ref 1
Behrens, Felicity
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
Behrens, Michael: meeting with EJH
ref 1
; affair with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
,
ref 7
,
ref 8
; cousin Josie
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; finances
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; Roy friendship
ref 1
,
ref 2
; appearance
ref 1
; interests
ref 1
; relationship with Paul Bowman
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; EJH’s affair with Paul
ref 1
; EJH’s jewellery
ref 1
; end of affair with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
; St Maxime holiday
ref
1
Benckendorf, Helen
ref 1
Benson, Guy
ref 1
Benson, Violet
ref 1
Berkeley, Rob, Lord
ref 1
Bernard, Nicolette
ref 1
Bernhardt, Sarah
ref 1
Betjeman, John
ref 1
Birdsall, Jesse
ref 1
Black, George
ref 1
Blandford Street: EJH moves to
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; re-decoration
ref 1
,
ref 2
; Nicola nearby
ref 1
; life at
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
,
ref 5
,
ref 6
; move from
ref 1
Blomfield Road: EJH moves to
ref 1
,
ref 2
; re-decoration
ref 1
; life at
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; Colin at
ref 1
; sale of
ref 1
,
ref 2
; last night at
ref 1
Blunt, Wilfrid Scawen
ref 1
Bonham-Carter, Helena
ref 1
Bookstand
ref 1
Bouvier, Lee
ref 1
Bratby, Michael
ref 1
Bream, Julian
ref 1
Bridge House
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
Brooke, Rupert
ref 1
Bruce, Brenda
ref 1
Bruce, David
ref 1
Bruce, Evangeline
ref 1
Burnham, Jonathan
ref 1
Burns, Bobby
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
,
ref 4
Burstall, Christopher
ref 1
Buss, Nanny: care of Nicola
ref 1
,
ref 2
; relationship with EJH
ref 1
,
ref 2
,
ref 3
; at Edwardes Square
ref 1
,
ref 2
; move from Edwardes Square
ref 1
; with Bairds
ref
1
; with Sutherlands
ref 1
Cameron, Peter
ref 1
Camus, Albert
ref 1
Canfield, Cass
ref 1
Canfield, Michael
ref 1
Cape, Jonathan: biography ix; at Gower Street
ref 1
; lunch with
ref 1
; parties
ref 1
,
ref
2
; John Llewellyn Rhys Prize
ref 1
; view of paperbacks
ref 1
,
ref 2