Daniel looked into my eyes and I could feel my heart flutter a bit. It wasn’t a feeling I was used to. It wasn’t the panty-wetting kind of lust I felt with guys like Eddie (or my ex-fiancé); it was a softer but much deeper feeling, like we were connecting mentally and emotionally, not just physically.
“So, what do you like to do for fun?” Daniel asked.
It had been so long since I remembered having fun. I was always so driven, with school and then with trying to establish my career. It was one of the excuses Jeff used when I found out he had cheated on me. I could still hear his cruel words burned in my memory banks.
“You don’t know how to have fun like your sister does.”
“I’m sorry,” Daniel said. “I didn’t mean to upset you.
I tried to smile but the act felt hollow. I heaved a sigh. If I saw myself having any kind of relationship with Daniel, I would have to tell him the truth about what brought me to Florida. “It’s not you, Daniel,” I said. “When I lived in Illinois, I was engaged for several years to Jeff, who was doing his residency to be a surgeon. I thought things were great between us even though we were both busy trying to establish our careers. I had just finished graduate school and I was working long hours as a new therapist. Jeff told me that I wasn’t any fun. So he found his fun with another woman. Unfortunately, the other woman he found so exciting was my sister.”
I could see Daniel’s jaw literally drop. “Oh, my God,” he said. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not only did I lose my fiancé, I lost my relationship with my only sibling.”
“That’s the kind of thing you think only happens in movies,” he said.
“Or reality television,” I added.
Daniel had so much warmth in his eyes when he looked at me. “I realize a guy has to have brains to be a surgeon but he’s obviously stupid to do something like that to you.”
“Thanks,” I said. “We’d better get back to work.”
As we stood up, Daniel touched my elbow. Even though he was barely making contact with me, I could still feel the heat from his hand on my arm and it warned the rest of my body.
“Wait,” he said softly. “The reason I asked about what you like to do for fun is because I wanted to know if you’d like to do something with me this weekend.”
It had only been a few months since I broke off my engagement and I wasn’t sure I was ready to date but I also didn’t have the heart to say no to Daniel, especially when I looked into his eyes and saw so much hope laced with apprehension.
“I’d love to,” I said.
He exhaled. “Great. Maybe we can meet for dinner on Saturday. I know a wonderful Mexican place on the beach. We can watch the sun set. How does that sound?”
“Sounds perfect.”
“If you give me your cell number, I can text you the address. It’s easy to find.”
I reached into my purse and grabbed my cell. “What’s your number?” I asked.
He gave me his number and I typed it into my phone. I typed a short text and hit the send button. “Now you have my number.”
I could hear his cell phone in his pocket bling. He removed it and looked at the text. He grinned then looked up at me. “I can’t wait for Saturday either,” he said.
***
B
y the time I got home, I was even more exhausted than the day before. The twins spent the afternoon in my office ‘training me’ in the computer filing system, which should have taken about ten minutes, but took three hours because of all of the banter between the two and the non-stop gossip they just had to tell me about everyone who worked there.
My thoughts returned to Daniel and how much I was growing to like him. He seemed so sincere and kind, a guy you’d call a real sweetheart. I felt warm and cozy just thinking about him. My mind didn’t immediately go to sex when I thought about him, which was a change. The guys I had dated in the past seemed to all have that effect on me. And none of those relationships had turned out so well. Obviously, or I’d still be with them. Daniel made me think about cuddling on the couch watching a movie, or walking hand-in-hand on the beach, instead of just jumping into bed with him.
I got into my sweat pants and a tee shirt and relaxed on the couch with the book I had been dying to read,
Fight Club
. I adored the movie and couldn’t wait to read the source material. I’m a bit obsessed with violent books and films. I think I find violent entertainment so appealing because of my psychology background. As a therapist, I see a lot of violent people and hear a lot of stories of violence. Perhaps in some ways, I was trying to figure out what’s behind it all. Or maybe I just enjoy watching, or reading about, a good fight.
I could feel myself starting to fall asleep in my book when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my watch. It was nearly nine o’clock.
The knocking continued until I opened the door and Eddie waltzed in.
“Hey, neighbor,” he said. “Sorry, I’m late.”
“It’s nine at night,” I moaned. “What are you doing here?”
He flopped on the couch. “Just wanted to see what you were up to.”
“I’m getting ready to go to bed,” I said and immediately regretted it.
Eddie raised an eyebrow. “Is that an invitation? I didn’t think you were that easy.”
I put my hands on my hips. “That was not an invitation.”
“Too bad.
As much as I dig that sexy little tee shirt you’ve got on, I’d love to see it off.”
I could feel my face turning red and the heat spreading throughout my body. How could a man simultaneously disgust and excite me?
“If you sit down and talk to me for five minutes, I promise I’ll leave.”
“Fine,” I said as I sat down on the other side of the couch. I stared at Eddie and waited for him to speak.
“So, do you know much about kite surfing?” he asked.
I shook my head.
“Do you want to see how it’s done?”
“Not particularly,” I said.
I caught a glimmer of something in Eddie’s eyes. A challenge, perhaps?
“How about a walk on the beach then?”
“It’s awfully dark out,” I quipped.
He grinned. “I meant this weekend.
Maybe Saturday at dusk. We can watch the sunset. It’s romantic.” He emphasized the word romantic as if he was making fun of it.
“I already have plans for Saturday,” I said matter-of-factly.
Eddie’s cool demeanor slipped for an instant but was back just as quickly. “You work fast,” he said. “You’ve haven’t even lived here a week yet. I thought it would take at least few weeks for all the sharks to come out of the water.”
“I certainly wouldn’t call my date a shark,” I said.
Eddie rolled his eyes. “All guys are sharks. Some are just better at hiding it.”
“Whatever. You don’t even know the guy.”
“But I am a guy and I know how guys are.”
I glared at Eddie. “No, you know how you are. Not all guys are like you.”
Eddie shrugged. “Believe what you want. At least I’m honest about what I want.”
“And what is that exactly?” I challenged.
Eddie slid over to me so our bodies were almost touching. He looked at me with such desire I could barely breathe. “You and I both know what I want, and I think you want it, too.”
I nearly leapt from the couch to stop myself from doing something really stupid. All it would have taken was for me to move one inch toward Eddie and we would have been making out on my couch and probably in my bed shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, when I
jumped from the couch, my knees were weak and I nearly fell over. When I righted myself, I turned to Eddie and glared at him. “You have no idea what I want.”
Eddie got up from the couch and stood right next to me. He got close enough to whisper in my ear. Feeling his breath on my neck sent a wave of shivers down my body that were so intense, I nearly collapsed. The sexual tension between the two of us filled the small room.
“You think you know me, Alexandria,” he said softly in my ear. “But you don’t. One of the things you don’t know about me is that I love playing games. I thrive on it. It’s an aphrodisiac. And this game you’re playing with me is the ultimate turn on.”
And with that, he strolled out the door.
Shit. I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to roll right into bed with Eddie. It would be so easy. The sex would probably be mind-blowing. And the aftermath would most likely be messy. Especially when I had to live next door to the guy for at least a year, which was the duration of my lease.
Then there was Daniel. He was definitely the type of guy who wanted a relationship. But was I ready for that? Was I ready to fall in love again?
I moved to Florida to get away from the complexities and drama of a romantic relationship gone terribly wrong. Yet, here I was in Florida not even a week, and I found myself in the midst of not one but two possible romantic entanglements. What was wrong with me?
FOUR
Gale Force
T
he next day, work was a bit of a whirlwind, starting with the weekly staff meeting in the morning. Luckily, the meeting only included clinical staff in outpatient services so I wasn’t completely overwhelmed. Tom was there, as was Brad, the twins, Daniel and another guy, who I assumed was the other intake counselor. He had a dark complexion and nearly perfect features. Although he was seated, he looked muscular and fit.
Tom provided the group with a little of my background. The twins smiled, Brad scowled, and the other guy stared at me with a neutral expression. I hesitated looking at Daniel. I didn’t realize how awkward it would be to have a romantic interest in a guy I would also have to have a professional relationship with.
Fuck it.
I glanced over at Daniel, who was seated directly across from me, and he gave me a shy smile. I could see that his eyes were twinkling as he gazed into mine. I swallowed hard and tried to keep my rapid
heartbeating at bay.
Tom opened up the meeting to the other participants and asked if anyone had a case he or she needed to discuss. Both of the twins raised their hands simultaneously. It made me wonder if they worked together with clients or if they had two different cases they wanted to talk about.
Tom gestured toward the twins. “What have you got?”
“It’s a family we’re seeing,” Serenity said.
“A mother, step-father and two teenage boys,” Trinity interjected.
“Who happen to be twins,” Serenity added.
“Isn’t that a conflict of interest?” Brad said in a tone I found condescending. “Or maybe the two of you consider that an area of expertise.”
Tom frowned at Brad. “Do you have a question about the actual case?”
Brad gave Tom a sly grin and asked, “How old are the boys?”
“I’m sure Serenity and Trinity were getting to that,” Tom replied.
Brad folded his arms against his chest in a defensive gesture and glared at everyone for the rest of the meeting.
Serenity and Trinity took the remainder of the hour explaining the details of the case and asking for alternative perspectives as well as treatment options.
I was nervous about contributing at my first meeting, so I kept silent, but the intake counselor, who I hadn’t yet formally met, added a unique perspective. When he spoke, I thought I detected a slight accent but I couldn’t quite place it. It made me think he was Hispanic though.
I tried to avoid direct eye contact with Daniel but it was difficult. He was like a magnet I was constantly being drawn to. And I couldn’t help but notice that every time I glanced over at him, he was looking at me, his beautiful blue eyes dancing. I had heard the term ‘undressing someone with your eyes’ before, but this was the first time I had actually experienced it. I just hoped no one else noticed the way Daniel was looking at me.
I was wrong.
As soon as the meeting was over, the twins pulled me into the ladies room.
“Oh, my Goddess,” Serenity said. “What is going on with you and Daniel?”
“The eye flirting between the two of you was intense,” Trinity added.
I gulped. I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to reveal to the twins. I had already ascertained they were the organization’s gossip whores.
“We’ve been having lunch,” I said matter-of-factly.
They both gave me the same incredulous look at the same moment. I had the distinct feeling I was being double teamed.
“It’s also possible we have a date Saturday night,” I said.
They both went wide-eyed.
“Daniel has worked here for years and we’ve never heard about him dating anyone,” Serenity said.
“He’s quiet, though,” Trinity added. “And mainly keeps to himself.”
“He is attractive,” Serenity said.
“If you like rugged guys.”
I shrugged. I wasn’t sure what I liked anymore.
Serenity continued, “Do you think it’s a good idea to get involved with someone at work?”
“What if it doesn’t work out and the two of you still have to see each other every day at the office?” Trinity added.
“Have you heard the term cart before the horse?” I asked. “We’re really just friends and we haven’t even gone out yet.”
Trinity put her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, but friends do not look at each other the way Daniel was looking at you. There was definitely some eye fucking going on there.”
I tried to stifle a gasp. I was definitely in trouble.
Trinity placed a hand on my shoulder. “Just be careful, okay?”
I nodded.
“Yeah,” Serenity added. “You’re the first counselor they’ve ever hired who we’ve actually liked. If you leave, it will just be the two of us with Brad again. Please don’t go.”
I sighed. “I’m not planning on going anywhere and I definitely don’t want to jeopardize my career for a guy.”
That seemed to appease the twins but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to convince myself.
Is it bad that as I stared at a stack of cases I was assigned to review, the only thing I could think about was going to lunch with Daniel?
I had gotten about half way through the stack when my cell phone beeped. It was a text from Daniel:
Something came up. Won’t be able to meet for lunch today. Sorry. How about tomorrow?
I texted back:
Tomorrow’s okay.
Why did I feel like crying? Lunch was an insignificant thing in the grand scheme of all things, but at that moment, it felt like everything.
I went back to my stack of case files and dug in.
At noon, I went down to the cafeteria and grabbed one of the box lunches. It was another beautiful day in South Florida, so I decided to sit outside by the pond. I closed my eyes for a moment and listened to the sound of the small waterfall. It was peaceful.
A moment of serenity until I heard a deep voice say my name.
I opened my eyes and the intake counselor from the staff meeting, whose name I didn’t know yet, was standing above me.
“I haven’t had a chance to introduce myself,” he said. “I’m Ricky Calvo.”
He put a hand out and I shook it. I noticed he had the same rough and callused hands as Daniel and Eddie.
Weird. I wondered if it was some kind of Florida thing I wasn’t aware of.
“Do you mind if I join you?” he asked.
I noticed he had a sack lunch he must have brought with him.
“Sure,” I responded.
He sat on the other side of the bench. “I’m glad you joined the team,” he said. “I have a growing stack of clients, who need to be seen. Brad is—well—particular about the clients he’ll see and the twins are—well—the twins.”
Our eyes met and he gave me a slight smile. “Let’s just say I prefer to hand the
twins family cases they can work on together.”
Ricky exuded confidence and he was definitely smart. I could tell he had his act together by the comments he made in the staff meeting.
“I’m glad you have so much faith in my abilities.”
He smiled. “Let’s just say I’m a good judge of character.”
We both took bites of our sandwiches. I had to admit, I found Ricky a bit intimidating. Even though I was the one with the Master’s degree, he seemed much sharper than me.
“So, where are you from?” I asked, trying to make conversation.
His head tilted slightly as if he was trying to assess why I asked the question.
“You have a slight accent,” I added.
He gave me a sexy grin. “Very perceptive.” The guy was hot and he knew it.
“I am a therapist,” I joked.
“I guess all of those accent reduction classes didn’t do the trick.”
“I did say slight,” I reminded him.
“I grew up in New York but I was born in Puerto Rico.”
“Do you get back there much?”
“Which place?”
“Either—both?”
He shook his head. “Too many bad memories. Florida is my home now.”
I sensed there was a lot to the bad memories but I didn’t want to pry.
“And where are you from?” he asked, clearly trying to change the subject.
“Illinois,” I replied.
He raised an eyebrow. “A Midwest girl, huh?”
I nodded. It looked as though he wanted to say more but he stopped himself. He just gave me a sly smile. Then something caught my eye in the distance, over by the school. Although I couldn’t see that well that far away, I had the feeling it was Daniel. He was talking with another guy, who had his back to me.
“What are you looking at?” Ricky asked and I gave him my attention again.
I shook my head.
“Nothing.”
I could tell Ricky didn’t believe me, but he didn’t push any further.
“Can I stop by your office this afternoon and hand you a few cases? Are you ready to see clients?”
I nodded. “Tom gave me the green light.”
Ricky smiled. “Great.”
When I looked back over to where Daniel had been, I noticed he was walking right toward us. Ricky had his back to him but he could see my face.
There was no reason for me to panic but I did. There was absolutely nothing going on between Ricky and me, but for some reason, I didn’t want Daniel to see the two of us sitting together. Unfortunately, it was inevitable.
I could see the look on Daniel’s face change as he registered the fact that I was seated on the bench having lunch with Ricky. Even though it wasn’t planned and he had just sat down for a friendly chat, I felt guilty, like I was doing something wrong.
Especially when I saw the look of pain on Daniel’s face and the sadness in his eyes when he passed by the two of us. He didn’t stop or say anything, he just continued walking right by us.
When I looked at Ricky, he was taking a sip of orange juice. He swallowed and said, “What’s wrong?”
I didn’t respond. I just looked down at my lunch. I could feel a few tears forming in the corners of my eyes.
“Was that Danny?” he asked.
When I looked back at Ricky, I could see he was trying to figure out who had just passed by. I found it odd that he called Daniel ‘Danny.’ Everyone else called him Daniel.
I could feel a teardrop escape down my face. I tried to discretely brush it away, which wasn’t easy with Ricky staring at me, almost examining me. I could see his wheels spinning. I knew in a few seconds he would realize something was going on between Daniel and me. Then a look of understanding spread over his face. I wasn’t sure if he was going to say something or keep it to himself.
When he started to say something, I realized he wasn’t sure either. Then he stopped and just looked at me. “Danny’s a good guy,” he said finally. “I’d hate to see him get hurt.”
Without another word, he rose and walked away.
***
I
sat in my office staring at the case files. At least the pile was getting smaller. I debated the sanity of trying to read cases when all I could think about was the look on Daniel’s face when he saw me with Ricky.
I didn’t even know Ricky. He had just sat down to talk to me. It was such an innocent thing, yet it wasn’t. There was obviously something more between Daniel and Ricky then just me having lunch with him. They had to have some history together. Why else would he call him Danny?
I grabbed a file from the pile and opened it. After I read the same opening paragraph five times and it still didn’t make sense, I decided it was time to talk to Daniel.
I hadn’t yet been to his office but I had an idea of where the intake area was, so I did a little searching until I saw the door with him name on it. It was half open or half closed, depending on your point of view. It made me wonder if it was symbolic of how he was feeling about me. Yes, as a therapist, I had a tendency to read too much into everything.
I knocked lightly on the door and when Daniel looked up he seemed surprised to see me. Not pleasantly surprised, as I had hoped, but he didn’t look unpleasantly surprised either. He just looked confused.
“I think we need to talk,” I said as I entered his office and closed the door behind me.
He nodded and I took a seat.
“I just want you to know that I was eating lunch by myself when Ricky introduced himself and asked if he could join me. We were just talking.”
He nodded again but didn’t say anything. I noticed he had put up a bit of a wall between us. It felt cold and uncomfortable.
“I’m not interested in Ricky, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
His look was sullen. “Ricky has a way with women.”
“He’s not really my type,” I said. “And I’m interested in someone else.”
I looked into his eyes and the intensity between us started to melt the ice that had formed. He started to bite his bottom lip, a habit I found extremely attractive. Anything that brought my attention to his lips made me think about kissing him.
“And just who is the lucky guy you’re interested in?” he asked, knowing full well it was him.