“It’s September,” Sadie declared.
He ground his palms into his eyes and let out a breath. “Look, Sadie, I know. I know how all this sounds, okay? That’s why I waited so long. I tried to forget it, tried to convince myself it was nothing, tried to come up with a rational explanation. But I can’t let it go until I know for sure I’m innocent. If I’ve done something, even something while I was asleep, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Let’s take it a step at a time. Hold on to the conviction that it’s probably nothing,” Sadie said. The guy was in misery, and she felt for him. Not bad enough to return his deposit, but still bad.
He looked up from behind his palms. “Do you think that? Do you really think it might be nothing?”
“I really do. Murdering someone in your sleep is so fantastical. The physicality required to do something of that level, to say nothing of your motivation, would have to be off the charts. Even under duress, if medicine could be considered duress, I don’t find it feasible.”
A smile tugged the corner of his lips and she found herself staring at it in surprise. Ben had a nice smile. “Those were a lot of big words. My private investigator is smart.”
“You should always hire the best,” she said, feeling a little flustered at the compliment. She was used to men complimenting her looks, not her brains.
“I think I did,” Ben said. Was he flirting with her? Before she could decide, he flagged down a waiter and ordered coffee for both of them.
“Tell me about your time in the army, if you can,” she said.
He smiled again. “I probably made it sound like I thought I was Rambo the other day. Most of the time it was your basic military career—a lot of marching, a lot of order taking, getting shuttled wherever I was sent without putting down roots. The bad parts were such a minor episode, but they bothered me more than the other guys. I don’t know how I made it through the training videos. They showed us a bunch to desensitize us. I put on a brave face, and then I went around the corner and puked my guts out. I should have given up then; I should have realized I wasn’t cut out for what they wanted us to do. But I was young, stupid, and full of bravado. I thought I had a lot to prove to a dad who never thought I was worth very much. I wanted to be a Ranger to make him proud.”
“I’m guessing by your tone that it didn’t work,” Sadie said.
“If it did, he never told me. He took my discharge hard, and then he died a year later. All I ever wanted was for him to be my dad and me to be his kid, but he had all these expectations. I was supposed to be everything he never was—a recipe for disaster from the beginning.”
Their coffee arrived. Sadie sipped so she wouldn’t have to comment. His relationship with his dad reminded her too much of her relationship with her mom. “Ben, please don’t be offended by what I’m about to say, but have you ever considered professional help?”
“I know that every crazy person in the world insists they’re not crazy, but I’m seriously not crazy, Sadie. And I have a signed letter from my psychiatrist that says so. I went to a lot of therapy after my discharge. At first I was really into it, and then when I was spilling my guts one day I realized that there was nothing wrong with me. I just didn’t like killing people. I mean, how messed up is the system if you’re sent to therapy because you have a problem with taking a life? True, my family was messed up, but whose family isn’t? I decided to give up on therapy, stop focusing on myself and my problems, and just live my life. Since then everything was great until the insomnia and the dreams.” He rubbed the spot between his eyes with his thumb. “I’m so sorry. I know how all this sounds because I hear myself saying it and think, ‘Wow, that guy is off his nut.’ But I’m not; I’m just having the world’s worst year coinciding with the world’s worst headache.”
“Would you like some aspirin?” Sadie asked. “I always carry a bottle in my purse.”
“That would be great, Sadie, thank you.”
She rifled through her bag until she located the pills and shook a couple into his hand. He downed them with a long swig of hot coffee.
“What else do you want to know?” he asked. “Please, ask me anything.” He rubbed at the spot between his eyes again, and Sadie felt remorse. She was pelting him with questions when he had a migraine.
“You don’t have to talk anymore if you don’t want to. I hate to talk when I have a headache. It’s the only time I’m ever quiet.”
He gave her another one of those dazzling smiles and she felt a disturbing flutter in her stomach. She should not be attracted to him in any way. Her business was too new for ground rules, but the first should be not getting romantically involved with clients. Shouldn’t it? Yes. She would go home, write it down, and nail it to the wall in order to remember.
“You’re the most self-deprecating gorgeous woman I’ve ever met. I have to tell you that the combination of beauty and humility is lethal. If I weren’t in the middle of a breakdown, I might be tempted to fall in love with you, Sadie Cooper.”
“Yes, well,” Sadie mumbled, flustered again. She was used to being in control with men. Ben was taking her by surprise, and she didn’t like it. And she was confused by her response to him. She sipped her coffee and scanned the interior of the coffee shop as she tried to think of her next move.
“I hate to cut this meeting short, but those pills just aren’t working. I think I’m going to go lie down in a dark room and hope for relief. Thank you for meeting me today, Sadie. I have every confidence in your abilities.” He tossed money on the table, and then he was gone.
Sadie stared at the money, dazed. What had just happened here? Why had he left so abruptly? Was it really because of a headache or, as Sadie suspected, was it Ben’s way of maintaining the upper hand? And if that were the case, why did he feel the need? There had been something between them today. Sadie didn’t know what it was, and she didn’t like it. Had he felt it and been disturbed, too? Should she clarify that she wasn’t interested in him? She was tempted to call and explain. She pulled out her phone and froze. Whether intentional or not, Ben had left her thinking of him and wanting further contact. She had used the same tactic many times on men she wanted to date. She always left during a high point, always left them wanting more, and it always worked. They called. Sadie didn’t know if Ben was playing her or not, but she refused to be sucked in regardless. She tucked her phone back in her purse and finished her coffee. He was her client and nothing more. She wouldn’t be attracted to him, and she wouldn’t be sucked into any games, if that was what he was doing.
She told herself as much even as her hand itched to call him and find closure for their meeting. The abrupt ending had left things feeling unfinished between them, and the unresolved issues made her anxious. She zipped her purse to avoid the temptation of reaching for her phone, and then she finished her coffee and drove home. So intent was she on figuring out her client’s odd behavior that it never once occurred to her that she was being watched and followed.
The house appeared empty when Sadie arrived home, but she had learned that looks could be deceiving. It was huge and sounds didn’t carry well. Abby was serving meals at the senior center, but where was Luke? She tiptoed to the kitchen in case he was home. With the load he was carrying for his doctorate, he needed all the quiet study time he could get.
“Caught you.”
Sadie yelped and dropped an apple on her foot. “What are you doing?”
“Proving to you that I can move quietly,” Luke said.
“Sneak up on me again, and you’re going to have to dodge an apple to the head, Jet Li.” She bent to retrieve the apple, washing it in the sink again. “Why are you dressed?”
“As opposed to my normal state of nudity?”
“As opposed to the
Doctor Who
t-shirt and running pants you wear on the days you don’t leave the house,” she said. They sat at the table.
Luke grinned. “Look who has my routine memorized.”
“Yeah, it was a tough nut to crack, what with all the sleeping, eating, and reading you do.” She took a bite of her apple before he stole it. In retribution, she propped her feet in his lap.
“I subbed today,” he said.
“In school?”
“No, for this airline pilot I know. Didn’t go well.”
“I didn’t know you were still teaching,” she said.
“A guy’s gotta eat.”
“And those
Doctor Who
t-shirts aren’t going to buy themselves. How much do you make subbing?”
“A little under a hundred a day.”
She sat up and dropped her feet from his lap. “You’re kidding me. That’s way more than a day of walking the street in the chicken suit.”
“Maybe you should try a different corner,” he suggested.
“How do you become a sub?”
“You have to have a bachelor’s degree,” he said.
“Done.”
“You have to apply for a sub certificate and have a background check.”
“No problem.”
“You have to like kids.”
“Oh.” That was a sticking point. Sadie had no experience with children. “Do you think I like kids?”
“A better question is could you handle a classroom full of kids, and the answer is yes. You should do it. We’re in need, and it’s way better than getting trash stuffed in your beak all day.”
“You’re the last person who did that to me,” she said.
“I know. I’m going to miss that. What have you been up to today? You’re also wearing clothes, although you should not take my observation as a sign of my approval. I much prefer your yoga pants to that skirt.”
“You’re supposed to pretend not to notice how good I look in my yoga pants,” she said.
“I don’t even think Ian McKellen is that good of an actor,” he said.
“Who?”
“The guy who played Gandalf.” At her continued blank stare he let out a huffy breath and tossed his apple core toward the trash can. The shot missed, and he stood to retrieve it. “Gandalf the wizard on
The Lord of the Rings.
”
“Is that the vampire movie?”
“The vampire movie?” he yelled and then quickly realized she was teasing him. “Yes, he was the gray vampire. Now are you going to tell me where you’ve been all day?”
“I went to the station.”
“What station?”
“The train station, obviously. I met up with the Pevensie children. They wanted me to go to the country with them to escape the blitz. Something about Narnia, I don’t know. It was all very confusing.”
“Okay, you went to the police station. I get it now. Then what? You weren’t there all day, were you?”
“No, after that I had coffee with Ben.”
“Ben who?”
“Ben, Michael Jackson’s pet mouse. What do you mean ‘Ben who?’ How many Bens do we know?”
“Just the crazy one,” he said.
“He’s not crazy; his psychiatrist said so.”
“Sadie, is that supposed to be funny?”
“To normal people, yes. To you, who knows? The point is that he’s having a hard time right now, but that doesn’t mean he’s insane.”
“I don’t believe this,” Luke sputtered as he regained his spot at the table. “You like him. You’re defending him like you two are buddies now. How good was that coffee?”
“I’m not defending him, and we’re not buddies. He’s my client, and I’m trying very hard to see him with professional objectivity. And you constantly labeling him as crazy isn’t helping.”
He leaned forward and rested his hands on her shoulders. “Sade, I am really worried about you here, okay? I don’t think you’re taking your safety seriously enough. You don’t understand how guys think when they look at you.”
She scooted forward and rested her palms on his knees. “Luke, you’re being heartwarmingly sweet, if a tad overbearing. But I’ve got this. Gideon didn’t get a lot of things right, but he did prepare me to take care of myself.”
“I think he prepared you too well. I think you’re overconfident in your abilities to defend yourself.”
“You want to go right now? I’ll take you down, science boy.”
“Why do so many of our conversations end with you threatening to beat me up?” he asked.
“I don’t know, but instinct tells me it’s all your fault. What’s on your agenda tonight?”
“Chemistry.”
“Yeah? You need any help with that? Sorry. Sometimes the flirting runs far ahead of my brain.”
“An occasional slip up is good for my ego. What are you up to tonight?”
“Abby wants to shoot things. Are you sure you don’t want to join in?”
“I don’t want to be anywhere near Abby and a loaded gun. Call Hal.”
“Whoa.”
“I just heard how that sounded. Hal wants to learn to shoot. He would be ecstatic to be part of the action.”
“Does he have to work tonight?” Sadie asked.
“I have no idea. I’ll call him and tell him to pick up a pizza on his way over. The mooch owes us.” They were still touching, his hands on her shoulders, her hands on his knees.
“Hey, Luke?”
“Hmm.”
“An occasional slip up from you might be good for my ego, too.”
His hand slid up to cup her face, his thumb on the column of her neck. “Baby, if your ego gets any bigger, it will need its own zip code.”
“I see what you did there—you uttered a put-down while touching me provocatively. I’m impressed by your level of jerkery. You’re almost a swoon-worthy bad boy.”
“I’ve been practicing saying mean things to the neighbor’s cat while I’m petting it,” Luke said.
“And the nerd is back,” Sadie said. She shrugged away from him and pushed her phone into his hands. “Call Hal. I’m going to go change into some yoga pants. For you, dreamboat.” She touched her fingertip to his nose and left the kitchen.
Luke was still smiling long after the call to Hal ended. One thing was certain: life with Sadie as a housemate was never boring. Between her and Abby, Luke lived in a constant state of worry, exasperation, amusement, or a combination of all three.
Sadie returned to the kitchen a short time later fresh-faced with wet hair. Luke was enamored with her shower gel. He had spent a long time in her shower trying to figure out which one intoxicated him one day when she wasn’t home, but none smelled the same in the bottle as they did on Sadie. He was beginning to think Sadie naturally smelled that good and he had somehow missed it over the years. He was also beginning to think maybe he was the one who was a little bit crazy.
“Did you get ahold of Hal?” she asked.
“What?” he said, tearing himself away from his thoughts with effort.
“Hal, your best bud, your old roommate. Is he coming?”
“Yes,” Luke said, although he was beginning to regret issuing the invitation. Why did he have to share Sadie with Hal? He shook his head at his own immaturity. “Someone called for you while you were in the shower.”
“Was it Oprah? I’m going to have to change my number again.”
“No, it was a guy named Rick.”
He handed her the phone. She put up her hands and it bounced listlessly onto the table. “Rick called?”
“Who’s Rick?”
“He’s my ex-boyfriend. What did you tell him?”
“I said you couldn’t come to the phone because you were curled in the fetal position, crying over your ex-boyfriend. Was that the wrong thing to say?”
“No, that’s probably what he imagines I’m doing anyway.” She sank to a chair. “I can’t believe he called.”
“He sounded nice, different than what I imagine one of your men to sound like.”
“He’s available, if you want me to introduce you. Although I have to warn you that his beard gets really scratchy on the days he doesn’t shave.”
“Why did you break up?” He took the chair beside her and sat down.
“He dumped me on the day I got fired. According to him, the two events weren’t related.”
“Is it too late for me to amend the part about him sounding nice? Because now he sounds like a pompous jerk.”
“See, it’s amazing that you can hear that story and understand his character right away when it took me a year to figure it out. I really stink at dating and choosing men, Luke. I’ve got to do better next time around.”
“Is there an angel beam on my head? Because I could be your man.” Hal stood in the doorway, his arms loaded with pizza.
“Hal, you would have to hire someone to handle all my baggage, and you can’t afford that until you’re out of med school,” Sadie said. She stood to relieve him of the pizza burden.
“Sadie, sweets, you are underestimating my ability to ignore everything but the way you look. I am willing to be as shallow as you want me to be.”
“That’s the thing, Hal. I sort of want depth this time, but guys who want depth don’t like me.”
She sounded serious, and that made Luke sad. But he couldn’t exactly disagree with her about the baggage since he accounted for at least a carryon in that pile.
Hal grasped Sadie’s chin between this thumb and forefinger. “Sadie, you are the most beautiful, kindest, most fun woman I’ve ever known, and if some man can’t see past your baggage, then that’s his problem.” He gave a not-so-subtle glance at Luke who scowled in response. Hal had sounded uncharacteristically serious, too. Luke had the sense that if not for the issues between himself and Sadie, Hal might actually try to pursue her. He should tell Hal the way was clear for him if that was what he wanted. He had been intending to have the conversation for a while. Soon, he would do it soon.
Abby bustled into the kitchen. Like Sadie, her arrival always caused a stir. They were the sort of women who could change the energy of a room with their presence or mood. “You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had,” Abby said as she sank into a chair. Over pizza, she told them stories from her harrowing day that kept them laughing until Sadie’s phone rang.
She glanced at it. “It’s Rick.” She shoved it at Hal. “Answer and feign outrage.”
Luke would never have been able to pull off what she wanted, but Hal was a master, and they all leaned forward to listen. “Hello. No, Sadie can’t come to the phone. Yes, this is her phone, but she’s tied up. What do you mean where is she? I’m not in the habit of informing strangers of her whereabouts. No, I don’t think I will give her the message, Rick. Whoever you are, stop calling. Oh, you’re that ex she told me about.” He winked at Sadie who covered her mouth with her hands to stifle her laughter. “Look, the yacht doesn’t get good reception, so I’m going to say this before I lose you. Stop calling my wife. I have a team of lawyers who have nothing better to do than make sure you lose every asset you own. You’re a nosy one, aren’t you, Rick? Fine, if it will help you sleep at night, we were married last week, but it’s been building for a while. We met in Versailles a few years ago and kept in contact. The timing was always wrong. I called her a few weeks ago, and we picked up where we left off. I have no idea why you’ve never heard of me, probably for the same reason I’ve never heard of you. Sadie doesn’t kiss and tell, does she? And there was that whole confidentiality agreement, but that’s over since the marriage. I have to go because we’re heading into international waters and the signal is lousy. Don’t call again.” He pushed the button and set the phone on the table. Sadie and Abby gave him a round of applause.