Small Change (23 page)

“Actually, I have to go run an errand.”

Jess covered the mouthpiece. “She says she has to run an errand,” she reported to Rachel. “She's been crying.”

“Keep her talking,” said Rachel, and took off.

“We could run errands with you,” Jess suggested. “You know, save on gas.”

“That's okay,” said Tiffany. “I'll catch up with you guys next week.”

Jess was still scrambling around for a way to keep her talking when Tiffany hung up.

Tiffany had her purse and was at the door when Rachel walked through it.

“What's going on?” Rachel demanded. Her eyes narrowed at the sight of Tiffany's purse. “Were you going shopping?”

“Just to get a baby present.” How could she not get a baby present? She had to get a baby present. Right now. And … who knew what else? “My sister's pregnant, and I'm so happy for her,” Tiff added, blinking furiously to keep back the tears.

Rachel's angry teacher expression melted away. “Aw, come here, you,” she said and gathered Tiffany into a hug.

“I'm happy for her. I really am,” Tiffany insisted, tears making her voice uneven.

“I know you are,” said Rachel, patting her back.

“I hate myself for being jealous. What kind of horrible woman gets jealous cuz her own sister is pregnant?”

“You wouldn't be human if you weren't a little green-eyed,” Rachel assured her. “Come on over to Jess's and have a donut.”

“I should get a present,” insisted Tiffany. She had to show Cressie how happy she was for her.

“Uh, no. Not in your condition you shouldn't. You'll go on a spending spree.”

Tiffany pulled away and rubbed her face.

“Her baby's not due for months, right?”

Tiffany bit her lip and nodded.

Rachel gave a knowing nod. “So, come January we'll go to the children's department together and get something awesome on sale. Okay?”

Tiffany took a deep breath. “Okay.”

“Now, do you need to call her?”

“I can't. I'll cry and she'll think I'm not happy for her.”

“No, you won't,” Rachel said sternly. “Because you're going to be thinking that soon it will be your turn.”

It was impossible to go there. Tiffany's throat closed up and she shook her head.

“You'll be thinking how much fun you're going to have spoiling your niece. Or nephew. Sleepovers, movies— if it's a boy Brian can teach him how to work on cars. If it's a girl you can give her pedicures. You're going to have so much fun. And none of the expense. Or the gray hairs.” Rachel looked her in the eye to see if she was getting through.

Tiffany nodded.

“Come on, get the phone,” urged Rachel.

Tiffany fetched the phone and dialed. The line started ringing and her heart sped up.

Her sister answered. “Tiff, did Mommy tell you?”

“Yeah, she did. I'm so happy for you,” said Tiffany, and even as the words came out of her mouth she realized she was.

“Did Mommy tell you I want you to be the baby's godmother?”

“A godmother?” Tiffany breathed.

“We're not sure yet what we're having, but we had the ultrasound and we think it might be a girl.”

“A girl.” Tiffany had always wanted a girl. Girls were so much fun. “Perfect.”

“So, will you?”

Maybe a godmother was all she'd ever be, but so what? She'd be the best godmother in the entire world. “Of course,” Tiffany said.

“I'm so excited,” gushed Cressie.

“Me, too,” Tiffany said, assuring them both. “I'm going to throw you an awesome baby shower. And names! You'll need to start thinking about names. I'll get you a baby name book. And I can help you set up a nursery.”

“You're the best sister ever,” gushed Cressie. “My child is going to be so lucky to have you for a godmother.”

They exchanged I-love-you's and I'll-call-you's and then Tiffany hung up. “Wow, I'm going to be a godmother,” she said to Rachel.

Rachel nodded solemnly. “It's a huge honor. People don't ask just anyone to be a godmother, you know.”

Tiffany nodded, internalizing that. The main reason she'd wanted to be a mother was so she could have a child to love, a little someone to give herself to. She could give herself to her sister's baby. Cressie would share the love.

“You'll be a great godmother,” Rachel predicted. “Come on. Let's go tell Jess the good news.”

Tiffany followed her friend out the door, tossing her purse on a nearby chair as she left the house. She wouldn't be needing it.

“
B
ack-to-school shopping season is almost here,” moaned Rachel, accepting a latte from Tiffany as the three women settled in at Tiffany's house for their weekly session. The era of the spitting espresso machine was behind them and Tiff had become a true barista. Rachel took a sip of her latte and sighed. “Taste bud heaven.”

“It's my latest invention: white chocolate and caramel,” said Tiff.

“You were so right to keep that espresso maker,” said Rachel. Hey, she could admit when she was wrong.

Tiff beamed. “I'm good.”

“I thought Grandma had come through with the clothes,” said Jess, bringing them back to the subject of back-to-school spending.

“Only for Claire. So I have David to outfit, plus we have to get all the usual school supplies.”

“I remember that,” said Jess. “It adds up in a hurry. Have you budgeted how much you're going to spend?”

“Yes, but let me tell you, I'm finding it scary to budget when the income flow is so low.”

“No jobs on the horizon?” asked Jess.

Rachel shook her head sadly. “I biked over to the school district office again yesterday and I checked the Web site this morning. Nothing.”

“If you need help I'm sure I could come up with a few dollars,” offered Jess.

As if she had any extra money. “I'll be okay,” said Rachel. “At least I've got some kids lined up to tutor. That plus subbing should get me through for a while.”

“I bet Chad would help you if you really needed it,” said Tiffany.

“The king of the cheap date? I don't think so. Anyway, I wouldn't ask him. It wouldn't be right.”

“I don't see why not. After all, he did spend a fortune taking you guys to the fair,” argued Tiffany.

“And I suspect he paid for it big time.” Rachel shook her head. “No, I'd rather depend on myself than a man, anyway. That way I know I have someone I really can count on.”

“He seems pretty dependable so far,” said Jess. “Did I see him out there mowing your lawn this morning?”

Rachel grinned. “We bartered.”

“Yeah?” Jess's eyes took on a lascivious twinkle, making Rachel's cheeks turn pink. “What did you barter?”

“I'm making him dinner tonight,” said Rachel.

Jess took a thoughtful drink of her latte. “Do you have any idea how much longer he's going to be hanging out at his friend's cabin?”

Good question. So far Chad showed no signs of leaving. “I don't know.”

“Do you think he doesn't have any other place to go?” asked
Tiffany. “I mean maybe all he has is this rental house. Maybe he's barely making it.”

Hearing someone else voice her suspicion was a little unnerving. “I don't know,” said Rachel. Every time the subject of jobs and money came up Chad stayed vague.

Jess frowned. “Is this getting serious between you two?”

“I … don't know.”

“How do you feel about him?” Jess persisted.

“That I do know. I can't imagine my life without him.”

“Can he afford you?” asked Tiff bluntly.

“He's not penniless. He has the rental house, and I know he sells real estate.”

“Did he ever tell you who he works for?” asked Jess.

“Well, no. But I never asked,” Rachel said. “I know he goes to the city a lot.” She saw Tiffany and Jess exchange worried looks. “He's not a scammer if that's what you're thinking.” He couldn't be. She'd met his sister, for crying out loud.

“It just seems odd that he's so secretive,” said Jess.

“Maybe he's really rich,” said Tiffany. “And he doesn't want you to know cuz he wants to be sure you like him for him.”

“A man who's kind, hot,
and
rich? Do they ever make them that way?” asked Rachel.

“I wouldn't get your hopes up,” Jess agreed. “He's probably just uncomfortable talking about money. A lot of people are.”

“Well, I guess when the time's right he'll show me his balance sheet,” Rachel said with a shrug. “Right now we're just dating.”

She wanted it to be more in the worst kind of way, but she wasn't going to push for more. She wasn't in a hurry anyway, she told herself. There was no need to rush. She'd been there,
done that. Anyway, she had plenty of other good things in her life to keep her busy, she reminded herself.

And as school approached, she got busier, signing the kids up for their activities, meeting the students she'd be tutoring and their parents, and blogging.

Her site was starting to get a lot of hits and she was fast learning that it took a quite a bit of effort to find new helpful information and money management tips and post them. But it made her feel good to know she was helping other women who were struggling with financial challenges.

“Who knows? Maybe you can find a way to make this pay,” said Jess when the subject of the blog came up again.

They were sitting on the public dock, helping Rachel celebrate the first day of school and enjoying the unusually warm fall day.

“I don't know how I'd do that,” said Rachel, gazing out at a couple of ducks crossing the lake.

“You could let people advertise on your site,” suggested Tiffany.

Rachel dipped a foot in the cool water. “Gosh, I wouldn't know where to begin.”

Tiffany snapped her fingers. “You could write a book!”

“A book?”

“Why not?” said Tiffany. “You're putting up all these tips and stuff. Turn 'em into a book. How hard can it be?”

“I'm no expert.”

“I don't know that you have to be an expert,” Jess said.

Tiffany gave a lock of blonde hair a thoughtful twirl. “You could talk about how we started our club and what we've learned so far and all the things we're doing to save money.”

“The neighborhood school clothes swap you hosted last week is a great example,” added Jess.

Rachel couldn't help smiling at that. Even Claire, who had returned from New York determined to be picky, had come away with a treasured outfit.

“There are all kinds of online sites for self-publishing now,” Jess continued, warming to the subject.

“It's a thought,” said Rachel. “Speaking of saving money, Chad and I were hiking on Green Mountain with the kids last weekend. The huckleberries are almost ready to pick.”

Tiffany stopped twirling her hair. “That's where the bears are, isn't it?”

“Lions and tigers and bears. Oh, my!” teased Jess.

“Nothing's going to get us,” Rachel assured Tiffany. “If we see a bear, Jess and I will throw ourselves in front of you.”

“That'll only work if we see one before it sees us,” Tiffany retorted with a frown.

“I can go any day next week,” said Jess, ignoring her. “I'm done at the gym so my mornings are free. And my income's been slashed in half, so the more free food I get the better.”

“Does Michael have any leads?” Tiffany asked, bringing up the subject Rachel had been afraid to touch.

Jess shook her head sadly and stared into her mug. “I need another mocha.”

Tiffany grabbed her thermos and Rachel put an arm around Jess. “He'll find something.”

Jess's normally sunny expression was dark. “We never dreamed it would take this long. His severance money is disappearing and our medical runs out the end of the year. If only we'd had a chunk of money in savings. We'd still be unemployed, but at least we'd have a cushion. I tell you, sometimes I feel like a walking example of what not to do.”

“Things will turn around. You'll see,” Tiffany said, and freshened their mugs with more of her latest latte creation. “Look at us. Things are starting to pick up in Planning and Development. Brian says that means things are probably going to start picking up all over.”

Jess heaved a shaky sigh. “Sorry. I guess it's all starting to get to me. Michael isn't sleeping well. He tosses and turns half the night.”

Which meant that Jess probably wasn't sleeping well either. For the first time, Rachel saw beyond the makeup to the circles under her friend's teary eyes. “Something will happen to turn things around, I just know it.” Actually, she didn't know it, but surely wanting it badly enough for her friend counted nearly as much.

“I don't know how to help him,” Jess confessed. “Other than trying to be positive and cut corners at every turn.” Her shoulders slumped. “My father was right. I should have finished college. At least I could have been a music teacher.”

“Yes, because teaching is such a steady profession,” Rachel said with a frown.

“I wish there was something we could do to help,” said Tiffany.

“You just did.” Jess grabbed a napkin and blew her nose. “Just being able to talk helps. Thanks for listening.”

“Hey, you should put this in your book, too,” Tiffany said to Rachel as if writing a book was a settled matter. “Having a money support group with your friends is about more than money. It's the only way to get through hard stuff.”

“That's for sure,” said Jess.

They were right, thought Rachel. Brainstorming ideas for making extra income, working together to save money, and encouraging each other hadn't necessarily kept the wolf from the door, but it was helping them all feel like they could face him if he got in.

“Speaking of doing things with friends,” said Jess, “when do we want to go huckleberry-picking?”

Tiffany's smiled dropped. “I need another muffin.”

“I don't know about this,” said Tiffany as Rachel pulled her mini-van into the parking lot at the foot of Green Mountain on a Friday morning.

“No bears are going to get us,” Rachel assured her for the third time since they'd gotten into the car. “Too many people come here to hike and mountain bike. The bears make themselves scarce.”

“The only time you have to worry is when you come up on one with her cub,” put in Jess.

“Well, how do you know we won't find some mother and her baby out for a stroll?” Tiffany fretted. “Don't bears love berries?”

“Instead of thinking about bears, think about that wild huckleberry jam we're going to be making for our families and friends and the pies and the huckleberry pancakes we'll get to eat,” suggested Rachel. “And think of the money we'll save.”

“If we live,” Tiffany muttered, but she grabbed her pan and the big Tupperware bowl Rachel had brought and got out of the van.

The parking lot at the head of the hiking trails was old and rutted. At one end a large map mounted behind glass and posted under a rustic little cedar roof showed hikers where to find various trails among the fir and alder and bushes. The women didn't have to follow the main trail very far before spotting the berry bushes. The things branched out on all sides.

“Wow,” breathed Jess, taking it all in. “It's a berry goldmine. Free food, here I come.” And with that she left the beaten trail
and charged into the thick of the bushes. Rachel took her Tupper-ware bowl and followed after.

Tiffany lingered on the trail and began to pick the more sparse offering from a nearby bush.

“You have to blaze new trail to find the bushes that haven't been picked,” Rachel told her.

Tiffany took a tentative step.

“Oh, come on, will you?” Rachel said in disgust. “Nothing's going to get you. Do you see any bears?”

“Of course not,” snapped Tiffany. “They sneak up on you.”

“No, they don't. That's lions and there are no lions here.”

“I've heard there are cougars though,” Jess said.

Thank you, Jess.
Rachel frowned at her, then said to Tiffany, “Get out here and quit being such a weenie.”

Tiffany scowled and marched through the underbrush to join them. “Okay, fine. But if we get eaten, don't blame me.”

“At least we'll all go together,” quipped Jess. “And think of the free food we're getting.” She started singing, “Food, Glorious Food” from
Oliver!
which distracted Tiffany enough to help her get into the spirit of the adventure and start picking.

Ten minutes later, though, Tiff had a fresh observation. “These berries are so small. It's going to take forever to fill up my pail.”

“Good things take time,” Rachel said.

That shut her up for a few more minutes. Meanwhile, Jess had slowly wandered off. “Where's Jess?” Tiff asked, panicked.

Rachel looked around and frowned. “I thought we decided we were going to stick together. Jess!”

“Over here,” came Jess's disembodied voice. “I've hit the mother lode.”

“Come on,” Rachel said, starting off in search of Jess.

“We're getting farther from the trail,” protested Tiffany.

“We won't lose it.”

“How do you know? Did you bring a compass?”

“We're heading straight one direction. To get back all we have to do is turn and retrace our steps,” Rachel said patiently. Honestly, what did Tiff think she was, an idiot?

“This is not a good idea,” Tiffany whimpered, following behind.