Authors: Gemma Brooks
“It’s only two thirty,” I objected.
“We’ve got the whole day ahead of us. Let’s go do something. A hike. A drive.
Anything.”
“I’m tired, Brynn,” he said. He slid off
the bar stool and shuffled down the hall to his bedroom and closed the door.
He hadn’t necessary chosen me over Ava.
Not yet anyway. I may have had his heart and his presence, but Ava had
something else of his, and I couldn’t quite figure it out.
“Hi, honey!” my mom said as I walked into
her room. Her hair was slicked back into a
pony tail
and her skin glistened with sweat. She looked pale, sickly almost, but her face
lit up like the Fourth of July the moment she saw me.
“Mom, are you okay?” I asked as I rushed
to sit next to her on the bed.
“I’m fine,” she said. “Just the early
stages of detoxing. Makes me a little sick, but you have to get sick before you
can get better. That’s what my counselor told me.”
“Mom,” I said with sympathetic eyes. I
hated seeing her so weak and vulnerable, but I knew it was for the best.
“Sweetie, don’t worry,” she said as she patted
my back. “They have doctors and nurses here. I’m in good hands. This place is
truly amazing.”
I glanced out her bedroom window, which
had ocean views, and watched as the leaves on the trees swayed and ruffled in
the Pacific breezes. I couldn’t have picked a better place for my mom to
recover and get healthy.
“So
you adjusting
okay so far?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” she said. “I feel like I’m on
vacation. Well, minus the constant puking and sweating. And the food here, it’s
so healthy and flavorful. I’ve never eaten this well in my life!”
I laughed. My mom was never a good cook.
The best she could do was
make
a box of macaroni and
cheese or throw a frozen pizza in the oven. And we were always lucky when
nothing came out burnt.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked as she
studied my face. “I can tell something’s up.”
My mom, even in her sweaty, clammy,
sickly condition, could tell something was bothering me.
“It’s Hudson,” I sighed. I couldn’t beat
around the bush with her. She knew me too well.
“What about him?” she asked, her eyes
squinting.
She didn’t like the sound of it
,
I knew that
.
“He has ex-girlfriend with some
problems,” I said. “He thinks he needs to help her. She’s crazy, mom. She comes
over uninvited. She says horrible things to me. And he won’t get rid of her. He
feels like she’s his responsibility. He has to save her or something.”
My mom sighed and slipped her arm around
my back.
“Men,” she said. She shook her head in
sympathy. “Am I right?”
I wiped a tear from my eye. It felt good
to talk to someone I knew I could trust.
“You know what I think?” she asked. “I
think that Hudson’s a good egg. Look at everything he’s done for you.
For me too.
He is crazy about you, that man. Don’t let him
go for one second.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I moaned.
“It is simple,” she said. “No
relationship will ever be perfect, Brynn. And every relationship requires
compromise. It’s not fair for you to ask him to change the person that he is.
Has he asked you to change who you are?”
“No,” I replied. “Not at all.”
“See,” she said. “He loves you for you.
You have to love him for who he is too.”
She had a point, but it still didn’t
change the fact that I wanted Ava out of our life for good.
“What about Ava?” I said. “Does that mean
I have to put up with her being in our life and meddling in our relationship?”
My mom, in all her sober clarity, flashed
me a perplexed look. “I don’t know, sweetie. I have a feeling she won’t meddle
forever. If Hudson truly wants to be with you, she’ll have to accept that
sooner or later. Eventually she’ll have to move on when she realizes she’s not
coming between you two.”
“I hope so,” I sighed. I leaned my head
on my mom’s shoulder and breathed her in. The unfamiliar scent of lemongrass
and verbena permeated from her soft skin. It was probably the kind of soap the
facility gave them to use, but she still felt like home.
“I’m so glad you’re not hung up on that
Luke asshole anymore,” my mom said frankly.
We both laughed.
“What was so bad about Luke?” I asked.
“Ugh,” she groaned. “Everything.”
“I never knew you felt that way,” I told
her. I’d always had a hunch, but we’d never actually talked about it.
“I just always knew you could do better,”
she said. “I could never really picture you as a farmer’s wife anyway. You’re
too delicate.”
“Psh,” I laughed as I swatted her arm.
It felt good to have my mom back again,
and if it weren’t for Hudson, it would’ve have been that way at all.
I left the visit with my mom floating on
a breeze with my head in the clouds. I felt clearer, and better about everything
that had happened. I had to go home to Hudson, apologize a million times, and
try to make things right. It wasn’t fair for me to expect him to change or give
him ultimatums. He’d never done anything like that to me. I had to love and
accept him for who he was and pray that Ava would eventually wise up and go
away.
Everything was going to fall into place
,
I just knew it
.
The moment I pulled into the garage, I
saw it.
The empty parking stall.
The black Range Rover
was gone, which meant so was Hudson. I checked my phone but there was no text
message. In the pit of my stomach, I hoped to God he wasn’t with Ava.
I walked inside only to find Flor
standing in the kitchen, scrubbing the counters.
“Hi, Flor,” I said, attempting to sound
chipper. “Have you seen Hudson?”
She turned to look at me, shrugged, and
then resumed scrubbing.
“Yes? No?” I asked.
She shook her head no.
“So you have no idea where he went?” I
asked. I wasn’t buying it. I didn’t want to believe she was covering for him,
but no other explanation was making any kind of sense in that moment.
I was done playing games with Flor. I
didn’t have time. I grabbed my bag and headed back out to my car. I had to
drive by Ava’s. I had to see if Hudson was there. I hoped and prayed he wasn’t
and that I was just overreacting, but I had to put my mind at ease.
I didn’t remember how to get to Malibu,
but I did remember her house was right off a very memorable stretch of the
Pacific Coast Highway. If my nav could get me there, I was sure I would
remember which house was hers if I saw it. It was just up the road from an
adorable little gas station with a blue steel roof that we’d stopped at once
before.
I typed “Pacific Coast Highway, Malibu”
into my nav and hoped for the best. My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I
drove like a crazy person to Malibu. Everything was a whirring haze around me
as my ears pulsed and my stomach churned.
Under normal circumstances, it would’ve
been such a perfect Saturday. The sun was shining, as always, there was a light
breeze, and the birds were chirping. The traffic wasn’t ridiculous, and the
ocean views spanned on for miles. I played some of my favorite music as I
attempted to enjoy the drive there and distract my busy brain from assuming the
worst, but nothing was working. I wouldn’t calm down until I saw that Hudson
wasn’t with Ava.
As I approached Malibu, I realized there
were hundreds and hundreds of houses along the Pacific Coast Highway and a fair
amount of gas stations to boot. It wasn’t like I could just slow down and leisurely
take my time trying to remember which mansion was hers. It was going to take a
stroke of luck, and I’d never been a lucky person.
I drove up and down the highway for at
least a good hour, my head turning every so often to catch a good glimpse of the
houses while still making sure I stayed in my lane and avoided mailboxes and
oncoming traffic. It was a struggle, but when I finally found that quaint
little gas station I knew I was in the right area. As soon as I saw her modern,
square abode, I breathed a sigh of relief. I’d soon had my answer.
I pulled off onto the side of the road,
gravel crunching beneath my tires, as I attempted to peek into her driveway. It
was surrounded by trees and bushes and my vision was somewhat occluded. I
didn’t want to get any closer in case someone saw me, but I inched up little by
little until I saw it. The tail end of Hudson’s black Range Rover. He was
there. He was with Ava.
I felt like I’d been sucker punched. I
couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t see through the hot, heavy tears
that were forming in my eyes well enough to get myself back onto the highway
and the hell away from Ava’s.
I waited until there was a break in
traffic before getting back on the road. I didn’t understand. Bringing it up to
him would only make me look crazy and would probably start a fight, not to
mention he’d of course have a perfect explanation for it. He always had a
perfect explanation for everything.
I had a decision to make, and I had very
little time. As if something washed over me, my tears suddenly dried up and my
pathetic, woe-is-me attitude turned into anger. I pulled off the road and turned
around to head back to Ava’s.
The
iron gate
to
Ava’s driveway had been left open, conveniently, and I pulled my car just up to
the edge. Somewhat hidden by the massive amount of trees and shrubbery that
surrounded her place, my mind raced as I thought about going up to the door and
confronting them both.
There were two possible outcomes that
played in my head.
Either it would go really bad and
I
would freak out and cry and scream and look horrible, then walk away like some
pathetic girl, with Hudson and Ava embracing and laughing about how pathetic I
look.
Or it would go really well. Hudson would
be
there
telling Ava that she really needs to butt out
and leave us alone. She would understand, having just had the closure she
needed, and we would live happily ever after. Hudson would completely
understand my wanting to confront them, and he wouldn’t be upset that I drove
all the way out to Malibu to find out if he was there.
Neither of those
were
realistic. I squeezed my eyes tight and tried to think of a more realistic
scenario but nothing came to mind. Every scenario made me look like the crazy
one in the end, and I knew I was far from crazy.
Before I had a chance to dream up yet
another scenario, I caught a glimpse of Hudson leaving Ava’s house and getting
into his car. As I silently cursed myself and prayed he wouldn’t see me, I
peeled off and turned left down a small paved road with a “private drive” sign.
With my car far enough away from the main road, Hudson wouldn’t see me.
While I sat parked under a canopy of lush
green, I waited for him to speed past, and he did. I gave him several more
minutes to get ahead of me and then typed his address into my navigation
system, only something strange happened. The screen turned yellow. Then green.
Then stripes covered it and it made some sort of beeping noise. I bashed the
top of the dash with my hands, hoping to get it working again, but the screen
only went black.
I shut the car off and turned it back on.
That worked for most electronics, right? That didn’t work either. The
navigation system was completely down.
With hot tears in my pathetic little
eyes, I tried to remember how I got there. I’d taken so many turns it’d be damn
near impossible to remember the reverse route, but I was going to try.
I headed back towards the PCH and hoped
for the best. A few turns and a good hour later, I’d somehow ended up in some
little beachy town. Only it wasn’t quaint or sweet. It was a little run down
and scary. And no one could pay me enough to step out of my vehicle and ask
someone for directions.
My phone vibrated in my lap. It was
Hudson calling.
“Hello?” I answered, trying to act
casual.
“Where are you?” he asked. His tone
wasn’t accusatory, thank goodness, which meant he hadn’t seen me spying on him.
He seemed more worried than anything else.
“I’m just driving around,” I said.
“Thought it’d be a nice day for a drive. Needed to get out of the house.”
“Uh, huh,” he said. “Where?”
I looked around for a sign or a business
with the town’s name on it, but I didn’t see anything.
“You still there?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said. “I don’t know the name of
the town I’m in right now.”
“Did you get lost?” he asked with a
laugh. “You know you have nav, right?”
“It’s broken,” I said flatly.
“Weird,” he said. “I’ll call the dealer
first thing tomorrow. Just use your phone.”
“My phone?” Being so worked up had
completely fried my brain cells apparently. I hadn’t even thought to use my
phone to get directions.
“Yeah. Use the nav feature on your phone
or use Google Maps,” he said, drawing out his words as if he were speaking to
an imbecile. “Are you okay? You seem a little…distraught.”
“I’m fine.” He could probably hear the
lie in my tone. “Here’s a sign. Okay, I’m in Maplewood.”
“Maplewood?” he said. “That’s just
outside of Malibu. What were you doing all the way over there?”