“What’s this?” Sloane asked, holding up what looked like a shoebox.
Dex walked over to Sloane and smiled. “Shit, I forgot about those.” He gently took the shoebox covered in stickers and childhood scribbles.
“Why is that lion wearing a lab coat?” Sloane asked with a chuckle.
Dex arched an eyebrow at him. “That’s not a lion. It’s Doc Brown.”
“Oh. Well, it looks like he has a mane.”
“Honestly.” Dex shook his head in shame at Sloane. He looked around the room. “Where’s that tape recorder you found?”
Ash glanced in the boxes around them before reaching into one. “Here it is.” He passed it to Cael, who turned it over to Dex.
Propping the player on one of the sealed boxes, Dex pulled the shoelaces securing the box loose and opened it, a big dopey smile on his face. “They’re mixtapes. My dad used to make them for me.” He looked through the tapes of classic rock and old eighties tunes. Man, he’d played the hell out of these things. Every day he’d listen to them. His mom set rules, allowing him to listen for a certain amount of time. Otherwise he would have just sat there in his own little world of pop tunes playing pretend as the world went on around him.
“My birthday mixes are all here.” He went through the tapes, each one written in his dad’s barely legible handwriting. He’d drawn little stickmen with guitars or mullets on some of them. He came across a few he couldn’t remember. “Hm. That’s weird.”
“What is it?” Tony asked, walking over to him.
Dex showed him the cassette. “Bee Gees. ‘Smoke and Mirrors.’”
“Why is that weird?” Ash asked.
“I don’t remember this tape.”
“That’s not hard to believe,” Sloane said gently. “You were five, Dex.”
Dex held up one of the black cassette tapes labeled “Dex’s Birthday 1984.”
“There are forty-eight songs on this tape, and I can list them all. I can tell you every song that’s on each one of these tapes, except for these five here.” He slotted the cassette back into the shoebox before holding up the first in the lineup. The Bee Gees tape. “I have no idea what songs are on here, or the other four. Not to mention all these other tapes are sixty minutes in length while these five are one hundred eighty.”
“Let me see that for a second.” Tony took the tape from him and inspected it. “This is Gina’s handwriting.”
Dex stared at him. “Mom?”
Cael studied one of the unfamiliar tapes. The other four also had his mom’s handwriting.
“Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Dad was the one who made the mixtapes. Mom did video. She wasn’t a fan of the recorder.” He pressed the Eject button, then slipped the tape into the recorder before pressing Play. It was weird of his mom to have made a tape. Had she just forgotten to give it to him? The gentle melody and soft lyrics of the Bee Gees song hit a little too close to home, and Dex couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes. He smiled and went to turn it off when the song faded and a voice he never thought he’d hear again had his heart in his throat.
“Hi, baby. It’s Mom.”
“Oh God.” Dex covered his mouth with his hand as the tears rolled free. His hands shook, and he closed his eyes as he felt Tony’s hand on his shoulder. Her voice was just as he remembered. Over the years it had started to fade, no matter how hard he’d clung to his memories of her, of the times she’d read to him, of her beautiful voice as she sang to him, little by little they became harder to recall. It was so good to hear her voice.
“I know how much you love your dad’s mixtapes, so I’m confident you’ll hang on to them. You’re such a good boy, Dex. I know you’ve grown up to be a good man, and handsome, just like your daddy. I’m sorry we couldn’t be there to see it. There’s so much I want to say to you. The truth might be hard to hear, but no matter what happens, what you feel, please never doubt that your father and I loved you with all our hearts. What we did—”
Dex threw a hand out and stopped the tape. “I don’t think I can do this.”
“You don’t have to,” Tony offered gently. Dex turned to him and tried his hardest to keep his emotions under control, but it was so damned hard. It hurt. It hurt so fucking much. Dex caught movement from the corner of his eye and was aware of Sloane ushering everyone upstairs. Dex was grateful. He was having trouble breathing as it was.
“She knew. When she made this, she knew something was going to happen. That means she had to have recorded this before that night at the movies. She knew she was in danger, and she still went through with it.” Dex couldn’t help his anger. “Why? In the end what did it get them? Nothing. They didn’t save Sloane, Ash, or any of the others, and I grew up without them. They left me behind, and for what?” He paced the floor, getting angrier by the moment. How could his parents have left him like that? How could they be so careless? His dad had been an HPF detective, for fuck’s sake. Why hadn’t he talked her out of it? Why hadn’t they found someone to help, someone who could protect them?
“Son.”
The word cut through Dex’s growing ire, and he felt like such an asshole. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to belittle what you mean to me or what an amazing dad you’ve been. It’s selfish. I know it is. I just don’t understand how she could go through with it knowing what it would cost.”
Tony put a hand to Dex’s shoulder. “Your mom and dad were like family to me, Dex. Hell, next to your aunt Danelle, they were my only family. When my own flesh and blood shut the door on me for becoming a cop after what happened to my father, your parents were there to help me through it. Your dad and I felt the same. We both wanted to make a difference, and what better way to do that than from the inside? My family didn’t understand that. Your mom and dad were good people. Whatever they did, the sacrifice they made, leaving you behind, I’m certain it was a decision they didn’t take lightly. Have faith in them. Hear your mom out.”
Dex nodded. His dad was right. The least he could do was listen to what his mom had to say. Even if he didn’t want to, he needed to hear her again, even if it brought all the pain back. He needed to hear her voice again. Taking a deep breath, he took the cassette recorder and box of tapes with him to the stairs and sat down. Dex looked up at Tony.
“Will you stay with me and listen to it?”
“Sure.” Tony took a seat on the next step above him and to the side. He ran a hand over Dex’s hair, comforting him, before leaning against the wall. Dex pressed Play.
“Your father and I loved you with all our hearts. What we did, we did for those children, and for you. I know it might be hard for you to understand, but your father and I can’t sit back while these children are tortured and murdered. I know there’s a chance you might never hear this, but those behind the research facility will come looking for the evidence I’ve collected against them. There’s no place they’ll leave unturned. This was the safest place I could think of. On this tape I’ve recorded my findings, while the remaining four contain all the detailed recordings made by Dr. Abraham Shultzon. Perhaps some of this evidence will be admissible in a court of law, but at the very least, if given to the proper operatives, an investigation can take place. Please listen to the tapes in their entirety, in a secure location, and more important than anything, stay safe, baby.”
Dex closed his eyes and listened.
“My name is Dr. Gina Daley, medical officer for the CDC Registration Office, Department of Therian Children. The date is May 8, 1985. Next year the government will launch the First Gen Research Facility in order to determine the cause behind the rising mortality rate of Therians as a result of postshift. The facility will be under the direction of Dr. Abraham Shultzon. What originally began as a noble scientific endeavor for the salvation of Therians has become something truly deplorable. The original proposal for the facility encompassed the examination of Therian children. Examinations that would be carried out by some of the world’s top medical professionals in a controlled environment. No other tests were proposed. These children were merely to be examined and observed throughout their growth into adulthood within their own family surroundings, with all parents of the children informed and educated so that they might better understand the Therian biology. Postshift and other assessments that posed risks would be conducted solely on adult Therian volunteers. Not children.
“Dr. Shultzon possessed a list of names, one I’ve made a copy of and hidden in your most cherished childhood possession. The original was burned. The list contains the names of Therian children, all First Gens, who will be taken for research purposes, tests, and experimentation. Their shifts are being kept from their families. I have personally examined one of the children, a healthy male jaguar Therian named Sloane Brodie. Shultzon has taken great interest in several of these children. Upon further investigation, I’ve discovered these particular children contain anomalies in their blood. However, these anomalies cannot be fully explored until the children reach maturity. Dr. Shultzon intends to study these particular children. For what, I don’t know, but from what I’ve gathered, these Therians have the ability to impact humans and the world around us. Judging by the facility’s equipment and medical invoices, I fear some of these children may not survive whatever is in store for them. After several failed attempts with the board of trustees, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands.
“The world is burning around us. It crumbles at the hands of greedy, narrow-minded, power-mad adults whose ignorance threatens to tear us apart, along with everything we stand for. If something isn’t done, this poison will spread to our children, and the legacy we leave them will be nothing but a world reduced to ashes. Dex, baby, listen to Tony. Lead a happy life filled with joy. Never lose sight of the good, and help those who appear lost. I don’t know what will happen to the children on the First Gen list. If I fail, find them. Help them. Find Sloane Brodie. He’s the first. He’ll need you. Need you to show him the world is a better place with him in it. He needs love, baby. I can see it in his eyes. You can do that. Your heart is so big, it’ll have enough love for everyone. I love you. I love you so much, my angel.”
The tape ended, and Dex wiped the wetness from his cheek. He bit down on his bottom lip and tried damn hard not to give in to the sting behind his eyes. His vision blurred, and the harder he fought, the more it hurt. Tony sat beside him and pulled him into his arms.
“It’s okay, son.”
“I don’t want to let her go,” Dex said through his tears.
“Who says you have to?”
“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do? Grieve and move on?”
“You grieve, you move on with your life, but you never forget. They were your parents, Dex. They adored you, and they’ll always be with you.”
Dex nodded. He buried his face against Tony’s shoulder and cried. It was like grieving for them all over again. Only this time he was an adult, and he understood all the reasons, the whys, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. He let his head rest on Tony’s shoulder and just sat there with him for a while in the quiet basement. “Thank you, for taking such good care of me. For always being there for me. And for being such a great dad.”
“You’re welcome, son.”
Dex cleaned his face up as best he could with his shirtsleeve. His nose was stuffed up, but there wasn’t much he could do about it. Not that he cared if his family saw him cry. He wasn’t even bothered that Ash was included in that thought. Dex asked Tony to get the guys back downstairs. As soon as Sloane reached the bottom of the stairs, Dex slipped his arms around him and held him close, needing to feel his strong, warm body against Dex’s. He let out a shuddered sigh before stepping back.
“So the file Shultzon was talking about? It’s all on tape. The first tape is my mom, recording her findings. The next four are Shultzon’s recordings.”
“What are you going to do with them?” Cael asked.
“Keep them safe. Listen to them. Then hand them over to Sparks.” Not to mention make a copy of each one. He wasn’t handing anything over without taking precautions. “Oh, and my mom said she hid the list of First Gen Therians with anomalies in my most cherished childhood possession.”
Tony scratched his stubbled jaw. “I looked through all your toys after the funeral, but I came up empty.”
“Well, she said most cherished. Which is it?” Ash motioned to the ocean of boxes.
Dex shrugged. “I don’t know. I cherish all my childhood stuff.”
“Was there one thing you loved more than anything else?”
Sloane put his arms around Dex’s neck from behind, and Dex leaned back into him, thinking.
Something he’d loved more than anything else? “If there was something, it wouldn’t be down here in a box. I’d have kept it somewhere else.”
Dex and Tony exchanged glances before Dex ran for the stairs, the box of tapes cradled in his arms.
“I know where the list is.”
He pointed to Tony, knowing TIN was probably listening in. Everyone followed him upstairs, and Dex paused. The tapes. He couldn’t leave them here. He ran to the front door, grabbed his messenger bag, and stuck the box inside before he settled the strap across his body.
“Why don’t we all go get some dinner? I’m starving.” He wasn’t letting these tapes out of his sight.
“Dinner’s on me,” Tony said, following along. “Why don’t we go over to my place? I got those Therian-sized pizzas in the freezer, some beer in the fridge.”
They all climbed into Ash’s truck, since it was bigger. Dex told him not to speed and to drive normally. The last thing they needed was to draw attention to themselves. If TIN had operatives following them, who knew who else might be keeping an eye on them. Fifteen minutes later, they were outside Tony’s house.
Tony opened the front door and stepped aside. They followed Dex inside, leaving their jackets in the hall before Tony said he’d get the pizzas in the oven.
“Ash, why don’t you grab us some beers?”
Ash grabbed the six-pack from the fridge, twisted off the caps, and handed them each one. They made idle chat as they followed Dex upstairs, his heart ready to beat out of him. He could feel it in his gut. This was it. They had the file. Now all they needed was the list. Inside Cael’s old bedroom, Dex went straight to the bookshelf, where he gently took hold of Brave Heart Lion. A lump formed in his throat as he held it. Tears welled in his eyes, but he blinked them back. He carefully squeezed different areas, but there was no sign anything was inside. It was soft and well-loved. Only one way to find out. He turned to face Ash and made a cutting motion.