SNAP (The SNAP Trilogy Book 1) (19 page)

Cady shivers as the delicious grin spreads across my face. Her boyfriend takes her hand and I look at him. He's eyeing me suspiciously. If only he knew the thoughts drifting through my mind.

"No, I'll pass. Just came by for the money you owe me."

"It's in here."

Not wanting to leave Hazel's vicinity, I force myself to follow Dustin into his bedroom. He pulls the money out of his hiding spot and hands me the wad of dough.

"You sure you don't want to stick around for a bit?" he asks again and I shake my head. "Alright. See you tomorrow."

"Sounds good. We won't have as much to work with," I growl. "Supply was cut."

"What? Why? I thought you were paying extra to get more." Dustin's just as aggravated. This will affect his income as well.

"I don't know. He didn't want to talk about it, but I know he was holding out on me." I clap my hand on his shoulder. "It'll be alright. Pretty soon we won't need it. We're that much closer."

"Yeah, man." He smiles, but he doesn't seem happy by the idea. I can't tell if he doesn't believe we'll ever figure it out, or if he's scared and not sure about going through with it.

I leave him with his thoughts, because if I don't I'm going to slap the fuck out of him. There can't be any cold feet in this. Maybe it's because he's high as fuck right now. I'm hoping that's all it is and tomorrow he'll be ready to get down to business.

Entering the living room, everyone's attention turns to me, but the only one I give a fuck about is Hazel's. Her eyes meet mine for the first time since I got here. There she is, lurking in the depths of her silvery blue pools calling to me. Soon. We'll be together soon, love.

Hazel

In the beginning of this mess, I was just a little scared and worried. Now, I'm utterly terrified. I told myself not to look at him, but when I saw his reflection in a picture frame on the wall behind me I couldn't look away. I had to know what was coming without facing it head on. Running away has never been something I've done. Intimidation has never worked on me, only made me stronger. Phil is unlike anyone I've ever met. He's the devil reincarnate; the monster you look for in the shadows and that hides under your bed.

Seeing me with Cash was a surprise. That much was obvious in his demeanor. It didn't phase him though. If Cash hadn't been feeding me strength, I don't think I would have made it through those few minutes. His strong grip was a reminder that he was there and would take care of me when all I wanted to do was get the fuck out of that room, out of that house, and as far from Phil as possible.

I wasn't expecting him to come back into the room and stare me down with such intensity. Unspoken promises wafted from him turning my blood cold. What I suffered was bad enough; I don't want to learn how horrendous it could be. He can keep that nightmare to himself. I don't want to share in his sick fantasies.

The way he spoke my name before he left had me digging my nails into Cash's hand. Cash stiffened beneath me wary of Phil's tone and ready to attack. I hate depending on him for protection, but in that moment was so thankful there was someone ready to defend me. If my father were alive, he would kill Phil for what he had done. But he's not, and I have no one…except for this stranger who appeared at the right time in my life.

I kept face in front of Dustin, but I was shaken to my core. It was not the time to fill him in on everything that's happened. When he got back into the room, he looked around the group wondering what happened to our easy going atmosphere.

"Sorry about that. P can be…" He tilted his head and scrunched up his face searching for the word.

"Crazy?" I finished for him.

He smirked and nodded his head. "I was gonna say intense."

I huffed out a breath disagreeing. Dustin is not blind. He refuses to speak the truth, downplaying Phil's aggression to a personality trait instead of what it is. Mental fucking illness. Phil is batshit crazy.

Bobby laughed. "It's okay to say his name. We all know who he is. We live in the same town."

Dustin glanced over at Bobby and said, "It's one of the rules, man. His name is not to be spoken. I like the gig I have. It makes me a lot of fucking money. Don't say his name. You're damn lucky there's no one here that doesn't know him."

Cash didn't move a muscle while Dustin and Bobby discussed "P." Neither did Erick. Both of the men raptly listened to the discussion melting into the background so as not to get sucked into it.

"What happens if it's spoken, huh, Dustin? What's he going to do? He's just a lowly little drug dealer like you," Bobby spits back getting angry.

I don't want to know what Phil will do. He's losing it. If he'll strangle me in a parking lot with a witness, try to break down my door in broad daylight, and cockily show his dominance in room of my friends, what will he do to someone who speaks his name in the same sentence with drugs? The thought of it makes my stomach sour.

"He's bigger than you think, Bobby, so shut your fucking mouth. If this is brought up again, you won't be welcome here." Dustin glared at him putting an end to the conversation.

Bobby sat back and looked away from Dustin trying to control his emotions. He loves him like a brother. Dustin threatening to cut him out of his life told Bobby everything he needed to know. Dustin's loyalties have changed. They are no longer for his family and friends; they are for money, the drugs that make him money, and the man that can supply both. What I want to know is if money really is the driving factor or fear. Has Dustin gotten a taste of Phil's wrath?

We didn't stay long after that. When Dustin pulled out his box to do more Snap, I knew he was trying to silence his demons and bring back some semblance of happiness. I didn't want to be around to witness him suppressing his guilt for how he treated everyone with those comments, especially Bobby. I will be talking to Erick tomorrow about getting Bobby away from this cesspool before he gets involved with Dustin to keep them on speaking terms.

My fingers grip the steering wheel as I navigate the back roads between Swanson and Trinity. The only cars on these dirt roads at this hour are the stoners and the drunks attempting to get to parties or home without getting pulled over. Very few cops patrol them. It's a questionable area where they ride the line of both towns and the cops don't want to deal with the bureaucratic bullshit of jurisdiction. It's essentially a get out of jail free card; that is if you don't get pulled over by the cops waiting at both ends.

I peek at Cash wondering what's going through his mind and he's staring at me, his handsome face highlighted by the glow of the dashboard lights. He's waiting for me to break the silence. What he wants to know won't be easy for me to tell. I couldn't even open up to Cady. Taking a deep breath in preparation, I pull over to the side of the road.

My finger taps nervously on the steering wheel as I work up the courage to open my mouth. I stare out the windshield at the spread of my headlights and the darkness beyond.

"Ask."

I'm not dredging up every detail of that night with him. Not that I can remember them all, I wish there were no memories at all. It would be better not knowing than to live with it every day.

"What did Phil do to you?"

His deep voice is quiet, soothing even, but there's an edge to it. He wants to know, yet he dreads the answer. I dread saying it aloud. Talking about it means it's real, that it happened. I'd much prefer to keep it tucked away pretending it was just a horrible, reoccurring dream. That much I can handle. This, not so much.

I get lost in the memories of that night and the days that followed. The fading of my bruises were how I kept track of time as I tried to make sense of it all and came to terms with it. It's easier to get lost in the bad things that happen in life than the good. I've got the scars to prove it. Both physical and mental.

Cash's hand covers mine, peeling my aching fingers from the steering wheel and lacing them with his.

"I don't remember it all. He–"

I lick my lips, a weak attempt to build myself up. Phil not only stole my peace of mind, he stole my voice.

Cash pulls his hand away and retrieves his phone from his pocket. He starts punching buttons, my anger growing with every tap of his finger on the screen. Here I am trying to open up to him, and he's on his goddamn phone. Who does that shit? Inconsiderate assholes, that's who.

As I grab the gear shift to put it in drive, his hand covers mine stopping me.

"I get that it's hard to talk about, and I don't want to force you to say anything you don't want to. I'm going to show you something," he says confusing me.

I look at him wondering what he could possibly show me right now. His hesitance worries me. From what I've seen of Cash, he isn't one to hesitate. He holds the phone up so I can see the screen, which has turned off.

"All I want you to say is yes or no."

He hits a button and his phone comes to life blinding me for a second. When they adjust, I can't believe my eyes and close them tightly thinking I'm mistaken. I open them to realize I wasn't and I can't tear my gaze away. I wore those marks, some still remain and will take longer to fade. The terror on her face…I can only imagine that's what I looked like when I woke up and saw Phil above me. I don't know what I find more horrific, the blood stains on her jeans or the bruises marring her flesh. Who is this woman?

The screen goes dark, but the image is forever burned into my mind. Knowing that someone else suffered what I went through…no one should ever have to endure that. The brutality is enough to break someone completely.

Cash's fingers meet my cheek making me flinch and open my eyes I hadn't realized I closed. His dark eyes full of compassion and a need to commit murder. He raises his hand again and swipes tears from my face.

"That's all I needed to know."

Which is far more than I ever would have said.

Cash

After showing Hazel the picture of the woman, there was no doubt that Phil had done the same to her. She didn't have to say anything, her face said it all. Most people would be shocked and appalled. Hazel was neither. Empathy and fear haunted her features as her eyes slowly flickered from bruise to bruise reliving each one all over again until she couldn't take it anymore. Tears rolled down her cheeks when her lids clamped tightly closed, sealing Phil's fate with them. That motherfucker will experience a torment far worse than he could ever dream of inflicting on someone else. Not just for Hazel, but for the nameless woman whose only downfall was looking like her.

I drove the rest of the way to Trinity, even though I was worried about being pulled over. The drug started kicking my ass as soon as we left Dustin's house. I welcomed the darkness, thankful that Hazel couldn't see my eyes. I haven't seen them, and my eyes are normally dark, but I fear they are solid black like the others were. Hazel trusting me is my number one concern, and she finally opened up some to me. If she even thinks that I used drugs tonight, she'll build those walls back up and push me away.

Hazel leans her head against the window and stares out into the nothingness that surrounds us. I did this to her. She hasn't asked me who that woman is or why I had that picture on my phone. She hasn't said anything at all. There will come a time when she asks me those questions and I'll have to come up with an explanation. But that won't happen until she's able to lock away her own memories again.

Tonight was supposed to be a fun night. Go out with Hazel, grab the drugs while I'm at the party, and go back to her house to fuck her brains out and start getting her out of my system. It won't be long before I take off with little more than a goodbye, it was nice knowing you. But now, all I want to do is spend the night holding her and help to rebuild her faith in men. If I can replace some of her pain with…compassion, it could help begin the healing process.

Once I get into Trinity, I go through a local drive-thru and grab some food. She doesn't look my way when I get to the speaker, so I order for her. I get what I know she likes and hope it warms her heart that I remember little things she's said to me over the last couple of weeks.

When we get back to her house, I take a look around and let us in. She sits down on the couch as I lock the door then walk through her apartment to make sure Phil didn't pay a visit after he left. I'd say everything is as it was, but I'm shocked when I enter her bedroom. It's still cluttered, but she has carpet, and her bed's made. She's been busy cleaning. I can't help but smile thinking she did this for my benefit.

I sit down on the couch next to her and pull the food out of the bag, placing a bacon cheeseburger and fries in front of her. She looks down at it for a moment before carefully opening the wrapper and taking a small bite, then laying it back on the wrapper. That's a start. She's not completely lost in that head of hers.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I wink at her and the corners of her mouth pull up in a sad smile.

She nods her head and I grab the remote flipping through the channels. The
40 Year Old Virgin
is on and if anyone needs to laugh right now, it's the two of us, especially her. Hazel picks at her food at first, but after a few minutes eats almost all of it before shoving it back in the bag. The food helps to tamp down the effects of the pill I took, but not all of them. I can still feel it through my entire body.

"I think I'm gonna take a shower," she mumbles.

Hazel's giving me an out, but I'm not going anywhere. She's doesn't need to be alone tonight, and after what I've seen I don't want to be alone either. Right here is exactly where I need to be. I need to get my head on straight before I go chasing after Phil again.

"I'm not going anywhere."

She nods and leaves the room. Rustling comes from her bedroom before the bathroom door closes. I wait a few minutes before sneaking out to my truck to hide the pill and call Dale. He picks up immediately.

"Please tell me you have good news." His sounds old and tired.

"I have some news," I tell him and smirk at the hallelujah shouted through the phone.