“The horses, naturally. I guess that’s obvious. I bought an entire ranch and half of a town, apparently, so I can have a place for them. I don’t know what it is, but just being around them calms me. It takes me back to my childhood and summers I would spend with my grandparents.”
His mother had loved horses, too. She had always stabled a horse at one of the ranches outside of Hope’s Crossing and had gone riding in the mountains around town. Her mental vacation, she used to tell them. Of all the Caine children, he was really the only one who shared that love with her.
“I love a good basketball game, playing it or watching it.”
“Are you any good?”
“Not really. Doesn’t stop me from enjoying it. I’m the unathletic one of my brothers.”
“Somehow I doubt that,” she murmured.
Heat swirled between them, not all of it coming from the vehicle’s ventilation system.
“What else brings you joy?” she asked, rather quickly.
“Hmm. I love sleeping on good sheets and that first sip of coffee in the morning and fine-aged Scotch. I love going to the opera, but if you tell my brothers, I’ll deny it with all the breath left in my body.”
She laughed softly. “Secrets and more secrets. I’m not going to be able to open my mouth when your family is here.”
He smiled and realized he was quickly becoming crazy about her, too. He had a sudden disorienting, unsettling urge to reach for her hand, to drive through the quiet, peaceful dark with her fingers tucked in his.
Did she sense the connection between them? The fragile threads that seemed to curl and twine around them?
He pushed away the impulse, curled his own fingers against his thigh and forced himself to continue the conversational thread.
“That’s about it. Though—and this is probably going to sound arrogant as hell—I have to admit that I love what I have created with Caine Tech. It’s not really the material things that success has afforded me. I never sought that, though you won’t hear me complain about having them now. You were right earlier, I have been incredibly lucky in my life in some areas. Beyond all the perks of that success, I love knowing that a device or an app I created is making someone’s life easier—
many
people’s lives, more than I ever imagined. It’s an incredible rush. Indescribable, really. Sometimes I still can’t quite believe it’s real.”
He also couldn’t believe he had spilled something so intimate with her. “I don’t think I’ve articulated that to another person before.”
“Thank you for being willing to share it with me,” she murmured.
“You’re probably sorry you asked.”
She shook her head. “Not at all. How could I be? You’re a fascinating man, Aidan. More so now that I see a little of the man behind the Geek God legend.”
To his embarrassment, he could feel himself flush at the mortifying nickname from an in-depth article one of the newsmagazines had done on him. Brendan and Dylan still called him that when they wanted to rile him, usually when they were head to head on the basketball court.
Fortunately, he was saved from having to respond when they pulled up to the house. He glanced in the mirror and saw Maddie hadn’t stirred.
“Will I wake her up if I carry her in?”
“I doubt it. She can sleep through just about anything.”
He scooped up the little girl. She made a tiny sound, snuggling against him, and he felt an odd little catch in his throat.
All this time, he had told himself he didn’t want the chaos or stress of kids. Let other people with more patience, time and inclination deal with propagating the species, he had always figured.
Just went to show how stupid he could be about some things. What the hell was he thinking? This was just about the sweetest thing he could imagine, to have a little creature turn to you in full trust for warmth and security in a crazy, messed-up world.
Eliza opened the door to the cook’s quarters. The room smelled like her, like vanilla bean and citrus and summer flowers all mixed together. She had made the space their own over the past week, he was happy to see. Toys were piled in a big wicker basket next to the comfortable easy chair and a little Christmas tree stood on a table in the corner with presents underneath. She had piled throw pillows on the sofa and even hung a picture of a lovely cottage by the sea with a mother and daughter walking along the shore, hand in hand.
She was so good at making a space warm and inviting. He had walked through the guest rooms the other night and loved all the welcoming little touches she had created for his family.
“Where would you like me to put her?” he whispered.
She pointed to the bedroom and he followed her. Here, too, the space was theirs, with a pink comforter on one bed and another bright blue comforter splashed with purple-and-yellow flowers on the other.
“Give me a minute to get the bed ready,” she murmured.
She pulled back the comforter and then gestured to him. The girl didn’t stir as he carried her in and set her down. Eliza quickly pulled her boots and coat off in silence and handed them to Aidan, pointing to the other room.
He carried them into the little sitting room and waited while Eliza presumably changed Maddie into pajamas and tucked her in.
He should probably go but he found himself deeply reluctant for the evening to end.
When she walked out of the bedroom and closed the door behind her, she looked a little surprised to see him still there.
“I didn’t know where you keep these.” He held out the coat and boots in his hands.
“The mudroom. Sorry. I should have told you.”
“Oh. Right.” He felt stupid for not figuring it out.
“I can take them.”
She walked out into the kitchen and then to the mudroom, where she hung her coat and Maddie’s while he did the same with his own.
“Thank you again,” she said. “We both had a wonderful time.”
He didn’t want the evening to end. Not yet. “It’s still early. We were supposed to end the evening with hot cocoa by the fire, remember? You haven’t had anything until you’ve tried my pop’s famous real chocolate cocoa.”
“That was a bribe for Maddie’s sake and she’s sound asleep,” she pointed out.
“What would I have to offer to bribe you to stay?”
“Oh, I’m fairly impervious to bribes or blackmail,” she said, with rather adorable primness.
“Fine. I’ll just ask you, then. I’m not ready for the evening to end yet. Will you have some of my pop’s hot cocoa with me?”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
S
HE
SHOULD
REFUSE
. If she were wise, she would bid him good-night, escape into her rooms and close the door firmly behind her.
Clearly, she wasn’t very wise.
The bald truth was, she shared his sentiments. She wanted to spend more time with him. The night had been wonderful. Whether it was foolish or selfish or both, she just knew she wasn’t ready to close the door on the evening quite yet.
He had been so sweet to both of them all night: teasing and funny, protective and kind. With Maddie, he had been extraordinarily gentle, taking delight in the simple pleasure of Christmas lights on the water simply because the little girl had loved it.
That quiet conversation in the enforced intimacy of the SUV seemed to echo between them, reminding her all too forcefully that for almost six years—and especially the past three on her own—she had dedicated everything she was and had ever been to her daughter. She had made every choice with Maddie in mind, first and foremost.
As Aidan so eloquently reminded her, before she was a mother, she was also a woman—something she had lost sight of along the way.
Foolish it might be, but this man made her feel glittery and bright and
alive.
Yes, she knew this wasn’t anything approaching the beginnings of a relationship. She wasn’t a complete idiot. They were attracted to each other, certainly. Crazy as it might be, she was still at least woman enough to sense a man’s interest.
Aidan Caine was attracted to
her,
an idea she found stunning and intoxicating at the same time.
Physical desire between them was one thing, a natural—if shocking—human reaction, but the idea of anything beyond that was simply laughable. The barriers between them might as well be as formidable and unbreachable as the raw-spined Redemption Mountains.
She fully understood all that. Even so, what would be the harm in spending an hour in conversation with him? Maybe, if she were honest, sharing another one of those intense and magical kisses, if the opportunity presented itself?
“I didn’t realize I was presenting a decision of such enormity. It’s only hot chocolate, Eliza. With maybe a little Irish whiskey in it, if you’d like.”
Heat soaked her cheeks and she sincerely hoped he couldn’t see it, that he never suspected she was contemplating sharing more than a drink with him. “I’m sorry. I was woolgathering.”
She let out a breath, feeling as if she were about to take a giant leap off the top of his barn. “Yes. I would love some hot chocolate. Thanks. Just cocoa, though, please.”
She had enough trouble feeling intoxicated when she was with him.
He gave her that astonishing smile—bright, unfettered, genuine—that seemed to turn him into another person.
“Coming right up, then. People travel across oceans and continents for some of Pop’s hot cocoa. Okay,” he amended, “for Pop’s cocoa and the world-class skiing in Hope’s Crossing.”
“You really don’t have to go to any trouble. Sue has been stocking up on gourmet cocoa mix. There are several flavors in the pantry that would suit me fine. I’m not picky.”
He shook his head. “You won’t say that after you have Pop’s cocoa. It will spoil you for anything else.”
His words had an unfortunate ring of truth. She was very afraid spending this Christmas season at Snow Angel Cove would spoil her for any other holiday.
“I need to go take off my boots and check to make sure Maddie went back to sleep.”
“Great. I’ll get started, then.”
She hurried into her rooms. After switching to ballet flats and checking on Maddie, who was sleeping soundly, she hurried to the bathroom. Hoping he didn’t notice, she ran a brush through her hair, scrubbed her teeth and reapplied a little lip gloss.
When she walked into the kitchen, she found Aidan wearing a black apron and standing at the big six-burner stove, stirring the contents of a small saucepan with a wooden spoon.
“Something smells delicious,” she said. A lesser woman might get drunk on the smell of rich chocolate alone.
And him.
“It tastes better than it smells. Trust me. We’re almost there, just a few degrees shy of full boil.”
The chocolate or her hormones? She let out a breath and took a seat at the work island in order to watch him work. She thought again how comfortable he was in the kitchen. She almost found that more sexy than the whole Geek God thing he had going.
“And there we go,” he said, removing the pan from the burner. “Now the finishing touch.”
He reached into a small spice jar, pinched something between his fingers and scattered it over the pan, then shook a little salt from a shaker onto his palm before adding it to the contents of the pan.
“You added salt and what else?”
“Just a tiny bit of cinnamon. A quarter teaspoon is all you need. I would tell you that’s the secret ingredient but the real secret to this masterpiece is shaving in the fine chocolate—at least seventy percent cocoa—to the light cream and whole milk.”
“Wow. That sounds...insanely decadent.”
“Pop would sometimes add just a dollop of some Kilbeggan or Baileys to give a little extra kick. Not at the café, of course, just at home. After we were of age, of course. I think it works fine without.”
He poured some of the thick concoction into two mugs, then presented it to her with a dramatic flourish.
He then
really
impressed her by rinsing out the pan in the sink. A man might cook like a dream, but cleaning up after himself —especially when he paid people to do that for him—kicked everything up a notch or two or ten.
“Shall we go in by the fire?” he asked after he hung the apron up on a hook inside the pantry door.
Oh, this was a mistake of fairly epic proportion. She could see no graceful or polite way to back out now, after he had gone to so much trouble for her. Best to just weather through it and make her escape as soon as she could manage it.
She nodded and headed into the great room. He had turned on the fire and the lights of the tree. The room’s perfectly proportioned elegance struck her again, as it always did. The warm golden timbers, the smooth stones of the fireplace, the massive floor-to-ceiling windows and the little touches she had added combined to make it comfortable and cozy, despite its grand size.
When she first came here, the room had felt like the lobby of some old lodge in a national park. Crater Lake or Grand Teton, maybe. Beautiful, certainly, but a little too formal for someone’s home.
Now it was just right.
She settled in the armchair closest to the fire, leaving the sofa for Aidan. When she was finally comfortable, she took a sip of the hot chocolate and just about had a culinary orgasm on the spot. She might have even gasped out his name.
“Oh, my word,” she exclaimed. “That just might be the best thing I have ever tasted.”
He laughed, obviously gratified—as well he should be. “I’m glad you like it. Make sure you tell Pop when he gets here. He’ll be tickled, both that I fixed it for you and that you enjoyed it.”
“
Enjoy
is a gross understatement.”
She sipped at it again and her taste buds burst into song. It was like an explosion of deliciousness, chocolate and cream with just that hint of cinnamon to add a little bite.
A light snow had begun to fall through the big window and with the flames dancing in the grate and the tree lights twinkling, this seemed the perfect ending to a really good day.
“I wonder what happened to Sue and Jim?” she mused.
“Oh, I meant to tell you. I called her while I was shaving the chocolate. Apparently she twisted her ankle after the parade so they cut the night short.”
She set down her cup on one of the coasters she had set out in all the rooms. “Oh, no. Does she need anything?”
“I doubt it. She said she was heading straight to bed. She figured a good night’s sleep would help.”
“I hope it’s not serious.”
“She didn’t seem to think so. Wouldn’t that be a nightmare? A house filled with twenty people and no cook? The good news is, Pop is something of an expert on feeding a crowd so at least we wouldn’t starve, but I really want him to be able to rest and enjoy the holidays, if he can.”
From the sound of it, Dermot Caine sounded like a man who loved feeding other people. She wasn’t sure an enforced vacation from his passion was exactly what he needed, but it seemed presumptuous to disagree.
“I can certainly pitch in if necessary. I’m not exactly an expert in the kitchen but I take direction well.”
He smiled with a warm look in his eyes that felt as rich and heady as the chocolate sliding down. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, but thank you for the offer. I imagine my sisters-in-law and Charlotte would probably be there helping out, too. Usually the Caines suffer from having too many cooks in the kitchen instead of a dearth of them.”
“Your family really does sound wonderful. I can’t wait to meet them all.”
“I hope I haven’t built them up too much. Like any family, we have our issues. My brothers can combine to be a huge pain in the ass, if you want the truth. Between Katherine, Charlotte, Lucy and my sisters-in-law, they’ll all probably take one look at you and want to find you another husband.”
The thick hot chocolate she had been swallowing seemed to clog in her throat. “A...husband?”
“Genevieve, in particular, thinks she’s a matchmaker of some renown.”
“Oh.”
She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to that so she took one more small sip of hot chocolate. Even without any Irish whiskey, the stuff was rich and just sweet enough to sparkle through her bloodstream, leaving her feeling vaguely tipsy.
“Don’t worry,” he said gently. “I’ll tell them to back off, that you’re still grieving for Maddie’s dad.”
She blinked. “Am I?”
“You don’t talk about your late husband. I don’t even know his name. I assumed the loss is still too raw, that you loved him too much. Am I wrong?”
She set her mug down, the flavor a little bittersweet now. Her feelings for Trent were such a mixed-up jumble, the answer to that question was far from simple. “His name was Trent,” she said, her voice low. “Trent Hayward.”
She waited for some spark of recognition, maybe, but he had no reaction other than sympathy. What else did she expect? He had probably never heard of her husband.
“I
did
love him. He was a...good father. He loved Maddie and wanted the very best life for her he could provide.”
Unfortunately, she could see now that never would have been enough for Trent. Even if he had somehow miraculously managed to strike it rich, he never would have been content. He always would have wanted more and more.
“I’m sorry. If it’s not too painful, can I ask how he died?”
This was it. She had to tell him. He had asked directly and she didn’t feel right about lying to him.
“He was killed in a one-car accident. He had been drinking, something he usually didn’t do, and struck a concrete barrier on the 101.”
“Oh, El. I’m so sorry.”
She pressed her lips together at the way he said her name, like an endearment. Suddenly she wanted to tell him all of it.
“He was out of town on a business trip. San Jose, California.”
He sat back, brow furrowed. “Really? Wow, that’s a coincidence.”
Not at all. She sighed. “It was...a very difficult time. Arranging for his body to be flown back, dealing with the police investigation.”
“Investigation? It was a one-car accident. That couldn’t have been too complicated.”
She felt cold suddenly, even though the fire merrily cranked out heat.
“Not really. Just lingering questions. There was no indication he braked before the accident.”
He watched her in the firelight, that blue-eyed gaze intense. “Do you think he killed himself?”
“I don’t know. The hard truth is, I never will. He was a good man but toward the last few years of our marriage, things were strained. He wasn’t happy. I have to believe it was something inside of him. He couldn’t be content. I do know his business trip didn’t go well and he was...upset about it. He wanted so much to be a good provider for Maddie. He was trying to sell this brilliant idea for a new app he thought would be the answer to all our problems.”
His gaze sharpened. “An app?”
“Yes. But apparently Caine Tech wasn’t interested.”
“Caine Tech?” His jaw dropped and he uttered an oath, looking vaguely ill.
She shrugged. “Trent wanted to deal with the best. That’s you. He met with a couple of your minions. I don’t know their names. He said they didn’t even listen to the whole idea before they shut him down. The meeting lasted all of ten minutes.”
“Eliza. I had no idea, I swear.”
She liked it better when he called her El. Or even Ellie.
“I know you didn’t. Believe me, I know. None of it was your fault. Oh, I might have blamed you and your company for a while. It was easier than facing the truth, that my husband had a problem that was rapidly spiraling out of control. Not drinking, he rarely did that. But he was obsessed with money and success and refused to see everything he was losing along the way. The way things were going, I don’t think our marriage would have survived another year or two.”
She gave a tremulous smile. “So when you say the loss is still too painful for me, I don’t know how to answer. I still grieve for Trent Hayward and the part of me that loved him once always will...but I grieve more for the loss of Maddie’s father than for my husband.”
“Maddie’s father, who died after an unsuccessful meeting with
my
company.”
“Aidan, don’t go there. Your company’s involvement was incidental in the whole mess. He made his choices all along the way, first to drink when he knew he didn’t have the head for it and then to get behind the wheel of a car.”
“Regardless, I’m so sorry. And then I basically mowed you down on the street.” He swore again, so emphatically she had to smile a little.
“Also not your fault. We’ve established that was an accident and I’ve suffered no lasting effect.”
Except the loss of her heart, if she wasn’t very, very careful over the next few days, she added silently.