Snowscape Trilogy (7 page)

Anger surged within me and I could feel the
snow melt around me. Dripping icicles surrounding my field of
vision suddenly drowned out the sounds of the rushing river and I
vaguely recalled Violet sending me to the snowscape to meet
Nathaniel. I grabbed his shoulder and turned him toward me; pulling
off the cowl he had always hid himself behind. It was then that I
had first seen his face. His eyes. This man had travelled with me
for as long as I could remember. He had always been there. Always
just at the edge of my dreams, watching and waiting, but I had
never seen his face. Never seen his eyes. As I saw his face, his
eyes bore into my soul and I knew why he had always concealed it
from me. His eyes were of pure life, pure perfection. As if
capturing a souls and placing them into small orbs was a
possibility. His features were prefect. Not just handsome but
beautiful. 

His eyes held a bright white fire that danced
with energy. They were the color of perfect opals shimmering in a
sunlight day, reflecting with violets, greens and pale blues. His
dark hair and features only made the contrast more beautiful and
dangerous looking.

I could see a scowl pull on his lips, but it
turned into a slight smile as he looked around. The snow was gown
and we now stood in the center of a field. Fires burned around us
in the distance, but a cool and easy moving river encircled us like
a moot keeping the inferno at bay. “Very good, Ambrosia.”

“Nathaniel,” I said tasting his name upon my
lips. He nodded and suddenly I found myself back in the snowy
landscape I had started. A single bench sat under a white glow of
moonlight.

Come,” he said and took my hand leading me
on. “We have much I’m sure you wish to discuss.”

When the fires started raining down from
heaven he knew she had come. Violet had kept up her side of the
bargain and has sent Ambrosia to him. She was angry. Of that he was
both certain and scared. It was new this feeling of fear. He had
never really had to deal with fear before. As a servant of God many
eons ago his fear was always wrapped up within his faith. God would
protect. God would provide. Angels were the firstborn of God and
although he favored humans now, God still did love his immortal
children and would protect them in the end. Of that he was certain.
But fear was derived from love. One could not know fear until they
knew love. Lucifer had taught him that. And now Nathaniel knew
both. When the fires started, he went to her, as he knew he would.
As he knew me must. But she surprised him once again. When he
arrived the fires were already gone and she was waiting for
him.

I sat down on the bench expecting it to carry
the chill of the freshly fallen snow, but it did not. The only
chill I carried was the anxiety that threatened to choke down my
questions. I could barely speak I was so nervous. He still wore his
robes, soft and black, the same color as his rich dark hair and I
suddenly felt silly wearing only a nightgown in the snow. As the
thought passed through me I saw that I was now wearing a deep rich
overcoat that covered me from head to toe. My feet were no longer
naked but encased in deep wool socks and boots. The realization of
what had happened flashed through my mind.

Nathaniel nodded and sat down next to me. I
could feel his proximity through my cloths and it both pleased me
and made me nervous. I looked down and could see that now there was
a blanket draped over me as well. “You’re learning.” He said simply
and moved always from me on the bench. “Although it does not please
me to know I make you so nervous. I will not touch you unless you
ask me to.”

I looked at him. “I have questions.”

“Of course you do. But you also already have
the answers.” He drew himself up on the bench, folding both of his
legs under so he could sit comfortable looking at me. His at ease
posture helped me to relax and I threw off the extra blanket that
appeared.

I turned toward him mirroring the way he sat.
“Tell me who you are.” I ordered in the most authoritative voice I
could, mimicking the way I had spoken to Violet.

He laughed. “I’m not Violet. You cannot order
me about here and there to tell you what you want to know. Your
first lesson is that that trick can only work on humans. And if you
haven’t figured it out already, I am not human.”

“Okay. Then what are you?”

He paused a moment considering. “I am your
guardian, Ambrosia.”

“Guardian?”

He nodded. “You are a very important person
Ambrosia Ross.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Ah, yes, “ he grimaced. “I know that
Samandiriel has paid you a visit already.” He stood up and suddenly
I found him standing in front of me. He took my hand with gentle
force and pulled me up. I tried to resist but could not. He was
stronger than me. I knew in that minute that although I had some
control here, he had more. And more importantly he had control of
me.

Standing in front of me my hand gripped in
his he pulled me close and wrapped his arms around my waist. The
gesture was both soothing and unnerving. I wanted answers but there
was also no other place I wanted to be than in his arms at this
very moment. I could feel his lips brush against my collarbone and
the overwhelming need of him almost overtook me. I managed to
speak. “Please.” He bit down on my neck and waves of desire came
crashing over me. “Please,” I managed again.” Tell me what’s going
on. Tell me who you are.” I was close to tears. Tears of desire,
frustration and exhaustion all rolled over me.

Nathaniel stiffened and I could feel his
warmth leave his body. I could see the jealously radiate from his
opal eyes as he backed away from me. “Fine. But we will not speak
of Samandiriel again. You will stay away from him.”

My breath was short with anger and desire,
but I wanted answers. “Tell him to stay away from me,” I said
irritably under my breath. I looked at him and he stood passively
waiting for me to make the first move in this game we now played.
“Fine. Who are you?”

“My name is Nathaniel. And I once was
something more. But now I am no longer that. I am strictly your
guardian.”

“Why I am so important, that I would need a
guardian?”

He took my hand again, but this time as a
friendly gesture. I let him and we started walking. I blushed
suddenly when I realized that we were once again the wood that we
had had our earlier rendezvous. If Nathanial noticed he did not
say. “As you have already gathered we are walking through your
snowscape, Amy.”

The fact that he had used my nickname did not
escape me. “My snowscape?”

Nodding, “Yes. When every human dreams they
escape their mental being, their souls if you will, go to their own
personal dreamscape. Most humans are limited to four or five, but
they change and alter with age, desire and fear. Most humans go to
sleep, dream and then return to their lives. Some special ones are
able to know that they are dreaming and manipulate their
surroundings. They call it lucid dreaming. Humans usually are
limited though and do not know that everyone can control the dream
that they are in simply by using their subconscious. But you are
different, Amy. You are what the archangels refer to as a master of
dreams. You have not only the ability to evolve within your own
lucid drams, but to walk through others as well. Hence why you walk
in a snowscape”

“Why did you call it a snowscape?”

“Because you are not like other humans. When
you are here others can only see the white noise that surrounds
you. You drown out all other senses to an observer save the one you
are speaking to. I’m sure there are many words for it in many
languages. Snowscape is just a nickname the angels gave it long
ago.”

“So you are saying I can visit anyone’s
dreams I want to?”

“Yes.”

“Although an intriguing concept why would
that make me important? What does it matter if I can see another’s
dreams?”

“You’ve already started noticing things about
people, haven’t you? Your intuition is usually right. You know a
person’s wants or fears just by looking at them. That is why people
intrigue you so much. That is why you are content to watch them go
about their daily lives without thought of interference why eye
contact does not make you nervous. You can see into their dreams.
Not as clearly as when you are sleeping, but even when you are
awake your intuition is never really wrong.”

“So? I have good intuition? What is so
dangerous about that?”

“Ambrosia, I don’t think you understand what
this type of power could do on the human realm. You can go into any
living persons dream at any time. You can make them see what you
want them to see. You can know their biggest fears, their deepest
regrets. Do you understand what kind of havoc you could wreck onto
this world with knowledge like that? You can control presidents or
kings. You can expose secrets and guilt’s. You are the single most
dangerous person who had been alive in the history of mankind.”

I swallowed. There was more he wasn’t telling
me. I could feel it. “What about you?”

He tilted his head, “Me?”

“I know you are more powerful here than I am.
I can feel it.” I raised my hand to his chest and noticed the
warmth seeping through from under his soft cloak. I did not know if
it were my hand that led it there or his, but he took full
advantage and grasped my small fingers in his own. I notice he wore
a ring on his left hand. A simple band made of soft white gold like
my mothers had been. Mine did not travel with me into my dream
world and I suddenly noticed its absence like a cold weight on my
finger.

He led me to a fallen tree where we both sat,
knees and hand touching, but nothing else. I felt weak and unworthy
of such a responsibility. I held his hands tight as the world
danced around in my head and I became dizzy. He put his arm around
my shoulder and hugged me tight against his soft robes. “You’re
waking up. I will be here when you return.” I reached up and held
his face in my hands, staring into his perfect opal round orbs and
I suddenly pulled him towards me in a deep passionate kiss. I could
feel his tongue move about my mouth as the world spun and I kissed
him harder my nails pressing deeply into the sides of his face. I
could feel his moan of need in my mouth and I awoke suddenly on my
couch breathless, with a painful yearning in the pit of my being
and even more questions.

Chapter 10

By the time I woke up it was already late
afternoon. The sun really was about to set and the sunny day that
was ready to burst before Violet drugged me had turned sour and
rainy. It was dim and grey outside and the bitter part of me felt
it appropriate that the rest of the world feel how I did right now.
I woke up without any sense of grogginess and I knew that I
wouldn’t be able to fall asleep anytime soon. I didn’t want to sit
around the apartment board and alone so I picked up the phone to
call Kayla. I noticed then that the background screen on my phone
had been changed to a picture of a single four-leaf clover and a
note besides it ‘for luck!’ A forgiveness present left by Violet I
presumed. My thoughts turned to Nathaniel’s remark about me tasting
like clovers. It made me both blush and smile despite my anger as I
thought also of Samandiriel and our kiss by the side of the road. I
did not understand the two men that had suddenly taken over my
life, but I had the distinct feeling that this was not a new
occurrence. M heart had been torn asunder in the past and Violet
had told me I must choose. There was no mistake of what she was
speaking. I just did not understand yet the implications of each
choice. I needed a short break from all of this madness.

It turns out my highly caffeinated current
BFF, Kayla had a small Wiccan welcome gathering planned at her
house this evening. Resolving to drink my blues away with idle
chatter about crystals and Gaia I got dressed in my finest simple
jean skirt, boots and plain red T-shirt. Thanks to the rain, I knew
my hair would be a frilly mess so I pulled it into a tight but
dramatic bun on top of my head threw on some mascara and grabbed a
light coat. Ready for a fun filled evening of red wine and the
Mother Goddess, texted Kayla that I was on my way.

An hour later I was chatting about the
duality of religion with a recent convert to Kayla’s coven who was
both attractive and seeming misdirected in life. His name was Ben
and he had dropped out of Harvard then backpacked across the
country in search of finding something greater than himself. Having
run out of country in Washington State two months ago he “settled
down” and took a job at The Spot Coffee where he met Kayla and
became a devoted Wiccan. The way he kept sneaking looks over to her
a she mingled around the room also gave me the impression that he
became a devote Kaylanite as well. Her no nonsense attitude and
bursting self confidence often made many men develop crushes and I
could see several of the party goers eyeing her up as she was
slipping around each group of the crowd. Filling drinks and making
sure everyone was sufficiently entertained, she was completely
oblivious to the attention. Her high laugh jumped over the music
and I again felt envious of her carefree, happy spirit that
attracted so many friends and faithful musicians.

Her forthright demeanor and excitement over
every new adventure really was something that most people admired.
Myself included. Although I had always considered myself confident
and honest, my lack of comfortableness around people always showed
and came across awkward. Kayla was the exact opposite. She was warm
and loud and friendly. The kind of girl that would just walk up to
you and give you hug when she’s know you would need it. Usually I
found people like that were putting on airs; that the gentle warm
spirit was just an act, but for Kayla it was just who she was. Much
like the other day at the bar when I had the sense that Eric had
found his perfect woman, it came over me with the same focus that
Kayla was real. Her heart was always true and solid and her
optimism was hard-core to the bone. As the sensations came through
my mind I tilted my head gently out of my reverie and tried to pay
attention to Ben as he continued his story.