So Much It Hurts (24 page)

I quietly opened the front door of the condo and tiptoed inside.

“Good morning,” Shannon whispered.

“Are you the only one awake?” I asked.

“For now. Want some coffee?”

“Sure.”

“Early morning jog on the beach?”

“Yeah, something like that. Just took a walk to clear my head.”

“I don’t blame you. After last night, I’d need a breather too.”

“Thanks.” I smiled as Shannon passed me a steaming hot mug of coffee.

“You really loved him, didn’t you?” Shannon asked, as she sat down beside of me at the bar.

I sighed, before I took a sip of my coffee. “Yeah, I really did.”

“I can tell.”

We sat in silence, lost in our thoughts, drinking our coffee while we waited for the rest of the girls to wake up. Slowly, they trickled into the kitchen, filling their mugs and sitting quietly on the sofa until the caffeine kicked them into gear.

“Are you guys ready to hit the pool?” Tori asked. “I might hit the gym downstairs first, and then meet you guys after. Is that okay?”

“Sure,” Lisa piped up. “Let’s go get our tan on.” She smiled, tossed her hair into a messy bun, and grabbed her swimsuit from the balcony where she’d laid it out to dry.

The pool chairs were already getting filled up by the time we made it downstairs. Thankfully, there were four chairs left side by side in the far corner of the pool area. We draped our towels across them and sat down to apply our sunscreen, preparing for a day of tanning and relaxing.

We enjoyed the pool for a couple hours, watching the planes fly low over the shoreline dragging their advertisement banners behind them. The hot sun baked our skin, and we relished the feeling of lifted spirits that our newly bronzed skin seemed to bring us. The gentle breeze off of the ocean kept us cool enough to enjoy the rising heat of the sun. Shannon spent most of her morning floating on a long pink pool noodle, relaxing in the water, while Lisa looked at the latest celebrity magazines. I read my newest downloaded novel, It All Started With a Lima Bean by Kimi Flores, on my e-reader. Tori finished her workout and then joined us at the pool area, but spent time in the hot tub before crashing on the lounge chair next to me.

“There’s just nothing like a day spent at the beach,” Tori announced. “Anyone want to take a dip in the ocean? The salt water is good for your skin,” she coerced.

All the girls agreed to go with her, except me. I was completely immersed in the book and wanted to get to the end of the chapter. They headed off to the ocean while I continued to stretch out on my chair, soaking in the sun rays and drowning myself in the story. I could hear my friends laughing in the distance. I welcomed the sound. It was a sound of happiness and freedom—a sound I had longed to hear for quite a while. Sometimes laughter and time spent with girlfriends could be the best kinds of therapy. I knew we all needed a good dose of it.

After an hour or so, the girls made their way back to the pool area. I had long since finished my chapter and had gotten sucked into the next few when I heard the gate open and slam shut. Loud, masculine chatter echoed across the pool.

“Dude, I totally had you.”

“Nah, bro. You didn’t. I smoked your ass.”

“Whatever, man. I’ll challenge you again later. We’ll see who wins.”

“I will. Like a boss.”

The guys laughed as they rounded the corner and saw us all stretched out, lounging on our chairs.

“Whoa,” I heard one guy say under his breath.

“Yeah,” another one agreed.

“Kaitlyn, there you are,” Chris playfully punched his friend on the arm and gave him a ‘back off, dude’ look.

I bolted up, grabbing the bikini straps that I had untied to avoid tan lines across my neck and chest. The girls all stirred and sat up too, admiring the eye candy that had just stepped around the corner.

Quickly tying the strings around my neck, I stammered, “Chris, I…sorry, I didn’t know for sure when or if you were coming.”

“We brought lunch,” he said proudly, grabbing the giant aluminum rectangular pan from one of his buddies. “Fresh steamed shrimp and oysters from Captain Joe’s.”

“Wow, thank you,” I said.

Shannon smiled. “Smells delicious.”

The scent of Old Bay seasoned seafood wafted toward me, and my stomach growled. “Are these your roommates?” I asked.

“Unfortunately.” Chris grinned and gave a sidelong glance to the guys beside him.

“Don’t listen to him. He’s lucky to have us,” the tall blond said as he tossed a football in the air and caught it.

“That’s Jeremy,” Chris nodded in the blond’s direction. “He’s my drummer, and God’s ultimate gift to women.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw Lisa smile and give a slight nod of agreement that went unnoticed by anyone else.

“Don’t hate the player, hate the game,” Jeremy chuckled with obvious sarcasm.

Chris nodded toward the other guy. “And that’s Preacher, but you can call him Tommy. He plays bass.”

Tommy was a bit shorter, but had brown hair and brown eyes just like Chris. Well, maybe they were hazel; it was hard to tell with that swoop of hair he had drooping over them. Tommy flicked his head to get the hair off his face. He reached out his hand to shake mine and introduce himself, “Name’s Tommy
Bishop
, hence the ‘never gets old, ever-so-funny’ joke.” He rolled his eyes toward Chris, then glanced back at me. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Kaitlyn.” Tommy’s sweet disposition seemed completely opposite of the persona standing in front of me. He was covered in tattoos and piercings that screamed self-absorbed rock god. But, when he spoke, he sounded like he stepped right off a page in Emily Post’s book of etiquette.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. These are my friends: Shannon, Tori, and Lisa.”

Tommy took a moment to shake each of my friends’ hands. Like a gentleman, he lifted each hand to his lips to gently kiss the top of it.

“Awww, look at you…all sweet on the ladies,” Jeremy teased.

“Better take notes,” Tommy winked at him, then grinned at me.

Chris interrupted, “Who’s hungry? Let’s eat!”

Jeremy opened the lid of the aluminum pan that held about ten pounds of steamed shrimp and oysters. We all dug in, peeling shrimp and shucking oysters until the juice dripped down our chins and ran down our arms. It didn’t take long before the aluminum pan was empty, and we were feeling fat and happy.

“You guys are awesome. Thank you for bringing us lunch,” Shannon said as she wiped her sticky fingers on a napkin.

“Yeah, that was delicious,” Lisa agreed.

Tori nodded. “There’s nothing like local seafood. That was fantastic.”

Chris grinned, knowing he’d won the hearts of my friends with his kind gesture.

“Who’s ready for a little football on the beach?” Jeremy asked tossing the ball at Lisa.

“I’m down,” she grinned. “It’s a good thing my husband taught me how to throw a ball.”

“Damn, you’re married?” Jeremy whined.

Lisa nodded. “Almost seven years.”

“Well, there’s no harm in tossing the ball around,” he shrugged. “Let’s go.”

“Ladies,” Tommy held his elbows out for Tori and Shannon, “may I?”

The girls giggled and interlocked their arms with his.

“Tommy, you’re such a gentleman,” Shannon flirted.

“I try my best.” He winked at her. I could almost see her swooning from where I sat. I couldn’t blame her. Tommy was definitely a player, and he knew the game well. Shannon just played along for the fun of it, knowing nothing would come of it.

I stuffed my e-reader into my bag to head down to the beach with the rest of them.

“Do you want to take a walk instead?” Chris asked as he held his hand out to me to help me up from my lounge chair. As many hours as I’d spent sitting there, my backside felt numb. A walk sounded nice to get my blood circulating again.

“Sure,” I nodded. “Let’s go.”

“Great.” We walked, arm in arm, down the boardwalk toward the sand.

Once we were a good distance away from our group, Chris piped up. “Kaitlyn Davenport, I honestly thought after high school, I’d never see you again.”

“Thomas,” I corrected him.

“Thomas?”

“Kaitlyn Thomas.”

“Oh.”

The word hung in the air like a dense fog.

“Happily married, huh?” Chris finally asked.

“Yeah...” my voice trailed off.
Married, yes. Happily, not so much.
It was the first time in six years I had even an ounce of regret about my marriage. I mean, I knew our marriage needed work, but I never regretted it—not until that moment. The thought terrified me.

“Wow, how long have you been married?” Chris finally asked.

“Almost six years. We have a son. He’s five. His name is Eli.”

“That’s great. He’s a lucky little boy to have you for a mom.”

“Thanks. He keeps me busy.”

Chris chuckled. “I bet he does. That’s why there’s no way I’m ready to have children right now. I’m sure they’re a blessing and all, but they take a lot of time and sacrifice that I’m just not prepared to give right now.”

I laughed. He was right about the time and sacrifice part, hence my desperate need for a vacation at the beach in the first place. “So,” I asked, “what have you been up to all these years?”

“Just working and writing music,” he said. “I moved to the beach after I got out of juvie. I used to do maintenance work on the piers down here. But, once I signed with my first agent, I started writing music full time. You’ve probably heard a few of the songs I’ve written for other singers on the radio, like
In Love with a Memory
.”

The title struck me, and a few of the lyrics filtered into my mind.

Who knew we’d have to say goodbye?

I can’t get you off my mind.

I’m in love with a memory.

So in love with a memory.

“Really? Wow! That was yours? That’s fantastic. I love that song.”

Could that song be about me? Nah. There’s no way.

Chris nodded as if he could read my mind. “Thanks,” he said humbly. “It’s nothing much really. I keep my bills paid doing gigs around town. My band and I are almost finished with our first album. Then hopefully you’ll be able to actually hear
me
singing my songs on the radio.”

“That would be awesome!”

“Yeah…” his voice trailed off. “So, how about you?” Chris asked, changing the subject. “What have you been up to all these years? That is, besides being a wife and mother.”

“I went to college, but got married right after I found out I was pregnant. I was able to finish my psychology degree, but decided to stay home with Eli instead of going to work.”

“What ever happened to that asshole?”

“Oh, Trevor? Well, it’s a long story.”

My mind flashed back to that day in the bathroom.

I heard the door slam as someone stomped into the restroom. The sound of someone jerking paper towels from the dispenser and running water splashing from the faucet, echoed off the tile walls.

“Stupid jerk,” a voice muttered.

I flushed the toilet, grabbed the travel size hand sanitizer from my purse, and slipped out of the stall hoping to make a quick escape, but I instantly recognized the reflection in the mirror.

“Eva?”

“Go away, Kaitlyn,” she grumbled, dabbing the wet paper towel under her eyes to erase the runny mascara lines.

“What’s wrong, Eva?”

She stopped and scowled at me in the mirror. “What do you care?” She tossed the paper towel into a nearby trashcan.

The proof of her pain was immediately evident to me. “I care because I know.”

“You don’t know shit,” she barked, the tears brimming her eyes.

“I dated Trevor long enough to know those bruises on your wrists didn’t come from practicing cheer stunts in your backyard during sleepovers with the girls.”

Eva stared at me, her eyes wide with fear, confusion, and relief. As if we shared some secret club password, she slowly nodded her head. Covering her face with her hands, her knees buckled as she sank to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably.