So You Call Yourself a Man (6 page)

Cathy and I were on our way home from Brent's wedding when we got stuck in a terrible traffic jam on the Cross Island Parkway. Her head was on my shoulder and I was holding her hand as I drove. I think she fell asleep about ten minutes into the drive, although she made overtures before we left the reception that she wanted to make love when we got home. I didn't have a problem with that at all. Matter of fact, it made me contemplate the question Sonny had posed to me before he left to sleep with Tiffany.

What would you tell the woman with the best coochie you ever had in your life if she offered you some?

As a man who wants to be honest with himself, I had to admit that I'd probably take her up on the offer. Thank God, unlike Sonny, the best coochie I've ever had belonged to my wife. Yeah, I cheated on her with Michelle a few years back, but I wasn't proud of it, especially with all this craziness with her claiming I was her baby's daddy. However, it wasn't because of the sex that I strayed from my marriage. It was because we lost our connection as friends and we stopped talking to each other. Don't get me wrong. There was a sexual connection between me and Michelle, but it would have never happened if Cathy and I hadn't stopped being friends.

When we finally pulled into the driveway, it started to rain hard. Despite the dreary weather, Cathy woke up smiling seductively, and it was obvious what was on her mind. She guided my hand to her crotch, pulling up her dress, and I could feel the heat through the thin material of her lace thong.

“I'm so wet,” she whispered.

I began to rub between her legs gently, and a soft moan escaped from her mouth as she rested her head back on her head-rest.

“I want some, James. I want some bad.” She moaned again just as my fingers found the little button she called her “spot.” She closed her eyes and enjoyed my smooth, easy touch for a few seconds. “You know you owe me from last night.”

We hadn't had sex last night as we had planned. When I got home from babysitting Marcus, Cathy had been in a deep sleep, and to be truthful, I was glad. I was too mentally drained to do anything, especially after Marcus almost choked to death on that lollipop. All I wanted to do was go to sleep and forget.

“So, you gonna give me some or what?” She reached over to grab my manhood and I stopped her with my free hand.

“I don't know, Cathy. I'm a little tired,” I teased.

“Tired?” If looks could kill I'd be dead. “Well, you better go inside and drink a cup of coffee or something, 'cause I need some. I ain't had none in over a week. And you know how I am when I ain't had none in a while.” She forced her hand free from my grasp and it landed in my lap. She had a smile a mile wide when she felt the rock-hard pipe under my tuxedo pants. “Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout.”

The rain let up for a few seconds and Cathy immediately released my manhood and reached for the door.

“Come on now, James,” she whined, suggesting I wasn't moving fast enough. “I told you I want some.”

“Aw'ight, boo, I'm coming.” I reached for my door and she smiled, rushing out of the car. “I'll meet you upstairs. I wanna take a shower and put on something sexy.” She sounded giddy as she ran to the front door ahead of me.

When I got in the house, the sound of running water floated down the stairs. I slid out of my tuxedo jacket and was about to slip off my cummerbund when the phone rang. “I got it,” I yelled up the stairs, reaching for the phone. As usual, I checked the caller ID. The number was unavailable.

“Hello.”

“James?” I almost pissed on myself when I heard Michelle's voice. Instinctively, I covered the phone, tilting my head and listening to make sure the shower was still running.

“What the hell are you calling my house for?” I hissed into the phone. Threats were one thing, calling my cell phone was another, but I couldn't believe she had actually dialed my home number again. This chick was getting on my nerves. “I told you about this shit.”

“Don't be screaming on me, James. I tried to call you on your cell phone, but you didn't answer.” She was right. I'd cut my ringer off for the wedding ceremony and had completely forgotten to turn it back on.

“This better be important, Michelle, and don't even think about asking me to babysit. You already told me you don't have to work tonight.”

“I don't want you to babysit, James,” she said coldly. “I need you to go to the twenty-four-hour Walgreens on Guy Brewer and get me some Children's Tylenol. Marcus has a fever.”

“You gotta be kidding.
You
go get it!” I knew I sounded belligerent and unfeeling, but this girl was going too far.

“You know I ain't got no car and it's raining outside. I'm not taking my baby out in the rain. He's sick already.”

“I'm busy, Michelle. Don't you have some dude who can help you? Damn, you know you need a man.”

“Very funny, James. And no, I ain't got nobody to help me. You my help! So stop trying to avoid your responsibility.”

Suddenly, the upstairs bathroom door opened. I looked up and Cathy was at the top of the stairs with only a towel wrapped around her. I don't think she had a clue who was on the phone or what we were talking about, but I panicked. I dropped the phone on the floor, and by the time I got my shit together, Cathy was headed down the stairs. I scrambled to pick it up.

“Sweetheart, you don't care if I don't wear a nighty, do you? It's only going to come off once we get started.”

“Whatever you want to do, hun,” I told her quickly. “Just get your fine ass up the stairs so we can do it.” Thank God she stopped halfway down the steps. I placed the phone on my ear and it was dead.

“Okay.” She stared at me suspiciously. “Who's that on the phone?”

“Aah…” I glanced at the phone, wishing it wasn't in my hand. “It was Sonny, but we…we got disconnected.”

“What did he want?”

“Ah…his rental car broke down on the Conduit….” I couldn't even finish my lie because the phone rang again.

Cathy gave me a disappointed look that was about to become an angry look. “You're not going to pick him up, are you, James?”

“Not until I put you to bed properly, baby. Sonny's just gonna have to wait. I promise.”

“Good, now hurry up and get your friend off the phone. Momma wants some lovin'.” She turned around and walked back up the stairs while I quickly walked toward the kitchen.

“Hello?”

“Why'd you hang up on me?” Michelle snapped.

“I didn't.” I was trying to remain calm.

She raised her voice even louder. “Yes, you did.”

“Look, I don't have time to argue with you. It was an accident. I dropped the phone by accident.”

“Whatever.” I could almost see her neck rolling on the other end of the phone. “So, are you gonna bring me some Tylenol for your son?” I hated it when she called him my son.

“Yeah, I'll be over there in a few.” I tried to think of a lie to give me more time. “I'm waiting for my wife to come home with the car.” I hung up the phone, then hit the talk button again. When I heard the dial tone, I placed the phone on the kitchen table. Now if she called back, she'd just get a busy signal, I told myself as I walked toward the stairs to take care of my wife.

I was following Tiffany back to her apartment in Queens, still intoxicated from the effects of our dance. There was an accident on the Cross Island Parkway, so she was taking me some back way through residential neighborhoods in Long Island. About thirty minutes into our ride I spotted a sign that read:
ENTERING THE TOWN OF ELMONT
and I could feel my hormones start to kick into overdrive. I wasn't quite sure where we were, but I was sure that we were close enough to the Queens border that I'd have Tiffany naked as the day she was born within the half-hour. It had been seventeen years since we'd made love, but I could still remember the way she moaned and the warm, wet, velvety way she felt when I slid inside her.

Tiffany and I had a sexual chemistry like no one I'd ever been with, and it was never more evident to me than the way I felt the second we walked on the dance floor. I couldn't wait to kiss her, to touch her, and yes, to make love to her. But as Murphy's Law would have it, there were always going to be some obstacles in my way, this time in the form of a ringing cell phone.

I checked the caller ID, hoping it was James, but I knew it wasn't. It was my wife checking up on me. I was tempted to answer it and tell her I was on my way home or tired, but I never hit the talk button because I didn't want to lie. Matter of fact, when it stopped ringing, I turned the phone off completely. I'd just have to deal with the consequences in the morning. I know it sounds crazy for me to jeopardize everything I had with Jessica, but for me this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Believe it or not, I felt no guilt until we pulled up to a stop sign and I saw a house for rent. It was a white Cape Cod with black or maybe blue shutters. It was dark, but the yard looked big enough for my kids to play in. Damn, this was it. This was the house Jessica and I had always dreamed of. I searched for a pen to write down the phone number on the
FOR RENT
sign, but I couldn't find one. Tiffany was now a block in front of me and I had no choice but to speed up and catch her, hoping I'd be able to remember how to get back to my family's dream house.

Ten minutes later, I pulled in behind Tiffany's car and watched her get out, swaying those lovely hips as she walked to the sidewalk. She stared at me through the passenger-side window for a few seconds, obviously waiting for me to get out of the car. When I didn't, she walked over and knocked on the window. I rolled it down and she stuck her head in, grinning.

“You coming?” I wanted to say yes in the worst way, but James's words and my reply had been echoing in my head ever since I'd seen that house for rent.

What about Jessica?
he asked.

What about her? What she doesn't know won't hurt her
, I had replied.

Looking back on things, I couldn't believe those words came out of my mouth. I knew it would hurt Jessica, if only because my conscience would kill me and I wouldn't be able to look her in the face.

“Get in for a minute. I have to tell you something.”

She opened the door and slid into the car, no longer grinning. “What's wrong?”

“I'm married. I have a wife and kids back in Seattle. I thought you should know that.” I didn't bother to tell her I was moving back to New York, because I didn't plan on seeing her once my family was here.

“I appreciate you telling me, but I figured as much when I saw your wedding band. I don't wanna take you away from her, Sonny. I just want to borrow you for a night or two.”

“No, I don't think you understand. I'm happily married. I love my wife.”

She gave me a strange look. “Then what are you doing here? Why did you come?”

“Honestly, I don't know. Somehow I got caught up in the moment on the dance floor and things got out of hand. You brought out things in me that I haven't felt in years. Even now part of me wants to take you inside and make love to you all night long. But I can't, because I love my wife. She and my kids are my world, and I will not give them up for one night of pleasure, even if it's going to be the greatest night of pleasure in my life. And I'm sure it would be.”

She lowered her head. “God, I am such a fool. How could I let something like this happen?”

“You're not a fool. I'm the fool for leading you on.” I placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder.

She lifted her head and turned to me, her eyes not nearly as angry as I thought they would be. “Now you're the one who doesn't understand. I'm the fool because I let you go seventeen years ago. I've had one bad relationship after another, men cheating on me, beating on me. All I ever wanted was someone to be my friend, my lover, someone who loves me. I'm the fool because I had all that in you. I just couldn't see it at the time.”

I didn't know what to say.

“Go home, Sonny. Go home to your wife and your family in Seattle. But you tell her I said she better watch her back. If she ever messes up, I'm going to be waiting here in New York to step into her shoes, because she's the luckiest woman on this earth.”

She leaned over and kissed my cheek, then stepped out of the car. I watched her walk to her door and thought briefly about chasing after her so we could finish what we had started on the dance floor. Instead, I turned on my cell phone and called my wife to tell her about our dream house and just how much I loved her.

It was almost forty-five minutes later when I left Cathy asleep in the house. I'd given her what I called “a sleeping pill”—two orgasms from oral sex and a quickie doggy-style from the back. That put her to sleep every time. I hated the idea of using sex with my wife to get me out of the house, but there was nothing I could do. Once again I was letting Michelle dictate the situation, and it was starting to piss me off because I really wasn't sure that the boy was my son.

In spite of the rain-slicked roads, I pulled in front of Michelle's place twenty minutes after I left my house. I was barely up the walkway when she flung open the door and grabbed the Walgreens bag out of my hand. “It's about damn time!”

“How is he?” I asked. She didn't reply, so I just followed her into the house. When we entered his bedroom, I knew something was very wrong. Marcus's arms were lying limply by his side and his eyes were glazed. I felt his forehead, and he was burning up. His skin looked dry and his lips were parched.

“Hey, little man. You aw'ight?”

Marcus gave me a weak smile. The dim light in his eyes showed he remembered me. “Daddddy,” he whispered.

I didn't respond—I just turned to Michelle, who was opening the Children's Advil. I wanted to say something, but from the look on her face, it wouldn't have been wise.

“Why'd you get this? I told you I wanted Children's Tylenol,” she complained.

“Children's Advil is better than Tylenol. It'll bring his fever down faster. Trust me. I've got two sons, remember?”

Michelle stopped what she was doing and turned to me as she spoke. The word “attitude” should have been written all over her face. “No, James, you've got three sons: James Jr., Michael, and
Marcus
. Don't you ever forget that!”

Our eyes locked, and my mind told me this was not a battle I could win. So, it was time to change the subject. I was starting to formulate a plan, though, and when it was all said and done, I'd have the last laugh.

“Did you take his temperature?” I asked.

“Yeah, it looked like it said 105, but—”

“A hundred and five! It can't be 105. He'd be damn near dead if it was 105!”

“I don't know. Maybe I was reading the thermometer wrong. I never had to do this before. My mama was always here.” She looked like she wanted to cry.

“Where is it?”

She took the thermometer off the dresser and handed it to me. I inserted it in Marcus's mouth. When I read the red line and it indicated 101, I turned to Michelle. “We better take him to the emergency room.”

“Okay. Let me give him a dose of this Advil and I'll be ready.” Michelle grabbed up Marcus's jacket and a blanket to throw over his head.

 

I opened my eyes to the bright lights of Jamaica Hospital's waiting room and the annoying sound of Michelle's agitated voice calling my name. I'd dozed off about twenty or thirty minutes ago and now all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go back to sleep—something Michelle was not about to let me do, from the scolding look on her face. Why the heck was this girl so mad at me all the time?

“Wake up, James.” Michelle kicked me lightly.

“I'm up,” I snapped, moving my feet to my right side so that she couldn't kick me again.

Absentmindedly, I scanned the waiting room, thankful that I didn't see anyone I knew. It would be just my luck that one of Cathy's friends would walk into the waiting room and see me with Michelle. I checked my watch. I'd been gone from my house over two and a half hours. All I could do was pray that Cathy would sleep through the night and not notice I was gone, but the way things were going in my life, I was expecting her call at any moment. I needed to get my behind home.

“What'd the doctors say? Is Marcus going to be all right?”

I didn't have a clue as to what Marcus's condition was because I'd been forced to stay behind in the waiting room after they called his name. Can you believe that after sitting there for an hour and fifteen minutes, they still wouldn't let me go with Michelle, because only one parent was allowed in the examination room during treatment? What I didn't understand was why they hadn't rushed him straight into the examination room in the first place. When the nurse took his temperature, she had it at 102. Recently, there'd been quite a few cases of West Nile virus in the news, so I was more worried about the little guy than I let on. Especially when I remembered that I'd seen a dead bird in Michelle's driveway the other day.

“It's an ear infection. The doctor says he's going to be all right.”

I let out a sigh of relief. “My kids have had ear infections before. They're really no big deal as long as he doesn't have them on the regular.”

“I'll be able to take him home once the fever breaks,” Michelle said.

“Thank God. How long do they think that's gonna be?” My face didn't hide the fact that I was ready to leave. As far as I was concerned, I'd done my good deed. Hell, I'd gone beyond the call of duty. I'd brought her the children's Advil, taken her to the hospital, and stuck around for a few hours.

“I don't know. The doctor said it could be twenty minutes, it could be a couple of hours.”

“A couple of hours?” I glanced at her, shaking my head. “Michelle, I can't stay here a couple of hours. Do you think if I gave you cab fair you could…”

She raised her hand to stop me from talking. I was sure she was about to tell me some shit like, “Hell no, you can't leave. I ain't about to take my baby home in no cab,” but to my surprise, she didn't say anything like that.

“Go on home, James. I got money for a cab.” She actually looked sincere.

“You sure? I don't want any trouble, Michelle.”

She nodded, giving me a slight smile. “Ain't gonna be no trouble, James. I know you gotta be home before the sun comes up.” She bent over and kissed my forehead.

“What's that for?”

“That's for being a good father. I know I was tough on you, but I appreciate what you did.”

“Ms. Jones?” We both turned toward the voice and an Indian man in a lab coat approached us. “It looks like your son's fever has broken. You can take him home.”

Both Michelle and I smiled. “Thank you, doctor,” I said. The doctor walked back to the examination area and Michelle turned toward me. “I understand this isn't a perfect situation for you, James, but all I want you to do is treat my son the same way you do his brothers. I don't want no more, no less. You think you can handle that?”

“I just don't want any drama, Michelle.”

“Neither do I. I just want you to be a father for my son.”

“Then that's what I'll be. All you gotta do is work with me.” And I meant what I said.